Standing between them was a roaring silence, a tension that constricted the air columns around them, and a few feet of the wooden floor dappled by the sunlight filtering in through the trees from the side window. The way his eyes held hers made every nerve ending inside her body short-circuit by awareness. She tried to hang onto the anger she'd felt earlier, but it was abandoning her like a coward traitor. She was nervous. And she hated feeling nervous.
She held her breath for a long moment before she expelled it. "But I would like to talk. You said you would explain."
He was burning. And he felt it in every cell of his body. A hunger, a maddening need, a desire to touch her was rushing through him, so strong that his head spun. Would it be wise to talk to her instead? He groaned at the thought inwardly as he stared at those shy, honey-brown pots of love which were looking at him as if they were testing him while trying to control the soft swirls of desire that had begun to spark inside them. His heart pitched and rolled. She looked stunningly, achingly beautiful with her hair glowing in the morning light.
"So tell me." Khushi urged and surprised him by breaking away from his gaze that had pinned her to the spot, away from the tension gripping both of them, by moving across the room to stand staring out of one of the side windows.
The rumbling beginnings of the next battle he didn't wish to fight began rolling around the room, and he sighed. "Tell you what?"
"What was going on down there a while ago, Arnav?" Her voice was firmer than before.
"You know what was going on, Khush. We were talking, and Naaz was a bit surprised that you and I have—"
"Surprised, disappointed or shocked?" She felt a surge of anger, remembering the dispassionate way Naaz had been throwing words about her behind her back. "She doesn't even know me but had so much to say regardless!" She bit out, glaring at him.
"Okay." He sighed, lowering his head to run impatient fingers through his hair. "I understand how it looks when you put it like that. But she did what friends would generally do, Khush." He said, walking towards her. With great difficulty and only because they were trying to have a serious conversation, he kept his distance and stood beside her near the window. He cast a glance at the garden outside to gather his thoughts and then turned his head to look at her. "Friends, who need to show us both sides of a coin because they feel we can't see them. There is this compelling need in them to ensure we don't tread the wrong path for fear of us falling and getting hurt." He looked away from her. "But sometimes they don't realise that they could be making a major error in judgement themselves or might be straying far away from the truth." He let out a deep breath. "I choose not to look at what they say or do, but their feeling or their intent." He said, turning to face her. "I heard only care and concern in her words, Khush. And I respected that, and perhaps that's the only reason I didn't walk out of there while she was talking. What she thinks about you and her interpretation of the whole episode between us will always be unidirectional because she doesn't know you or us yet. But she will soon, and I know she will change her mind." He lifted his hand to hold hers and looked into her eyes. "But this isn't about Naaz or any other person having issues about you and me being together. This is about you and me and how we will deal with such situations from now on. As long as nothing affects us or what we have between us, whatever anyone says or does shouldn't matter at all. This is good enough for me. The question is, is it good enough for you?"
She kept staring at him and then finally sighed, shaking her head. "You will talk your way through anything and everything every bloody time. There is no defence left. It's so bloody infuriating!" She said, her eyes flashing in irritation or appreciation she wasn't sure anymore.
He watched her with a slight curl to his lips. "I thought you loved that about me."
She gave him a grim smile. "I always did. I still do. And despite that, I failed to—"
"We are not going back there again, Khush." His face was drawn as he looked into her eyes. "Today, we might question our judgment and the thought process four years ago and curse ourselves to death for failing to handle a situation. But we have to realise that it was a big thing for us at that particular point in time in our lives. And unfortunately, we were ill-equipped to deal with it. Hot blood, immaturity and emotions drove us, and we let our limited wisdom handle things in the only way we could have." His fingers slid into her's slowly, and he glanced down, examining each of them in turn. His head lifted, and he looked into her eyes. "But now, we will forgive those Arnav and Khushi who made mistakes, made some tough choices in life and suffered because of them as well, won't we?"
