"Hey Stan"
"Mmm"
"Let's go for a walk!"
"Mhm but I'm really enjoying my bed right now Kyle"
"You've been in bed all day, you need some fresh air let's go"
Stan rolled his eyes, before lazily getting out of his bed.
He knew there was no point in arguing with Kyle as he would end up giving him a speech.
Once he got changed him and Kyle left the house.
Kenny had left stans house yesterday and his mum was at work.
So it was just the two of them, though they hadn't spoke much.
Kyle tried but Stan seemed to be reluctant.
Kenny's Pov
One text from Kyle
Kyle: we left the house :)
Kenny smiled
"They've left guys"
"Thank god, I think a spider just bit me" Clyde laughed
They were all hidden in the bushes near stans house,
Kenny rolled his eyes before picking up the spare key and unlocking the door.
"Right so Tweek you bought drinks, Wendy and Craig you bought food and Tolkien you bought games to play. Right?"
"Yep" they all replied
"Nice. That was easier than expected now we just wait!" Kenny said as he took a seat on the soft sofa
The rest doing the same.
Kyles pov
I thought I'd update stan on what's happened in the last 3 months, while we were walking.
"Tweek and Craig brought a new Guinea pig so stripe could have a friend" I smiled excited for my friends
"Oh that's cool" stan replied looking straight ahead still
I nodded nervously
"Aha yep Bebe finally convinced Wendy to be a cheerleader"
Stan smiled and nodded
God it's like talking to Craig 2.0
We sat down on a picnic bench
Stan stared at the sunset in the distance, I could've swore I saw a little smile.
"What is it?" I asked
He looked at me then back at the sunset "I was so used to seeing white all the time, it's nice to see a bunch of colour"
I assumed he was talking about the psych ward
After small talk, I decided we should finally go back, as I didn't want everyone waiting for to long.
Stans pov
"Did you forget to lock the door" I asked Kyle
Kyle shook his head
Hmm that's weird
I opened the door and cautiously took a step inside, making sure Kyle was behind me
I let out a breath of relief as I saw my group of friends smiling back at me
"WELCOME BACK" they all screamed
I smiled "thanks guys"
"We bought drinks, food and games!!" Clyde beamed
I put on a fake smile "that's really nice guys.. but um I'm kind of tired and just want to get into bed. I really appreciate it though"
Before anyone could say a word or protest, I walked up the stairs and closed my bedroom door behind me, I couldn't be bothered to see their faces when I let them down.
I'm just really exhausted, I feel like my body is making up for the 3 months of sleep I didn't get.
I collapsed onto my bed exhausted and immediately began to drift of to sleep.
Before I could fall into a slumber, my door opened, I stayed in my position to tired to move.
"Stan."
Oh shit he sounds mad
"Yes Kyle?" I muffled into my duvet
"You can't just blow them of like that, they've made food and drinks an everything"
"I know Kyle, but I'm so exhausted.."
Kyle let out a loud sigh
"Ever since you've got back you've been exhausted, you've spent your whole time in bed, you can't live in your bed"
I slowly was beginning to lose my patience, he just doesn't understand.
I sat up and faced him
"That's because I'm exhausted." I deadpanned
"You know you don't have to use that as a shitty excuse, if you're pissed of at us for sending you away you can just say. But if you didn't fucking start drinking again in the first place, we wouldn't have to have done that Stan. This is your fault, your fault only. So don't distance yourself from us like we're the bad guys." Kyle snapped
I mean I was still quite pissed of at them for sending me away, but I was actually extremely exhausted, but Kyle wasn't seeming to understand.
"I'm not mad.. I'm just exhausted Kyle. Now can you please just let me sleep" I mumbled becoming more and more exhausted by the second
"Yep. Sure Stan. Sleep and drink that's all you'll ever do with your life." Kyle spoke calmly
What.
I looked up at him, he looked pissed
But definitely not as pissed as me right now
I can't believe he just said that.
I stayed silent as I jumped of the bed, and walked towards my shoes, I put them on and stormed past Kyle.
