𝟙𝟛|ℍ𝕦𝕣𝕥
With my Dad coming into town next weekend, I'm trying to get all of the 'bad girl' addictions out of the way. I skipped school twice this week with Willow and smoked up the last of my cigarettes. I'll get more, but while he's here, I'm going to lay low.
My father is much more observant than my mother, who is too focused on her work to analyze the small details. But when my Dad is home from football, he spends every second of time with us. I'm not complaining, of course, but the things that I normally get away with won't be possible when he's here. I have to become the little saint they think I am.
Plus, if what Everett says is true about our Dad possibly retiring, how am I going to swing it? How am I going to dress the way I want if he's going to insist on driving me to school? How am I supposed to fuck Zane's brains out if my Dad will be watching the clock, waiting until I get home from school? I could lie and make up excuses, but he'll see right through them. He used to be a troubled teenager. If anyone would figure my facade out, it would be him.
So, naturally, I'm lying on top of Zane's bed to try and get as many orgasms as I can before we'll have to take a break for a few days. After his speech the other day, I know I should have told him to get lost and to dump his ass, but if I'm being honest with myself, I'm not sure I want to end things between us. Not yet, anyway. The main reason being that I can't have sex anymore without thinking of a certain boy who isn't Zane. He's a boy who is the complete opposite of Zane, actually.
But if I were to jump into this with someone else, and if I still had that certain boy on my mind, I'd feel even worse. At least in this situation, I know there are no feelings attached from Zane's end. It's purely pleasure, so for now, I'm sticking to this arrangement.
"You're so fucking hot," Zane says, panting heavily. He puts both arms behind his head as we try to get our breathing under control, but I'm still in guilty mode about thinking of another guy. I can't allow myself to feel the relaxation yet. "I'm the luckiest guy in school."
I prop my head up on my elbow to stare down at him. "You're just now figuring this out?"
He shrugs. "Nah, I've known it for a while, but today just made it more prominent. Some guys were talking about you in the locker room during gym class. Gross fantasies and such, you know, the obvious, but your friend almost took them both out."
"Mason?" I ask. He told me he couldn't study together today after school, but I thought it was because of debate club or something, not because of this. "What do you mean he took them out?"
"He tackled both of them at once." He laughs as the memories unravel in his head. "I didn't think Mason had a fighting bone in his body, but he got a few good punches in before Palmer and Jamie got over their shock and fought back."
In seconds, a hard ball forms in the pit of my stomach. Jamie and Palmer are two of the biggest guys on the wrestling team. What in the hell was Mason thinking? And why is the thought of him coming to my defense turning me the hell on?
"Is he okay?" I ask quietly. My thumbs are playing with the corner of his sheets as Zane's gaze lingers on mine.
"Do you want him to be?"
"He's my friend. Of course, I want him to be."
Zane rises from the bed and begins to put his clothes back on, shaking his head. "Friends don't tackle other people like that for each other. The look on his face was primal, Izzy. I'm not an idiot. I know how to read people better than you think."
Now I start to become angry. "So what if he has feelings for me, Zane? If I'm not mistaken, this agreement between us allows us to flirt with whomever we want. If I choose Mason, it's none of your business."
"It is if you're fucking us both," he sneers. He's about to add more, but his phone goes off from the pocket of his jeans on the floor. When he finally grabs it, he brings it to his ear and snaps, "What?"
I'm holding his sheets up to cover my naked body, tears pricking the backs of my eyes. I've never felt like this after sex before. It's never bothered me that I'm being used, but right now...I want to crawl out of his bed and never return.
"Yeah, I've got it. I'll bring it out to you. Just stay in your car." He shoves his phone back into his pocket and pulls out a briefcase from underneath his bed. I watch with curiosity as he grabs a small plastic baggie and slips it into his pocket. When his eyes meet mine, they immediately soften. "Why are you crying, Iz?"
I didn't even realize I was, but now I feel the wet droplets trailing down my cheeks. Embarrassed, I swipe them off and avert my gaze over his shoulder. "I'm not fucking you both. If I wanted to fuck Mason, I'd end things with you before I did. It's not going to work between us. He wants something serious, and I'm..." I blink away more tears when Zane gives me a lazy grin.
"We're one and the same, baby. We're not meant for one person. Deep down, you and I both know that. Mason's a good kid, but he wouldn't know how to handle a girl like you."
A girl like you.
What is that supposed to mean?
