Chapter 20
I was sitting under the patio overhang, grudgingly munching on cold fast-food. The sky was still gray, the fog prominent, and the gentle mist continued. The outdoor loveseat's removeable cushions were damp, making my ass and thighs wetter and colder. Getting sick at least caused us to take a break from our heavy conversation, but I was not a happy camper (or boater, I guess) about how it happened.
Throwing up was embarrassing. Throwing up because of nerves... embarrassing and pathetic. I didn't want him thinking I couldn't handle the truth. "I told you it was dumb to bring me on a boat when I was feeling sick," I mumbled.
Yards away, he was strained over the railing, hosing the vomit off the side of his boat. "Funny. You felt more than fine once I gave you your energy back."
"Think whatever you want, but I did not get sick because of my nerves or anxiety," I lied.
"You sure?"
"Yes! I'm not as weak as you think," I snapped. "Plus, I didn't have much to eat today, so the food is already making me feel better too."
"Huh. If only someone suggested you eat earlier."
Ugh, he was really getting under my skin now. Finishing off a few more fries, I narrowed my eyes. "You're right. I totally should have chowed down this medium fry earlier instead of getting caught up in the secrets of life and death. I'm just such an air-head. At least you saved the day by having a hose on here. Truly, thank god because it's not like one small wave could easily just wash it away." It's not like I just threw up (and nicely did it over the side). It's not like I was damp, chilly, or had the biggest bombshell in history dropped on me! "I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for getting a little vomit of side of your boat. Next time I get sick, I promise to first jump in the water and then throw up."
Ignoring my sarcasm, Peter finished up. After rolling up the hose, he finally walked over. He looked me over and the greasy bag next to me, which I helped myself to by the way. I helped myself to the bathroom, this food, and this spot on the patio. That's right, after I threw up, he did nothing to help me. Now, believe me: I did not want any sympathy, favors, or coddling. That didn't mean it was okay to be uncaring though. Which made me quickly object his very late offer.
"Did you want something to drink? I can get you some water."
I shoved my hand in the bag for another fry. "No, but thanks for offering 10 minutes later."
Amused, he went inside and came out with a cup of water, offering it to me regardless. "You could have easily got it yourself when you headed inside and grabbed the food."
"Exactly. I could have and would have if I wanted it. But you still should have offered."
"I actually thought about it, but I enjoy seeing you get all riled up," he smirked, sipping the water I denied. Then, he noticed goosebumps on my arms. "I will say I should have offered you a coat or blanket. I'll go grab one for you if you want."
"Nope. Completely fine."
"There's no reason to be stubborn."
"There's every reason."
"Well, is there anything I can I get for you?" he asked in a warmer voice, eyes more inviting. "You know, your assumption is wrong. I don't think you're weak."
My aggravation softened. I didn't need a damn thing from him; I didn't want his late offers. However, I could see the respect he did have for me seep in. "I'm glad you don't think I'm weak. My point is though that it doesn't hurt to be courteous."
His eyes stayed intently in mine. "Yes, it does, actually," he whispered gently. What did that mean? There was more meaning behind those words, but he quickly moved on, and glance to his watch. "Anyway, now, if your stomach can handle it, are you ready for me to explain a little more?"
The breeze sifted through our misty hair. Closing my eyes for a moment, I breathed it in. "I don't know if 'ready' is the right word. Especially when you were in the middle of talking about that spiritual plane."
With that, Peter dove further into where we left off – which was jarring. As I was perched on the edge of my seat, he was a few feet away, leaning against one of the poles supporting the upper-deck. All the while, he continued blowing my mind. He further explained the place Famine took me, this 'plain,' was something humans couldn't access without help. Meaning humans did not belong there. Once he laid that on the table though... the connection I made was disturbing. Because if humans didn't belong in that plain... did that mean all those people in that bar weren't human?
Sure enough, Peter confirmed that every person there was otherworldly. Apparently, when humans do go to there, they can't function for long. That place drains human energy, but that wasn't the only reason I became tired and weak.
"Famine was sucking you dry too, so between him and the plane, you were drained in double time. He leaches off the energy of anyone and anything around him."
My heart jolted in fear. "Anyone and anything?"
