Kylo jolted back in this strange dimension, turning his head to come face to face with his uncle. He looked at the other Luke, kneeling by R2-D2 and weeping, then back to the version that was side-eyeing him with a small smile on his lips.
He blinked. "Is this real? Are you real?"
"Let me check." Luke looked down at his body, patting his chest and stomach. Then came a dramatic sigh. "Yep, I'm real. Real old, unfortunately," he muttered, glancing around the vision. "Definitely too old for astral projection. Alas, here I am."
"But, but..." Kylo vigorously shook his head. "I, I thought only—"
"You thought only dark Force-users had the power to do this?" he asked, raising his brows at him. When Kylo nodded, Luke rolled his eyes. "Oh, Nephew. You might be powerful, but you still have so much to learn. If only there was a place for people like us to learn things..." he trailed off, pointedly turning his head toward the destructive scene in front of them. The reflection of the flames danced in his eyes, his lips turning up into a flippant smirk. "Bummer."
"Enough. I don't want to be here, and I don't want you here," Kylo erupted, spit flying from his mouth as he closed in on Luke. "All of this was you, wasn't it? You felt me reaching for guidance and saw an opportunity to make me suffer, so you took it. Old habits die hard, don't they, Uncle?"
"No, Ben. Your grandfather took you on this journey, and you should thank him for it. If Palpatine had answered your summons, who knows what type of evil you would have unleashed."
"I won't thank grandfather, not after he disregarded my attempts to connect with him when I needed him the most." Dark, flinty eyes shot up and down Luke's thin form. "But now I know what you did. I know everything."
"Oh?" Cocking a brow, Luke stepped around Kylo. He placed his hands behind his back, and his shoulders slumped down into a lazy stance as he watched the Jedi Temple burn.
The Supreme Leader glared at the back of his head. "Why did you do it? Why did you ruin our lives?"
As Luke watched the apparition of himself and R2-D2 decay into dark matter and cinders, he gave a distracted mutter. "So it's true. You do know everything."
"I know that you stole everything from me!" Kylo yelled, his intensity matching the heat of the blazing chimera. "There was somebody out there that was made for me, somebody that could understand me, this darkness, and you took her away from me!"
"I didn't have a choice," Luke shot back, spinning around to meet his nephew's rancid glare. "I took one look into her head and it was beyond what I could've ever imagined. She would bring destruction and pain and death and the end of everything I love because of what she would become. And worst of all, I saw you," he emphasized, gesturing toward Kylo with hopelessness, eyes rimmed red and crazed, "Ben, my only nephew, my sister's baby boy, my best friend's proudest accomplishment standing beside her throne, watching her adoringly as the galaxy bled out and the darkness between you festered into a sick, damning disease. I siphoned her powers out of pure instinct to protect both of you."
Kylo shook his head in disgust. "Look at you, hiding behind your sanctimonious Jedi rhetoric to justify what you did. Pathetic. You self-fulfilled your prophecy of pain and death and destruction by stealing the Force from her. She had a chance at a home, a life with people that understood her, and you stole that from her. You stole that from us."
"You think I don't know that?" he said, the wind howling as it carried hot, bitter rain above them, doing little to extinguish the raging fire. "I'm sorry, Ben. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn't."
"I don't want your apologies. I want what belongs to her," Kylo said menacingly, taking a powerful step closer and extending his hand. "And now you will give it to me."
At the Supreme Leader's demand, Luke's defeated posture and expression dissolved into stony defiance. "I can't do that. I won't. I'm keeping it safe until she comes to me herself."
"She will never come to you," Kylo flared, rigidly throwing his arm down, clenching his hands into fists by his side. "She will never go to Exegol to fight against me. She hates you."
The Jedi raised his voice over the intensifying storm. "I'm not on Exegol. Neither is your mother. She tried to stop the others, but it was too late. The redheaded string bean gave the trigger-happy morons of the Resistance empty promises about power, glory, and credits, and they caved."
"Fine," he spat, nostrils flaring and eyes wild. "Tell me where you are and face me in person, coward." Luke said nothing, his feeble form outlined by the harsh glow of the smoldering landscape behind him. Kylo stomped a foot into the ground, yelling. "TELL ME!"
"The end is coming," is all the old man said, a haunting ghost of a smile on his lips. "Do you feel it? Do you remember what I told you about these violent delights, all those years ago?"
"NO!" Kylo shouted, lunging forward to grab the last Jedi. But it was too late. With a wink, Luke disappeared before him as the astral plane disconnected them, the world fading to black. The Supreme Leader collapsed on the cold, shiny floor of his quarters aboard the Steadfast, dry heaving on his palms and knees to try and expel the taste of his vision from his mouth. But the dirt, ash, and smoke still clung to him. He could still feel the heat from the fire, the proximity of Skywalker, and, worst of all, he could feel the light. The light side of the Force was all around him, mixing chaotically with the darkness he had accepted so long ago. It was painful, prominent, and infuriating. It left him with no other choice. The Supreme Leader pushed himself off the floor and went straight to his datapad.
