The next morning, Callyndia was grateful to be leaving that old barn and the dead skunk beasts, even though she was quite unrested. The human parts of her were all sore from sleeping on the thin straw floor, though she certainly wasn't going to let Svenden know that. He seemed to have inexplicably remembered her as a delicate little flower who couldn't take care of herself on the road.
She'd show him how tough she really was! Besides he looked just as fatigued as she felt. Maybe even more so.
Leofric was deep in melancholy for most of the morning, as his lethargy and the monotony of the road were undoubtedly feeding thoughts of his lost love. Callyndia tried to encourage and cheer him, but there were limits to even the charms of a nymph. Pulling the mind of a scholar away from an obsession was a fool's errand.
Callyndia was weighed down with concerns of her own. She'd never thought to question her mother's safety before, because the idea that someone would want to hurt Alloria Rosa, much less be able to do so, was incomprehensible to her. She still didn't believe it was possible that her mother was in any real danger, and that served to squash her few remaining doubts and prop her spirits up for the day.
Leofric had no such confidence regarding Kithana's safety. She was somewhat fragile to begin with — a spirit made of ephemeral flames in a hostile world, tossed so unexpectedly into such a tense situation. He'd had no reason to anticipate his mentor's betrayal, and had no insight into why it was happening. To make it worse, his mentor was capable of traversing a great distance in a very short period of time, making it uncertain that they could even keep up.
Svenden was no help at all, of course: his eyes were up the road and his mind was elsewhere too, brooding again. Probably wondering whether each step he took was his own choice or hers.
She really wished he wouldn't let himself be so influenced by horror stories about fairy temptresses and such.
Regardless, it was entirely up to Callyndia to keep Leofric's spirits up. She had to do something.
"Leofric," she asked softly, "What's it like to be in love?"
She could see Leofric attempting to pull his mind out of the morass of anxiety for Kithana, blinking uncomfortably at the question. "Well, I..." he began hesitantly, "I don't know that I'm the right person to answer that question."
"But you're the person I asked," she said gently, "There's no right or wrong answer: I just want to hear it from your lips."
"Well, I'll try my best," he said, "I do have a certain romantic attachment to Kithana, but... well, I have only had the one experience, you see? And it's far from a conventional romance. I couldn't possibly circumscribe it all for you based on that."
"I don't need a scholarly treatise on the subject," she asked, "I just want to know what it feels like for you. I've never felt it."
Leofric inhaled slowly, then exhaled again. "Well," he said pensively, "I suppose my experience must be quite odd, since the object of my affections is not what you'd call a typical woman. I knew her for months as a simple creature, an entertaining pet in the care of Master Garrafey, and it wasn't until later that she started to take on the characteristics of a woman. And even then, it wasn't until I thought something regrettable about womankind that I realized I even saw her as such.
"After that, it took more months of rationalizing to myself and fighting with my uncertainties and insecurities. And I have to admit I'm still rather embarrassed by the whole thing."
"Embarrased?" Callyndia asked in disbelief, "Why? You should never be embarrassed by love!"
Leofric laughed uncomfortably. "Nevertheless," he said, "I do feel embarrassed talking to other people about it."
"Why?"
He processed that for a moment before speaking. "Well," he said, "I suppose there are a lot of uncharitable things that can be thought of a man who is in love with a woman that isn't really a woman. And she's technically less than two years old."
"Oh, you needn't worry about that," Callyndia said gently, "Her spirit is much older than two. Your master didn't create her spirit out of nothing: he merely put her in a body of flames."
Leofric chuckled again. "I suppose you're right," he said, "Perhaps it is something I should overcome. But the fact that I need to overcome it suggests that it does, in fact, exist to be overcome. And thus, it can hardly be inappropriate for me to acknowledge it."
"That's an interesting way of seeing things," Callyndia commented.
"Hm," Leofric said, nodding, "But, I have learned to savor even my own discomforts, because... every moment with Kithana, no matter how awkward, is worthwhile and memorable. I just hope I'll be able to have more moments with her."
Callyndia smiled lightly. "Sometimes I wish I could feel those feelings," she said softly.
"Well, if I may be so bold," Leofric asked, "Why can't you?"
She looked meaningfully at Svenden's back. "Nymphs don't fall in love," she said softly, "It's just a fact of who we are. The nymph's curse."
"I see," Leofric said before lapsing hesitantly into a brief, thoughtful pause. "Lady Sablesong," he continued after a moment, "I mean no offense, but you're only half-nymph. How do you know that the facts are the same for you as they are for full nymphs?"
She kept staring at Svenden's back, and she could tell that he was listening intently for her answer to that one. "Personal experience," she said quietly.
Callyndia could almost swear that Svenden's head and shoulders hung a little lower after that. For the rest of the day, his smiles seemed a little tense, and his eyebrows seemed a little heavy. She repeatedly felt an urge to reach out and squeeze his hand comfortingly, but she doubted it would come as any actual comfort for him, so she resisted.
They walked on in relative silence for the rest of that day, and made reasonably good time in spite of the rugged terrain. The farther they went westward, the thinner the wildfire smoke became, but it never fully dissipated.
It was as if the whole land behind them were aflame.
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Twenty chapters in! Thanks for reading this far! Next chapter, they'll finally arrive at the shadowfolk village.