Shoulder propped by the pole across from me, he crossed his toned arms and nodded. "People, plants, electricity, lights, any source of energy. He's a nasty fucking black hole." Letting out an impatient exhale, his lips twisted in disgust. Famine was a sour subject for him, fueling him to become more animated and tense. "If I hadn't showed up, you would have been stuck and completely powerless. Do you understand? You walked into a lion's den. All for the sake of answers not ever meant for you. It just is astounding that you ignored all the red flags. You really think he stalked you in your dreams, lured you there, and promised to help you because he was a good upstanding guy?" Leveling the furry in his tone, he forcefully stopped his rant. Brows furrowing, he scoffed. "Did he tell you what his job is? I'm curious how much fluff he added to his job description."
"Well, his job wasn't to bitch me out for something that wasn't my fault. Like I said, how the fuck was I supposed to know any of that," I mumbled, running a hand through my kinked hair. "He basically said he works behind the scenes of Heaven and Hell. I'll go out on a limb and say Heaven isn't the one that hire him."
"Famine works as a representative for Hell. This... this is complex so it's alright if you don't understand right away. Or understand all of this," he sighed. "Unlike humans, unlike full-blooded angels or demons, he is a half-breed. He's a half human and half demon. Because of this, he can easily live in this plane and the other one without any limitations. This makes him a very versatile businessman. He is the perfect middleman between the mortal and the divine because he can access both," he sneered. "We happen to live in his district where he seeks new clients. He wanted you to be one of them."
Famine said earlier people were born half blind. That was exactly how I felt. Famine removed the blindfold, but Peter was giving me the bigger picture. A scary picture. Even though I had no clue until now, I still should have listened to my gut. I should have noted those 'red flags' as he put it. I knew Famine was dangerous, but hearing all this, put a bitter taste in my mouth.
It also confused me. "You mean even though he is half-demon, he's more dangerous and powerful than a regular demon?"
"No, but he has more authority and control here."
"Authority over what? Or who?"
"Not us. We just happen to live in his district. His authority is to oversee deals between Hell and humans. Anyone who signs a contract with him is monitored by him. He also gives demons access to this world."
"Wait, he brings demons here into the world?"
"Yes. Remember, humans can't go to the other plane without help. Demons can't come to this plane without help. So any full human or full demon needs assistance going to a plane they do not belong – but Famine belongs in both. Like I said, that's why he is the perfect middleman. He's a bridge. He can take you to the other plane. He can bring demons into this one."
This was wild. Out of this world wild and insane. Famine was basically walking proof of Hell. He was doing the devil's dirty work here; he was the link between Earth and Hell. My god.... My mind was just a mess even thinking about it. I was curious to know more about these deals, how it worked, but I was too snagged on something else.
"So that's why demons are here? Because he gives them access?"
"Yes, in his district anyway."
"That means he sent those demons after me. The woman in the road, the girl at the party, the thing that dragged me underwater. He must have brought them here."
"That would be a safe guess, but I don't think he brought them here. Those demons were instructed to kill you. He wants to make a deal with you. That's why I think he is a separate issue. The demons after you were probably sent from a different district, so he has no power over them."
Being wanted by two districts working for Hell? Damn, I was never this popular in high school. "Even if they are from different districts, shouldn't Famine and those demons they have the same goal?" Instead, one wanted a deal. The demons wanted me dead.
"Famine and those demons have separate intentions, but Hell will still benefit no matter who gets to you first. Because weather you are dead, taken, or used... it all results in the same goal: stopping you and your abilities from being used for the good of people."
This insane subject again. This 'ability' thing was still the most outrageous claim to me. "You can have wings, be my demon bodyguard, but you cannot convince me it's because I have some 'ability' that makes me super valuable. Famine said he couldn't even see what it was. So please enlighten me. What abilities?" I asked with exhaust.
"That's the thing. I don't know, they don't know, but it's clear you have abilities. You give off a certain energy. And the fact that we can't figure it out and can't get into your head is alarming."
"This 'abilities' bullshit is hard to swallow. But Famine said something similar. "When he took my hand and tried to read me... he said something was blocking him. He said I was an unusual case."
"You are. Even more unusual is that you weren't on anyone's radar until you moved here. Because trust me, with your energy, you should have been dead or taken a long time ago." Letting out an annoyed sigh, he looked to his watch as he mindlessly wandered out towards the front of the boat. "Christ, it's going to take forever with you."
