CHAPTER 33
GUILT
Russell's POV
I smiled as I placed the dish that I cooked for Sab at the dining table. Simpleng paella lang para sa aming dalawa.
Tinanggal ko na ang apron ko at isinabit iyon sa gilid bago ko tiningnan ang orasan.
She should be here by now. Bakit wala pa siya?
I checked my phone and was surprised to see that she didn't left any calls since her classes ended. Hindi niya ugaling hindi magparamdam or mag-text man lang. She likes flooding my inbox with random messages. Kahit simpleng emoji nga sine-send niya para lang manggulo.
Tinawagan ko na siya upang kumustahin kaso out of reach ang phone niya. Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko. Ano 'yon? Lowbatt?
Lumapit ako sa bintana ng living room at sinilip kung nasa labas na ba siya kaso laking gulat ko nang makitang umuulan na pala. Maybe she's not yet here because of the rainfall. Baka wala siyang payong at hinihintay tumila ang ulan.
I opened the "Find My" app on my phone. I shared her location to me when I borrowed her phone the other week, nung nagaaral kami sa library para sa exams niya. I did that just in case of emergency, I'd be able to find her quickly. Nag-share rin ako sa kanya ng akin pero nalimutan kong banggitin.
Last Known Location: Brooklyn High University campus
But that was an hour ago. Mukhang namatayan nga siya ng battery kaya hindi na nagsho-showup ang exact location niya ngayon.
I grabbed my car keys and went out to get her. Tinawagan ko na rin si Lucas upang tanungin kung kasama ba nila ni Marina si Sab.
"She said she'll go on a date with you," her cousin mumbled. "Hindi mo pa ba siya kasama?"
"We were supposed to meet tonight pero hanggang ngayon wala pa siya. She's not answering her phone. Pupuntahan ko sa school. I'll let you both know once I find her."
"Okay. Ingat. Subukan ko na lang din tawagan siya."
I find it odd that Sab's still at school. Kung kinausap niya lang ang prof niya, dapat hindi siya aabutin ng thirty minutes. Mukhang kakabagsak lang ng ulan kaya nakaalis na dapat siya bago dumilim ang panahon.
Pagka-park ko ng kotse sa loob ng campus ay agad akong bumaba. Nalimutan kong magdala ng payong kaya tumakbo na lang ako. Medyo malakas ang ulan pero binalewala ko na.
I didn't know where to look for her but I decided to visit the faculty building. Wala ng gaanong mga professor doon at mas lalong walang estudyante. It's a good thing I'm the school director's son. Hindi nila ako tinanong nang pumasok ako sa loob at nagikot ikot.
No sign of Sab. She must have left already.
I sighed and went out to walk around. Pinuntahan ko ang locker hallway, ang office ng basketball team pati na sa swimming team.
"Oh my gosh, Russell! It's raining!" Lumapit sa akin ang isang pamilyar na babae at pinayungan pa ako. I just raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm Lily. I'm the president of your fansclub." Right.
"Have you seen Sab?" diretsang tanong ko. I know my girlfriend's part of Russell Riders. Magkakilala sila nito.
"I saw her walking towards the cheering base. Not sure if she went to audition---"
"Thanks." Iniwan ko na siya ngunit laking gulat ko nang hinabol niya ako at pinayungan ulit. I stopped to gaze at her.
"Hindi kita pwedeng hayaang mabasa. You're my number one priority. It's a pledge."
"What?"
"Tara na, hanapin na natin si Sab."
Pinabayaan ko na siya at nagtungo na sa building na sinambit niya. Bakit naman pupunta doon si Sab? She didn't mention anything about the tryouts.
Pagdating doon ay nagtaka ako dahil patay na lahat ng ilaw. The door was locked and it doesn't look like someone's inside.
"Maybe they left already..." Lily muttered.
Hindi na ako mapakali. I didn't like not knowing where Sab is.
"Bakit hindi mo siya tawagan?" This girl added.
"I can't reach her."
She frowned. "I'll ask the club members to look for her."
Tumango ako. "Yes. Please do that."
Tinitigan niya ako kaya naman umismid ako. Problema nito?
