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Thursday, December 22nd
I had grabbed all the warm clothes out of my closet and laid them out on my bed. I hummed to the music playing in my airpods while folding them up neatly and putting them in my suitcase. Tomorrow was the day we drove to Detroit to get on our flight to Canada.
Ethan had let me know that I would need a fancy dress for Christmas Dinner with his family, so I grabbed my white dress and hung it up on the closet door handle. I didn't think much of it, I would wrap it up in the plastic I got when I first bought it and put it on top of everything.
I had a glass of grape juice on my nightstand which was conveniently next to my closet. You can see where this is going. While I was folding one of my sweaters, my elbow rammed into the side of the nightstand causing my drink to knock onto the ground. The cup hit the ground, causing the juice to splatter all over my dress. "Shit!" I yelled. "No, no, no! Fuck!"
Brooklyn came bolting to my room due to the clank of the glass and me yelling. She flung the door right open like it weighs nothing. "What happened?!" She rushed over to me and saw my dress, "Oh no."
"Yeah, oh no!" I felt like crying. I didn't have any other dresses that fit the theme of meeting your fake boyfriend's family for Christmas dinner. "What am I gonna do?!" I frowned. I rubbed my temples while taking shallow breaths.
"I can take you out shopping for a new one," Brooklyn quickly suggested.
"Uh," I muttered. My phone that laid next to my suitcase rang, it was Ethan. I picked up the phone. "Hey," I shakily spoke.
"Hey, you alright?" He asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
"No, I just spilled grape juice all over my white dress. There's no way I can get these stains out before tomorrow." I frowned. I grabbed paper towels and began cleaning up the mess on my floor. Thank God for wooden floors.
"Well, I'm heading back over to the mall now to get my mom a gift. I can stop by and pick you up if you're good with that," he offered.
"Would you really do that?" A smile formed on my face.
"Yeah, of course. I'll be there in 5." He then hung up.
"Well?" Brooklyn sat down on the bed while staring at me.
I began collecting my things to head out. "Ethan's gonna take me to the mall to get a new dress," I said. I grabbed the dress and handed it to her, "Could you wash these stains out for me?" If anyone knew how to get a stain out, it was Brooklyn.
"Uh, sure." She took the dress from my hands. "Are you sure Ethan wants to sit there and watch you try on dresses for like 30 minutes?"
I shrugged, "Nope, but I remember him saying that we're gonna put in the work like a real couple. This is the work." Brooklyn wiggled her eyebrows at my comment. "Just get the stains out of my dress!"
Ethan was there about 10 minutes later. I sprinted to his car and made sure we got to the mall as soon as possible. "What is the likelihood of someone spilling juice on their dress a day before they have to leave with their fake boyfriend to another country to meet his parents?" He teased me.
"Shut up," I snipped. He did as I said without any protest. We got inside the mall quickly, searching for a place to go dress shopping.
"Don't forget, we have to get my mom a gift as well." He insisted. "Let's go to Dillard's. I can get her a necklace and you can get your dress." He grabbed my hand and dragged me in there.
While I looked through dresses, he looked at the necklaces nearby. I really wanted to get a dress that was either red, green, or white. Something to fit the festive mood for their Christmas dinner. I grabbed a couple different dresses that fit my budget and walked back over to Ethan. "Did you find anything?"
He smiled, picking up a gold necklace with a heart shaped lock on it. It was adorable. "You think she'll like it?"
"Yeah," I looked up at him while smiling. "I like it, which means she'll love it. Especially if it comes from her son." Him and I just stared at each other for a minute. He was right about falling in love with his eyes. It was hard to pull my gaze away from them. "Now, it's time to try on dresses." I began walking toward the fitting rooms in the back.
Ethan seemed unamused, "How long should this take?"
I looked back at him and shrugged, "At least 30 minutes... or an hour." He rolled his eyes while groaning. I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips before heading back into the dressing room.
The first dress I threw on was an olive green halter dress. I came out of the dressing room and spun around for Ethan. "Option 1," I said while looking at him.
He stared at me for a minute, his eyes trailing down my body slowly. "Nah," he scrunched his face.