"Who brought me out here again?" I chuckled, standing to follow him.
Turning to me, a controlled aggravation crossed his face. "Who just saved your ass from a vile piece of shit? You think I wanted to waste my day on you? We wouldn't be here if you didn't act stupid. We wouldn't be here if I could alter your memory. Don't make the mistake of thinking I want share any of this with you."
The gentle waves rocked against the boat, and filled the silence that was necessary for me to gather my scattered head. Fully exposed to the sky and air, the mist collected against my face, but it could not cool my heated face. He was an asshole, but I couldn't deny those words. He was giving me the answers because he had to. The answers I never should have wanted.
"Then why are you protecting me? If Famine wants my abilities, if demons want me dead, what do you want? Why do you follow me around when I'm a waste of your time?"
Blank faced, he searched my gaze. "You became my assignment. Famine represents the ugliness in the world. Jamie and I represent and protect humanity. It would be a disservice if I let you get killed."
"All the times you protected me, it's out of... nothing but obligation?"
"Yes. And Jamie seems to have grown fond of you."
Despite how much I could not stand this guy, his words filled my chest with an ache. Nobody should disregard someone like he just did. It was just... shocking. Especially for someone who apparently stood for goodness and humanity.
I arched a brow. "Do you even care if I live or die?"
"Not really."
"Let's say you found me dead. You would not be phased? Or feel anything?"
"No. I would be disappointed that I failed my assignment, but that's all."
Peter dropped so much on me – and without a shred of empathy on the impact. I didn't let his frustration, his watch-checking, or his insults bother me much. But this? It didn't feel good knowing the person keeping me alive didn't think I was worthy of it.
Disgusted, I walked back to the patio and slid open the door to head inside. One second later, a hand stopped me just before I could walk into a suddenly closed door. Yes, he caught up to me and acted that quickly.
"Alright, I do care, just not much," he said, turning me to face him.
Blinking at the quick movement, my eyes adjusted to suddenly being swallowed in his gaze. Those words caught me off guard more than the speed. Being only two feet apart, those words made me study him closely. That stone face was always his shield... but I saw the slightest flush in his cheeks at sharing such 'vulnerable' words. I had to presume he didn't admit to caring about anything that often. Jeez, what a complicated man.
My disgust shifted to curiosity. "It's that hard for you to admit that you care about life?"
"No. I can admit I care about life." Then, his tone turned warmer and teasing. "It's just hard to admit that I care about yours."
I welcomed the shift to a lighter air. "Yes, how shameful. I can relate though. If I gave a shit about you, I wouldn't want you knowing it either."
"Well, it's a good thing you don't then, huh?" he smirked.
"Exactly. You're a nuisance that won't go away."
"Thanks. I feel the same way about you."
I rolled my eyes, but had to fight a smile – and fight to not admire his damp locks and square stubbly jaw. Being close to him, his sage cologne didn't help either. "Well anyway, I'm sorry you're embarrassed about having a heart," I said more seriously. "Wait, do fallen angels have hearts? Like a beating living heart?"
"We do."
"Out of everything you've told me... that might be the one thing I don't believe."
His eyes flowered with amusement. "What if I told you I had wings? Would me having a heart still be more shocking?"
My own heart jumped. "You have wings?"
He searched my eyes for a long second. For everything he has shared with me... he excluded himself from a lot of it so far. Then again, I am sure he didn't mind that. Peter was reserved. Now, I understood why that may be. It's not like he could share the truth about his life with most people. Yet, I could see a small shine in his eyes, a tad of excitement despite his caution.
He didn't say anything, but his expression showed he was getting a kick out of this. Or rather getting a kick out of me. Yeah, he must be messing with me about the wings.
"You are a walking contradiction. You know that?" I chuckled. "First, I've never met an asshole with a heart. Never met an angel without wings either."
"That's right. You never have."
What? Wait, so he wasn't kidding? "No," I said skeptically. "No, you don't have wings...."
He tilted his head and cocked a brow as answer, showing the most subtle tilt of his lips.
"Seriously? Wait, there's just no way, I would have seen wings by now. You're fucking with me, right?"
Again, he just watched me contemplate the bait he tossed.
"Yeah, you're fucking with me," I said more confidently.