Without waiting for a response, he threw his device down and rushed to get dressed. His rage fueled him forward as he slipped on his battle attire, put on his helmet, and grabbed his lightsaber. He was just about to exit his chambers when he had to stop. He sensed a familiar Force signature. Light, but not Luke. It was his mother's.
"Your quarters are so tidy. What happened to you?"
"No," he whispered, turning around to see Leia Organa hovering by his kitchen table. "No."
Hands on her hips, she raised a brow. "Hello to you, too."
Kylo gawked at her from under his mask, lips parting in astonishment as he tried to process that his mother was here. She looked much different than he remembered. Her hair was almost entirely gray, with a face full of prominent aging lines, and she looked frail in her Resistance garb. But despite the changes in her appearance, something was still very distinct about her—the calm, composed sense of royalty she carried with her from her youth. The potency of it hit Kylo in the fucking face.
"How. Why?"
She gestured around his room. "Your Force signature found me, Son. I simply answered."
"No, no, I was...I was reaching out to Palpatine. Not you."
"Palpatine?" she asked, nose scrunching in disapproval. "Good heavens. Why on Naboo would you ever do that?"
"I had no choice," Kylo said through gritted teeth, heart palpitations screaming in his chest. "Grandfather has only answered my outreach once. I needed immediate counsel."
"Don't take it personally. He ignores my calls too, the bastard," she muttered, swatting a dismissive hand. With a sigh, she turned to the table and sat down on the stool. She grimaced. "What is this thing made of, tempersteel?" she asked, looking down to adjust her angle on the chair. "The cell at Jabba's Palace was more comfortable than this."
Kylo tried to hide his shaking hands. "Mother, you need to leave."
She stopped fussing with the stool and peered at his mask. Dark brown eyes bored into him, her lips shaped into a small frown. "You know how this works. The Force won't let us part until it feels right. So we might as well have a little chat."
He studied her for a moment, unmoving except for the heavy rise and fall of his chest. She was calm on the exterior, though Kylo sensed her desperation to speak with him. But after being taken down memory lane by the Force, the last thing Kylo wanted to do was converse with the so-called maternal figure that ignored him for half his childhood. "Fine." He spun around, approached his doors, and slammed his knuckles into the controls. "If you don't leave, I will."
"I have a letter for you. It's from the girl," Leia called out, bringing him to an immediate halt. "Something tells me you will want to read it."
Kylo's heart stuttered, his robes snapping at his ankles as he spun around. "Is this some type of sick joke?"
"Nope," Leia said, stuffing a hand in her vest pocket. Keeping her eyes on his mask, she slid the letter across the table. "It's addressed to you."
Kylo didn't move. "How do I know that whatever is in that letter is actually from her?"
"As I said, it's addressed to you," she said, tapping the envelope. She looked down at it and pursed her lips. "Ah, well, actually, it's addressed to Jabba, whatever the kriff that means, but Zeven insisted it's for you."
Kylo's stomach dropped. It really is from her, he thought, dumbfounded, before crossing the room in a few quick strides. He hovered at the other end of the table and looked down at the letter. "She gave this to you?"
"No, she is no longer here. She got it to Zeven, but she won't tell me how or when..." she trailed off, a frown tugging at her mouth. "It seems I have lost her trust, too. All I know is your girl wanted to communicate with you but didn't know how to without revealing her location."
Kylo snatched the letter up as his mother continued to talk, turning his back to her as he stepped away from the table. He didn't hear a single word she said; he was too focused on the letter in his hands, neatly tucked away into an envelope with the name JABBA written on it. Holding his breath, he ripped it open, unfolded the paper, and let the envelope fall to the floor.
Kylo couldn't believe his eyes, blinking rapidly as he had to remind himself to breathe. Frantically starting from the top, he reread it again and again, devouring each word as fast as he could. She loved him. She really did. And she still wanted him. His heart soared, his mind racing with what this meant. How long will she take? When she returns, will she be my Empress? Will she work with the First Order? Will she seek out her powers from Luke?
Behind him, Leia spoke up. "Well, what did she say?"
Kylo tensed, reality catching up with him as his fucking mother snagged his attention. Carefully, he folded the letter up and tucked it beneath his belt. "Nothing."
Leia frowned. "When you see her next, could you tell her I'm sorry? I made some mistakes I won't ever forgive myself for."
"Good. You shouldn't forgive yourself for ruining a child's life."
"Please, I wanted to adopt her, but Luke insisted you two stay apart. Believe me, I would do anything to go back in—"
"I'm not talking about that," he retorted, his merciless tone resounding through his mask. "I'm referring to how you drained her of her Force powers, robbing her of a life that belonged to her."
