*Florentine*
I knew I had scared Max, but I hadn't been able to tell him that everything was fine now. It wasn't. That's just not how life went.
Of course I was incredibly happy that he had told me that he loved me and I had been able to see that he meant it, but that didn't make me forget what had happened all the time before.
I loved him and I was willing to work on our relationship if he was too.
Life just wasn't all rosy and easy all the time. And love wasn't either.
But it felt damn good to lie next to him in bed. He had his arms wrapped tightly around me and was still asleep. The first rays of sunlight were shining through the curtains. I was about to snuggle closer to him when I heard a crackle in the house.
Jimmy and Sassy were lying on the carpet in front of my closet.
The cat lady lifted her head and turned her ear. So she had heard it, too. I hadn't imagined it.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I tried to slide out of bed, but was immediately pulled back by Max "Five more minutes." he grumbled.
"There's someone in the house.", my voice trembled.
Max was awake in an instant. He sat up straight, his eyes wide. He listened. Another crack, there were definitely footsteps. I could see his chest start to rise and fall faster.
"You call the police. I'll take care of him." he growled, getting up from the bed. I slid right up behind him and grabbed his hand.
He turned to me and I immediately started shaking my head violently "Please. He's dangerous. I... Please don't go down there. We'll lock ourselves in here and wait for the police and...", I gasped.
"I'm certainly not going to let someone break into our house, multiple times and then do nothing about it," his voice was dark "This is our house. And I will defend it.", he withdrew his hand from me.
"No, no Max, please.", I sneaked after him and grabbed his hand again.
"Call the police. Stay in the bedroom and close the door.", he said without turning to me "I'll handle it.".
"Max, please.", I heard footsteps again, then a loud thump downstairs.
"Fuck.", Max growled, tearing away from me and running.
I ran back to the bedroom, grabbed my cell phone, then called the police as I ran. I hadn't made it all the way down the stairs when I heard a loud "Fuck!", and then moans of pain. It came from Max and my heart slipped into my pants.
I dropped the phone and skidded and the corner by the stairs and then shot into the kitchen.
Max was sitting on the floor, the chairs overturned.
"Maxie!", I gasped, crouching down in front of him.
"Motherfucker had pepper spray." he growled, keeping his eyes closed, his hand groping for me "Fuck sorry darling, I just should have been more careful. I...", I could see what thought was running through his head.
He was scared. But less because someone had been in our house and more because of the fact that he was worried I might leave.
"Max, this isn't your fault. You shouldn't have gone down there at all. That was totally dangerous and..."
"I'm trying to protect you."
"You are. You don't have to put yourself in danger to do that. Okay? We're lucky it was just pepper spray and not something else."
"I still failed, though," his voice sounded strange at that.
"You didn't fail. Max, it's all good. But our security system doesn't seem to be working. But I'll take care of it, and I'll call an ambulance now to have them look at your eyes, Love.", he squeezed my hand and took a deep breath.
Half an hour later the police were gone again. Max had had his eyes flushed out and was now lying on the sofa with a cold pack on his face, his head in my lap. I had already called security and was now waiting for them to call me back. Lost in thought, I stroked Max's hair.
This quiet moment was just beautiful.
No argument. No sex. Just him and me.
No matter how shitty the circumstances were. I finally had a moment just him and I had him all to myself.
He stroked his fingers down my leg, gently and quietly.
"Can I ask you something?" he whispered.
He almost sounded a little nervous.
"Anything," I replied, running my fingers over his scalp.
"I was lying awake last night thinking about what I...I mean I need help. Professional help to work through some stuff. Would you come with me to therapy? At least the first time?"
"Of course!"
"Really? I mean... it's like..."
"Max, getting help is never wrong. And it's okay that it scares you. I'm sure things will come up that you don't want to come up, but that's okay. I think it's great that you want to deal with it. I'll be there, of course. And I'll always be there to talk. I'm not going to leave you alone with this."
"Thank you." he whispered, digging his fingers into my thigh "I know I never would have done this if you hadn't put the gun to my head. But it's urgent."
"Whenever you're ready," I smiled.
He really meant it. He hadn't just said yesterday that he wanted to do something. He was really ready to do it, too. The fact that he wanted to seek help on his own showed me a lot. I could imagine how much overcoming that had cost him.
"I love you Flori." he whispered.
"I love you Maxie.", I replied.
He sat up so jerkily that I was almost startled. He put the cold pack aside and took my face in his unaccustomed cold hands. "I'm afraid of what you're doing to me," he murmured, "Because I'm afraid you'll leave. I'm afraid of losing this again. I'm afraid I'll forget this feeling and it'll all be over again. I'm fucking scared of you because you got me into something I never wanted to get into and I love it. I love knowing that you're here when I come. And the way you look at me. The fact that you still stand up to me and are honest. It feels so much more serious than anything before. Not just because we're married. But because...", I could see he was searching for words and couldn't find them.
