"Billie, are you leaving? Why are your cases packed?" Billie's mother looked from the suitcases to Billie and back when she walked into her daughter's bedroom. A deep frown appeared between her eyebrows.
"Yeah. I'm leaving. I didn't tell you sooner because I've only just changed my ticket."
"But why?" Her mother shuffled on the spot. "Are they sending you to Singapore already?"
"No, something came up." Billie sat down on the edge of her childhood bed. "But I want you to know that I'm going to make more of an effort to come here in future, if you want me to."
"Of course,Billie. It would be wonderful to see more of you. Why wouldn't I want that?"
Billie braced herself for what was going to be the most difficult conversation of her life, and patted the space on the mattress next to her for her mother to sit down.
She took a deep breath. "I'm in love, Mom. And I'm afraid you might not agree with my choice of partner."
Her mother shook her head. "I don't understand, Bil. It's great that you've met someone. We all need a man to take care of us in the end, although I can't say I'm not disappointed you didn't stay married to Tristan." She took Billie's hand in her own and squeezed it. "But I'm trying to come to terms with that, and as you say, it's your life and you're old enough to make your own choices."
"It's not a man. I'm in love with a woman." Saying those words out loud to her mother was terrifying, but she'd thought long and hard about it, and it needed to be said. "She lives in France. That's where I'm going." She nodded towards her suitcases.
"No." Her mother shot her a puzzled look and immediately let go of her hand. "Did you just say... a woman?"
"Yeah, I did." Billie turned to her mother, but failed to make eye-contact.
"No. That can't be right. My daughter is not a sinner. No O'Connell's is a sinner and I'll be damned if you become the first."
Billie tried to keep calm. It was exactly the reaction she'd expected, but it was still a slap in the face. "I'm not a sinner, Mom. I'm just in love. And there's nothing wrong with being gay." She took a deep breath. "Mr. Smith from across the road is gay and you don't have a problem with that."
"No, he's not. How can you say that?" Her mother sniffed. "Mr. Smith is a respected member of our church community. He's married with two children."
"He's still gay." Billie felt bad for dragging Mr. Smith into her mess, but she needed any ammunition she could get her hands on to try to get through to her mother.
"Stop saying that word, Billie. Even if he were, which he's not, he wouldn't act upon it."
"Yes, he would, and he does," Billie said matter-of-factly. "He's been having an affair with the postman for as long as I can remember. It's not a secret, a lot of people know about it. I saw them talking to each other outside church on Sunday, and believe me, they're still very much an item. Now what kind of life is that? I don't want to live in secrecy."
"You're lying." Her mother turned her head, avoiding her gaze. "Mr. Smith is no..." She can't even say the word. Billie let out a deep sigh.
"And neither are you," Maggie continued with tears in her eyes.
"Don't you want me to be happy?" Billie didn't raise her voice. She stayed as calm as she could, knowing it was the only way.
"Of course, I want you to be happy. You're my daughter, my own flesh and blood." Her mother closed her eyes, holding on to her chest as if she had trouble breathing. "But not like this, Billie. Not like this. If you only give me a bit of time, stay a bit longer, I can find you a handsome young man with a..."
"I'm leaving," Billie interrupted her. "I've told you what I wanted to get off my chest and I'll leave you to think about it. We don't need to talk about it ever again, that's up to you. But I'm not going to make a secret of my love life either. You can pretend this conversation never happened. However, if someone here asks me, I'm going to answer honestly, because I'm not ashamed."
She stood up and gathered her bags. "I've left my French number on the kitchen table. You can call me anytime if you want to talk and I'll visit you soon, if you want me to."
"Is your father driving you?" Her mother asked in a thin voice.
"No, I've ordered an uber." Billie moved her bags to the front door. Her mother lingered behind her, unsure of what to do or say. "I thought you and Dad might want to talk. So, either you can tell him, at some point, or I will." She gave her mother a sad smile before heading out. "I hope to see you soon, Mom. Oh, and tell Dad he's just being overprotective about the chickens. There's nothing out there."
"Wait," Her mother walked over to her and took her into her arms, hugging her like it was their last goodbye. "Please think about what you're doing. I'll be praying for you, Bil."
Billie released herself from her mother's grip and kissed her on the cheek. "I don't need to think about it. But I think you should."
****
Kai looked over the bedroom once more, feeling accomplished. It looked presentable again, with fresh flowers on the nightstand and a new pair of slippers next to the bed. Bit by bit, she'd erased every trace that Billie had left behind. Her food in the fridge, a wineglass with her lipstick marks, left out on the terrace, and a piece of paper with phone numbers and notes scribbled on. It was all gone. She could have hired a cleaner. It was a big house, and making it look spotless wasn't an easy job.
But she needed closure, or at least some kind of ritual to rid herself from the memories of Billie that wouldn't seem to go away, no matter how hard she tried. Kai had waited for weeks until she finally felt like she could handle it. Now, there were clean towels in the bathroom, soap and shampoo in the shower, and she'd bought a new set of bed linen for the bed in the yellow bedroom. She'd cleaned all the other rooms too, just in case her new tenant preferred to sleep upstairs or wanted to have guests over.
