❪ 𝗗𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟'𝗦 𝗔𝗗𝗩𝗢𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗘 ❫
𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━
finding meaning in the mess. ╱ season four, episodes
fifteen & sixteen.
TERMINUS.
THE WORD LEFT a glimmer of hope to rise within Frankie's chest as the poster lay imprinted in her mind. She didn't know if the place would have a good outcome for them, but for the first time in a while, she had hope in a place she could call home. She just wanted a safe place she could rest her head at night, she had been aching for that since she had left her father. Frankie spent her time, waiting, searching for a place that she could trust. While most of herself were very skeptical, there was a small part that hoped it would be true. The survivors had come across the posters and maps as they made their way down the train tracks.
They had been moving non-stop for the past hour or two and randomly came across a train car that had a banner attached to it along with a map leading to a place called "Terminus". Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive, survive. Frankie had stared at the words for a long time, trying to believe the words, to wonder if this place was actually legit.
She looked around her and immediately knew what the answer was going to be as she noticed all the glimmers of hope and intrigue around her. Frankie connected the place to reunite a spot for Carl's group. She was immediately in when Carl asked his dad if they could go. And the man agreed. With Rick's final say, they all began toward the unfamiliar place with a prayer that it would meet their expectations.
There was a part of Frankie's brain that itched and itched with the thoughts and fears that surrounded the men that were left in the neighborhood that her group had just abandoned. She could feel in her bones that they were hunting them, she just knew it. Frankie relentlessly threw her concerns at Rick, but the man just pushed them off, saying that they would end up being perfectly fine.
Frankie wasn't the only one doubtful of the man's blatant confidence. Sydney and Gabi were holding the same uncertainty as they tossed looks at each other. They didn't understand how he could be so assured that they wouldn't catch up, that they wouldn't be vengeful after one of their people was now dead. Frankie knew her head was on the chopping block and she was at a point where she was counting down the hours until her fate was sealed. She could just feel they were behind them, waiting to strike.
The train tracks felt never-ending as she trudged along in tow with Gabi, subconsciously scuffing her boots against rocks as she walked. The girl with braids seemed to be in her own world as they moved together. There wasn't much that had been said between the two since they found each other again. There was a slight fear that trickled into Gabi's eyes when she saw the blood that covered Frankie's arms and hands. The girl didn't even bother to ask Frankie what happened, knowing her answer.
Frankie had been a little shaken up since she killed the man, but she didn't feel bad about what happened. She knew he was a bad man, and he deserved what came to him, but she was just dwelling on the fact that she took another life. She subconsciously added yet another tally to her imaginary death toll. Frankie couldn't help but think about her father. Even right now, she could see his reaction, the proudness swirling in her eyes, knowing she was doing what he wanted. She was becoming the monster that he so desperately wanted to see. And she didn't know how she felt about it.
"It gets easier,"
Frankie jumped at the sudden intrusion of her thoughts, turning she was met with Charlie as he stared down at her. It was the first time she saw genuine sympathy in his eyes. "I know, it's just hard,"
"I get it," Charlie mumbled as he fell into her steps, he felt suddenly vulnerable with her doe eyes just staring at him, so he awkwardly stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. "Killing someone is always hard,"
"I don't regret it," Frankie stated, shaking her head as she looked up to meet his gaze. "Not one bit,"
"Why?"
"Because he was bad," Frankie shrugged softly, staring down at her sleeves as she began picking out the fur that was clumped together with dried blood. "Those men, they're scary, they've tried to hurt us. He may have not been the one that hurt me, but he would've gladly watched. He was just another monster that would have hurt someone else. I'm glad he's no longer here, I'm just more scared of how easy it felt,"
"Did the others....did they feel like that?" Charlie questioned, his words were hesitant, almost as if he was scared as he entered new territory with the girl next to him. She felt off, there were no smiles or jokes, no teasing looks sent to Carl either. Charlie noticed how quiet she was after they ran from the house. Even at times when Carl tried to talk to her, Frankie's words were curt and soft, not holding her usual loud and humorous tone. Charlie could tell the others were noticing it too. Some weird part of it, wanted her to start talking like herself again.
Frankie looked up from her arms, due to the question. Her voice cracked as she spoke softly, "No, they didn't. That's why I'm nervous. I can't..."
"Can't what?" The boy asked, eyebrows furrowing as worry settled in his eyes. She didn't seem to be on the verge of tears, but her tone was beginning to get shaky.
"I can't be like him. I can't let killing be easy. It shouldn't be that way,"
Her words racked his brain, trying to figure out the pieces of her puzzle, "Your dad?"