"I-I'm sorry. It's just strange to see you worry like this. Sa ilang taon na fan mo 'ko, ngayon lang kita nakitang ganito at kinakausap mo pa 'ko. You've changed... and for the better---"
I have no time for this. "Can you save my number? I want you to call me if any of you found my girl."
"S-sure!"
Ibinigay ko sa kanya ang cellphone number ko bago ako tumakbo papunta sa library. I heard her scream my name but I didn't glance back. Wala sa'kin kung maulanan ako. Mas nagaalala ako na baka magpaulan si Sab para lang makarating sa apartment ko.
Minsan pa naman kung ano-anong ginagawa no'n.
"Hey Russ!" I was already in front of the library when I heard Ron from afar. Lumapit siya at sinarado ang payong niya. "Bakit nagpapakabasa ka? And who was that girl you're talking to?"
"A friend of Sab's. Nakita mo ba siya? Kanina ko pa kasi siya hinahanap."
"Hindi, e. Kakatapos ko lang kumain sa cafeteria. Have you tried her phone?"
Pinunasan ko ang mukha ko gamit ang kamay. "Hindi matawagan."
Nagbago ang expression ng mukha niya. "That's not like her."
"Her friend Lily said she saw her near the cheer base but I've checked it. Sarado."
"I'll look around."
I nodded. "Thanks."
Pumasok na ako sa loob ng library at inikot iyon. Nasita pa nga ako ng librarian dahil baka mabasa daw ang mga libro pero nagpatuloy lang ako.
Habang tumatagal na hindi ko siya nakikita, mas lalo akong kinakabahan. Iba ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. I could feel something's wrong.
Lumabas na ulit ako at naglibot sa campus. Mabuti ay tumila na ang ulan kaya mas napadali ang paghahanap ko.
Where the hell are you, Sab?
Naisip kong baka nasa apartment ko na siya kaya naman nagtungo na ako sa parking lot. Paalis na sana ako nang mapansin ko ang cheering squad na naglalakad palabas ng campus. Babalewalain ko sana sila kaso napansin ko ang phone na hawak ng isa sa kanila.
It's the same phone case as my Savannah's. Panda ang design at may keychain pa na letter R.
I ran towards her and grabbed her wrist. Napatalon siya sa gulat. "R-Russell."
I stared at the phone and took it from her. Before she could complain, I already turned it on. Hindi lowbatt, naka-power off lang.
I was right. This is Sab's. Picture naming dalawa ang lockscreen.
"Why do you have my girlfriend's phone?"
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. "I-Is that hers?"
Nandilim ang paningin ko. "Answer me."
"Russ, calm down. We didn't know whose phone is that. We found it and thought we should give it to the lost and found," Agatha intervened. Lumapit siya sa amin. "We're actually heading there."
"Have you seen her?"
"Nope," She simply said. "By the way, my Mom's asking if you could join us for dinner---"
"Sorry. I can't." Iniwan ko na sila at tumakbo na ulit pabalik sa mga building. Inisa isa ko na ang mga classroom hanggang sa makabalik ulit ako sa cheerleading base.
"Russ!" Marina shouted. Tumakbo sila ni Lucas palapit sa akin. "Have you seen her?"
Umiling lang ako at tiningnan ang kaibigan ko. He also shook his head.
Huminga ako nang malalim at tumingin sa paligid. Natigilan ako nang makitang bukas na ang pintuan ng gym. I went inside and opened the flashlight on my phone.
"Ssshhh. I'm here. It's okay." I froze when I saw Ron at the bleachers. Yakap yakap niya si Sab.
"S!" Tumakbo na si Marina palapit sa pinsan niya kaya napatingin sa kanya ang dalawa. Ron's eyes went to mine as I approached them as well. Tumayo siya at galit na sinugod ako.
He held the collar of my shirt and cursed under his breath. Sab shouted and immediately ran towards us.
"Ron, stop it!"
"And why? This motherf*cker deserves to get his ass beaten!"
"Walang kasalanan si Russell!"
Hindi nagpapigil si Ron. He even punched me in the face. Doon na pumagitna si Lucas habang humarang na rin ang magpinsan.
