Gwen had spent the last few days in the sanctuary, in a foul mood. Iszara was rough around the edges but still accepted. Her feelings towards the redguard have not changed. She was green with envious of how easy things seemed for her. Astrid said the test she was never given was passed with flying colors, she killed all of them instead of just one. The twinge in her heart lead her not to talk much to the woman and the others seemed to follow her suit, being a little cold to her. Whether that was subconscious of them to pick up on her feelings was anyone's guess.
They were her family and they tried to pick her up. All that being said, part of her knew that this woman was going g to be a member of the family as well. Iszara just needed time to grow on her. It was good for the brotherhood, after all. She walked into the room to Festus at the enchantment table and Nazir sitting at the table. Festus looked behind him then the old coot smiled and left quickly. Gweneith raised a brow, then looked to Nazir. "What's up with the old man?"
"I asked him to leave if you came in." Nazir smiled softly. "We need to talk." He motioned to the seat across from him. She took a deep breath and sat down. "Gweneith. Relax for us, please. All of us see the tension in your shoulders around her. You have nothing to worry over. We love you."
Her eyes widened at the words. "Seriously. We all love you. And I know why you feel this way."
"No you don't..." She shook her head.
"Yes, I do. You're jealous of her a little. Because you think she is the complete opposite of you." Nazir closed his eyes for a moment. "She is capable and strong, just like you, Gweneith. You are so strong and you don't even know it. Strong enough... To..." He sighed. "Take my advice."
She raised a brow, glancing to the bracelet on her wrist. "That I'm strong because I couldn't do it?"
He chuckled. "No. That sometimes you have to have a little casual fun. You've been cooped up in here since we found her."
"But if I leave!" She hit the table with a fist. Her shoulders slumped down, the woman starting to sob. "It's bad enough... I can't kill without a good reason. She kills mercilessly. I... Don't have a place here... Do I?"
He exhaled slowly. Nazir looked at her, reached out and placed his overworked hand on her shoulder. "Gwen. You have a place with us. Always. We are you family. You do have it in you. You will always have it in you. You are a member of this family. You are important to us. We would never toss you out. She is not here to replace you, silly girl. But you're pent up and tight."
He took a drink of his mug. "It is admirable that you can pinpoint your weaknesses. It is okay. You don't need to kill on cold blood. Astrid agrees with me."
"What?" She looked to him, slightly amused. "I am to follow her orders no matter what. That's our job. She points, I kill. I've accepted that."
"Yes. We know. We all know." Nazir sat forward. "And we all know what you want to do and you will do it. But we know that it will be easier if you physically can. She's wisely decided to give you contracts that house extraordinarily bad people." She leaned back in her chair, looking at him. "People you can kill without qualms. In the absence of such cases, you are full time with me, kid. Intel to make it easier for the others."
She perked up a little, actually giving him a smile. Nazir nodded seeing her elation he smiled and relaxed a little as well. This is what he wanted to see. "Now... This means you take orders from me until she hands you a case. You get that, right?" She nodded swiftly, eyes bright and he chuckled. "Good. I've got no work now that isn't for Iszara." He watches her brows gently furrow. "Whoa there. Astrid wants her to have them specifically to fully pull her into the family. Doesn't trust her yet. This isn't about her ability, it is about her loyalty. You more than proved your own."
"Thanks." She shrugged, laughing a little. "But until you get something, what should I do?"
Nazir took a deep breath. "Don't kill me..." She eyed him interestingly. "I've already told you, Gwen. Casual fun."
"You want me to practice sneaking around?" Her fingers tapped the table, leg fidgeting as she was getting antsy.
"You could call it that. I recall a certain man in Riften that was really upset watching you walk out of his life." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Would it hurt to get another drink with him? You need to loosen up. He can give you a confidence boost that I simply cannot."
"What does that mean, Nazir...?"
"Means you got a type and I saw you with him. Gwen, you were having fun. No need to be ashamed by it." He reasoned aloud, looking right into her eyes. Nazir was always good not beating around the bush. He was blunt with a hint of sarcasm. "Or were you going to tell me that laughing with him and staring into his eyes was torture?"
"Actually-"
"Gwen..." He glared with his chest puffed out.
"I was going to say he did make good conversation." She looked down. "Do you really think I need to?"