"At least this one is a man," she said to Gumbo. "So Mommy doesn't have to worry she'll do anything stupid this time." Her heart sunk when she spotted a hairpin in the plant pot next to the bed. She picked it up and examined it. It was Billie's. Regret flushed through her, just like every other time she'd been reminded of her. It still hurt, all the time. Forget about her. Just let it go.
She walked into the kitchen and threw the hairpin in the bin, before pouring herself a generous glass of wine. Then she went to work, preparing a welcome meal for her new guest. Having a branch in Monaco, he would potentially come back if he liked the house, so she wanted to give him the best welcome she could. Marcus Obermeier from Austria had seemed like a nice enough man in their correspondence. Kai had been honest with him and told him she lived in the annex. He said he didn't care. Marcus just wanted somewhere to stay for three weeks while he closed his latest real-estate deal in Monaco.
Somewhere discreet, where he would be able to bring 'a friend' from time to time, as he put it. Kai guessed he was referring to his mistress, but she hadn't pried. Just in case, she made sure she had enough of the chicken stew for two, a bottle of chilled white wine in the fridge, and candles on the kitchen table and outside, on the terrace. It was starting to get dark now, and she lit a couple to create some atmosphere.
An hour later, the buzzer for the gate sounded throughout the annex. Fresh out of the shower, Kai slipped into a pair of shorts and put on a white linen shirt before she rushed outside towards the driveway. She smiled when she saw the car pull in. The Jaguar was an excellent choice, she thought, listening to the tires screeching as it came to an abrupt halt next to her Porsche. I think I like this Marcus already. The door swung open, and as Kai pulled her face into a welcome smile, she realized it wasn't Marcus that stepped out of the car.
"Billie?" Kai stared at the woman who was walking towards her now, failing to comprehend what was happening.
Billie was still as beautiful as she remembered. Her hair was bouncing over her shoulders as she walked, and she was dressed casually, in sneakers and a short summer dress. Not again. Please don't do this to me again. "What are you doing here?" Kai took a deep breath, unsure whether to keep her distance or to take
Billie into her arms. "I've got a tenant coming, right about now."
"Marcus?" Billie said. "He's not coming." She didn't look smug, or amused. She looked humble and nervous as she closed the distance between them. "I arranged alternative accommodation for Marcus, so this is my rental for the duration of his booking." She looked up at Kai. "Believe me, he's more than happy. I got him a place with a butler and he's the kind that likes to show off. He even promised to give you a five-star rating as it's technically still under his name." She paused. "So, you can either ignore me, shout at me for doing this, or hear me out."
Kai didn't know what to say as she looked into the feline eyes that would surely mess her up all over again. It was dangerous, she knew that. It would open a door to a whole new level of pain. One that included false hope, disappointment and so many more sleepless nights. But she couldn't look away. Billie showing up was the last thing she'd expected, but it was also the most beautiful surprise. She felt so much pain and joy and excitement to see her again, that she was afraid she might break down.
"Please hear me out," Billie begged again when Kai didn't answer. "I just want to talk to you." She swallowed, and Kai could see tears in her eyes. "I've missed you. God damn it, I've missed you so much, Kai. Every day was a struggle, knowing that you were here and I was across the other side of the ocean. You were out there, living your life, probably moving on without me. The thought of you forgetting about me was unbearable, and I imagined I'd slowly fade from your memory one day and you'd say; "Billie? Who was that again? Oh yes, of course. She was one of my tenants and we had a thing back in the day.'"
Billie shook her head. "And that would be all." She looked up at Kai. "And that's not acceptable to me. Because I think we belong together, Kai. I believe I was meant to come here and meet you. I was meant to get to know you and lose myself with you. So please just listen, because I need to tell you this."
Kai's shoulders dropped. There was no way she would walk away again. She had missed her so much. "Okay." Kai's hand trembled as she reached out for Billie's. "Let's sit down."
Billie took her hand and followed her towards the direction of the pool, where they took a seat next to each other on one of the sun loungers. Kai shivered at the contact when Billie's arm brushed against hers. She thought of letting go of her hand, but she couldn't. Not now, when she was finally here.
"I turned down the job in Singapore and I've put down a year's lease on an office in Monaco," Billie said, getting straight to the point. "Marcus Obermeier's development." She turned to Kai. "You know, your tenant who was supposed to arrive today?"
Kai frowned, letting the words sink in. Then her expression softened as relief washed over her. "You're moving to Monaco?"
Billie shook her head. "No, I'm moving to France, but I'm starting my own business in Monaco, consulting on environmentally friendly manufacturing. It wasn't easy, I had to move my entire capital here, but it's all done now, and I've got my paperwork sorted. My temporary work permit will arrive next week."
She took Kai's hand. "Look, I don't expect you to take me back here and now, and maybe it's too late, but I would really like to start over if you'll give me another chance. I know it's a risk, moving here, but the fact is, I love France, and I feel like this is a place I could finally belong." She pursed her lips, searching for the right words. "I've missed you so much that it hurt. Every day without you seemed pointless." She paused and took a deep breath in an attempt to hold back her tears. "Even if you don't want to do this, I've got to start making a home for myself somewhere, and all I know is that it's never going to be New York or Singapore. I've been happy here."