Yet, he wasn't. His eyes stayed steady on my face as he backed up towards the front of the boat, out in the open mist and gloomy daylight. Then, he removed his shirt. Was he being serious then? If he had wings, where were they?
Crossing my arms, I watched him drop his shirt. I hate to say this... but he really did have a nice toned chest and torso, with just the right amount of muscle to be complimenting. It also allowed me to see a few scattered tattoos on his chest. The most prominent was a flower at the top right of his abdomen, with vines and smaller flowers trailing to his side and waist. I looked away before he thought I was checking him out. Bottom line though: the only wings he had though were from the dove on his arm. So why did he take his shirt off?
"Are you trying to impress me?" I snorted. "Or are you actually going to show me something?"
"I can probably do both if you come closer."
What was he up to? I walked up to him with caution. Taking my wrist, he watched me closely, attentive to my expression... all while he guided my hand through the air, behind his shoulder and—
Gasping, I pulled away and stepped back. What was that?! Oh my god. My hand was in mid-air and touched something solid behind his back. Something that I couldn't see.
"Calm down. Don't throw up again," he mumbled, bringing me back to him. This time shifting until I was facing his side and part of his back. "They are not visible to the human eye, but you can still feel them."
My heart jumped, eyes growing. Peter did have wings. But there was nothing to see. I blinked and eyed his strong back. There was nothing except for an inked spiral design that covered his strong upper back and spine. Other than that, there was nothing.
Yet... there was something. I swallowed and cautiously raised my hand back up. Slowly, I reached behind his back, hovering my hand closer. Then, my hand in the air... felt a solid resistance. Holy shit. There was something solid, something real, but my wide eyes told me there was nothing but thin air. I could feel it though! He... he truly had wings. They were just invisible.
Throat growing thick, my breath caught. Layers of thick and course feathers existed under my fingers as I started to glide my hand. Gauging the size and shape of his large wing, I followed the long course feathers with my fingers, tracing it in my mind. Wow, this was a big wing! The top curved higher than his shoulder before arching out – far out too when he miraculously extended it. I had to step away to trace it until my hand followed where it curved in towards the back of his thighs.
This did it. This intense moment was a reality-check.
"Oh my god," I whispered. Seeing there was nothing, but knowing and feeling that was not true... it was mesmerizing. My eyes watered and it truly hit me. It all hit me. This was real. All of this was real.
My hand started to shake after I finished, but I wasn't scared. I was simply shocked. Head craned to where I faced his side, Peter was diligently watching me when my blurred vision snapped to him. "So, is this why I'm on your boat? Is this why you thought I would want to run away from you?"
He nodded.
"Well, I'm not scared."
"No?"
"No, it's... it's crazy, but I'm not scared. It's unreal and beautiful."
A heavy anxiety began to creep in. Inhaling unevenly, I ran a hand through my hair. My life would never be the same. It was clear now: I had been living in a world I knew nothing about. I mean I was standing here, with a fallen angel, and touched his wing. A calm tear finally fell down my misty cheek, but I quickly wiped it away.
"Are you sure you're not scared?"
"It's all scary... but I'm not scared. I'm overwhelmed," I scoffed, moving to his other side to feel his other invisible wing. My eyes stayed brimmed. This was physical validation of everything today showed me – including mankind's biggest mysteries was. I chuckled in disbelief.
"You're taking this a little too well."
"Don't worry, after a few hours, I'll probably have a break down," I nodded, shaking my head. "Can you fly then?"
"No, I just use my wings as a portable fan and that's their only purpose."
My expression dropped with a glare. "Pardon me, smartass, for not wanting to assume how it works. Penguins have wings and can't fly."
He rolled his eyes. "Well, I can."
Wow. Truly, it was so... unbelievable and beautiful. Can't say I've met too many people that had wings and could fly. I couldn't help but grin. "You should show me."
He didn't say anything for a moment. I fully expected this jaded boring man to shoot down my exciting request, but I was stunned. "Only if you come with me."
"Into the sky?! Oh, no. No, not happening. I'll watch you flap around, but my ass is staying down here."
His lips curved. "You aren't scared of my wings, but you're scared of heights."
"I didn't say that." Even though it was 100% true.
"You don't have to be defensive. Anyway, maybe another time then. We should head back to shore."
