TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self harm.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Draco Malfoy couldn't remember the last time he'd woken up with a smile on his face. He wasn't even sure he ever had woken up with a smile on his face. Even Christmases at the Manor weren't pleasant enough to incite the kind of happiness that he felt the last few days. He'd finally gotten the girl— some of her, at least. He only wished he had admitted his feelings sooner. Then, he'd have had more time with Ophelia before she was forced to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. They'd spent every moment that they could together since that night up on the Seventh Floor Corridor, but still hid away from the rest of the school. Draco wanted to scream it to the world that Ophelia Rosier fancied him. He felt like the luckiest man in the world, but he knew it would only cause her problems if everyone was talking about it, so Draco agreed to keep it a secret. He would do just about anything to make sure what they had would never end.
He climbed out of bed with a bit of a bounce in his step, even Blaise cocked a curious brow at him, noticing his strange, upbeat change in demeanour. Blaise knew better than to badger the Malfoy heir about his glee, because Draco's mood often changed like a flip of a switch, and a chipper Draco meant a much more pleasant dormitory.
Draco dressed quickly into his quidditch jumper, cutting his usual readying time in half so that he could meet Ophelia for breakfast before practice. Luckily, they could still publicly eat meals together without raising any eyebrows, because it's what they'd been doing since first year. Everyone just assumed Draco and Ophelia had finally set their differences aside and became friends again. If they only knew.
Draco's heart thudded in his chest as he sprinted up the steps from the dungeon and across the Entrance Hall. However, his smile quickly faltered when he noticed Ophelia wasn't in her usual seat, her soft smile when she'd see him enter was absent. She wasn't there at all. Draco slowed his pace, walking nonchalantly to where they'd usually sit, subtly glancing around the hall in case she'd decided to sit somewhere different that morning. He climbed over the long bench, taking his seat and immediately pulled a goblet of pumpkin juice towards himself. His mind raced at the thoughts of what could have happened. Had Effie had a change of heart? Was she standing me up? Was she ill? And then it dawned on him: what if the Dark Lord had summoned her? What if he'd found out about us and punished her? The guilt racked through Draco, causing his hand to shake and spill pumpkin juice onto the table. He couldn't even think about eating. Not without knowing what happened to Effie. Gripping the table with his slender, pale fingers, his ears perked up to the conversation happening a few seats down.
"She literally shattered the mirror." Greengrass whispered quite loudly. "I don't know what she was even doing in there, sounded like she was talking to someone and then I heard the glass break."
Draco's head snapped in their direction. Daphne was huddled with Davis, Parkinson and Bulstrode. He felt heat rising to his face with anger when Parkinson spoke.
"It's just Rosier looking for attention." She snapped while taking a sip from her goblet. "She basically has no one anymore, she just wants everyone to feel bad for her and for you to forgive her, Daph. Don't even worry about it."
Daphne hummed, poking at her pancake with her fork. "I don't know, Pans. She looked sick. She hasn't been herself since... I don't know, last year. There's something going on with her."
"Oh for Merlin's sake!" Pansy scoffed, throwing her hands up in frustration. "That's what she wants! She wants you to feel bad for her and you're falling for it! Just let her have her little spiral and she'll be back to her usual miserable self in no time."
The other girls ignored Pansy, and it was taking everything in Draco not to hex the girl from across the table, but he continued to listen in.
"Do you reckon we ask Warrington? Do you think he knows anything?" Tracey asked, her tone low and concerned.
Pansy let out an obnoxious cackle. "She hasn't touched Warrington in weeks." She smirked. "I would know."
"Have you been talking to Warrington, Pansy?!" Millicent gasped, turning her attention to her best friend and the two girls giggled excitedly together. Draco rolled his eyes, regretting every moment he spent with that insufferable girl, regretting sharing his bed with her, regretting giving her his last shred of innocence. He'd only done it because he was hurt by finding out about Effie and Warrington, and now he realized how impulsive he'd been. How stupid. He'd only ever wanted to share all of his firsts with Effie, as pathetic as that felt.
Pansy didn't stop there though, she flipped her bobbed hair back over her shoulder and leaned forward. "and he even told me that Rosier is a frigid bitch, even with him."
