Danzelle's POV
Kanina pa ko gising, pero kanina pa rin ako nakapikit. Natatakot akong buksan yung mga mata ko. Dahil alam ko sa na oras na dumilat ako, kailangan ko nang harapin yung katotohanan.
Sana umalis na lang ako kaagad. Sana hindi ko hinayaang tulungan pa ako ni Zedri. Dahil hindi ko deserve 'yun.
Pinatay ko si Marlee. Ang kapatid ni Zedri. At wala siyang kaalam-alam na yung taong tinutulungan niya —- ay yung taong dahilan ng pagkamatay ng kapatid niya.
They will hate me for sure. Ash, Zedri, and their mother will hate me to death once they found out that I am their sister's murderer. They will kill me, and I have to let them kill me.
Bigla akong napadilat nung may naramdaman akong kamay na nagpunas ng luha ko. Then my eyes saw Zedri. Lalo akong napaiyak.
"Danzelle..." he cups my face and plants a soft kiss on my cheek. His lips found mine and I jerk away.
I don't deserve your love, Zedri. I killed your sister.
I sat up and noticed I'm back on my bed —- in Marlee's room.
"Danzelle." He whispers, and I felt my heart sink. Lalong bumigat yung loob ko nung niyakap niya ako ng napakahigpit. "I love you."
I bit my lower lip and swallow back my cry. Umiling ako. You should hate me.
He tilts my chin up so he can see my eyes. I noticed something sad in his eyes. "I love you, Danzelle. Please tell me you love me too."
For the second time, I shook my head. Hindi na ganyan ang mararamdaman mo once na malaman mo yung totoo. You will disgust me.
He closed his eyes as if he is in pain. Then he nodded. "Get some more sleep. Gabi na."
Pinagmasdan ko siyang maglakad papalabas. He looked back at me when he was about to close the door.
"I'm sorry." I whispered as I let my tears fall from my eyes.
He rushed back to me. "Danzelle—-"
"I'm sorry. Zedri. I'm sorry." Hindi ko na mapigilan na umiyak ng umiyak. Tumayo ako at nilapitan siya tapos nun lumuhod ako sa harapan niya. "It's all my fault... kasalanan ko kung bakit... kung bakit..."
Zedri is staring down at me. "What, Dazelle?" I felt his arms on both of my shoulders.
"Your sister!" Tinignan ko kung paano nagbago yung tingin niya sa akin. "Si Marlee... kasalanan ko kung bakit siya namatay. Iniwanan ko siya... hinayaan ko siyang mamatay... I'm sorry, hindi ko alam..."
Wala na akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanya kaya hindi ko na siya tiningala. Unti-unting nawala yung mga kamay niya sa balikat ko. Then he took a step back.
"I'm so sorry, Zedri... hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko nun, iniwanan ko siya... tatakas kaming magkasama pero iniwanan ko siya... kasalanan... kasalanan ko... I'm sorry."
"Get out of my house." He said softly, but I know he's just controlling his anger. Tiningala ko siya but his eyes are closed.
Tumayo ako tapos nilapitan ko siya. "Z-Zedri..."
"Get out of my house. Now." He took another step backwards. Doon ko napansing umiiyak na pala siya. "Just get out, Danzelle."
I deserve this. I tried to scold myself for crying. You are a murderer, Danzelle.
He pointed at the door. "Out. Before mom finds out what you did."
You said you will understand. A part of my heart says. You said you will listen. You said you will help me start again.
But you murdered his sister. I slowly wipe my tears away and headed outside.
The last time I did this, I was running for my life. Pero ngayon, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako tumatakbo. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, ni hindi ko alam ang lugar na 'to.
I wanted to laugh at myself. Kasalanan ko ang lahat. Alam ko namang wala nang patutunguhan yung buhay ko pero umasa ako na mababago ko ang sarili ko. Hinayaan ko ang sarili kong maniwala at umasa na may second chance pa sa akin.
Pero sa lahat ng mga ginawa ko, sa pagiging makasarili ko, wala akong karapatang humingi ng isa pang pagkakataong mabuhay ng maayos ulit.
Maybe I was running too fast that I didn't notice the car approaching. Imbis na tumabi ako, huminto ako at hinarap yung sasakyan. I am ready to face death, I'm sure death wanted me so bad now.
Pero biglang huminto yung sasakyan. Tapos may lumabas na lalaki. It took a long moment for me to realize it's Ash. He is holding a gun. "Hey."
Napalunok ako nung tinutok niya sakin yung baril. "Pinapatakas na kita nung una, diba? But you didn't listen, killer." Iniwasan ko yung tingin niyang napakalamig.
This guy wanted to kill me so bad since he first laid his eyes on me. At ngayon gagawin na niya. Siguro tinawagan siya ni Zedri kaya siya nandito.
"Come with me if you don't want me to blow your head off." He snapped. Wala akong ginawa at tumayo lang ako sa harap niya.
And where would he take me? In prison?
Bakit hindi niya na lang ako patayin? This is the perfect time. No one will know and no one will care when I die.
Tiningala ko siya. "Go on and shoot me." Nagulat ako nung tumawa siya tapos binaba niya yung baril na hawak niya.
"Come with me." Sabi niya. Matagal kaming nagkatinginan pero wala pa rin akong planong sumama sa kanya.
"Patayin mo na lang ako."
"No way. I'm not like you. Now, get inside." Lumapit siya sakin at hinila niya ako papasok ng kotse niya. Umiyak ako nung hinawakan niya ulit ako. Binitawan niya ako ang pinagbuksan na lang ng pinto.
"Saan mo ko dadalhin?" Tanong ko sa kanya. "Papatayin mo ba ko?"
"I don't know." Mabilis niyang pinaandar yung kotse. "But I need to ask you a few questions before I do anything to you. Now shut up, one more cry and I will shoot you."
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He stopped his car in front of a big house. "Home." I heard him say as he points the gun at me. "Don't try to escape. Get out."
Lumabas ako ng sasakyan niya and I was surprised when he is already by my side. The gun is nowhere to be found again. Hinila niya ako papasok ng bahay niya. "What do you want to know?" I asked him.
"Of course, about Marlee's death." Sabi niya. "I wanted to know how she died, and how come you are still alive."
"I killed her—-"
"You think I'd believe that shit?" He spat, I winced as he tightened his grip. "I know you didn't kill Maryleen. You can't even kill yourself." Napaiwas ako ng tingin at sinubukan kong hilahin yung kamay ko pero nanghihina ako. "I want to know those fuckers who killed Marlee after they forced her into whoring. I know you can help."
Para akong nabingi sa mga sinabi niya. Hindi siya naniniwalang pinatay ko si Marlee? "Pero hinayaan ko siyang mamatay— it's my fault. Para ko na rin siyang pinatay."
"Stop thinking that everything is your fault, woman. Cut the drama and try to help. I will still shoot you if you cry."
I stared at him. It's like staring at the new Ash.
"Are you still going to kill me if I helped you?" I found myself asking.
Hindi niya ako sinagot pero ngumiti siya.
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~FL01