"Yeah," Frankie murmured, eyes flicking around to the people around her, almost as if she was worried they would be listening in, but they all seemed to be in their own world. The only person who was listening intently was the boy next to her. "Killing became so much of who he was, and I fear that it will become just as easy for me as it was for him,"
"The fact that you're worrying about it, makes me think that you'll never get that way," Charlie's reassuring words hold a confidence that makes Frankie's chest become lighter.
"Thank you," Frankie breathes, a barely there smile began to reach her lips. Charlie usually wasn't the one to notice someone smile, but for the first time he caught hers, and he couldn't help but enjoy the fact that his words cause it. "Can I ask you a question though?"
The boy didn't even hesitate to send her a nod, "Mhm,"
"You said it gets easier," Frankie began, her words hesitant as she didn't know he would react to her question. "How many...have you..."
Her words were constantly drifting off, just waiting for him to cut her off, to tell her off for asking something so personal. But the cut-off never came, "I'm not sure, but I know it's less than ten, it used to be hard, but then more and more people began trying to take and destroy my home, so I had to fight back. It's easier to forgive yourself when they deserve it."
"Are the people who tried to take your home, are they all dead?" Frankie asked, reluctance filling her tone, hating the uncharted territory she was entering. She was so surprised at how much he was actually talking to her about.
"I hope so," Charlie muttered, sending her a small shrug. "All that matters is that the leader is dead."
"How you know?"
The boy paused at her words, swallowing as his next statement held nothing but coldness. "I killed him."
Frankie opened her mouth to say something, but she quickly closed up not knowing how to respond. The boy took the girl's lack of response as his cue to jog up to meet Rick's steps. Frankie hated it as she watched him dive into a conversation with the older man like he didn't just tell Frankie he killed the person that caused his group so much pain. The girl wanted the entire story, she wanted to know everything that happened with their group, but she knew it wasn't the time for that. They weren't ready to open up to her yet and she understood that. She would just have to wait for that moment, and she hoped she'd still be there when the time was right.
"I think we got about a day's worth of water left, We're lucky it's cooled off a little bit, but..." Rick spoke up to the group behind him, but as he turned to face everyone, his eyebrows furrowed as amusement swirled in his eyes. "What are you doing?"
Frankie turned to the people he was directing his words at, a genuine smile twisted lightly on her lips. Carl and Michonne were in stiff competition as they balanced on the rails of the train tracks, humor lacing their features.
"Winning a bet." Carl stated as he looked up at the people around him.
Michonne sent the boy a teasing glance, "In your dreams,"
"I'm still on," Carl argued, but it was quickly rebutted as he tried to hit Michonne's arm but ended up losing balance from the swift movement.
"You spoke too soon, wise guy," Michonne joked, her eyes focusing on the rail in front of her.
"This might go on a while," Rick began as he made his way up to the two. "Maybe we can speed this up?"
"Yeah, you're right, shouldn't be fooling around," Michonne spoke, her eyes on the boy next to her as her words held mischievous intent. "We should probably...Carl!"
The next movements were the cause of her downfall. She reached out to Carl, intending to throw him off. But instead, she lost her footing and quickly met the ground with a look of defeat on her features. Frankie's throat begged to let out a laugh, but the heaviness that lay in her chest stopped that from happening.
Carl sent the woman a triumphant grin as he jumped off the rail, "I win,"
The young boy and Michonne began to squabble about the choice of candy bar that Carl was going to choose as Rick stared at them with admiration and amusement. Moments like that were so innocent and sweet for the world around them, Frankie wished there was time for more moments like that. The redhead cocked her hip as she stood quietly next to Gabi as they watched the scene in front of them.
Frankie was glad to have moments like that imprinted in her brain, even if she wasn't a part of it. Joy wasn't easy to come by anymore and just seeing small moments of friendship and pure smiles was what made living worth it. Fighting for your family, giving each other small memories that they could hold onto forever. Even being able to watch those memories in the making felt so sweet to Frankie. Besides all the death and darkness that surrounded the girl, she was glad she found people that were able to let her witness bonding and relationship-building moments.
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THERE WAS A CALMNESS that washed over Frankie as she felt the morning breeze brush across her skin. She could hear the birds chirping in the distance, it gave her solace and peace in a time where trepidation was all she could feel. The soft breeze traveled through the air, lightly brushing against the trees above the small group's make-shift camp, which lay deep within the woods, a long walk away from the roads that lie their undetermined future.
Frankie laid on her back, feeling the crunchiness of the wilted leaves under her, lightly reveling in the morning sun that was peeking through the trees. As she stared at the whistling trees above her, she admired the streams of light, seeing beauty in the image. It seemed so ethereal in such a dark world around them.
