I saw a person standing with her both hands on the wall.
Panting like crazy as if she came here running with all the energy she could gather.
Sweating to the point of making her neck wet on that morning.
She saw me.
I saw her.
And the cutter dropped on the floor,
The moment my body met hers.
I ran toward her.
I hugged her.
How funny it is that the person I believed the least was now the one I believed the most.
I don't know what happened to me but maybe it was because her eyes were different.
Her face looked agonizing while I was the one with a hole in my hand.
Her face looked sad. It looked miserable.
But it was all different from others.
As if she was feeling the same pain as me.
As if she was dying beside me.
Those eyes weren't questioning me but were answering me.
Giving answers to every damn thing I couldn't face.
They were talking to me.
Calming me.
Comforting me.
Believing me.
It's tiring you know.
It's tiring to pretend you are happy when you are not.
It's tiring to do this every single day.
It's tiring but it's important cuz you don't want others to know what you are.
It's harder to express than pretend.
But when someone who doesn't ask you to pretend arrives, it feels weird isn't it?
I mean someone who just comes and doesn't ask you what happened but knows what exactly to do.
Isn't such a person become a person you believe entirely?
It's just that when someone is willing to hold you without prying on what was wrong with you.
It's when you started believing that person.
Even though that person didn't do any trustworthy act, but still that person believing you makes you also start believing them.
Not looking at you as if you have gone crazy but with eyes, that are telling
It's alright.
Is when you know you can believe that person.
Trust that person.
Because that person isn't hesitating to trust you.
Maybe that's also why I was so willing to believe her that day.
I dissolved in her arms.
I forgot who I was or where I was or what I was doing.
I just wanted to make my home in between those arms.
I wanted to be there forever.
She flinched.
I guess it was unexpected.
But it wasn't unwanted.
She hugged me back but tighter.
She wrapped her big arms around my body. I thought I was caving into her.
And to be honest I wouldn't have minded doing that at all.
She drew patterns on my back to calm me down.
And whispered the words I so wanted to hear at that moment
"It...will be alright"
Sometimes Hearing those four words from someone else mouth than your own is more comforting.
Then you think.
And as she said that my breathing slowed down.
My heart calmed.
And I started breathing slowly.
Those voices died and never rose again.
And the only voice that resonated in my ears was hers.
Ma'am didn't say anything maybe she understood that I was calming.
So she left us alone.
As she needed to do her work.
Not like the world revolves around me.
But at that moment our worlds were revolving around us.
And I wanted to live forever in that world.
We hugged for 5 min straight because I wasn't ready to let go.
But I needed to let go.
I separated my body from hers.
And it already started to feel lonely.
She looked at me but I couldn't meet her eyes.
Scared, that what if they changed.
I would rather live in a dream of those than see a different version in reality.
She caressed my face trying to erase the ugly marks of tears on my cheeks.
"Charvi..."
She said slowly.
I melted at those words.
Those words were trying to be cautious of not scaring me or making me sad again.
How can she be so nice to me?
Do I deserve her?
Even after being so mean to her?
I looked up slowly but what I saw were two black eyes looking at me.
Those eyes were holding their tears.
Those eyes were hurt.
For me.
I never thought that a black ocean could exist.
Her black ocean eyes.
That was drowning me but this time I was the one who permitted it.
I drowned willingly.
We stared into each other eyes trying to see something that we never thought we could ever find in the first place.
My hands move without my permission and touched the ends of her eyes.
My hand caressed her face, while she felt every single touch of my hand.
She rubbed her face against my palms, Closing her eyes she lost in my touch.
A few seconds and I took my hands away. she didn't like it.
But she maintained her emotions.
She looked at me again and intertwined her fingers with mine.
Her every single touch was taking me to the heavens.
Her touch was burning my skin.
I felt something arousing in me, unleashing inside me, something untangling, something like ecstasy.
she lifted my left hand to see.
I could hear a thud sound in her chest. While she was examining my hand I was looking at her face.