"Girl, you have been here buried in books for a week straight looking to make yourself more useful than you need to. Only to prove that we don't need her. In doing the work around here you only helped Astrid recruit her. You need time off, Gwen."
"Alright! ... Alright." She looked to him with her arms up. "You win. I do... Need time off. I... Do want to see him again." She finally admitted to someone she felt entirely comfortable around.
"And I'm sure he wants to see you again." Nazir chuckled a little.
She found herself smiling a little, only to then shake her head and stare at him with angry furrowed brows once more. "Now... Don't fall for Iszara." She watched him shrug. "Come on! She's just a pretty face."
"Honestly, she's not as pretty as you think she is but I didn't know you felt that way about me." He was chuckling.
"I don't. I just don't want her as my big sister. At least, not that way. Nazir... I'm kinda attached to you. I love you too." She shook her head. "I gotta get over this jealous thing he put into me. I was never like this. I hate feeling like this."
"Then you should probably go seduce you a forlorn Nord." He stood up. "No one is going to take your place in our hearts. No matter if she was death incarnate or not, you are one of a kind."
"Forlorn...?" She stood up.
"If you can't tell that he is in love with you girl, that will be our first lesson. Learning to read people." He patted her shoulder, pulling her into a hug. "You got better at it since joining us but you could still use work."
She looked down, trying not to smile or blush but they both came anyway. "I... Know how he feels about me... But how do you?"
"I told you, people are easy to read."
"He... Has probably move on already. No one would wait for someone broken like me." She looked firmly into his eyes with a nod. "But... You are right. I did enjoy his company. Getting a drink with him was nice. That's all I have left to look forward to. Small moments like that." She walked from the room to Nazir shaking his head.
The road to Riften was quiet today. It was long and cold but she needed to traverse it. She longed to see him. It was a strange feeling but the further she got away from the sanctuary the happier she seemed. It was as if the world was pushed her here and she wanted to dive in willingly.
She got there late. Of course she checked the Bee first, then a few other places but he was nowhere. She was staring at the trapdoor, wondering if this was the right move. She shook her head. It was their guild, she had to play by their rules. So she did what she is meant to do best. She gathered intel. Dropping down below the marketplace, she made her way into the sewers, her skin crawling as she did.
There were people in way, she slank past them carefully. There was a point where she thought they caught her and she held her breath for a long while, then continued on. She stood up while walking through the archway to a bar. Her eyes scanned the big open space, then to a sign. "I wonder how much business they get." She walked slowly around the bend, looking to the lights ahead of her. There was a man standing at the entrance. She looked to him and took a step back. They stared at one another before he cleared his throat.
"Do you have business here?"
She blinked and looked to her feet. "Well I... I was looking for someone but I think I have the wrong place, maybe. This looks nothing like..." She chuckled softly. "I'll just be going."
He looked to her and she turned fully, shoving her hands into her pockets. Her hope of finding him dwindled and she needed a place to stay. She would just find him in the morning. There was no way he would keep running into him. No one was that lucky. "Dirge, wait. Lass is with me." She turned around to see Brynjolf jogging up to the man, looking on at her. "And she is always welcome." He gave her a smile and her eyes moved down to the floor, trying not to be too embarrassed.
"Brynjolf... You're actually here."
"Of course I am. We noticed when a mouse comes into our ratway." He walked to her side. "You coulda used our front door."
"Not mine to walk in freely." She shook her head as he escorted her into the bar. "So I asked around."
"Cunning, as always."
"Complimentary, as always." She countered. "So... Listen." She turned to him at a small table. He watches with interest, a hand on his side. "There are things happening at my home. That woman I described to you. Astrid took her in. Things have been a little rocky and Nazir told me to take some time off."
"Rocky? Lass are you okay?" He seemed concerned, his voice strained. He moved in closer to her.
"Yeah... Yeah. I'm just... Well I'm insecure in my place everywhere it seems." She chuckled lightly, looking up into his eyes. "I... I'm so... Helpless."
"Never." She found herself chewing on her lower lip. "Gwen, when will you see what I do?"
She laughed lightly. "When will you learn I am hopeless?" They both looked at each other for a little while then laughed. She slowed down for a moment then stood on her tip toes. The woman kissed his cheek, and his hand moved to it. "I'm still hopeless..."
