After leaving the Duffers office, I went to Mayas trailer and burst into tears. I have no idea what possesed me to go there, but I did. Maya was an easy person to talk to and ask for advice.
When I walked in, Maya was on her desk, doing something on her laptop. She turned to see who barged into her trailer. "Hey Sades. Whats up?"
I tried to speak but I was choked back by tears so all that came out were a few inaudible words. When Maya realised I was crying, she immidiately rushed over and engulfed me in a hug.
"Hey, hey, its okay. Try to calm down and tell me what happened."
After a few hiccups, I managed to calm down a little. Maya set me down on an adorable little couch that was placed against a wall. Maya decorated her trailer quite well. In front of the tiny couch I was seated on, was a wooden sort of coffee table on a white and blue rug. The couch I sat on was white with light blue cushions. Even her desk was decorated to fit the blue and white theme. Her bedsheets were white with fairy lights hanging from the headboard. It was pretty cosy.
"Is it about Millie?" she asked. Didnt expect her to analyse the situation that quick.
I explained what had just happened. "I dont know what this means. Does she love me? Did she agree because she wants us together? Her of all people should know whatll happen if we actually go through with this. Maybe she didnt read my facial expressions right and thought I was asking her to say yes. But she-"
"Sades, listen. Youre overthinking literally everything right now. Relax."
"I cant relax. She has a boyfriend and shes pretty much forcing me to make her cheat. I dont want to be the reason she feels disloyal."
"Honey, just by accepting that deal with Matt and Ross makes her disloyal."
"Then she probably feels like shit over it! And its all my fault!" I said, stuffing my face in a cushion.
"No it isnt, stop blaming yourself over everything."
I didnt speak or take my face off the cushion for a few seconds, before turing my head to face Maya. "Maya, why do people overthink?
"Well, usually it could be because youre nervous. Or you have a guilty consious over something you did ages ago, so now your mind thinks everything is your fault."
"Ok.
We both just sat in silence for a moment longer while I processed this. Of course Im nervous as hell and thats why Im overthinking. But then I thought of guilt. If I felt guilty about something, what would it be?
"Maya, if you were a stupid, funny, hot closeted lesbian redhead, where do you think your trauma would come from?" I asked.
"Not sure. Could be something that happened ages ago with your siblings, or parents. Maybe you did something wrong on purpose when you were little that you forgot about, but your consience wont let go of it. Or potentially you had a sort of memory that was normal when..."
I let my thoughts trail away from what Maya was saying. I kept thinking about what she said about family. If you can even call us family. There are 5 siblings; Spencer, Mitchell, Jacey, Caleb and me. None of us have spoken to our dad in ages since we all managed to run away from home. After mom killed herself, dad let out this abusive side none of us saw coming. I was four when mom died so I dont really remember wht she was like. Or what dad was like before it happened. Spencer was 10 so he would tell me stories about when mom would bake with us, put us to sleep and when we'd all get together on Saturday nights to watch a movie. I could recall a few memories, but over time they faded away. I didnt mind forgetting them. Remembering them only helped an empty void in my heart grow.
"Hey!" Said Maya, snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Earth to Sadie Sink? Did you hear what I said?"
"Sorry, I zoned out a bit." I said, with a slight sniffle.
Mayas expression softened. I didnt realise I was on the verge of tears until she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Dont worry, everything will turn out fine with her. I promise." She said.
"Yeah, ok." I said with a weak smile. I had to give Maya some credit. She was a pretty great therapist. Even though shes not one to show emotions.
"Wanna go get some ice cream and fries?" she asked, getting up.
"Sure."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N
This chapter is just a bit of a filler since ive been offline.
Also, am I the only one who finds it crazy how tear and tear are spelled the same but pronounced differently? Like read and read. English is weird.
English will allgays be a difficult subject for me