Just that simple touch made her heart beat faster, and that beautiful warmth of being with him spread throughout her whole body. Tears pooled into her eyes as she nodded, and with a heavy sigh, she turned to lean her head towards him and let him hold her against his chest. "Yes." She whispered, "But I have the strength to forgive only because I am standing here with you right now, with your loving arms wrapped around me while I listen to your heart beat in my ear." She said with heart-slaying honesty.
"I know what you mean. I guess it's the same for me." He smiled into her hair. "But I need your promise that you will stop pulling up the past and blaming yourself for everything. There were two people who messed this up. So I want you to let yourself off the hook." He pulled her away from her and looked into her eyes. "I really need this, Khush."
Her lips quivered. "Yes. I promise. Will you promise the same too?"
"You have my word." He murmured, brushing the back of his fingers against her soft cheek. "You have me. You have my everything."
She smiled, and he returned it with interest. And just like that, their eyes locked again, and the air around them changed in a second. His eyes darkened and the smile died on her lips instantly.
"Give me your anklet." He said in a hoarse whisper.
Her heart skipped a beat. "No."
"Arey! But you were giving it to me yesterday—"
"That was yesterday." She cut through, unable to look into his eyes.
He raised a brow and shrugged one broad shoulder "Fine. Give me two minutes. I'll get it from your room." He turned away from her swiftly and started walking towards the door.
She darted across the room like a bolt of lightning and plastered her back against the door. "It's.. it's with me." Her cheeks began to heat up as she drew in a deep breath. "I am wearing it."
"Wearing it?" The surprise probably showed on his face for a moment because her blush darkened. "Oh!" He took a step towards her. "So while you've been in your room all this time, seemingly angry, disturbed and frustrated with the situation, you have found the need and the time to brush your hair into this shiny mass of silk, apply kohl to your eyes to make them look dreamier than they already are, and then wear that sexy anklet — and all this to seduce—"
"Stop!" Heat shot through her body, and she felt a wild flush working its way into her face when she saw his gaze dropping automatically towards her feet. "It's not —"
"What are you trying to do, Khush?" His voice was tinged with a seductive husky drawl. "Trying to kill me?"
"N-no!" She cut in before he could say anything more. "I was just—"
"Lock the door."
Her pulse jumped hearing the strength in his words and voice, and a frisson skittered down her spine. She fought for breath, and it shuddered through her while a frown marred her face at his dominating tone. "I...I don't take to orders too well." She made a lame attempt at sounding offended. "Whatever happened to requests, the old sense of decorum—"
"Lock the door, Khush." This time each word was firmly enunciated.
She straightened, her whole body taut, bristling, as the slight irritation flowing inside her froze, and her heartbeat picked up as she thought of turning around to escape. And she was about to do just that, but Arnav covered the rest of the distance between them in a few hurried steps. He closed the door by pushing her lightly against it. Then, lifting one arm, he fastened the top bolt into the housing, trapping her between his arms. "Nothing has changed. The more I rile you up, the more beautiful you look." He breathed on her face, looking into her eyes.
Her eyes blazed. "Maybe you should stop doing that to me."
His eyes darkened, and the pulse in his throat began to pound as he moved so close to her that she couldn't figure out whose breath felt warm on her lip - his or hers. "I haven't even started doing that to you yet."
Her eyes lifted to meet his, and she forgot what she was going to say to him. His voice, his breath and his eyes were drugging her. "Arnav, I—"
"I want to see the anklet which you've worn to sedu—" He caught his tongue between his teeth watching her eyes glare at him in a warning. With half a groan, he pulled his head back. "Let me have a look. Please." Taking a few steps away, he knelt before her, sat on his heels, and tapped his thigh. When she kept staring at him, he gave her that half-knowing, half-teasing smile that managed to stroke and ignite her anger again. "Scared?" He teased.
She strove hard to pacify her anger besides her heart which was trying hard not to beat any faster. "Should I be?"
"Never. Come here. Closer."