"No... You're not." She felt an arm snake around her waist, pulling her delicately to him. "You are absolutely the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. You had me from the moment I saw you."
"I'm bro-"
"You are not broken." He looked into her eyes. "And I would spend the rest of my life getting you to see that, if you would let me." His hand moved to her cheek, caressing it.
"Brynjolf... You are far too nice to me."
"No, I'm not." He chuckled a little. "Too nice would be giving you the key to our safe." He paused. "Not that there is too much in there."
"Oh... I'm sure you guys are doing good. I mean, you're here. You're capable. A fine man."
"Now who is being too nice?" His nose touched hers.
"I'm only telling you how I feel." He closed his eyes, leaning in a little more. She felt his breath on her lips as he leaned down to meet her.
"How you feel, hmmm? I'm a fine man?" He smiled before his lips lightly tugged on hers. It was a slow burn but the fluttering kisses deepened after a bit. She closed her eyes and fell into his arms, the man holding her fully now. Her breath sped up forcing their kisses to break. Both were swept up into it, now looking at one another. She felt like she ran miles. He felt light for the first time in years. "Gweneith... Stay here tonight." She nodded slowly, he then swept her off her feet, carrying her once more.
He moved with her eyes locked on him, arms around his neck. He glanced to her once in a while. It was not long until they were in his bed together, this time they were able to take off armor. She lays in his arms, in just her underclothing, closer to him than she had ever been. The man's heart pounded on his chest and she felt every beat. "Brynjolf... Your heart is going so fast."
"I told you, lass. I'm in love with you." He kissed the top of her nose.
"Just relax a little, man. I'm just a girl." She looked into his eyes.
"You are far more than just a girl." She felt insanely hot. He held her closer, closing his eyes. "You're safe and warm here, lass. Sleep." She nodded a little, cuddling into his chest. He closed his own eyes, longing to drift off once more next to her.
The morning came without their permission. Brynjolf woke first, keeping her close with a smile on his devilishly handsome face. Her eyes opened shortly after he woke, looking up to him, hair a mess and sleep still on her face. She chuckled. "Morning..."
"Good morning." He corrected and she averted her eyes, a little flushed.
"It is..." She dared to look back at him. "About... Last night..."
He eased his arms from around her, exhaling slowly and closing his eyes. "Oh, lass. I'm sorry. I took advantage of a delicate state, didn't I?" He sighed. "I should have known be-"
"Brynjolf. I haven't said a word yet. Are you going to let me talk, eventually?" Her hands moved to his chest, pressing on it lightly. She watched him nod. "Tell me..."
"Tell you?"
"Tell me again, Brynjolf. Say the words. Please."
He looked into her eyes and spoke softly. "I love you, Gweneith..." She eased and he watched her melt into a smile. He couldn't help but feel a little used right now but he was wondering if he should care. He did love her, only after telling her that he figured the woman would pull back, be never figured she would exploit that. He was a little disappointed but it was always a possibility.
"I... I'm scared as hell." He raised a brow, trying to figure her out. "It feels... Just so good to hear. But I somehow also just know. I know how you feel. Brynjolf. I came here to..." She chuckled, looking into his eyes. "I cam here to fuck your brains out, actually." His eyes widened, staring at her with an opened mouth. "When you said... It again. So clearly, earnest. No matter how much I wanted to. Needed it. I couldn't." She looked into his eyes. "I'm scared of what it means to let you love me. I'm scared of hurting you. I'm scared of someone taking my spot and I am scared to death of being alone." She closed her eyes. "I know how I sound. I sound heartless. I suppose I am. I was going to use you."
"Lass, trust me when I say that you 'using' me would be the best thing that ever happened to me."
"You are thinking with your cock." She smirked a little, and they both chuckled. "What I did was wrong. I can't release my tension with you." She looked to him, then sat up, hugging the covers to herself. "You don't have to do this, you know."
"Do what?" He sat up, watching her carefully.
"Be in love with me." She looked to her lap.
"It's not a choice." He laughed a little, leaning towards her. "But... I uh..." He found himself smiling a little brighter. "I was right about you. You're not heartless."
"Have you been listening?" She leaned in, brow raised.
"Yeah." He chuckled. "You wanted to use me but couldn't bring yourself to."