I can not physically be in the same building as him right now.
I walked down the stairs ignoring everyone and slammed the door behind me.
Fuck this
Fuck Kyle
Fuck that shitty psych ward
Fuck alcohol
Fuck my dad
Fuck that dude at that party
Fuck everything
I'm not suicidal anymore, but really?? life needs to give me a break, I'm on a constant loop of trauma that I can't leave.
I found myself at starks pond once again
I don't know what it is about this place but it seems to calm me down.
I looked up at the sky, to my surprise I saw a shooting star.
I watched it fly by to tired to wish for anything.
Kyle would've been so excited if he saw that..
Kyles Pov
I don't know how I let that slip out of my mouth
I didn't mean it.. well I don't think I meant it
I'm just feeling insecure Stan hasn't spoken to me properly in months even now when he's returned I feel like he's pushing me away.
I'm beginning to put my walls up, scared he might hurt me, so I'm hurting him before he can hurt me.
Which is toxic and I need to stop.
I listened to the silence downstairs it's been 10 minutes and I've just stood here in the same position.
I sighed, I need to go find him and apologise..
I walked down the stairs, it felt like a walk of shame.
"Woah dude what was that about?" Clyde asked
"Sorry guys I'll go get him I need to go apologise I've really pissed him of" I spoke rubbing the back of my neck
I watched Kenny's face reveal a slightly annoyed expression,
Kenny saw Stan as a little brother so anyone that hurt him, Kenny took it as a personal attack.
Before he could lecture me I walked out.
I have a feeling I know where he will be, so I headed straight to starks pond.
I entered the small area surrounded by trees, I headed for the bench me and Stan always sat at.
Like I expected Stan was sat there staring at the sky.
I took a seat and looked at him.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Stan"
No answer he didn't even move a little.
"Stan I'm just.. I'm worried ever since you've got back from the psych ward, you've been.. distant. I think I'm just putting my walls up because I'm worried that you'll hurt me, and by doing that I ended up hurting you instead.. and I'm really sorry" I spoke calmly, pleading he'd talk back.
Stan sighed, he kept his eyes on the starry sky
"My favourite people sent me away to some shitty psych ward, when I was at my worst.. yes I know you guys were out of ideas, but you weren't supposed to dump me into some psych ward and let them deal with me. You guys just left me when I was at my lowest.. I'm going to be pissed of and a little distant.. you guys just acted like everything was fine and normal when I got back " he calmly spoke
Stans Pov
They ask me to talk to them and tell them how I feel instead of bottling up my feelings.
So I did.
"It was hard for us Stan.." kyle barely whispered
I jerked my head and looked at him, he can not be serious right now
I snapped
"For you? For you? Kyle it was your guys choice to send me, I didn't get a fucking choice. Fuck. I mean you guys could've at least researched before sending me there. That fucking place should be shut down."
I let out a shaky breath, before continuing with teary eyes now.
"I fucking froze every night ky, one thin sheet was all I had. I didn't get an ounce of sleep those 3 months, which is WHY I'm so exhausted. The food was disgusting and barely even enough to feed me, Hence my drastic amount of weight loss. This fucking psychopath patient beat me every fucking day, the fucker even had a knife at some point and would carve shit into my skin for his own thrill. Meanwhile the nurses just fucking watched and they were just as abusive, they'd abuse me physically and mentally, I was even tied up at some points and starved. I've had multiple wounds but because their nurses and doctors, nobody would ever know."
Tears left my eyes now
You don't realise how bad it is till you say it out loud
And fuck this was terrible.
I could see kyle in the corner of my eye just staring at me with his mouth wide open.
Was he really that oblivious??
"I'm..I'm so sorry stan, I didn't realise.." his voice cracked
"No no you didn't so please don't try pity me now"
"Stan.."
Almost like Kyle knew his words couldn't make me feel any better he just pulled me into a hug.
He stroked my hair softly while comforting me,
I want to be mad at him for Sending me away to that place, but I just can't.
I can't bring myself to be mad at him
I sobbed into his chest, finally letting myself appreciate his presence again.