"Dude!" Lucas shouted. "Chill!"
I pushed Ron's hand away. Mukhang uupakan niya pa ulit ako. He's fuming mad right now.
"Ano bang problema mo?" tanong ko habang pinupunasan ang dugo mula sa labi ko. Sab held my arm and pulled me to take a step back. Doon ko lang napansing umiiyak siya at ang lamig ng mga kamay niya.
"Obligasyon mo si Sab! Oh bakit mo pinabayaan?" sigaw ni Ron na nagpupumiglas pa.
"Ron, please!" My girlfriend sobbed. "He didn't know I was here! I lied to him!"
"Ano bang nangyari?" nagaalalang tanong ni Marina. "Ang sabi mo, may date kayo ni Russ. Bakit nandito ka?"
"I went for the tryouts then I helped them clean up. Kaso pagpasok ko sa equipment room, may nagsarado ng pintuan. No one answered after that. Mabuti na lang nakita ako ni Ron. I was inside for two hours! Akala ko buong gabi ako dito. Patay pa ilaw at walang kuryente! Takot na takot ako, M!"
"Oh tama na, wag ka na umiyak. Nandito na kami." Thankfully her cousin hugged her. Gusto ko rin siyang yakapin kaso basang basa ako.
"Naiyak lang naman ako dahil gutom na gutom na ako, M!" pagngawa niya.
Marina laughed. "Okay, let's eat." Inalalayan niya na ang pinsan niya palabas ng gym habang binitawan naman na ni Lucas si Ron.
"Let her go if you can't protect her, Russell." Binangga pa ni Ron ang balikat ko bago siya umalis.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.
"Don't mind him, bro," Lucas tapped my shoulder and left too.
Naiwan akong magisa sa loob ng gym. I groaned and felt like punishing myself.
Wala akong kwenta. May hindi ko nga naisip pumasok dito sa loob upang tingnan kung talaga bang walang tao. If it weren't for Ron, Sab would still be here, alone in the dark.
Lumabas na ako ng gym at nagulat nang makitang nandoon pa rin silang lahat maliban kay Ron na mukhang umalis na. Lily was also at the side. Kita sa mukha niyang nakahinga na siya nang maluwag dahil nahanap na namin si Sab.
"'Di ba nagluto ka ng dinner natin? Doon na tayo sa apartment mo," Sab muttered while wiping the tears on her cheek. Hindi na siya umiiyak at mukhang ayos na siya.
Umiwas ako ng tingin. "Sorry. I forgot to cook. Sa cafeteria na lang kayo kumain."
"K-kayo? Hindi ka sasama?"
"I need to go home. I'll all wet."
"I'll go with you!"
"Hindi na. Gabi na, Sab. Wag ka na umalis ng campus." I walked towards her and kissed her forehead then I looked at Marina and Lucas. "Please accompany her."
"Teka hubby---"
Tumalikod na ako at umalis kahit na nagsasalita pa siya.
Wala akong mukhang maiharap kay Sab. I hated myself for not being there for her.
Sumakay na ako ng kotse ko at aalis na sana nang bumukas ang pintuan at umupo sa shotgun seat si Sab.
"W-why are you here?"
Masama ang timpla ng mukha niya. "'Yung phone ko, na sa'yo."
Doon ko lang naalala ang hawak hawak ko. I returned it to her. I thought she'll leave but she buckled her seatbelt.
"Saan mo nakita ang cellphone ko?"
"One of the cheerleaders have it. Napulot daw nila."
"Tss. For all I know, it's them who locked me inside."
"Why would they do that?"
Inirapan niya lang ako. "Can we just go? I'm really hungry."
"Sa cafeteria ka na nga lang kumain---"
"Alam ko kung anong ginagawa mo. Hindi ako papayag na layuan mo 'ko dahil sa guilt mo, Russell. I meant what I said. It's not your fault. Wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo sa nangyari sa'kin."
I pursed my lips and looked away but Sab held my hand. "I was the one who went there without telling you. I was the one who fell into their trap. I should have known better."
Hindi pa rin ako nagsalita.
"I'm sorry for lying. Naulanan ka pa tuloy... What if magkasakit ka niyan?"
