WED DEC XX 12:01
shithead 👺
MY SIBLING SENSES ARE SCREAMING
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
AND YOU ARENT ANSWERING ANY PHONE CALLS
Did you finally hit the hay?
Were you taken to the afterlife?
Thank ARCHONS, I get your room now
ME
20 missed calls???
Are you fr right now?
shithead 👺
Oh
She's alive
Too bad your room is mine
ME
okay leave me alone now
shithead 👺
No, as your little brother I cannot do that
ME
what do you WANT
shithead 👺
ME
YOU ARENT SOME NINE YEAR OLD KID ANYMORE
shithead 👺
ME
WHAT DO YOU WANT
IM TRYING TO SULK IN PEACE
shithead 👺
AH
AHA
MY PLAN WORKED
ME
Fuck off twat
DONT YOU DARE SEND A MEME
shithead 👺
too late
ME
i hope you run into the top of the doorframe
stub your toe
slam your fingers in a door
shithead 👺
bro who pissed you off
ME
It's a long story
shithead 👺
Good thing I've got time on my hands
ME
No
Let me sulk in peace
shithead 👺
Again as your little brother
I cannot allow you moments of peace
Especially when I know my older sister is sad
ME
Wow Lucas having a sweet side to him 🤯
shithead 👺
?????
look here oldest
Just because we're siblings doesn't mean we're always gonna be at each other's throats
Now tell me what's wrong
Or else
ME
Or else what?
shithead 👺
I'll tell Mom about that one time you broke her favorite coffee mug when we blamed it on the dog
ME
THATS BETRAYING THR AUBLIJG CODE
shithead 👺
then speak up
ME
I have three devils in my life
Wait no two
shithead 👺
three???
ME
Two.
shithead 👺
Ah but you said three
ME
Not anymore 🙎
shithead 👺
Who do I gotta go beat up
ME
Someone who's probably your height
shithead 👺
Easy
I'll distract them while you go for the ankles, then I'll go for their neck 😁
ME
Come to Mondstadt then
shithead 👺
Why are you in Mondstadt
ME
Vacation with friends over winter break
shithead 👺
Are you going to come home
I miss you
Jk
ME
Brat.
shithead 👺
Stinker.
ME
No, I told Mom I wasn't coming home this time. Maybe over spring break
shithead 👺
NOOOOOO
You can't do that
ME
And why not
shithead 👺
Because I'm going to Fontaine for a field trip over break
ME
Then what about the summer?
shithead 👺
As long as you don't come back when my friends are over
ME
Excuse you ???
I'm the oldest sibling so I got dibs
shithead 👺
You moved out as far as I'm aware
ME
I'M IN UNI
IN SUMERU.
IN ONE OF THE TOP UNIS IN TEYVAT.
HENCE THE NAME
shithead 👺
All I hear are excuses
ME
I want to punch you so bad right now
shithead 👺
That means I'm doing my job
So what made my sibling radar go off
ME
...
shithead 👺
Come on, I know you're keeping it to yourself
Don't do that
ME
It's a boy that made me cry
shithead 👺
A BOY
????
nah bro he made my sister sad
That shit can't FLY
ME
I haven't even really known him that long
shithead 👺
Known you long enough to make you cry
Unbelievable.
What if I come to Mondstadt rn to beat him up
Mom enrolled me in stupid karate classes
ME
Could be worse, could've made you enroll in the more elite martial arts ones
shithead 👺
Point is I will beat up the guy
No one messes with my sister
ME
You text like a fifteen year old
shithead 👺
Gotta act stupid for my sister to be happy ig
ME
Go back to doing whatever you were doing before you decided to invade my space
shithead 👺
ME
Why did I get a brother like you
shithead 👺
Why do I have a sister who hates my memes
ME
Because you used to just reply back with just a meme for each message
shithead 👺
Bro
ME
Bro???
shithead 👺
Guess what Milo did the other day
ME
Which one is Milo again???
shithead 👺
My height
Has a tattoo on his right bicep that circles it, yk like an arm band
ME
Is that the one who set off fireworks on the roof of the high school
shithead 👺
No that was me who did that
Anyways
ME
LUCAS ?????
