Dear Storm,
You suck.. where's my cuddles.. you taking too long..🥺
I had a thousand other words to say and now they're all gone.. sigh.
Been going through ups and downs.. and still going through those.
Although you either sleeping or at school I always seem to think too much about my worth and at times it amounts to nothing.. but there are days when everything is okay.
I suppose you can't always be there to chase away the demons.. but you can certainly try.
And thats what makes everything more worth while.
That you try and try your absolute hardest bestest to make me happy.. when even simple things hardly make me happy these days..
I feel like I'm losing my mind in the process of trying to suppress the depression just so you don't have to worry about me. But its hard. And I'm failing that too..
Words cannot express how much I'm grateful for you..
And how much I love you..
Thank you for holding on when I couldn't hold on.
Everything seems so much brighter..
Like I actually want to live.. and yet there are those lingering thoughts in my head constantly worrying me.. antagonizing me.. bringing me to a point of no return.. but thoughts of you stop them. And I realize just how selfish I am for even thinking that you won't lose yourself when (if) you lose me.
I never want to hurt you.
Yet I do.
And I hope you won't be too hurt when I'm not here.
I can't live forever.. no matter how much you want me to.. certain circumstances make things harder.
But I try everyday.
Even if everyday is a struggle.
And I don't want to worry you when I breakdown. Coz thats catastrophic.
Well.. anyway.. too much words..
Love,
Heiress.
PS: Just know.. your happiness is my happiness❤️