"Don't do that, Sab."
"Do what?"
"Bakit ako pa rin ang inaalala mo? Ikaw itong ilang oras na nakulong doon."
"I'm your girlfriend. I'll always care." Hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko at pinaharap ang mukha ko sa kanya. "Wag mo naman ako layuan, please. I already had a bad night. Wag mo na palalain pa."
"I'm sorry. I just feel so useless right now," pagamin ko.
"Hindi man ikaw ang nakahanap sa akin, ginawa mo pa rin ang lahat para makita ako. My friends wouldn't look for me if it weren't for you." She leaned and pressed her lips to mine. "Thank you for what you did. It's more than enough for me, hubby."
Her words soothed me. I rested my forehead at hers and finally felt relieved.
"I'm glad you're okay. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung may nangyaring masama sa'yo."
"May mangyayaring masama kapag hindi pa tayo umalis. Feed me na, please? Kumakalam na talaga ang tiyan ko!"
I chuckled at her goofiness. "Alright, let's go home."
She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Sounds good to me."
For now, I'll let go of what happened but afterwards, I'll make sure to find the culprit. Kung sino man ang nag-lock kay Sab sa locker room ay mananagot sa'kin.
I won't let that person get away from this.
Sab's POV
Ang laki ng ngiti ko habang pinagmamasdan ang mukha ni Russell na natutulog sa tabi ko. Because of the incident last night, napapayag ko siyang dito na ako mag-stay. Napabuti rin pala na nakulong ako sa equipment room. Atleast now, lahat ng hilingin ko sa boyfriend ko ay ginagawa niya. Hehehe.
Maski si Marina ay hindi umalma nang tinawagan ko siya kagabi at sinabing hindi ako uuwi sa dorm. She just reminded me not to do anything my father wouldn't want me to do.
"Sab..."
"Hmmm?"
Tinig na titig ako kay Russell habang hinihintay siyang magsalita ulit ngunit pagkatapos ng ilang minuto ay doon ko lang napagtantong tulog pa rin talaga siya.
Ehe! He's thinking about me while he's sleeping! Grabe naman! In love na in love ha!
Humagikgik ako ngunit natigil rin nang humigpit ang yakap niya. I bit my lower lip while smiling as I inhaled his scent. Ang bango bango niya talaga! I can stay right here forever!
Kaso... oh my gosh! Nauutot ako!!!
Dali-dali kong tinanggal ang braso ni Russell at pumasok ng CR. Nang mailabas ko ang masamang amoy ay napailing na lang ako. Ano ba 'yan! Panira ng moment!
Lumabas na ako ng CR at hihiga na sana ulit sa kama nang bumungad sa akin ang boyfriend kong natatawa habang nakatitig sa akin.
"Narinig mo?" tanong ko dahil malakas ang pagkakautot ko sa CR kanina.
He burst out laughing while I made face. "It's human nature! Wag mong pagtawanan!"
"I'm sorry," He laughed. Ngumuso ako ngunit napalitan iyon ng ngiti nang ibuka niya ang mga braso niya na para bang nanghihingi ng yakap. "Come back here."
I climbed his bed and hugged him again.
"Wala ka bang gagawin today?" tanong ko. Weekends naman pero baka may plano siya.
"I'm free. You?"
"Wala rin. Labas tayo!" pagyayaya ko. Tahimik lang siya kaya tiningnan ko ang mukha niya. "Bakit? Ayaw mo?"
"I want to but I have a slight headache. Dito na lang tayo sa apartment. Let's just watch movies all day."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Baka kulang lang ako sa tulog."
"Sige, sleep pa tayo." I giggled and buried my face on his neck. I heard him chuckle but later on, he was quiet again. Mukhang nakatulog na ulit siya.
This feels surreal. Dati panaginip ko lang na may mayakap akong boyfriend ko pero ngayon, totoo na. He's really here with me. His arms are wrapped around me as he slept peacefully.
Pumikit na ulit ako kaso naramdaman ko na naman ang tiyan ko.
Ano ba 'yan! Nauutot na naman ako!!!!
*End of Chapter 33*