She took those few steps towards him, her movement unsteady, and came to a stop a few inches away from him. She held his gaze and raised her foot to rest it on his thigh, but her anger had a mind of its own. It flashed in her eyes momentarily before making her do something completely unexpected. She lifted her foot higher and placed it directly on his chest instead, right above his unsuspecting heart. "Close enough?" She asked with a challenge flaring in her eyes, forcing him to lean back to balance his body weight by resting one arm on the floor. She had gone past caring, past everything. What else could explain this thing she was doing? She had no clue what was going on as anger and desire waged war against her in her head.
Arnav felt his heart stop beating momentarily before leaping into a frenzy of erratic beats. Sparks shot through his entire body as his eyes burned. "So.. you finally have me where you want me." He swallowed as he stared at her. "I like this move of dominance, Khush. It comes with promises I can't wait to be fulfilled." He said huskily, curling his fingers around her foot.
Her heart slammed against her chest and her cheeks flushed in heat when she felt him push her skirt up a few inches to expose her ankle. She waited for him to say something, but he didn't utter a single word. "What are you – what is that, Arnav?"
"A small something for you from my first proper paycheque." He explained while carefully opening up the turquoise silk paper in his hand. He picked up a sparkling stone and returned the paper to the tiny Tiffany blue pouch. "A tiny diamond pendant to weave into your anklet, a companion for your lonely silver ghunghroo."
She was momentarily speechless knowing he had brought something for her from his first paycheque. "I don't know what to—" Tears threatened to spoil the moment, and she swallowed thickly. "Th-thank you, Arnav. You didn't have to buy such expen—"
"This is nothing compared to what you've given me, Khush."
Overwhelmed, she felt tears prick her eyes. All she knew was she had to keep talking to keep herself from breaking down in front of him all over again. And so she blurted out the first thing that struck her. "I think I have a problem with Naaz."
"Hmm?" His voice sounded scratchy as he caressed the skin around her ankle with his long fingers. "You do?"
His touch caused a jolt, and her breath caught in her throat and congealed into a thick, hard ball she couldn't inhale or exhale. She closed her eyes as a wave of frighteningly powerful desire clamoured through her body, making her tremble from head to toe. "Yes."
He felt her tremble and glanced at her. "What kind of problem?" His own need to keep talking while his heart kept pumping wildly in his chest took over. Opening the clasp of the anklet, he weaved the diamond into the thread and fastened it around her ankle. The diamond and the ghungroo caught a sunbeam and glittered against her smooth skin, bringing on a content smile to his face. And when he still didn't let go of her leg, she pulled away with a quick jerk. She stepped back to create distance between them, but he caught her skirt in his fingers, bunching it into his fist.
"Arnav.." She whispered, her breathing coming faster as the intensity of the burn in his eyes increased. Looking down at him, she tried tugging at her skirt. "Let go..please."
"Then stay close to me." He whispered. When she nodded, he released his hold on the garment. Getting to his feet, he stepped towards her, his eyes glittering with his intention. "So, what problem were you talking about?"
"Hmm?" She asked in a daze as she took a step back.
"You said you have a problem with Naaz."
"I don't know.. well, I am not sure I can articulate it well."
"I see." He kept walking towards her, and she backwards until her back was against the wall next to the door. He pinned her there with a hand pressed against the wall on either side of her lovely face. "I know it's bothering you. I apologise from the bottom of my heart. I don't discuss you with anyone, not this way definitely. But Naaz has been a good friend, Khush. She is protective and has seen me through— let's say she's worried about me. But somewhere inside her head and heart, she knows, has known, and has accepted that it has always been you and always will be. And I know she is smart enough not to want to talk about this again. Will you trust me on this?"
She hesitated and nodded. "I was over the edge, hassled by her presence, n-not thinking straight." She said unsteadily. "I am sorry if—"
"No." He said in a hoarse voice. "You had every right to react the way you did. I am willing to take on more if there is anything in that heart which is still bothering you, but—" His face lowered, and she quivered as his warm breath fanned her face. "— Don't walk away from me. Not anymore. Don't put distance between us because—"
"I know." She held his gaze for moment before she smiled wistfully, letting out a sigh. "I know, Arnav. I haven't forgotten what I did and—"
He frowned. "What you did?"