I let out a sigh and went back into the dressing room to try on the next option which was an ivory white A-line skirt dress. I came back out and did the same thing as before. "Option 2," I placed my hands on my hips and smiled.
He did the same thing, examining my dress before meeting my eyes again. "You look like a flower girl," he said with a smug smirk.
I huffed and stormed back into the dressing room. I was on my final choice, a maroon silk bodycon dress. I slipped it on, it felt a bit snug on my body. It really brought out my figure, I wasn't sure if this was appropriate for dinner. This was one of the only dresses that fit my budget though, so it was either this or the halter. I walked out of the fitting room and spotted Ethan invested in his phone clearly bored out of his mind. I cleared my throat to get his attention, "Option 3."
He looked up from the screen and stared at me with a new expression. His eyes slowly trailed down my body, very slow. I watched as he did this, he now seemed completely distracted. "Hello? Earth to Ethan?" I snapped my fingers.
He snapped out of whatever trance the dress had put him in and he looked me in the eye. "Uh, yeah. That's the one. Really brings out your eyes," he stammered, his cheeks growing incredibly red.
I smiled softly, "Good." I turned around to walk back to the room. I stopped for a moment before I got in there and poked my head from the door frame, "Rule 2 by the way." He rolled his eyes and looked back down at his phone, I just shut the door while grinning to myself.
It didn't matter how many times he broke rule 2 at this point because you can have endless warnings. I broke rule 1, and you only get 1 warning. Rule 2 didn't even bother me anymore, I actually hoped he broke it more often just so this relationship felt more real.
The more I thought about it, it was the 22nd. There was only a little over a week left until the month was over. Ethan and I were almost over. We needed to discuss our fake break up soon. It went by so fast, I wanted to set the clock back and cherish every moment we had together. Now the moments he and I spent together were treasured because as soon as January hit, we were over.
I took the dress off and changed back into my other clothes. I walked out of the fitting room, leaving the other two dress options in there, and met Ethan back out in the sitting area. "You ready to check out?" He asked, glancing up from his phone.
"Yeah," I said while looking down at my feet.
"Hey, are you alright?" He asked as he stood up.
I met his eyes and smiled weakly. "Yeah, I'm fine." He pressed his lips together in a tight smile, he obviously didn't believe me. I honestly didn't believe myself either. We went to check out our stuff before heading home.
🏒🥅
When I got back to the house, I shut the door and slammed my back against it. I could feel the tears sting my eyes as the lump in my throat grew unbearable. A sob escaped out of me which led me to break down.
"Esme?" Brooklyn called from the kitchen. I heard her footsteps approach me, "Esme! Are you okay?" She asked, placing her hand on my shoulder. I shook my head, my face scrunching up before I dropped the shopping bag in my hand and hugged her tightly. "Let's get you some water and calm you down so you can talk to me." She led me to the couch and sat me down, she ran off to the kitchen and brought me a glass of water.
I took a couple deep breaths and a few sips of water until I calmed down to where I could talk. "Now, can you tell me what's wrong?" Brooklyn asked, her body facing me as she sat with her legs crossed on the couch.
"I... uh," I tapped the glass with my index finger while trying to get the words out. I placed the cup down and wiped a few tears off my cheek. "I accidentally fell in love with Ethan... and we only have a week left to keep this act up until we fake break up." I bowed my head as my shoulders slumped.
Brooklyn let out a long sigh, "What's so wrong with actually pursuing things with Ethan? Why are you scared to open back up?"
I could feel the tears build back up as I explained, "Because what Ethan and I have feels real, and the last time things felt real was with Cynthia and I... then she fell out of love after 2 years. I don't want my heart to break like that again." I looked up at her, the tears blurring my vision.
"Oh, Esme..." Brooklyn frowned, pulling me into a tight hug. I buried my head in her shoulder and cried while she embraced me. She didn't say anything, she just let me cry. This is what I needed, a good cry without any sympathy. This anger, hate, love, sadness, and fear has been built up for far too long. It was now time to let it all go. But what was I supposed to do with him? Let him go? I wasn't too sure, but all I know is that it won't be as easy as I thought it would.
Brooklyn gave me melatonin so I could fall asleep that night because we needed to get up early in the morning. It took a while for the pill to settle in, but when it did, I knocked out.