YOU DID WHAT????
shithead 👺
Oh that's crazy bro
Milo found that girl's crazy psycho bitch older sister
ME
Oh you mean the girl who almost made me break Mom's vase
shithead 👺
I thought you did break it
ME
Maybe I did
I wanted to break that girl
shithead 👺
yeah she was a pos
turns out the sister is a lawyer
ME
WHAT
shithead 👺
Yea 💀💀💀
Milo found her profile online
He had his gf do some research and turns out she doesn't talk to her little sister anymore
aka mad dog
ME
I don't blame her, I wouldn't want a bad image hanging around me
shithead 👺
So who is this guy
ME
Mf switched up the Convo rq
shithead 👺
Who is the guy 🙂
ME
Some guy
shithead 👺
How old
ME
22
And no I didn't break the vase, just remembered
shithead 👺
🤨🤨
ME
THE TWO HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON
shithead 👺
well it seems you want to break one and save the other
ME
Yeah I want that prick to get a taste of his own fucking medicine
shithead 👺
You're in Mondstadt right
ME
Yeah
shithead 👺
How much longer are you going to be there
ME
Uhhhh
Two more days, then I got a few days before I go back to school I think
shithead 👺
Thought ur uni winter break was 3 weeks
ME
I honestly don't know
I just worry about my homework too much
I'm drowning over here
shithead 👺
Okay anyways
I can be in Mondstadt in a day
ME
no you are not taking a special trip here
shithead 👺
I'm in Liyue rn
ME
What for
shithead 👺
I told you
Mom made me go to karate class
ME
All the way in Liyue???
Yeah right
shithead 👺
BRO
okay you got me
ME
Stupid ass.
shithead 👺
I'm telling mom
ME
Tell her
What she gonna do
shithead 👺
Find out you almost broke her vase too
ME
TWAT
shithead 👺
be nice to me 🙎
ME
You have the mental capacity of a five year old sometimes
shithead 👺
Just means I'm the funny sibling
ME
Shut it
shithead 👺
ME
😒😒😒😒
shithead 👺
What's this dumbass of a guy that made my sister cry like
ME
Tall, stupid, smart, arrogant, jackass, had a similar situation to yours except not quite the same
shithead 👺
Oh
ME
Oh?
OH?????
You are so dry
shithead 👺
ME
I feel like I would invade his personal life if I told you what happened
I didn't even hear it from himself
shithead 👺
wdym
ME
Take the hint dumbass
shithead 👺
You left me with the most vaguest hint in the whole world
ME
There was a crazy psycho delirious girl in his life
shithead 👺
Oh I see
We both attracted negatives into our life
Still doesn't excuse him from making you cry
ME
Yeah I know
shithead 👺
So are you still in contact with him
ME
No he told me he blocked my number
shithead 👺
wtf
Okay I'm going to beat him up now, I've made up my mind
ME
By the time you would get here we would be leaving
shithead 👺
I'm getting his ass during summer break
ME
If I'm even still talking to him
shithead 👺
He blocked your number right
ME
Says he did
shithead 👺
Give me the number
👹
ME
Archons no
shithead 👺
And why not
ME
Because I'm not that evil
shithead 👺
Nah he made you cry
Give me the number
ME
No I don't want to click on his contact
shithead 👺
You ass
ME
I'll tell Mom about the fireworks on top of the school roof
shithead 👺
WAIT WAIT WAIT
DONT U DARE
ME
TRY ME
shithead 👺
MOOOOOOOOMMMM (Y/N) IS BEING MEAN TO MEE
ME
someone save me from your dry ass
shithead 👺
Okay that's it I'm telling mom
ME
I SAID GO AHEAD
I'll gladly tell on ur ass
shithead 👺
damn you
I hate you
ME
I hate you with every bone and cell in my body
shithead 👺
So u gonna tell me what happened or am I gonna have to keep prying open this can that keeps closing back
aka YOU 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
ME
as I said
This guy made me cry so I called him an asshole and a prick
shithead 👺
Make sure you tell that guy the only person who can make you cry and get away with it is ME
number two, I agree he sounds like a fucking prick
I can get Milo to jump his ass
ME
No you can get suspended from doing sports if they find out
shithead 👺
You see my lovely small brain celled sister
That's the thing
IF
ME
I know you did not just call me that
I hope dad whoops your ass with his cane
shithead 👺
Bro he makes sure to knock his cane into my shin every morning
That shit hurts
ME
It's deserved
shithead 👺
Quit getting me off track
Tell me more
ME
What more is there to tell 💀
shithead 👺
Plenty
Like how you two started talking
We never talk anymore
The last I heard from you was about your psycho roommate
Our family seems to draw them in huh
ME
Yea you got that right
shithead 👺
Start talking, quit twiddling your thumbs round
ME
rude ass
shithead 👺
ok u shithead
ME
screaming rn
I got to know him when he texted me by accident
shithead 👺
Huh???
wdym
ME
Use your eyes and read the sentence
It's how it started
shithead 👺
You mean to tell me you fell for a stranger?