He turned to head inside, but I reached out and grabbed his arm. Despite the information... real awe sprouted within me. Especially upon feeling his wings. That didn't make him suddenly tolerable; yeah, don't kid yourselves. The fact that this was real, he was real, I couldn't help it.
Facing him, breathing hard, I stared up into his eyes. They were so real and human. His misty arm hair, the density of muscle, the warm blood beneath his skin, it was surreal. I didn't understand. We didn't even get to his role in everything and his true nature. That made this even more miraculous. And while none of this coming to light excused rude behavior... it absolutely added more depth and mystery to this guy.
I placed my hand over his heart. I could feel it beat gently under my palm. It was so contradicting to what I learned about him. "You're not human," I started in a whisper.
"No," he said, looking away.
"Yet you have a heart like one. And emotions like one."
Even with a stone expression, he seemed a little uncomfortable. "In a sense." His eyes wouldn't meet mine. For the first time... he was the awkward one. Clearing his throat, he stepped back and away with annoyance. "It will be dark soon, so we should get back to the marina," he said, striding away.
That was a first. Since when did anything phase him? Especially me? Honestly, my clogged brain really couldn't care right now. As Peter took us back through the fog and docked us, all I could think was... was today even real? Or was I sitting in a looney bin? It had to be real – if I was crazy, I couldn't be this creative!
I was given priceless knowledge today, but I couldn't appreciate the scale of it yet. There was no real way to appreciate something so otherworldly and ultimate. This was not meant for my ears, for anyone's ears. For that... I would be grateful and humble. I would be. First, I had to start accepting it. Including everything he still needed to explain.
***
We continued my mythology-coming-to-life lesson at Peter's house. I followed him up the left staircase that mirrored the one on the right; they curved up to the open second-floor. There was enough space for a little sitting area overlooking the living room. Hallways extended to the right and left, but we entered the glass French doors in the center behind the sitting area.
My stomach tightened as we stepped into his office. I knew I would walk out a different person; I was already a different person compared to earlier. Hell, maybe I wouldn't have to walk. Peter could fly me on out of here and all the way home! Yeah, I just could not get over his wings. Heaven, Hell, demons, angels, abilities... no big deal. But wings? Holy guacamole, folks.
"How are you sitting in a chair? How don't you bump your wings into everything? I don't understand how you even can wear clothes," I said, sitting across from him.
His office was the size of two master bedrooms. Books lined the shelves along the walls. What stood out the most was the skylight ceiling. I've never seen anything like it, but since it was dark outside, the standing lamps offered a warm light. There was a leather couch that split the room in half, its back to the double doors. That's where I sat, facing the rest of the room and his desk in the back corner.
Having rolled his desk chair out, he was slouched into it. "It's as if my wings aren't there. I make my wings materialize at will."
Oh. Like it was that simple. "That's physically impossible."
"Not for me," he said in a bored voice, resting his head back. "If you attempted to feel my wings right now, they wouldn't be there."
"Why can't I see them when they are there?"
"There are things all around you that aren't visible to the human eye. People are not meant to know about this side of reality. You're not meant to know any of this."
"It seems like I am," I mumbled mostly to myself. "So you have wings, you can fly, you can heal. Since you're a fallen angel, do you just... never die?"
"That's right. I never die."
While his wings were amazing, those words were far more daunting to me. I should have been more cautious in my questions if I wasn't ready for the big answers. It made me once again assess him. I took in his stocky yet lean built, his active-wear pants and shirt, his dirty blonde hair now dry. It was hard enough to accept he wasn't human, but... it never occurred to me that he was older than he appeared.
"Wow. You're old as dirt then, huh?" I chuckled uneasily.
He had a hard time not smirking. "Do I look old as dirt?"
"No, but it makes sense. You act like a grumpy old man sometimes," I teased.
"Only when I have to put up with you."
I studied him. "Well? Fess up. How old?"
"Old," he said with finality. "As far as everyone else is concerned, I am a healthy 28."
Message received. "I guess that's good enough for now," I sighed. "Anyway, you said people aren't meant to know or see certain things. That's why you tried erasing my memory, right?"
"That's the law, but there is more to it. Jamie and I were assigned to you. So we needed you to forget all the weird things that kept happening, but the biggest task was protecting you. That's why our encounters were not coincidental."
My eyes widened. "The night we met, and I spilled beer on you... you mean you made that happen?"
"No," he said flatly. "That was all you. No tricks there."
