I didn't have the chance to talk to Tooru in the few days that followed the play. I felt as if I needed to let him alone for a moment or he might snap at me for some reason I know too well. I didn't have the strength. But I couldn't let another Christmas be ruined again.
My uncle organised a little party for Christmas with a few people so we could have fun and not get bored. There will be the whole volleyball team, Sao, Ena and Irana. I wasn't sure Tooru was coming, since things seemed to be tense between us, but I wanted him to come. I needed him to come. So, today, December 24th, is the day I decide to move my ass and walk to Tooru's house so I can talk to him and make things clear.
I knock at his door and his mother responds.
"Oh, Y/n, what a surprise!" she exclaims.
"Hi" I greet rapidly. "Is Tooru here?"
"Yes, he is upstairs in his room." She lets me in and I take off my boots, winter coat and hat covered in snow. "Please, follow me. I'd like to offer you something to drink. Do you like hot chocolate?"
"Yes, I love it."
"Well, it's settled. I'll make us two hot chocolate."
She gave me a kind and honest smile and I followed her to the kitchen. In the past, I didn't have any chance or any opportunity to speak with Tooru's mother, mostly because we were always at my house. But now that she is the one to answer the door, I'm happy to be able to spend a little time with her before going to see Tooru. Maybe I could talk to her about him in the mean time.
I waited while she prepared the hot chocolate.
"Where are your mugs?" I asked.
"In the cabinet at my left."
"Okay, thank you."
I walked so I was at her side and opened the cabinet she pointed me. I took out two mugs and closed the door. She then poured the liquid into the two mugs and gave me one. I took a tiny sip, just so I did not burn myself and she insisted to sit at the table. I took a place and she took another. We were facing each other.
"You're kind, generous and full of love. I never wondered why my Tooru fell in love with you."
I blushed a little, not talking back to what she said, too shy to even think of something to say back. I took another sip of my drink.
"However, I wonder what he did to make you fall in love with him."
"I don't know. Maybe it was the way he was teasing me. Or the fact that he always wanted to protect me. I know he had plenty of girlfriends before me and that he never loved, and I never thought once that I could change him. Where we are today... is just the results of our past."
"You've gone through a lot, I can say. But Tooru told me you started getting to know each other better."
"It's been a few months."
"Almost a year ago, he came home from a Christmas party you three were attending, in tears, telling me you cheated on him. He fell asleep on my lap, that night. I have never seen my boy so hurt before and I didn't believe what you did. When he came back to me after learning the truth a week or so later, he cried again. He said he would never forgive himself for what he did ; which is doubting you and not believing you. I wasn't angry with him for acting as he did. But I'm pretty sure I hated the guy as much as you and Tooru did. He loved you so much and I'm pretty sure he holds the same love toward you today."
"I didn't know that..."
"No, of course, you didn't. Tooru always preferred to hide his feelings. The pain, at least, because he never hid his love for you, whoever he was with and I know it, because you wouldn't be here today. So let me ask you something, Y/n. Do you love him?"
I smiled, looked down at the hot chocolate in the mug. I sighed, then lifted up my head.
"Yes."
The answer didn't need to be harder than this.
"You both grew up so much. These last months where you took a big break, learning to know each other better so you don't make mistakes, made you stronger. He talks to me way more now, you know. He never did before and it warms my heart."
"I wouldn't doubt it."
"He came back home after the play you played in and had a smile on his face, but it quickly faded. He said he was scared... He was scared you didn't love him anymore and that you loved someone else. He said he tried to be happy for you, to not show his pain, because he wanted to believe you, to believe that you would not lose your feelings. What is this pain he was talking about, Y/n?"
I thought about Ren. I knew what it was, but I wasn't going to reveal his secret. I will reveal the truth, but not the complete version of it.
"A guy with who I played with in the play. His character was the love interest of mine. I never even thought of falling in love with him. I had good times, he was nice, but I only ever considered him a friend. Nothing more."
Tooru's mother's worried expression changed to a happy one, making her smile. "I feel sorry for this guy you're talking about, whoever he was, but I'm happy for my boy and for you. I'm pretty sure you would have been even more broken if you realized you had fell out of love for him."
I didn't even tell her about Ren's feelings, but it felt like she guessed them...
"I don't think it's even possible now, Miss Oikawa. To fall out of love for him, I mean."
"Please, call me Lona. You're no longer a stranger. You'll soon be my daughter in law."
I blushed.
"Ah, you children." she took a break before speaking again. "Are you nervous? Do you feel like you might regret it?"
I looked up at her, worried.
"No. Regretting anything would be not having him by my side for the rest of my life."