The girl was never one to appreciate the beauty in the earth until it was all she had left. There wasn't much opportunity for beauty anymore, not until she saw what the morning sun looked like as it rose above the mountains or the glimmering night sky as it twinkled with millions of bright stars that were timeless and spacious.
Being on the road, gave Frankie time to experience those joyous aspects of life, even deep within the times of survival. Letting her be dependent on the earth and its predictability was a comfort she would never fully be able to put into words.
A few feet away she could hear the fire crackling as most of the group sat around it, conversing with each other. Frankie caught bits and pieces of what they were saying, but she eventually decided to forgo adding to the conversation, instead moving to place her headphones on her head.
Music began to pour into her ears, giving her the chance to drift away as she stared up at the moving trees looming above her. She felt dead to the world as she watched the wind brush against the trees, part of her wished she could be up in the trees just to feel it. She ached to feel anything other than the numbness seeping into her bones. Just to have the wind whipping in her face was something.
The music echoing in her brain wasn't helping, only bringing back memories she wanted to suppress. It was a mirage of things, from images and flickers of her mother to the action of her stabbing that man again and again. His death not only haunted her mind, but it brought up the innocent lives she had already taken. She can still feel the slam of the bat every time she swung down.
She could feel it shattering through her bones, the impact throbbing through her each time. Frankie could even feel the bile that rose in her throat, the acidic taste that eventually bubbled out of her mouth and onto the ground adjacent to the dead body. The only thing she could hear was the horrific sound of her father's rambunctious laugh as he taunted the group kneeling in front of them. Frankie could feel their gazes, but she refused to look, knowing the painful gazes would stare back at her with the reminder that she had altered their lives forever.
Coming back to the present, Frankie focused on how her body sunk deeper into the ground, the leaves giving a cushion that would never compare to the bed she had previously slept on not that long ago. Frankie didn't know how long she had truly been lying there staring at the sky, but it all came into focus as she felt someone's foot knock against her boot to get her attention. Popping off her headphones, she looked up to meet the happy gaze of Carl as he stared down at her.
"What's up, Sheriff?"
Carl slightly rolled his eyes at the nickname, but his slight smile never faded, "We're going to check the traps, do you wanna come?"
Frankie sat up from her position, noticing that mostly everyone was getting ready to head to check the traps. She quickly picked herself up from the ground, knocking the leaves from her jeans and jacket. "I might be interested,"
"Good, everyone was going anyway,"
Frankie shoved her stuff into her backpack quickly, not thinking to leave her stuff behind in their makeshift camp. The other didn't bother to wait around for the two, so they made their way past the camp's barrier, chatting to themselves. The two began to follow closely behind the others, keeping space so they could talk amongst themselves. Having a chance to catch up with Carl gave Frankie enough distraction that she began to forget about her troubling thoughts for even just a second. It was refreshing to talk to the boy, and even with the day she didn't say much to him, she never realized she would miss talking to him.
The dry leaves crunched under Frankie's boots like gravel as she aimlessly followed Rick, not knowing where his traps were. Carl was right by her side, laughing to himself due to something Frankie had just said. The girl reveled in the sound of his laughter, wishing that it was something she could hear forever. But she worried this wasn't forever, she worried that these people she's quickly begun caring about will be taken from her. They'll be taken away and she is left in the rubble, alone. Being by herself was a fear she never really wanted to touch, it was something always in the back of her mind. She feared she would be left alone, the last one standing. And she didn't know if she could take that.
If she was truly alone, she didn't know if she could be with her thoughts, the darkness that plagued her mind like a sickness. It terrified her to think that what was left of the light she loved so much about herself, would be gone. And there was nothing she could do about it.
"Are you alright?"
Carl's concerned question shattered through her thoughts, turning, Frankie met his confused stare. She didn't want to put more weight onto his already worrying heart, she couldn't do that to him. "I'm alright kid, don't worry about me,"
"You don't seem fine,"
His stoic observation made her tense. She wanted nothing more than to let him know how she was really feeling, but she couldn't, not right now. "I'm just processing some stuff, I'm okay, don't worry,"
"Are you sure?"
The girl sent him a forced smile, but the boy couldn't tell it was fake, "Positive. How are you doing? Are you okay?"