"Shut up, Pans." Daphne hissed, nodding her head towards the doors to the hall. "Here she comes."
Draco's head snapped to the doorway so quick he thought he'd break his neck. There she was, stalking slowly toward the Slytherin table with her head down. Draco'd never seen her look so poignant, she had always been one to keep her head up high and appear strong even if she really wasn't. His eyes trailed down, noticing a white bandage wrapped around her right hand and he instantly remembered what Daphne had said about the mirror shattering. Had Effie punched the mirror? It was something so incomprehensible, so out of character for her, he was certainly concerned now.
As Ophelia finally reached the table, she climbed over the bench across from Draco and sat silently for several moments, still refusing to look up from her lap.
"Good morning." Draco croaked, the nervousness evident in his tone. When Ophelia finally looked up to face him, he could have gasped. He'd seen Ophelia without makeup before, but this was something different. She looked severely ill. There were shadows under her eyes darker than he'd ever seen on anyone before, her skin was pale, even her eyes weren't their usual colour, they were dark— almost black. "Are you alright?"
"I will be." She responded simply, reaching for a goblet, but didn't bring it to her lips. She attempted to smile, but it only came out as a lopsided grin. "Just a bad night."
Draco leaned forward, noticing the rest of the student body staring at Ophelia Rosier's appearance, but thankfully she didn't seem phased. "If you need to talk, we can go somewhere quiet."
She shook her head. "It's alright. I promise."
"You alright, Rosier? Looking a little rough." Pansy called from down the table with a malicious smirk. Ophelia didn't even glance at her, she merely continued to stare into her goblet, her expression blank. The normal Effie would have had some nasty comeback for Pansy, shutting her up immediately, but her silence gave Pansy ammunition. "You know, if you really hate the way you look so much, you shouldn't take it out on the mirror."
"Shut up, Parkinson." Draco hissed, turning his head toward the group of girls with a sneer so evil that Pansy slumped in her seat and began whispering fervently with Millicent. Daphne and Tracey both watched Ophelia with concerned expressions, but neither went out of their way to say anything. Draco didn't know what had happened up in the dormitory, but he'd hoped that her friends would be there for her, despite not being on speaking terms lately.
Suddenly, Blaise unknowingly appeared at the table, taking a seat next to Ophelia and threw an arm over her shoulders. "Looking a little rough this morning, Eff, you good?" He joked. Ophelia and Blaise's banter was usually comical, normally she'd laugh and insult him back, but she barely made a sound and shrugged her shoulders. Blaise looked quizzically at Draco for an explanation, to which he only shook his head and Blaise pulled Ophelia into his chest. "Sorry mate, didn't know something was going on."
By the time breakfast was nearly over and it was almost time for Draco and Blaise to head down to the pitch for practice, Ophelia had perked up significantly. She'd managed to eat a piece of toast and drink most of her pumpkin juice. Draco was thankful for the effect that Blaise had on her, however it sent a pang of jealously through him. Draco only wished that he could lift her spirits as much as Blaise could, but he was grateful to see her smile again— even if it didn't quite reach her eyes. Draco wanted to skip practice and just spend the day alone with Effie, to do anything in his power to cheer her up and find out what truly went on in the bathroom, but Flint would have his head. He was hellbent on beating Gryffindor for the cup this year, and Draco skipping one practice would send him into a rage. They didn't have a backup seeker, not one as good as Draco, at least.
"You going to come watch us practice today, Eff?" Blaise asked her quietly while eyeing Draco suggestively. Neither of them wanted her to be alone, not right now.
Ophelia shook her head and gave her best smile. "No, that's OK, I'm going to just head back to the dormitory for a nap. Like I said, it was a rough night."
"Are you sure?" Draco asked, tapping his index finger anxiously against the table. He'd rather be able to keep an eye on her, even if she was only a speck in the stands.
Ophelia glanced at Draco's finger and nodded. "Of course. Don't worry about me... I'm going to head there now, though. It's a little too loud in here."
Draco and Blaise nodded slowly, but Draco felt uneasiness ripple through him. The Great Hall was quiet— quieter than usual, actually. He didn't understand what she meant by loud, but he allowed her to leave, and she gave him a quick squeeze of his hand before turning her back and walking away. He watched her until she disappeared from the Great Hall before turning back to Blaise.