"Good, I'll happily take all the credit for that one."
"We did intentionally go there that night though."
"All 'coincidences' after that were intentional too," I said to myself, shaking my head. "Every time I saw you, every time I hung out with Jamie... it was all planned," I exhaled.
Early on, I learned Peter was following me, but didn't realize how much thought and planning went into it. Like hitting Peter's jeep because of that deer. Jamie apologizing for his brother and asking to hang out – and the times we spent time together after that. Running into Peter on the trails, the pizza diner with Liz, the crash and party... all of it. While I understood now it was for my own good... I couldn't help but feel invaded.
He must have seen I wasn't pleased. Pushing himself to roll his chair a little closer, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Listen. You might feel weird learning all of this, but—"
"Might?"
"But just remember that we are Hell's competition. We needed to protect you and figure you out. Jamie was naturally up for the job of getting closer with you. Since he's friendly, you gravitated towards him."
Averting my gaze to the floor, I bit my scowl. While I was trying hard to take it all in, I couldn't get past his brother's name. I was pissed... but I couldn't help but feel just more embarrassed and hurt. The one dude here that I trusted played me hard. "I still cannot grasp that he knew everything. I... I questioned him so many times," I groaned. "He always said he knew nothing and just wanted to be my friend."
"Jamie was just doing his job. It's easy for him to get close to people."
"At least you weren't putting on an act like him," I said sourly, my hands forming fists.
"He had to keep our secret, but he wasn't putting on an act. Jamie really is that free-spirited and social. We just used that to our advantage. One of us needed to get closer and bond with you. You better believe I wasn't going to take that bullet," he mumbled.
"Why though? Why go so far to become friends and constantly hang out? He could have just stalked me; you certainly were a pro at it."
"We needed to get a read on you. We couldn't sense what makes you so powerful, but physical contact allows our senses to heighten. We can see more specifics about you. But every time we tried, every time we took your hand, we got nothing. By the way, that is... unheard of," he said with an annoyed voice, rubbing the back of his neck. "I should be able to get into your head. Believe me, I tried several times the night of the crash."
I remembered that night perfectly. Slamming into a tree, breaking my leg, being trapped. When he pulled me out, he was weirdly... open and sweet, something I've never seen from him. Maybe he was nice because he planned on me forgetting about it? After all, I had a hunch he didn't want people seeing his sweet side. It didn't matter though. Because when he took my hand, he was just as confused as when Jamie took my hand.
"Even with touching your arm and holding your hands, I couldn't get a read on you or your abilities. Even worse: I couldn't tap into your memory of the crash. I healed your leg, and for the rest of the night, I tried getting into your head to cover it up. I couldn't though. I've never had that happen," he said in a disturbed tone. "I planned on you forgetting the whole incident – the demon chick in the road, the crash, your broken leg. But you remembered everything."
I sure did. I was almost grateful it didn't work. I didn't want to be oblivious and in the dark. Peter's little talent of altering memory... that was such a crazy and scary concept when you really think about it. If he can tamper with memories, that must mean he could see memories. It sounded downright invasive. Thank god I was defective; I did not need him seeing my pitiful part in the 6th grade talent show (my comedy act was so bad, I was booed off the stage). Was it even possible for him to see that far back anyway?
"I think it's insane that wiping people's memories is normal for you. That it's law. You can just pop on in someone's head and poof, shit be gone," I said in a joking but tense tone. "I won't complain that I'm immune, but I wonder why."
"I have no idea. The only influence I have over you mentally is making you fall asleep."
"Which you are no longer allowed to do anyway," I added in warning.
He hummed in amusement. "That's right. You banned me from doing it again."
"Exactly. So you really don't have any power over me," I said proudly. "Which is how it should be anyway."
"No, it really should not be that way," he said with a small chuckle. "There are reasons I am this powerful. It's not for my own gain or good, Josephine. It's for yours. It's for everyone. Tampering with memory spares people from this burden. Can you really say you feel better with all these answers?"
"Well, I feel better knowing! I feel better that I'm not left in the dark anymore."
He pursed his lips. "You weren't in the dark before. Now you are. This side of reality can be brutal." Pausing, his stone expression showed a tinge of sympathy. It synced with each word that followed. "Look at what you are experiencing right now. Do you find all that you learned to be worth it?"