"Just stay here," he says as he finishes buttoning his jeans. "I've gotta run outside real quick and—"
My eyes fall to his pocket and that baggie he slipped inside. "And what?"
"It's none of your business. Just wait here like I said."
Rising from the bed, I begin to slide my clothes back on and roll my eyes. I'm not going to be controlled by a boy. I never will. "No need. I'll just slip out the back gate. There's something I have to do, anyways."
He can tell I'm annoyed, but he doesn't try to do anything that will fix my mood. Instead, he turns for the door until I call his name. "What?" he asks, irritated.
"Did you say anything to Jamie and Palmer? You know, to get them to stop talking about me?"
He laughs. "Why, baby? You're fine as hell. I love hearing what men want to do to you that I'm already doing. I'm proud of it, actually."
When he closes the door to leave me alone in his room, I start to get the feeling that if I wasn't this badass, if I was just Izzy and wasn't popular and cute, he'd want absolutely nothing to do with me.
***
I don't know why I showed up at Mason's house. Now that I'm standing outside of his door, I feel like an idiot. He clearly didn't want to see me today after school, so why am I here?
I could give a million excuses, but I know the real reason. Despite every ounce of my body and mind protesting it, I've grown to care for him, and knowing he was hurt had me running over here like a lost fucking puppy.
Like a goddamn drooling dog.
"Iz, what are you doing here?" Mason opens the door, but he can hardly see from his right eye being swollen shut. The skin around it is black and blue, with scratches and a bloody lip to match.
Seeing him like this scares the shit out of me, and then realizing I'm caring about someone like this angers me even more. I push him back with my hands, letting hot, infuriating tears fall down my cheeks. I've always considered myself to be strong, but lately, Mason has me questioning who I really am. If after so many years of putting this facade up, maybe badass Izzy isn't really the girl who lives inside of me. It's a foreign soul I've created by faking it for so long.
"You're an idiot!" I scream. "Palmer and Jamie? They're three times the size of you! What were you wanting, a death sentence?"
He limps over to the couch in the gigantic living room, collapsing on one of the wraparound couches. The ceilings are cathedral with a huge chandelier hanging from above and floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook a garden with hedges lined with roses. Mason's house is like a palace, but I'm too pissed off to take a good look around. All my mind is focused on is that swollen eye of his. He's hurt.
"They were being dicks," he replies as I plop down beside him. "And your little fuck buddy was standing there smiling like it was nothing. He was letting them degrade you like you were some—"
"Slut?" I finish.
"No. Like you were a sex doll that they pictured fucking in ninety-seven different ways. It was repulsive."
I really didn't want to know what was said in that locker room... Not if it pushed Mason to his breaking point.
"Did you get in trouble?"
He rolls his eyes. "Please. It was easy to lie and say they ganged up on me. They're both idiots failing every single class they're in and causing trouble every fucking day. The principal didn't even bat an eye before giving them detention. I was sent home early to recover."
I lean over to tilt his chin to examine his eye. Palmer or Jamie, whoever it was who hit him, really did a number. I revel in his sharp intake of breath when I gently trace his purple skin with my fingertips, loving the way his eyes scan every inch of my face.
"Is it safe to say jealousy works both ways?" I ask with a teasing smile.
He scoffs. "I wasn't jealous, I just—"
"So the reason you punched them wasn't jealousy? Hearing all the different positions they wanted to put me in, all those dirty things they wanted to do to me... It didn't bother you?"
His nostrils flare, and when I go to put my hand back on his face, he grips my wrist and lowers it back down to my side. Our faces are so close that I can smell the mint of his breath on my lips. "The truth to that question isn't going to get me what I want. It's not going to make you change your mind."
"How can you be so certain?" I ask. He has no idea how many walls of mine he's already broken down. He has no idea how much he's taken over my mind. I'm so fucking close to giving in that it's terrifying.
"Because..." He clenches his jaw and clears his throat. "Because you smell like him, Izzy, and if I were to place a bet, I'm going to assume you taste like him, too."
His words are like daggers to my fucking heart. Seeing his pained expression is exactly why we shouldn't have gotten this close, to begin with. After our very first kiss, I should have ended things with Zane, but I'm quickly learning that I'm too naive for a guy like Mason. I'm too selfish for someone like him.
It's not me who deserves better.
It's him.
𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮
Poor Izzy :(
Do you think our girl will find herself?
Do you think she'll eventually find her way to Mason?
Please comment & vote! <3
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