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This chap is affectionately dedicated to -
vidhi_99✨
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"Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me...................."
Mrs Suniti Mohan had barely opened her mouth to ask any questions when she noticed Ved and Shaurya's unsettled expressions. She could easily make out that something was off in between them since the time they returned from their in-laws' place.
Even dinner was being a silent affair. It was only Shaurya, Ved and Mrs Suniti Mohan at the dinner table at then.
"Children, let me fill your plates." The senior lady added after throwing a cautious stare at the other two, "How's everything there?"
"Just fine."
Ved replied while Shaurya stayed mum. Both the men were consistently trying to refuse in meeting each other's eyes. The elder lady couldn't handle it anymore,
"What's wrong? Is anything up between you both?"
"Nothing is wrong, Maa. Pass me the jug, I've to go to the hospital for my night shift and I'm getting late."
Shaurya muttered on finishing up the contents of his plate in hurry. His mother offered him a concerned look.
"What do you mean? Will you be going today as well?"
"Yes."
"Just now you've returned after such a long journey, take a leave."
Mrs Suniti Mohan suggested. To which Shaurya couldn't help but respond,
"I cannot, Maa. Already my two days got wasted in the..."
His words were interrupted by his mother's interjection almost immediately.
"Shh! It's not good to say like that."
"Fine!"
Murmuring that Shaurya walked out.
Ved too got up after him and walked in the different direction. He was so disappointed with both Shaurya and Manjiri that day. More than them, he was disappointed with himself. For the very first time, he doubted himself if he did right by making the other two marry in hurry. Should he have allowed some more time to ponder over the situation at then?
On the way back to home, he was unable to hold his inquisitiveness any longer, so he had straightforwardly questioned Shaurya on certain things. Disturbed Shaurya too required a vent out at that moment, so after much hesitancy he nearly told Ved everything only cutting out the part that he also confessed his love to her that night.
Ved was very stunned to hear all that. Little did he have any knowledge about what all was boiling inside Manjiri, he would have handled her well. He regretted leaving her like that.
What shook Ved more was that his brother had almost raised his hand on a girl who Ved took her as his child. He was utterly displeased that day.
Still he decided to not to interject in their personal matter. He had his rule. He wouldn't intervene unless their prospective choices would may turned out to be unquestionably destructive to themselves or others.
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"She said it with so much hope and love that I couldn't refuse her, Dii..."
"Miru, hearts doesn't get connected this way. Why do I have to make you understand this every single time?"
In response to Adishri's displeased words, Manjiri could only took a shallow sigh before speaking,
"I'm sorry, Dii, but I'm unable to think of anything aptly right now. I just went with what I felt was right. Please, allow me some time..."
"Ok!" Adishri had to drop the matter despite not wanting to. She was clearly not in favour of Manjiri being away from her. Nevertheless, she didn't react cause she knew her reaction would may not be welcoming. She just wished that her sister would decide to return soon. She added deflecting the talking point, "How is Jiya Bhabhi in person?"
"She is very sweet, even sweeter than she used to seem on phone calls. But it's just that she feels awkward here. Taiji hardly acknowledges her presence."
"And Jai Bhaiya?"
"Dii, you do care for him, then why can't you both talk? You know he doesn't show but Tauji's death has left him shaken..."
"Miru, I'm not as forgiving as you're. It's true that I too want to talk to him, comfort him but I just can't. The helplessness I had undergone in those days doesn't allow me."
"You know, Dii, I used to think and believe the same. But off late I've realised that maybe what Bhaiya did was right..."
"Miru?"
Adishri gasped, an unease barging in. Manjiri sensed it, thereby she promptly explained her view to her sister.
"Yes, what was really his mistake if he chose to prioritise his wife's self-respect over everything. Our family, be it Dadi or Tauji and Taiji, never gave the respect and status which Jiya Bhabhi deserved. They obliquely forced Bhaiya to leave everything, so then why would he still choose to return to the same people who didn't value him or the relations related to him in the first place?"
"Wow! So much change in just two days. You've started speaking his language."