"She's not right." He muttered, his eyes darting to the doors where she'd just disappeared.
"Noticed that, did you?" Draco sighed, closing his eyes and placing his palms firmly on the table. "I don't think I can go to practice, I don't think she's well."
Blaise's eyes widened. "You can't skip practice. Flint will murder you. Plus, it's Effie, she's more resilient than all of us put together. Whatever happened, she'll probably sleep it off and be back to herself later."
Blaise was right. Effie was stronger and more resilient than everyone he knew. Perhaps all she needed was a decent sleep and some quiet. That's what Draco reminded himself over and over as he and Blaise trudged down to the pitch, but still, something wasn't sitting right with him and he began to count down the minutes until he could go back to the castle.
* * *
Quidditch practice was refreshing. Draco was glad he didn't skip it, however, he had been so distracted the entire time that Flint had to toss the Quaffle at his head to get his attention. He had been staring off at the castle, hoping that Ophelia was tucked safely in her bed, sleeping off whatever terrible feelings she was having.
"Let's get back and check on Eff, yeah?" Blaise asked as Draco shut his locker loudly and nodded. He'd shoved his sleek Nimbus 2001 roughly inside instead of hanging it on its hook like he normally would. Everything felt like a rush today.
When the two boys arrived back in the Common Room, Blaise's eyes scanned the entire room for any sign of Ophelia in case she had migrated down there at some point while Draco went to the bottom of the Girls' staircase. Since the staircase basically turned into a giant slide any time a male stepped foot on them, he would resort to calling her name until she appeared.
"She's not up there, you know."
Draco's head snapped towards the voice. Pansy Parkinson was sat on the sofa, her legs tucked underneath her while she flipped lazily through her Charms' textbook. Blaise seemed to hear her too, as both boys quickly retreated to the edge of the sofa.
"Where is she then?" Draco demanded, his patience already wearing thin.
Pansy didn't look up from her textbook as she played with the corner of one of the pages between her thumb and index finger. "She left."
Draco felt like all of the air left his lungs as all of the negative thoughts plagued his mind.
"Left where?" Blaise spoke upon Draco's silence.
Pansy shrugged, finally turning the page she'd been fiddling with.
"Did she seem out of sorts?" Blaise asked again, his voice sharp.
Finally, Pansy looked up from her textbook. She cocked her head to the side and her lips twisted into a sardonic smirk. "Isn't she always out of sorts? You two are wasting your time chasing after her, she's actually insane. Punched a damn mirror, you know?"
Suddenly, the portrait hole swung open and both boys turned quickly to see Thomas Travers entering the room, his eyes immediately falling on the two panic stricken boys and the smile he had previously been wearing slipped off his face. His eyes narrowed slightly as he approached. "Everything alright over here?"
Blaise and Draco ignored Thomas and swung back to face Pansy.
"For once in your miserable excuse of a life, Parkinson, could you just show a little fucking compassion?" Draco seethed, finally finding his voice as the rage consumed him. This insufferable bitch was wasting precious time that Ophelia may not even have, and she found it amusing. He slammed his fist down onto the soft arm of the sofa, making Pansy squeak in surprise.
Pansy's smirk fell, and she let out a long derisive scoff. "If you really must know, I overheard her say she was going for a walk." She shut her book loudly before standing up and tucking it under her arm. "But that was maybe thirty minutes ago."
"Wait—" Thomas interrupted, stepping closer to the group with worry plaguing his features. "Is this about Eff?"
"Merlin, what is it with all of you and being completely obsessed with her?" Pansy snapped with a scowl. "When you realize how utterly stupid you are, Draco, I'll be waiting."
Pansy stalked off without another word and Blaise and Draco took off for the portrait hole with Thomas calling after them. "Wait! You need to tell me what's going on!"
"There's no time, Travers." Blaise replied, his pace quickening to keep up with Draco's long strides, but it didn't deter Thomas from following them quickly with confusion and worry for his cousin.The three boys ran up from the dungeons, Draco at their lead. Thomas was still yelling questions from behind him, but Draco didn't even hear him. His heart was beating so erratically that all he could hear was is own blood thrumming against his eardrums.