Leia jolted her head in surprise. "I didn't do that to her. Luke did. And he didn't even tell me of her powers until a decade later, right after you turned and before he went into exile. That same day, I started my search for her. But as you know, she's a hard girl to find. That's why I insisted that Luke put the beacon inside of her when we did find her. Not to drive you crazy, not to hurt her. To make things right," she stressed, pushing herself off the stool and clasping her hands together. "Please, I need her to know that I feel nothing but love for her. Please tell her that."
"Tell her yourself," came his distant, cool response as he turned to approach the exit. He had no interest in her feeble justifications for what she did. "Goodbye, Mother."
"Wait, Ben—"
"Don't you dare call me that," he seethed, whipping his head around to look at her. She didn't cower at his outburst, even though his anger flooded the tether between their Force connection.
It didn't seem to faze her one bit. Leaning against the table, she spoke with infuriating surety. "Why not?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest. "That is the name I gave my son."
"Your son," he hissed, taking menacing steps toward her, "is gone."
She lifted her chin at him. "My son is right here, hiding under that ridiculous mask."
"I haven't been your son since the day you gave up on me. Since the day you sent me away, and you know that."
Pain flashed across her face, the lump in her throat protruding as she swallowed. "You think I gave up on you? That's truly what you think?"
"No. That's what I know."
"I didn't give up on you," came her small, wounded voice. She pushed herself off the table to approach him. "I was trying to do what was best for you. That's all I have ever wanted."
Kylo gave her a tight, harsh laugh. "Well, you failed."
"I know. And for that, I am so, so sorry."
The Supreme Leader's harsh voice emphasized his hostile stance. "I'm sure you are."
"Look, can we start over, please? I don't want to fight. I just want to look you in the eyes and apologize." Leia lifted a trembling hand to point at his helmet. "Please."
Stepping into the kitchen, Kylo didn't hesitate to lift his hands to his mask. He had every intention of looking her in the eye and telling her that he didn't forgive her. He gripped the sides and pulled it off, shaking his hair back as he set the heavy piece of iron on the table. Then, he pivoted to face his mother, making direct eye contact with her for the first time in almost ten years.
He opened his mouth to speak, but the words died in his throat. There was a shift between them. Something significant, something from the Force. It melted his anger and resentment, stripping him bare to reveal what truly lay between them—pain. It was too overpowering to contain, spilling out of him and bleeding into the room, filling the space between him and his mother.
Leia moved closer as she started to cry, reaching for him. "I am so, so sorry."
Kylo stepped back. "I was so young," he croaked, swallowing the ache in his throat. "Snoke, he..."
"I know, I know, and I am sorry," Leia wept, swooping in to grab his hands. "For being absent when you were younger and for not taking the voices in your head seriously. I should have listened to you, and most importantly, I should have never sent you away to stay with Luke. I am so, so sorry. Will you ever forgive me?"
With his hands stiffly placed in hers, a single tear rolled down his cheek. His voice was thick, coated with strained emotion. "Even if I did, it doesn't matter. It's too late to change anything. I won't accept the light."
Leia vehemently shook her head. "I'm not asking you to. I know your aspirations are greater than just the light or dark side. You want everything. And though I don't agree with your affiliation, I'm proud of you. The things you have done since defeating Snoke are commendable." She squeezed his hands. "You are a strong leader, Kylo Ren."
Still rigid as all hell, Kylo's guarded eyes flashed her up and down. "Then why are you here?"
"To tell you that your grandfather is right. You must let the girl go."
"No," he said coldly, breaking his hands away from hers. "You are asking me to do the unspeakable. I will not disregard the dyad. We are meant to be together."
"I meant you must let her go and allow her to find her way back to you," Leia clarified, reaching for his hands again. "Snoke taught you that possession equates to love. It does not. And while Luke saw the two of you bring death and destruction to the galaxy, I didn't. The last time I saw her, all I felt was love and light. Shadows, yes, but in that darkness, I saw you by her side, your love for one another burning brighter than a million stars. A love so strong, so absolute, it overcame all evil. It thrived."
Kylo's chest ached, and he pulled a deep, shaky breath through his lips. He wanted to believe her. He did. But he was too broken to deserve a love so solid. "What do you know about love?"
Leia smiled, the lines around her eyes creasing. It punched him in the gut at how beautiful she looked. As Kylo processed this observation, the energy transformed in the room again, sending chills down his back as it settled into every single bone in his body. But that's not what cracked him. It was the softness of her words that did.
"Love is when you look into somebody's eyes and know with every fiber of your being that you would give your life for theirs," she said, bringing a shaky hand up to caress his face. "And that, Son, is why I'm really here today."