He put my hand on his chest again. I could feel his heart beating "It's because you're doing this. Do you understand? You make my heart feel like this, like...I don't know a word for it. Just like that. That's what you do and I love that you do that. That you make me feel that way. But it scares me. I don't know if it makes sense."
"A lot of sense, actually," I nodded as he dropped his forehead against mine "Believe me, I don't want this to end. But I'm also afraid you'll break my heart again. I'm afraid you'll..."
"Never again. I promise you. Because if I break your heart, I'll break my own. Because it's yours." he swallowed "Ok, I heard myself how cheesy that sounded. But I mean it. You're so important to me.", he pulled me to him.
"Very cheesy.", I confirmed laughing, but then kissed him gently "But also very sweet."
"No one's ever called me sweet before. I don't know if I like it." he laughed, leaning against the sofa and then pulling me onto his lap.
"You're very sweet Maxie.", I purred and took his face in my hands "Very sweet.", I kissed him, a little more passionately this time.
"Ok. Say it again.", he growled when I broke the kiss.
"Very sweet, Maxie.", I kissed him.
"Just for you, darling."
"Only for me.", my heart raced at that sentence.
"Just for you.", he confirmed and this time he kissed me "All just for you.", his eyes say up to me and my heart slipped "You could ask me for anything. I would do it."
"Don't say that. I don't want you doing things for me that you don't want to do," I stroked his hair "I want you to tell me when you don't want something."
He nudged my nose with his nose "Don't worry about it, I'll tell you." he kissed the tip of my nose "But a little out of my comfort zone won't hurt. And if you want something, tell me.".
I nodded in agreement, wrapping my arms around his neck and sinking against him. He just pulled me against him. I could feel his heart beating, feel his breathing calm down. His arms slid down my back. I could feel him falling asleep and I could have been asleep right then too, but my phone vibrated.
I carefully slid off Max's lap and then off the sofa. I reached for my cell phone and took the call from the security company.
"Madame Verstappen?" it still felt weird to be called that.
"Yes?", I answered, my heart starting to beat faster.
"Her security system was disabled this morning with your code. Whoever was in the house knew the code. I'm sending someone out to change the code. And I urge you to give your employees individual codes. At least then they could check if one of them..."
"I trust those two! But maybe, I should.", I nodded and settled down at the kitchen table.
"Good decision madame. I'll send the colleague over to you around noon."
"Merci.", I let my head fall forward.
I had just hung up when my cell phone vibrated again. I immediately answered the call from my older sister, Juliet.
"Hey Juliet.", I puffed tiredly.
"Are you okay?" she gasped, her voice sounding strained.
"Yeah. But we had a visitor this morning."
"A burglar?"
"Yes. Max got pepper sprayed."
"But otherwise you guys are okay?"
"Yeah. Why? Why do you sound so tense?"
"Someone was with me, too. Another small fire, but nothing bad. But Clara and Marius... The burglars were in the bedrooms. They didn't do anything, but they left a threat. They had notes with them it said "We'll be back", I felt a shiver run down my spine.
"Creepy.", I muttered and felt a hand on the back of my neck.
I winced, but immediately recognized Max's apologetic face. He lifted me from my chair and sat me on his lap, his hand sliding over my back as I continued to talk to my sister.
"It really scares me," I muttered.
"Yeah, me too." replied Juliet "I'm scared of what's to come."
I nodded "Yeah. And I'd just like to know who has such hatred for all of us."
"I'd like to know that, too. Marius seems to suspect something, but he wants to talk to a few people first," she said, taking a deep breath.
"I hope this haunting will end soon."
"Yeah, I hope so too. Stay safe, okay?"
"You too Juliet." then I ended the call and slumped against Max.
"What's going on?"
"At Marius and Clara's they were in the bedroom this morning. Juliet's had another fire," I muttered, burying my face against his shoulder.
"You're coming with me to Austria!" he said, I could feel your breath quickening.
"No. I'm afraid they'll hurt the horses if I'm not there."
"Do you really think I'm going to leave you here alone? If something happens to you and I'm not there..."
"Nothing will happen. But maybe we'll get a baseball bat and pepper spray for me?"
"I really don't feel good about leaving you here alone. Not even with a baseball bat and pepper spray." he pulled my face towards him "I'll make sure you're safe." he promised and kissed my forehead "Let me make some calls and then we'll get them a baseball bat and pepper spray.".
I wrapped my arms around him again and let his warmth wash over me. I snuggled closer and closer to him. Yesterday morning I had been thinking about divorce, today I just wanted him to never let me go.
I gulped at the thought, and pressed my face into the crook of his neck.
I understood exactly what feeling Max meant, because I felt it the same way. I felt how fast my heart was beating and how much I wanted to be with him and how much my heart was screaming for him. I really loved him and if he was as serious as he told you all along, then we really had a chance. The chance for a happy ending.