"No, Dii, I've not changed. But I've understood one thing very properly and that is when you don't get respect from the people who claim to love you, then that love cannot be trusted."
After speaking, Manjiri instantly paused as she realised she was literally going somewhere else. She too claimed to love him in her heart but failed to give him and his feelings some respect. Adishri inquired after a brief silence,
"So Taiji still didn't accept Jiya Bhabhi?"
"I'm not sure. The equations here are all tangled up, I just..."
"No, you don't have to do anything there. Let them sort it out everything themselves. Remember, we no longer belong to that house."
"It's so weird, Dii, that this place where we were born, grew up is no longer ours. These same four walls appear so alienated that it's hard to believe that we once used to reside here. Perhaps Dadi was right when she used to say that as girls this house isn't our true home. I don't know if these feelings have a name but she was right actually. Her words did make sense now..."
"Well, remember how we both used to cringe and joke around whenever she used to say that a girl's true home is her husband's home. Just like you I too never took her this ideology seriously until a few realizations hit me hard. These feelings who talked about does exist in the crevices of every newly married woman's mind. Such river of irrational emotions of feeling left out of the world that you once were a part of. The confusion about ownership persists; what's really 'mine'? My parent's home or my husband's? Both or none of them?"
Manjiri couldn't help but second Adishri's words. Her every word was resonating with her inherent feelings. Soon she heard her sister adding,
"Don't worry. With time you too will get immune to it. Just like I got. Shreya Didi and every other lady got. You know, I shared all this with Shreya Didi when I was newly married and then she told me that she too was once in the same boat. We used to bond really well before..."
"And then I came and disturbed everything."
"No, it's not like that."
"Never mind. It's too late night now. Did all go to sleep there?"
"It's very dull out here today. More than half of the members aren't at home. Dev's out and so is Dadi and Badi Maa. Shaurya's got his night shift and even Ved is not home yet."
"Oh!"
Manjiri didn't know why but she abruptly had begun to feel regretful yet again. She drew in a long breath and then after a few exchange of words, concluded the phone talk in hurry. Before she could recline against the cushion behind her, a tiny human touched her arm.
"Hi!"
"Hey, Vidhi! Wanna climb up?"
She got up with a smile and carried her niece up to make her sit beside her.
"Is this your phone, Bua?"
Manjiri nodded as she observed Vidhi rotating the electronic device in her hand. But she was left speechless when that little girl put forward her innocent queries.
"Why is it broken? Who broke it?"
Manjiri's mind immediately transported her to that night which she was consistently regretting. The huge bang with which Shaurya had raised his hand and threw her phone against the table was still echoing in her ears. Breathing through the ache surfacing within her, she replied taking her phone back in her hand to place it below her pillow.
"It fall down."
"How?"
Vidhi probed again as she placed her head in the crook of Manjiri's arm. In no time, they both had become very fond of each other.
"Just like that. Now close your eyes. Remember we've to water the plants early in the morning. I'll do it alone if you'll not be early tomorrow."
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Mrs Suniti Mohan woke up quite early than usual. The house was empty, it seemed like nobody was residing in there. Half of them were not present at home and the remaining half were busy sleeping.
As Mrs Suniti Mohan was taking a stroll in the garden, she thought to call her daughter-in-law. She didn't get a chance to speak to her properly in last three days. She was somewhat worried for her. She had grown habitual to see Manjiri in front of her eyes since the day she brought her to Mohan Villa. And since she was out for the very first time in last several months, Mrs Suniti Mohan was literally missing her.
"Hello!"
"Good morning, Maa. How are you?"
Manjiri responded when the call got connected. The senior lady asked in a soft tone,
"I'm good, child. What about you? How's everything there?"
"It's better. Just that Taiji is slightly unwell."
"Oh! Then take care of her. What else should I say?"
The senior lady's words didn't seem concerning to Manjiri's ears. And she perfectly knew the reason why. Her mother-in-law was the one who supported Adishri all throughout when she was fighting an unspecified battle against their uncle and aunt during the property and marriage episode.