"Malfoy!" Blaise's voice sounded distant, almost miles away even though he could almost see him in his peripheral. Still, he didn't stop. "DRACO. STOP FOR A BLOODY MOMENT!"
The speed at which Draco spun on them almost had Blaise barreling into his chest. "What, Zabini?! What could possibly be more important in this moment than finding Effie?!"
Blaise took a moment to catch his breath. "This castle is massive, Malfoy. How are we supposed to find her? How will we know where she is?"
Blaise's words caused a sinking feeling to erupt in Draco's gut. He was right. They could scour the entire castle, but it would take all night, and by then, it could be too late. They could ask the portraits for help, but they would probably be less inclined to help a group of Slytherins. Going to Dumbledore was a write off— Effie would have their heads. Draco swallowed hard, defeat washing over his features.
"Can one of you tell me what's going on, please." Thomas begged, and Draco only just remembered his presence.
Blaise sighed. "Something's up with Eff. She hasn't been right. She said she was going to go for a nap but Parkinson told us she went for a walk." He paused, eyeing Draco cautiously. "We're worried she might... hurt herself."
Thomas paled. "You think it's that bad? It's Effie."
"I think it's possible. You didn't see her this morning, Travers. She was completely out of sorts."
Draco had completely zoned out of the conversation. He racked his brain for some sort of plan. However, the guilt for going to Quidditch practice sat at the forefront of his mind. If he hadn't gone, Effie might've just stayed in bed, or at the very least, stayed with him.
"Three naughty Slytherins out of their dormitory so close to curfew! What joy that would bring to the High Inquisitor!"
Draco's eyes moved upward, lip curling at the sight of Peeves above them. "Bugger off, Peeves."
"Three naughty Slytherins chasing after the pretty Rosier girl? Hee-hee!" He spun in the air, before his ghostly feet began to tap dance.
At that moment, it dawned on Draco. Peeves had always taken a liking to Effie, always sparing her from his cruel pranks. Either that or he feared her to the point of sparing her.
"Not the time, Peeves!" Blaise seethed, flipping off the ghost, to which he merely stuck out his long, transparent tongue.
"Wait! Peeves!" Draco called after him, earning a strange glance from both Blaise and Thomas. "Have you seen her? Have you seen Ophelia?"
Peeves' tongue retracted back into his mouth and a large, toothy smile appeared on his face, much like the Cheshire Cat. Draco took a step closer to him at this gesture. "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. You lot of all people should know that Ophelia Rosier doesn't like to be followed."
"Please, Peeves." Draco begged. He was desperate now. "She might be in trouble."
"HA!" The poltergeist cackled. "Trouble at Hogwarts, you dare say? Well in that case... NO! Wah-ha-ha-ha!"
Draco's shoulders dropped in defeat. He should have known better than to ask Peeves for help. He'd just wasted minutes that Effie may not have. He raked his hand through his not-so-pristine hair and let out a long, frustrated sigh. Perhaps it wasn't too late to get Dumbledore involved.
"Peeves." Thomas' voice spoke firmly, catching the retreating poltergeist's attention. He took several cautious, yet confident steps towards Peeves. "If you do not tell us where my cousin is, we'll get the Bloody Baron to shake it out of you."
Peeves' eyes bugged out of his head as he swooped down to Thomas' eye level. "You wouldn't."
Crossing his arms over his chest, Thomas maintained eye contact with the frightening ghost. "I would. The Baron takes quite a liking to us Slytherins, you know. I bet he'd be concerned about the well-being of one of our House's best students."
Peeves shivered in fear as his eyes clocked the three boys individually. "She went outside. Through the front doors. Quite a while ago." And with that, he soared away, disappearing through the ceiling while screaming profanities.
"Bloody brilliant idea, Travers." Blaise complimented Thomas, and Draco was already gone, sprinting towards the doors leading outside.
A/N: hi everyoneeee. It's been a minute.. again. I've had the worst writers block. I rewrote this chapter a total of eight times before settling, and now it's broken up into two. I know I said before there would be a su!c!de attempt in these chapters, but little did I know how triggering it would be for me to write, as someone who's struggled with self harm and depression, it's going to be going in a different direction. I hope to have the second half out within the week.
I hope you're all still here. I'm sorry for my absence🩷