The boy let out a huff, lightly kicking the leaves below him, "I think so, I'm just nervous about Terminus,"
"I get it," Frankie replied, lightly playing with her secure knife in its sheath. "It's scary going into a new place, but I hope it's real and not bullshit,"
"Yeah, it's tiring being out here," Carl murmured, his voice quiet, almost as if he was admitting his weakness out loud. Frankie's chest tightened at his words. "I don't know why, but for some reason I have this feeling that Terminus is going lead us right to our group,"
Frankie through an arm around Carl's shoulders, giving them a squeeze, "You know kid, I feel the same way,"
The boy accepted the friendly affection, sending her a small smile in return, "I think Maggie will like you,"
"Oh really? Who's that?" Frankie asked as relief filled her lungs hearing the boy talk about a future with her in it after they connect with his group. It was reassuring, it made the fear that prickled in the back of her mind subside.
"She's Charlie's older sister," The boy replied, his words hushed. Frankie chalked the quiet tone to his worry about Charlie hearing their conversation. But as she looked to see Charlie, he was in a conversation with Michonne as he walked along with her.
Almost as if he could sense her stare, she saw him visibly tense up as he looked back to meet her eyes. Frankie gave him a comforting smile, and to her surprise, he returned it. It was a small, tight-lipped grin, but it was something. There was a satisfaction that spread through Frankie's core, knowing that she was making an impact on him. He wouldn't have done that previously, he would've just rolled his eyes and moved on. But now, something was changing between them and she loved it.
"Why would Maggie like me?" Frankie questioned when she turned her attention away from the boy ahead of her. "Why do you think we'd get along,"
"You annoy Charlie for one," Carl answered instantly.
"Well, I try," The boy's words made Frankie chuckle to herself, as her eyes landed on the older boy in front of her. "He hides a lot of himself, and that's super clear, I just wanna see who he really is,"
"He didn't used to be like that," The boy in the sheriff's hat muttered, his voice distant as he thought of the past. "Believe it or not he used to smile and laugh, all the time. He wasn't like he was now,"
"What happened?" Frankie questioned, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she stared at Carl. "What happened to him?"
There was a silence, the quiet became almost deadly as Frankie waited impatiently, waiting for Carl to answer her question. The boy's next words made her stomach drop, "He watched his dad get killed right in front of him,"
A rush of emotions ran through her veins, finally understanding why he was pushing people away so much, why he didn't and maybe still doesn't trust her. It suddenly made so much sense. Her heart ached, wanting to reach out to him and make him feel not so alone. But she stopped herself, knowing that just by doing that, it could make him revert and push her further away.
"Don't tell him I told you," Carl blurted, his blue eyes pleading. "He'd kill me,"
Frankie rolled her eyes at his dramatic words, "I'm sure he wouldn't kill you, but I won't say anything,"
"Promise?" The boy asked, his next movements made a bright smile reach Frankie's lips as she watched him stick out a pinky.
"What happened to this being stupid and childish?" The girl teased as she lifted an eyebrow, without hesitation, the girl linked her pinky with his.
"Shut up and just promise me,"
Frankie snorted, tightening her grip on his pinky, to show her seriousness, "I promise Sherriff,"
"We'll stay another day or two," Rick's voice broke through the moment between the two in the back. Looking away from each other, their eyes met the man as he stared at them, almost as if he was waiting for them to notice him. Frankie sent him a tight-lipped smile as an apology, he simply nodded and continued with his words, "Get some more rest,"
"Finish healing up?" Michonne added to his statement.
The man nodded, giving her a small look, "I'm almost there,"
"We're close now, right?" Carl chimed in, making his way toward the two up front, with Frankie in tow until she met the pace of Gabi and decided to walk along with her.
"To Terminus?" Rick asked, looking toward his son.
The boy sent him a nod, "Yeah,"
"We are,"
"When we get there," Carl paused, trying to come up with the right words, "Are we gonna tell them?"
There was a small moment of silence as everyone took in his words, Michonne was the first to speak. "Tell them what?"
The boy turned his attention to Michonne. "Everything that's happened to us, all the stuff we've done. Are we gonna tell them the truth?"
"We're gonna tell them who we are," Rick answered, his words vague and Carl wasn't quite understanding what he was saying.
"But, how do you say that? I mean who are we?"
Frankie sucked on her bottom lip as she took in his words, as they shook her to her core. As she looked around at the people around her, she couldn't help but wonder who were they?
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𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥'𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘:
HEY LOSERS!! I'M BACK!!!!
we got some emo and existentialism
from our girl, she'll be okay! (she will not).
next chapter is gonna be crazy as
fuckkkk I'm so pumped to let you
guys see a slightly crazy side of Frankie
that none of them have seen before
Also there will be a lot of trauma,
but also maybe a weird bond with
Charlie will come out of it, idkkkk (i do).
ALSO‼️‼️‼️‼️
Check out my TikTok I've got
Some fab Charlie and Frankie edits up
and I love them sm
TikTok: @gardensongsswp
hope you guys enjoyed!!!