Kai squeezed her hand. "You're really moving here?" Her eyes met Billie's for a brief moment. They were filled with emotion, welling up when she lowered her head, staring down at their entwined hands. "Wow."
"If you don't want me here, I can stay in the guesthouse in town for now," Billie continued, "I'll be looking at some properties this week. I decided to put all my stuff up for auction in California, so I'll be starting from scratch." She managed a smile. "I kind of like the idea of a fresh start. It's like you said; life is an empty sheet right now, and I'm in the lucky position to paint anything I want so why use the colors that I'm bored with? I want to be here, with you. And if it's too late, well... I still want to be here."
Kai's face broke into a smile. "I don't want you to move to town," she said, her voice unsteady. "I want you to move in here, with me. Unless it's too soon..."
Billie held her breath at the words she'd been dying to hear. She wiped away a tear and turned to Kai, taking her other hand. "Really? You'd want me to move in with you? I mean, I'd love nothing more, but you know what you're saying, right?"
Kai nodded and closed her eyes as she lowered her forehead against Billie's.
"I love you, Billie." There was a silence. "I wasn't sure if I could love again, but I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."
Kai's wall had lifted, and she finally allowed herself to feel. It was liberating to let her tears run freely, and to finally say what she wanted to say. She took Billie into a tight embrace, burying her face in her neck.
"I love you too." Billie smiled through her tears when she spoke the words, sinking into the embrace. They held each other for minutes, until Billie looked up, searching for Kai's lips. She'd been longing for them, craving her kiss since the day they'd parted. "Kiss me," she whispered.
Kai took her face in her hands and brushed her lips lightly against Billie's, drawing a quick breath from her mouth.
"I've missed you so much,Bil." She took Billie's bottom lip between her own before pulling her in, deepening the kiss.
Billie felt Kai's warm mouth on hers, then her tongue as she tilted her head and parted her lips. She moaned, running her hand through Kai's hair, down to the back of her neck. The warm sensation that spread through her core only grew stronger when Kai lowered her down on the sunbed and sank on top of her. Her hunger for Kai's kiss and her touch came back tenfold, leaving her desperate for more.
"God, that feels good." Billie sighed and turned her head as she let Kai devour her neck. She felt Kai's teeth scrape over her skin, her wet mouth on her ear as she listened to her ragged breathing. The sound of it made Billie want her even more, and she arched her back in delight when Kai moved a hand under her dress, up her thigh and around her waist to unclasp her bra at the back.
"Take it off," Kai said, sitting up and straddling her.
Billie barely had time to take off her dress and her bra before Kai's lips and hands were all over her again. She'd never felt more wanted in her life. Kai touched her with such conviction, such passion. The feeling of her warm hands was almost too much to bear. Kai bit down on her nipple, softly at first, before taking it into her mouth.
"I need you," she said in a hoarse voice. Then she moved back up to face Billie and kissed her long and deep. Billie moaned, wrapping her legs around Kai's hips that were thrusting into her. She moved her hands underneath Kai's shirt, but Kai grabbed her wrists and pinned her hands above her head in a tight grip. "Soon." Her eyes were dark and full of anticipation. "Let me have you. Please."
Billie took in a deep breath and nodded when Kai slipped her fingertips under the edge of her panties, still holding her wrists with her other hand. "Can you feel how much I want you?" she whispered, spreading her legs.
Kai smiled as she moved her hand further down, stroking the sensitive skin between her thighs before slipping a finger into her wetness. She bit her lip and closed her eyes in delight as she moved into Billie, adding another finger when Billie lifted her hips, begging for more. She kept Billie's wriggling hands in place, teasing her with slow strokes. She looked more aroused than Billie had ever seen her, moving into her in a slow, steady rhythm while she moaned quietly each time her fingers went a little deeper.
"I can feel it. God, you're so wet." She opened her eyes and watched Billie drown in ecstasy, crying out when she penetrated her faster and faster, until she couldn't hold back anymore. She finally let go of Billie's wrists, allowing her to pull her into an all-consuming kiss while she sent her over the edge, holding her fingers deep inside of her. She felt Billie's contractions, the trembling of every limb. She heard the release in her voice and saw the intensity in her eyes. It was beautiful.
"Fuck, Kai." Billie sighed, her chest heaving up and down. "Only you can do this to me." She pulled Kai in and kissed her again.
"Only you can make me do this," Kai said. She was still inside of her, pulling out slowly before she pressed her hand down between Billie's legs, drawing another gasp from her mouth. She let her fingers run through Billie's folds, up to her stomach and over her breast, resting her hand there while she licked her lips.
Billie looked up at Kai's aroused expression, overcome with a need to get her out of her clothes as fast as she possibly could. She traced Kai's back, skimming the top of her waistband before she moved her hand inside, marveling at the softness of her bottom. She squeezed it, and looked up at Kai with a cheeky smile.
"I want you out of these clothes within the next thirty seconds because I have plans for you."
--
A/N:
I guess our favorite couple is back? Don't be too complacent about it. 😐
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