ME
well I mean
We got to know each other through text before we met
shithead 👺
Sounds like a potential kidnapping case could've come from that
ME
Okay but it didn't
shithead 👺
It's okay he would've returned you anyways because you're annoying
ME
WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM
shithead 👺
the fact you're not telling me anything
ME
Because personal space is a thing
shithead 👺
I will come over to Mondstadt tomorrow night if you don't tell me
I will tell Dad that you're seeing a guy all by yourself
ME
HEY HEY DONT DO THAT NOW
shithead 👺
START TALKING WOMAN
ME
bro you make me so frustrated
shithead 👺
Oh the stairs are calling me to go see Dad
ME
THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY RIGHTS
shithead 👺
I'm going down right noooowwwww
ME
OH MY
FUCKING HELL
FINE
shithead 👺
ME
so his roommate gave him the wrong number and that wrong number was mine
Mf had me panicking over an assignment I thought I never did when I didn't have any
Anyways I sorta threatened to text him everyday if he blocked my number(haha blackmail)
Then turns out we both ended up going on the same trip because we had similar friend groups
shithead 👺
Yeah
Maybe you shouldn't have ever changed your phone number
ME
I wanted Ma to know I could handle being an adult and having my own phone bill is one way to show her
shithead 👺
Continue there is still more
Don't lie
ME
💩💩💩
His name is Alhaitham, his roommates name is Kaveh
When I heard Kaveh was on this trip, I had every intention of asking him if Alhaitham was his roommate. But the prick kept dragging me or keeping me around him anytime I tried getting close to Kaveh
shithead 👺
gross that asshole likes my sister
ME
Yeah right
shithead 👺
Denial is a river in Fontaine
ME
Shut it twerp
shithead 👺
mememememememe
ME
Is that your way or mocking me
shithead 👺
Congratulations would you like a medal?
ME
YOURE SO ANNOYING
long story short the prick got mad at me for stopping his crazy stalker from going after him and I almost got stabbed lol 🤙🤙🤙
The crazy bitch had a tracker on the bottom of his car even though she has a restraining order 😭😭😭
shithead 👺
Bro that's fucking wild
Wait
...
ME
??
shithead 👺
YOU ALMOST GOT STABBED ??!!!
ME
IM FINE
shithead 👺
AND THAT DICKWAD GOT MAD AT YOU FOR STOPPING HIS STALKER?
ME
YEAH HE DID
shithead 👺
bro
Did she get arrested?
ME
Yup
shithead 👺
Ungrateful fucking shit
That's it
I'm driving to Mondstadt, it's my turn to harass people
ME
WHAT
shithead 👺
I told him that you wanted to meet up with me
He said I could go
ME
Stop gaslighting me
shithead 👺
Do you want me to get him on the phone?
I'm packing my bags rn
ME
NO
DONT
shithead 👺
too late
ME
No if you come then it makes things worse
shithead 👺
Why is that
ME
You'd make things worse. Please don't for my sanity
shithead 👺
You had one good reason to stop me and you blew it
ME
Because if you come you have to pretend to know someone
shithead 👺
Huh?
ME
Mona went and said you knew one of the guys (Diluc) and that's why I came back home late two nights ago. It was a cover story because only Kaveh and Diluc know ab Alhaitham's past
shithead 👺
Pay up
Or I'll blow up that cover before Barbatos can sense what's coming
As far as I'm concerned that prick needs to own up to his actions
ME
Regardless of how mad I am at him, I wouldn't be that low of scum to do that
shithead 👺
Good thing I don't care
ME
What's it gonna cost
shithead 👺
Free housing
Free meals
And fifty bucks to cover my gas
ME
Fine, you're gonna have to stay in my room though
shithead 👺
I will bring my own air mattress
ME
Or you can sleep on the floor
shithead 👺
Nah you'd be the one on the floor
Okay well
I will see you in six hours
ME
It takes almost two days to get from Natlan to Mondstadt.
shithead 👺
I told you already
I'm in Liyue
LMAO GOT YER ASS
ME
Choke on your spit
shithead 👺
LOL
You got a lot of explaining to do when I get there
Also whoever this friend of yours that used me in your cover story
I will torture her until she wants to become deaf
ME
Good luck with that
I think you two are going to get along too well
shithead 👺
🧍🧍
good more torture for you
okay I'm getting in the car
send me your address
ME
Hold on
*you have turned on sharing location*
shithead 👺
wtf
That's some nice ass houses youre staying at
ME
Yeah stinky little brothers don't need to be near em
shithead 👺
Dad said he loves you and wished me a safe drive
cya soon loser
ME
get here safely shithead
seen 1:20 p.m.
As you were about to put your phone back under your pillow, a text from the group chat between you, Kaeya, and Childe caught your attention.
The number that sent the text had to have been Childe's, but it was hard to tell as two other unknown numbers were added to the group chat.
Your eyebrow raised in confusion at seeing a picture of someone giving a thumbs up in front of the vacation house you were in. There was no message or anything, and two other reacted with thumbs up to the photo.
Boys are stupid. You thought, not having the strength to go down the stairs and see what was going on. Though it would have been way too late at that point as that photo was taken five hours ago.
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*coughs* I only got four hours of sleep and I nearly fell asleep during my class for work today but surprise double update day 🤯