She clenched her teeth while looking at two small holes on the back of my hand and a small cut on my wrist that could have become even bigger if she wouldn't arrive on time.
Why was she making that face? When I was the one with a hole in my hand.
She didn't try to ask what happened.
She took out a handkerchief from her pocket and started tieing around my hand.
It stopped bleeding but she still did it.
She tied it carefully and gently with trembling hands.
"Are u fine now?"
She asked.
"Yeah" I nodded.
While clasping her fingers that were trying to hold my right hand as my left hand was already settled in her hand.
She paused for a minute and asked
"Where do u want to go?"
"Infirmary?"
I looked at her and asked her through my eyes
'Where can you take me..'
And her eyes were telling me
'anywhere...
Wherever you want to go..'
I wanted to say take me away from here.
But her eyes were confiding to me that she wouldn't hesitate to do that.
So I didn't say it.
"Let's....go to the classroom"
I said slowly.
"Ok"
She said softly.
And she walked in front of me while I was walking behind her holding her hand like a toddler.
But then a sudden thought struck me
"What happened to your practical?"
I questioned.
She didn't say anything.
I stopped.
"Jane."
I said with a little stern voice.
"I can give it later."
"Jane! Have you gone mad? Do you know how important it is?! How can you miss it."
I said with a raised voice. I don't want to ruin someone else life because of me.
I don't want to do that again.
She came close to me and then placed both hands on my face and slightly bend her knees.
"Charvi...listen," She said.
"Nothing in this whole world is more important than you."
"Nothing."
She said desperately while tightly holding my cheeks.
How could she say those words so easily?
She said it in a way that sound so believable.
I squeezed her hands that were placed on my cheeks and slid them down
Can I believe her wholly?..
.
.
"Ok"
I don't care anymore,
I wanted to trust her.
I will believe her.
We walked in the corridor till we reached her room And I told her to go in. She doesn't want to go but I looked at her strictly and she went in.
I went to my class and saw my friends standing worriedly.
Anushka ran toward me
"Charvi you okay?!"
She said desperately.
Somehow they came to know that I cried.
I hide my hand behind my back and pulled the sleeve of my coat to hide my hand.
I nodded and gave her my signature smile that no one can be suspicious of.
That no one can tell apart not like anyone did until now.
She was still worried and all the other friends were too but I calmed them down somehow. They also tried to cheer me up with jokes.
Ma'am came to the room to talk with me she asked me if I wanted to give the practical later.
I said I wanted to give it at that moment.
I don't want my miserableness to be an opportunity for me.
She said okay and I completed my practical with my classmates.
She kept an eye on me throughout the practical.
I could see that she was worried about me.
I was relaxed that she didn't see what I was trying to do with the cutter or else she would have called my parents.
In the viva too she didn't ask anything difficult.
Maybe she went easy on me.
Everything ended.
And my friends from the second half arrived at school.
They heard about how I cried.
They were worried about me and I was trying my best to relieve them from any stress occurring through me.
"Charvi you are def gonna kill me someday!"
Ridhima said.
"Me too!!"
Pari exclaimed while giving me an eye.
"Ohh guys! Stop it."
I said smiling.
"I am not dying until I graduate high school."
I said loudly emphasizing every word.
They both gave me an eye.
I winked at them.
They sighed.
Our time to leave the school arrived. And I waved goodbye to them.
They were still worried but more for their practical this time.
I walked out of the class and saw Jane, leaning on the wall beside my class waiting for me.
"Let's go together"
She said while extending her hand for me to hold.
That day was a roller coaster.
Either I would have died that day.
Or would have welcomed a better life.
"Ok"
I said.
And I grabbed her hand tightly.
She showed me the way and we walked on that same corridor, we walked before but this time....smiling.
But I didn't know there was a third outcome too.
********
So guys i would like to tell that i am going in a little hiatus. Well of 6 months so, i won't be updating untill then.
I am a senior in high school now and i think I need to focus more on my studies rn.
So i am sorry.
And i will be back soon.
Bye!!