"I want to... Still." Her eyes traveled down his form. "You're....attractive, you know that, right? I want to badly to sit on your lap and just keep going until all I can think about is the sounds you make."
"Lass don't tease me." He shook his head. "Knowing that won't happen is kind of a let down."
"I didn't mean to." She shrugged lightly. "I can't help what I want. But I can stop talking about it at least. Will you... Tell me again, though?" She watched his face as she asked again. The woman felt so selfish but he merely smiled to her.
"Gwen." He pulled her close, between his legs and her back to his chest. He leaned down slowly, whispering into her pointed ear. "I'm in love with you. I will tell you as many times as you want me to."
"Part of me never wants you to stop." She placed her hand on his arm receding into his warmth. "I'm still scared."
"I won't hurt you." He rubbed her arms, closing his eyes. "I also know that no matter what I can never really assure you." He found himself enamored with her once more, the disappointment gone. It was only slight and short lived, something he was thankful for. "I do have to work... I'd hate to leave you bored."
"Workaholic." She teased, looking up at him. He simply shrugged, knowing the woman was right. "It's a problem. My family doesn't want me to work, they want me to relax and get my confidence back. Hard to do when they won't let me do the one thing that I'm good at."
"You're a workaholic too..." He laughed, poking her nose. "So... I know you won't join but do you want to work with me today?" She gasped, bolting out of his arms and turning to face him.
"You'd let me?"
"Lass..." He caressed her cheek. "Of course I would..if it is what you want." He watches her eagerly nod. "They told you to relax. This will let you relax."
"You are the best, Brynjolf!" She pushed herself into him, pressing her lips to his in a chaste kiss. He blinked before chuckling a little. She smirked seeing him this sheepish made her want to tease him a little more. "Sorry I couldn't contain my joy."
"I don't want you to, Lass." He brushed her hair to the side. "That means you are starting to feel better." She looked into his eyes, shaking her head. "Gwen, you don't have to be normal all at once. Take your time but I will never be upset if you are happy. Little wins."
"I will never be normal... You get that, right?"
He leaned back, still staring at her. After a moment he blew out some air. "I... Do, Lass. I'm not normal myself. I've not been normal for decades. I know what things like that can do to you. You don't have to be normal to be happy."
She looked into his eyes, before getting up. "You cut right through all the bull shit, don't you?" She tried to laugh, but it was caught in her throat.
"Well... I mean with you, I try." He stood up too. "It is hard with the way I feel sometimes. I want to be straight with you, always. It's why I said that I loved you far too swiftly. It's also why I'm going to say this... I want you to wear guild armor today when you work with me. Because I want you to feel like you are apart of this, joined or not. A little selfish, yes, but you are apart of this."
"Because you feel for me?"
"Yes." He opened a chest at the foot of his bed. "You're always going to be a small part of this guild because of it. Sorry Lass, you are stuck with me and you're now another connection the guild has with the brotherhood. Delvin is good friends with Astrid, I'm happy to be friends with you."
"Oh... So you don't need me for a connection to my family."
"Nope. But... I want you." He looked to her, then she walked to the chest, looking down. "I had it made after we met."
"It's... Like yours but it's black... With red trim?" She took the armor from the chest, looking up to him.
"I wanted you to be comfortable." Her heart melted looking at the man. He cleared his throat then averted his eyes. "W... What?"
"It was... Thoughtful." She lowered the armor for a moment, pushing her hand up to his cheek. Guiding his attention to her he watched her expression sweeten. "Never change. So... What are we doing?"
"I don't know yet... I have to get orders from the guild master, Mercer. I can Hazzard a guess. It might be minor things, but I am hoping it is larger, because you're here. Vex did just blow a big job."
"She blew a job?" The woman started to put the armor on, and he noticed her smile. "So even women that strong can fail."
"Everyone fails now and again. No one is perfect."
"I dunno Brynjolf... You're almost making your point invalid. You seem pretty perfect." She looked to him now, fully dressed. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail, eyeing him. He was blushing, something she found so cute. "In some ways, too good to be true."
He placed his hands on her shoulders. "You think I'm that good?" He stopped himself from leaning in and kissing her. "Let's go... Before I let you get to my ego. I think Mercer will like you." She was nervous to meet someone new, but decided to trust him.