"Maa, you're unhappy with my decision, right? You're angry?"
"What are you saying, child? Can a mother get angry with her children? And you're my youngest child, I can never be angry with you."
"I'm sorry, Maa."
Manjiri didn't know why but she duly wanted to say that to her. She wanted to speak more to her mother-in-law that she was sorry for being a disappointment. She was sorry to prove out to be a wrong choice for her son. She was sorry to hurt her son. She was sorry to not able to understand and value her son's emotions. She was sorry for killing her son's happiness, peace and self-pride. Manjiri was sorry for a lot of things. She sniffed hard trying to hold back her guilt ridden sobs.
"Its not good to start crying right in the morning. Hush up! I'm neither angry nor unhappy, but just a little surprised at the turn of events and people."
Sound of a car's screeching made it's presence in the background when Manjiri heard the senior lady mutter.
"Looks like my boy's here. Did you talk to him yester night?"
"Maa, actually... I..."
"Coming!" Cutting Manjiri's say in middle, Mrs Suniti Mohan instantly spoke out before disconnecting the call. "Will talk to you later, child. He's at the door."
"Welcome back."
No sooner did Mrs Suniti Mohan opened the door and Shaurya entered, then he immediately wrapped his arms around her. Hiding his face in her shawl cloaked shoulder, he wordlessly tried to convey a lot of things to her.
"What happened, child?"
The senior lady asked tapping his back. It wasn't everyday that her son behaved like a panda. She was undoubtedly surprised.
"Nothing. Just felt like giving you a hug. Can't I?"
Shaurya replied pulling back. His mother offered him a smile.
"Of course, you can!"
Shaurya took a moment to appreciate the beauty and warmth of his mother's smile.
Why mothers are so easy? Why their love is pure and unconditional? In a word full of relationships based upon conditions and self-centredness, a mother's love is only reliable. Everything else is just bluff, deception. Self harming and illusionary. She accepts you the way you're and never complains of you not being enough. The only person who always make you feel loved no matter what.
"What is the matter? You seem a little upset with something."
In response to her words, he replied as he marched towards the stairway.
"What? No, nothing. I'm all good and just a little tired."
"Tell me if there's something. Tensed about work?"
His mother followed him on the stairs.
"There's nothing, Maa. Why are you after one thing?"
"I see, you wanted to change your car, right?"
"I don't want to change it anymore."
He replied turning the knob of his room's door. His mother was quick to walk inside before him.
"As you wish... Oh God! Was there a raid here? What have you turned your room into?"
That made Shaurya look around. His room was aptly reflecting his inner state at then. The previous day, he was in so much hurry to reach his workplace that he didn't care to spare a glance at his room. Though it was intentional. He was actually running from all the things which could remind him of that night and of course her.
He chose to ignore everything and went inside the washroom before his mother could probe him any further. Minutes later, when he exited the washroom he found his mother arranging the room.
"What to do with this girl? The saree she wore that day is still hanging here unattended. She's so unlike you."
That made Shaurya nod only. Yes, she was unlike him and perhaps that was why she disliked him.
"Now look, she's two steps ahead of her father-in-law. He too loves keeping his books, journals in his wardrobe. The things which should be in there, are aimlessly having fun outside and the ones which should be out, are lazing inside. The limit!"
He saw his mother taking out a few diaries and novels out of the wardrobe's cabinet which belonged to Manjiri. The book covers of her novels were a little controversial, that was why she used to keep them there. He knew about it. She herself never told him that, he guessed it himself.
As Suniti Mohan turned around after placing Manjiri's novels and diaries in the rack above Shaurya's desk, she saw him sprawling on the bed in an exhausted manner.
"Eat something at least and then go to sleep. Let's go downstairs. Come on."
"Bring it here, Maa."
He muttered in a low voice. However, his mother flatly refused by shaking her head in negative. He still attempted to persuade her.
"Please!"
"Miru has spoiled your this habit way too much. She only started this practice of delivering your food here and now..."
Before she could complete her say, he got up from the bed.