"I... I think this is incredible. I think it's fucking insane and scary and terrifying," I said, eyes watering again. "I feel it's worth it. It's worth knowing what is happening in my life."
He stared at me for a long second. "You'll come to learn it's not worth it. For the rest of your life, you will have this knowledge. You will never look at life the same. You now have cemented facts I can't take away from you. You have the truth about life, death, and higher powers, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not. Since I have 'no power' over you, you are deprived of any high hopes, faith, wonderment, or curiosity." He paused. His blank stare at the wooden floor was thoughtful. Contemplating whether of not to continue. When he did... he spoke in a softer and slower voice. "It is difficult to understand other people's perceptions... but your normal, tumultuous, and oblivious short life is a wonderful gift. You were not meant to be dragged into this. So you may be happy that I can't get into your head, but I am truly sorry that I can't."
Damn. There was weight to his words. He was wise, experienced, and knew his world better than I did. He wasn't wrong; this was a heavy fucking burden dropped on me. It was scary and shocking, but... it was beautiful too.
Yes, there is so much I still don't know. I still had everything to reflect on. But there was relief in knowing why I was being hunted (even if it was horrific). There was relief in knowing there is life after death. There was relief is knowing there is a Heaven, even if Hell exists. And there was gratitude in my heart; I was given knowledge nobody else gets. There were all these positives with the negatives... but he saw none of them.
What happened to this guy? What ruined this guy's outlook? "I agree." Resting back into the couch, I searched his eyes. "It is difficult to understand other people's perceptions."
A subtle smile reached his lips. "I admire your stubborn spirit."
I swallowed. Despite all the information, I still knew nothing about him. That was absolutely what he wanted, but based on his 'perception,' I felt sad and sorry for him. "I wish I could admire yours, but I can't," I whispered.
It sounded like one of the many snarky comebacks we tossed back and forth today. It wasn't though. I really would love to see the side of him that either died long ago or was hiding. Maybe that side of him didn't exist. If it did... it was heavily damaged.
However, my words hit a chord. His dark brown gaze gained an intensity, his prominent brows flattening. It made me see... things weren't just beneath the surface. They were shoved, buried, and ignored. Because in that moment... there was a window that showed my words had an impact. There were things he would not say out loud. Things that Peter would love for me to never know – for both his sake and mine.
So, let's see where we stand, shall we folks? Jamie took home the trophy for 'most disappointing' reveal of the night for being a liar. Famine earned 'most disturbing' for his line of work. And Peter: 'most unexpected' revelations. I didn't expect for him to have fucking wings (yes, I'm still heavily tied up on that one). I also didn't expect his bleak view of it all either.
For now though, my curiosity over him could wait. The big picture was tumbling down hard on me. There was just... so much. "I think I'm good for the night," I said with an uneven breath, getting to my feet. "This was just a lot to take in. And I need time to absorb it. So is there anything else I should know? For now, anyway?"
He shook his head. "Nothing of immediate significance. I expected you would drag this out longer," he scoffed.
"Yes, I am sure you cannot wait for me to leave."
"You got that right."
"I... just had all I can handle for now."
"I understand."
I turned and walked towards the open doors. Peter was so close to getting rid of me... but karma is a bitch. Because just before I could step out of his office, there was an echo from the front door slamming shut. Then, Jamie's voice traveled through the house.
Yes, that's right. It was unfortunately... and unmistakably... Jamie's voice that carried these next words through the house.
"Dad, you home?!" he called out. "You could have told me you were taking the boat out! I would have brought my happy ass along," he laughed.
I froze in place. Um... dad?
Well... time to switch trophies. Jamie now earned 'most unexpected' revelation. I don't know about you guys, but I did not see that coming. All I could do was blankly stand there and stare off beyond the double doors. Blinking a few times, I numbly turned around and returned to the couch. This ought to be interesting.
"What was that you said, pops? Nothing of immediate significance?" I threw at Peter.
"God fucking dammit," he groaned under his breath, sagging further down into his chair. "I was so close to having you gone."
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This one took a while to post because this was A TON of information and I kept reorganizing it. This is also the length of two chapters to keep it together.
Was this too much information? I tried condensing what I could. Anyway, hope you guys liked it!
Please let me know your thoughts. I am putting more work into this than another of my other books, so I would appreciate it!