She smiled again after losing it. My mug was almost empty.
"Thank you for this talk, Y/n. I'm glad we had the chance to."
"Me too."
"Now, I think someone's waiting for you upstairs... without knowing it."
I smiled wider and finished my hot chocolate.
"Where do I put this?"
"Leave it there, I'll take care of it, dear. Don't make him wait any more."
"Are you sure? I don't want to seem rude."
"Woosh, child! Your future husband is waiting for you."
I lifted up my hands in defeat.
"Thank you, then."
"You're welcome."
I walked to the stairs and got to the next floor. There was only two doors, one being Tooru's room and the other being his bathroom. I walked to his door, taking all my strength to knock.
"Come in."
I opened the door and saw a Tooru who had his back turned toward me, his eyes on his phone. From where I was, I could see my name.
"What do you want?" he asked, gently.
I sighed, smiling. "I didn't know you would be this hurt by the play that you wouldn't be able to text me after it." I teased while I closed the door.
He turned toward me so fast, it felt like he teleported to a position to the other.
"Y/n?" he asked, hopeful.
"It's me, love... It's me."
He got out of bed and walked to me, hugging me so hard that it hurt me, but I didn't care... I needed this.
"Why? I thought that... I thought-" but I cut him up before he could say anything.
"I don't care about others, Tooru!" I suddenly pulled back, looking at him straight in the eyes. "I never cared for this music club guy or for this drama club one, or any random one. It was always you, no one else!"
I was crying. But for him, his were still falling.
"I tried to think nothing of it, Y/n. I swear I did, but I couldn't help but be scared."
"I'm not mad at you for this, Tooru and never will I be. You made efforts since the last time, but do not have doubts and I will never have any."
"I'm so sorry. I was so worried..."
"Don't worry. I'm here now." I said, hugging him again.
"I know... I know."
He took a deep breath and then he broke the contact, going back to his bed. He took his phone and closed it. He sat on the mattress and I walked toward him. I walked until my own knees were against the mattress, between his legs. I took my index finger under his chin, lifting it up so he could look me in the eyes. I closed the gap, putting my lips on his gently. His hands found their way to my waist, trying to pull me closer. When I pulled away from the kiss, Tooru looked at me worried. His right hand got to my cheek and I put mine on his.
"I want you, Y/n. I can't wait any longer to have you by my side. It's been way too long."
"I know."
He got up, making me step back and I was the one to look up. He kissed me again, my arms around his neck, his around my waist. It went on for a couple of minutes. That's when I thought, truly, genuinely : Finally, I get to be happy...
*-*--*-*
I was lying on his bed, Tooru's head was on my chest. His right arm was on my belly. I was playing with his hair. He was sleeping. His tv was opened. It was calm. I was soon to be falling asleep, too. We had spent the rest of the day together. I had told my uncle that, maybe, I wouldn't be coming home tonight. He didn't seem against it, he just made sure I would be getting home for the Christmas party tomorrow. When I closed my phone, my eyes were shutting themselves for the night a few minutes later.
When I wake up the next morning, I find myself to be under his blanket, but alone. I take my phone to open it, but no new message. I put it back where it was and then I turn to my side, thinking about what happened the day before. I smile, kick my feet, almost fall on the ground, but I'm happy. I curl up in his bed like a little ball of happiness. When his door finally opens, I see him enter, a towel around his waist and another towel in his hands, trying to dry his hair.
"Oh, you're awake."
I. Immediately. Blush. I turn away the fastest I can.
"Good morning to you too." I say, hiding my blushed face.
"Good morning. I'm just coming to take some clothes, don't worry."
I turn back to him.
"You know we have a Christmas party tonight, right? Try to wear something appropriate."
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
"We never know. You could have forgotten."
He scoffed, his clothes in his hands, walking toward the bed. He leaned toward me, kissing me.
"I would never forget that, darling."
"Oh, back with the names. It's been a long time." I said, sitting up in the bed.
He walked to the door. "You should expect more of them from now on."
"I will."
He walked out, leaving me there. I then decided to walk to his wardrobe and opened it. There was a lot of shirts and sweaters. Being in winter, I took a sweater and comfy pants, so I would not be cold. I put the clothes I had the day before and slept in all night on his chair and opened his door. Before I could even go further, Tooru was stopping me.
"Went through my things, huh?" he looked at me with a smirk on his face.
"Why not? I needed something comfortable."
"You coming or not? I'm hungry."
"Of course."
We went down and fortunately for me, his parents weren't there this morning. We ate together something we cooked together. It was delicious.
For a Christmas morning, I think it's the best one I've ever had. I also think this is the best Christmas gift I ever received from life.