Why was his mother bringing her everywhere when he was least interested to think about her specially at then? When she was least concerned about him and his feelings then why shouldn't he? He too could have the liberty of being ignorant.
"Alright. I'm coming along."
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A deep audible sigh escaped from Shaurya's mouth when he entered his room, this time unaccompanied. As he paraded towards his bed, Manjiri's wired earphones greeted him. They were on the headboard of the bed. Her hairband which had a few strands of her hair unjustly tied to it's body was also marking it's presence over there.
Without thinking much, he just dumped both the things in the drawer of the night stand.
His eyes then danced around. His room was engulfed in a weird kind of silence. A silence which wasn't comforting, it was eerie. He felt alienated in his own room. Thankfully it was daytime, cause if it would have been night time, it might be harder for him.
Every spot of the room, every entity placing inside the room didn't appear like that it belonged to him, as if they always used to belong to her.
He closed his eyes momentarily, calming himself.
He had tried very hard but he just couldn't. His efforts were not enough. His love was not enough. He was not enough.
His eyes fell on her yet another belonging, it was her that same wooden claw clip which had gone with him to Chandigarh inside his jacket's pocket. Suddenly, a disgusted feeling roamed within him and he picked it up and threw it against the wall. For a moment, he didn't care if it was her favourite. She was no longer around anyway, she was gone. She herself chose to distance him from her, then why shouldn't he be regretting?
She wanted to part ways, and she eventually did that.
"I don't want us to be apart, Shaurya..."
"First you only barged into my life out of nowhere, and now, when you only made me accustomed to 'you',... your care,... your support,... your warm fellowship,... your satires,... your scolds and what not? You only are telling me to let you go. No, I'm not going to do that!"
"I too sincerely want to spend my rest of the life with you."
"I never doubted whatever you said, Shaurya..."
"At times I wonder if one day you suddenly stopped behaving or treating me the way you do now... What will I do at then?"
"I admit I'm a bit much to deal with, anf you knew that since the beginning, didn't you?... I'm not that smart like you, it takes me a while to understand and get a hold on things. But honestly now I really wish to understand you, better than anyone else in the world..."
"I swear Shaurya I neither intended nor meant to make you upset. I don't know but I'm literally feeling really very bad. Even a small change in your usual behavior made me afraid to lose the real you..."
"Cause there are a lot of things, people often tend to believe even after when they haven't seen or heard any overwhelming evidence behind them. Sometimes, our belief system isn't built up on any firm evidence, rather it is usually and purely based on the strong foundation of personal - observations and experiences... And as far as the fragility and reliability of relationships are concerned, then nobody ever learnt to swim without trusting the waves. Right?"
"Shhh! I got it, I got everything yesterday. And please don't even think for a second yet again that I don't appreciate your efforts... or you cause I really do. Undoubtedly future is uncertain, but I really wish to look forward for the days in which you are by my side."
"My hand at times might trembles in hold of yours, but it's not that I don't want you in my life, I do but you.. you make me feel things, you make my heart weirdly rush and that's too terrifying for me. If that is making any sense to you..."
"You are complaining that I'm avoiding you, but instead you're the one least responsible towards me... It was my last exam today and you too had a holiday today, but no all of a sudden you decided to attend a conference. I had planned a lot of things for today, but you just splashed the water on everything... Still, I let go of all these things and prepared the food of your choice with all my heart... But you made me and my prepared food wait for this long."
"Do not even try to distract me with all this... Leave it, you have ruined my mood to fight."
"You know, these typical scowling wife like temperament isn't suiting you at all... This is giving me an awful vibe."
"Now whether typical or atypical, the truth will always remain that I'm am the wife here. Thereby, you don't try to act one. You act like my Dr Shaurya."
"And you know, I don't want to be the woman behind your success. But a woman who will be beside you during your each daily grind, throughout your toilsome struggle and of course also in your every big or small winning to celebrate it together."
"My husband's name is Dr Shaurya Singh Mohan. He is 28 years old and is super annoying. He got too many wives but only prefers irritating his first wife. He loves to tease and torment her by flicking her forehead, time and again..."