As they considered one another in stillness, Kylo felt his bottom lip tremble. He tried to shut it out. He did. The moment she got here, he tucked away his love and longing and everything he had ever felt toward his mother. But his cheek vibrated and hummed beneath her hand from the intensity of their shared bond, so overpowering that he started to get lightheaded.
He knew now, he could no longer suppress it. That crack split wide open, and a truth he had denied for so long rushed in to fill the broken parts of him. She loved him. She was sorry. Deep down, he felt the same way. And as the loud silence between them escalated, understanding tumbled down atop him in a crushing reality: his mother was using all of her energy to astral project to speak to him one last time.
The cost of their time together was her life.
"Mom, I..." Tongue coated in lead, Kylo couldn't finish telling her that he loved her, too.
Leia gave him a knowing look. "I know."
He latched onto her arms, a strangled sob tearing from his lips. "You're, you're dying. I feel it."
"Don't be afraid," she soothed, gripping him back. "I'm just happy I got to see my baby boy one last time."
Kylo held her tighter, shaking his head back and forth. "But I, I fucked up mom, I fucked up everything. I want to see you in person. Please, tell me it's not too late. Please tell me I can come to you."
"I will see you again, Ben," she said, a smile full of grief painted on her lips. "Just not in the Living World."
Hot tears pressed behind his eyelids. His head hurt from the pressure, and he struggled to take a deep breath. He was panicking. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. "Please, don't leave. I don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to make things right. I...I need you."
"You don't need me. Not when you have this," Leia promised, lifting one of his hands to place it on his sternum, intertwining her fingers with his. "You have a good heart. Let it guide you. And when she's ready, you'll have an even better woman by your side. The two of you will make me proud. I know you will."
Kylo bit back a sob, shakily raising his other hand to cover his mother's. He held it so tightly, committing the feeling of her paper-soft skin to his memory. Tear-filled eyes darted across her face, taking note of every new line of her matured skin. Even in old age, her beauty shined true, and a new wave of grief hit the Supreme Leader when he realized it was the last time he would ever see her. He pulled her in for an embrace, holding onto her like his life depended on it.
"I am sorry for what I've done. For what I did to dad. I'm so sorry. Please, tell him that."
"Oh, honey, he already knows," she breathed, her voice cracking as she wrapped her arms around his torso, resting her cheek against his chest. She held onto him with an intense ferocity. "He loves you so, so much."
Kylo wanted to hold onto her forever, but her body began to lose its shape against him. "Mom, wait—"
"It's time for me to go home," she whispered, pulling away to make eye contact. With tears falling down her fading face, she reached up to touch his cheek. "I have served my final purpose."
Electricity shot through him at her dying touch, just a whisper of a caress that was no longer there. But the Supreme Leader could still feel her. Her light, her warmth, her power. He sucked it down like a dying man, his voice strained with sorrow. "Goodbye, Mom."
"Goodbye, Son. May the Force be with you," she said, the projection of her body slipping away. Within seconds, she disappeared altogether, leaving only her love and light behind as her last word lingered in the air. "Always."
As Leia took her final breath, the air left Kylo's lungs. He stumbled back, colliding with the kitchen table. He hunched forward, placing his forearms on the surface to steady himself and plant his head against the cool veneer, fighting off the sudden wave of nausea that overcame him. After several steadying breaths, he collapsed into a chair, pivoting his head to stare sightlessly at the wall. A patch of condensation pooled by his mouth with each ragged exhale, the severity of losing his mother tearing through the son of General Organa like a fucking TIE fighter.
Prior to seeing her, Kylo had managed to stave off his feelings for so long, only letting the resentment and disappointment consume him and fuel his rage. He wanted it that way. But now? His mother told him everything he always needed to hear from her, carving out a small space inside of him that allowed him to hold something else besides hate. Forgiveness. Empathy. Love.
Not for everyone—no. But for those that loved him? Those that he loved? His mother was right. He had to let Kitten go, and then when she was ready, she would come to him. It killed him, but he knew it was what he had to do. Slowly dragging his face off the tabletop, he sat up and looked around his quarters. It was still buzzing with his mother's light, but it didn't feel threatening or assuming. It felt easier to breathe, somehow, like she took the crushing pressure off his shoulders with her when she left.
Ding. His datapad buzzed in his pocket, and with sluggish movements, Kylo reached for it to view his commcenter.
He looked at the message for a long time, then slid a finger up to read the text before that. He had planned on flying to the Sith planet against his better judgment, but that was before he had gotten the clarity he needed. Now he understood he couldn't act rashly. He couldn't let his rage make that decision, knowing full well that his enemies would have the advantage. He had to be smart about it. Intentional with his choices. He couldn't let his anger risk his life and, more importantly, his chance to see Kitten again.
Standing up, the Supreme Leader walked right past his helmet and through his front doors, sending a quick message to his knights.