"Sometimes there is so much to say but you don't have enough words to express it. Are words really needed to make someone realize that you want to stay with them? Can't we just hold hands and walk together through the life?"
"I agree that it takes hell lot of time for me to get a hang on things and it might be possible that our journey together would be a little difficult... But I promise I will always make sure that the grip of my hand doesn't go weak ever."
"Why should I think otherwise when I knew you would have reached me at any cost?"
"I was so certain because you had once promised me that whenever it would be dark and I would be alone, I could always find your hand tightly grabbing mine."
"Shaurya, you and happiness are directly proportional for me in this world. Trust me!"
"Shaurya, I've started getting scared of these claims of love. They sprout doubts within me..."
"I know, grief is the price we pay for love. But Shaurya, I have no more strength for such testaments of love left within me. Yes, I'm weak here. Very weak!"
"I'm glad that Dadi chose you for me."
"I appreciate you, Shaurya, and everything you do. I genuinely do!"
"Should I tell the truth, or simply lie to keep your heart? Yes, I felt bad. A lot. But then when you didn't talk to me all day, I felt worse."
"Now let's forget all these things here only, because I will not go anywhere on anyone's call, at least not without you. Now is this ok?"
"With you by my side, I'm complete. Your arms are where I want to reside. You are what I call my home, Shaurya. I really!"
"I'm going to miss you immensely. Please try to be back soon. Super soon."
"I know it's unneeded to tell you but look after yourself well. I'll earnestly wait for you so be back soon."
"Actually, I wanted to confess that I'm missing you a lot, like a lot that I end up doing everything which you used to do. Like I sleep on your side of the bed. I keep the room your way. I never fail to close the balcony's lattice door before leaving the room. I daily arrange your desk and cringe seeing every handwritten page of yours. Don't mind but your handwriting is literally awful..."
A slight smile appeared on Shaurya's face as he slipped inside the blanket. In those moments, he felt like nothing really had gone wrong. Everything was fine. With his closed eyes he could picture her face whilst speaking all those words to him.
How he wished he had a time machine so that he could get a chance live those moments again with her!
"Do you think we'll always be like this?"
"You tell me, what mood of mine do you like seeing me in?"
"Missus Shaurya once got married to a man whom she didn't like at all. If she could start acting like she is liking his presence in her life then she could even try liking his choices too. It's as simple as that, isn't it?"
"Who else will I call if not you?"
"Could you just hold me tighter?"
"I still am scared, Shaurya. But I can't get going with my day with your displeasure towards me anymore. I had enough of it now. Get done with whatever you wish to but just quit behaving this way. Only I know how I spent the night by carrying the weight of your ignorance and anger on myself."
"I haven't forgotten anything, Shaurya, nor I'm insulting our relation. Yes, this is true that I had got married upon Dii's insistence and Dadi's last wish but now am fulfilling this relation with the bottom of my heart and with full honesty. Trust me!"
"One moment it feels that I matter to you and the very moment it feels I mean nothing to you."
"You only play with my feelings and nothing else."
"Shaurya, you're day by day forgetting that I'm your wife. I can sense it."
"It's not your problem if I cry or laugh."
"It's me who is the bone of contention. So when are you leaving me?"
By now, Shaurya's eyes were opened. He was forcibly brought back to reality. He couldn't allow himself to think or remember anything further, especially the events and words of that night.
Pressing his fingers against his forehead to massage it, he pondered hard over a few things.
What a mess he had invited over for himself? Where had he went wrong?
"After everything you've been through, what a shame it would be to lose him/her because you're too terrified to find out who you actually are without him/her...................."
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Dear ones, do share your honest views on this chap and the story, as this is the only source of motivation which literally pushes me to pen down.
This can also help me in improving. So yes, eagerly waiting now.
I would really appreciate if each one of you will come and put forward your genuine reviews + expectations from me and
"JI HUZOORI".
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This is it for now. Hope you liked it. I am sorry for the mistakes.
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Love ♥️✨