"I mean — you won't be able to—" When his frown deepened, she swallowed. "Don't give me that expression. You know what I am saying and why!"
His broad shoulders shifted slightly, and a grim tension parted his lips held together in a thin line. "What are you — what's going on in your head, Khush?"
"Nothing. I want you to know that I do understand why you are— I — I guess I deserve it after bruising your pride so badly years ago." She said, swallowing thickly as her full cup of guilt began to overflow again.
Her face turned pale, and he took the blow to his heart as her pain sliced through him. "I don't—"
"You do." She whispered. "Because we both know I had crushed your pride in my fist and thrown it away like I didn't give a damn!" She cried out as tears stung her eyes. "I was brutal, ruthless, cruel to the one and only man I have always loved and—" A sob broke through her chest.
"Stop it, for god sake, Khush!" He ground out in sheer desperation. "I was brutal too! I did all this too! You would remember that, won't you? I had walked away from you ruthlessly, thoughtlessly, when you were screaming my name, running after me and—" He looked away, unable to meet her eyes.
"It's not the same." She paused as she drew a shuddering breath, "And I know you do remember everything, Arnav. Because I have kept it in my heart all along too. Right now, you are trying to be the bigger person to make me feel better by saying this but —" She wiped her tears. "— Just do me a favour. Please don't do anything right now because of —I — I don't want your pity, Arnav because—"
"Is lust okay?" He broke in faster than the speed of light.
She stood stunned for a moment, and then a ragged laugh tried to escape her throat as a smile. "I am serious. It's okay if you don't feel—" She lowered her eyes and bit on her lower lip mercilessly.
His skin began to prickle, and his breath locked up as she attempted a smile to make him feel better like she always would. His heart strained against his chest with love for this woman — his woman. "Don't feel?" He snorted because of the sheer impossibility of those two words weaved together in her context and kept looking at her for a few long seconds, "I have ached for you." He rasped, and the words pebbled out goosebumps all over her skin. "I have craved for your touch. Have dreamt of touching you in ways you cannot even begin to imagine, Khush. I have fantasised about you touching me too—in places—the mere thought of which makes me hard like a rock—and I — would you believe me if I say that at times I have driven myself insane just remembering the smell of you every time I had buried my face into your neck, your hair?" He paused as his breathing quickened. "And when nothing in the world could deter me from being here in this moment with you, you think I'll allow something stupid like pride to hold me back now?"
Her head tilted back a little to look at him and into his eyes with her tear-filled ones. She moved towards him, the thought of having driven him to the edge of all endurance making her feel guilty all over again. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted him to kiss her. In fact, she wanted him to kiss her so badly that not being kissed hurt. "Then touch me, Arnav—" She whispered, slowly putting out her trembling fingers to trace each contour of his face with the emotions of a blind woman Braille-reading her most treasured gift, "—touch me because you want to, and because I can't bear to be apart from you anymore."
Fire engulfed his body in the form of a storm. Holding her fingers together, he kissed the middle of her palm and pulled her into his arms with a sharp tug. Her faint spicy smell was floating around him and intoxicating his senses as he kept holding her, breathing her, drowning in her, moment by moment, thought by thought, bit by bit. Drawing his head back to look into her eyes, he trailed a finger down her cheek and lifted her chin to brush his lips against hers lightly. "Four years.." He whispered, and the fire running through him spread all around them, enveloping her. "Ab hisaab lagaana padega, for every single day, every single hour, every single moment I have spent without you." He brushed his lips against her's once again. "Do you understand what I am saying, Khush?"
She couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. She nodded, not knowing what she was doing but knowing precisely what he was saying. And then the press of his lips to hers wiped out the rest of the thoughts and the mild tremors that had begun somewhere deep inside her body along with her existence as she melted into him completely. It was almost benedictory. She sighed into his mouth as he deepened the kiss with an unhidden hunger, and her head tilted backwards, arching her breasts into his hard chest. And then she heard a sound.. a moan. Her moan! She stilled in shock. And so did he. It was a low guttural broken sound and she squeezed her eyes shut in mortification for a moment. She then opened her eyes slowly, slumberous, drugged and mortified, fully aware of what his eyes would be saying to her because he had heard the moan too. "I cannot believe I just —" She bit her lower lip, lowering her lush lashes as colour spread all over her skin, scorching her cheeks.
It was almost his complete undoing. He reached out, freeing her lip with his thumb. "God, I've missed that." He whispered, his eyes like molasses.
Before she realised what was happening, Arnav lifted her and pressed her against the wall to bring her face at level with his. The ragged sound of his breathing filled her ears. The heat of his breath moistened her face. Her feet dangled in the air, and her skirt rose higher as they wrapped themselves around him of their own volition.
He stared at her, helping her lean against the wall while feeding his fingers into her glorious mass of ebony. Using his thumbs to lift her chin so he could keep that exquisite face turned up to his, he lowered his head and took her mouth fiercely this time.
It was like being tossed into a bonfire. Her entire body was in flames that quickly. Her senses went haywire, each one of them making a raging surge towards his mouth. Her mouth opened under his, seeking and surrendering, and then he was kissing her so very intimately and deeply that she lost touch with everything but him.
It was an instant conflagration. They kissed like maniacs. She nipped his lip, he bit back. Their tongues duelled, danced and chased one another, their hands gripped and clawed at each other. The touch, the taste, the scents, and even the sounds they were making were pushing them over the edge of control. They came apart for breath and joined again. Her hands locked behind his neck, and her fingers clung to his hair, pulling him into her... where... she wasn't sure anymore.
Unaware of his control unravelling at an alarming speed, his hand drifted downwards to splay at the base of her spine so he could pull her deeper towards that part of him that was now throbbing with an ache unknown to him. They shuddered at the intimate contact, and he saw her eyes widen. His mouth swallowed her sharp gasp of awareness, and the kiss went on and on, growing deeper with each tempestuous second. The other hand made its way down towards her skirt and pushed it up further, his fingers caressing the bare flesh above her knees, finding their way up to one of her silken thighs and then down again until they began their sensual crawl upwards again. His mouth moved to nibble on one of her earlobes, and his tongue ran down the column of her throat to her shoulders. He pulled her top down on one side urgently and kissed the mole over her shoulder which had been the source of many of his fantasies, and sank his teeth into it. He heard her hiss and instantly drew his head back with a slight frown. When she smiled shyly, he kissed her again. And again. And again.
"You are driving me crazy." His voice was hoarse against her skin as he drew his head back to look at her flushed face and into her eyes.
In response, she cupped his face with one hand and trailed a fingernail across his cheek, grazing the skin lightly on its way down. He turned his head and caught it gently between his teeth and kept staring at her. The intensity burning in his passion-filled eyes made her tremble as he released her finger and reached out a hand to trail his fingers over her collarbone. His touch was so featherlike that it whispered across her skin and left a trail of fire on its way. Her breath hitched. The air crackled between them once again as his hand went lower until his fingers grazed the slopes of her breast. Watching her intently, she felt him remove his fingers and slide them in from under her top. The fingers caressed her flat stomach and rushed up until they felt, touched, cupped and moulded the soft contours of her chest. "Oh, dear God," She whimpered, closing her eyes, managing to breathe shakily.
Feeling her tremble against him, he snaked his hand around her neck under her hair and pulled her closer to fuse his mouth to hers again. But he stilled when her fingers mirrored his action and slid under his shirt. He lost the last dregs of his control when she began exploring his bare chest with her soft fingers. In one desperate move, he pushed his torso further into her, crushing her breasts against him while pushing her back into the wall once again. "God.." He shuddered. "I want you. So bad I can't think of anything else anymore." He whispered hoarsely as his ragged breathing filled her ears. "We need to stop, Khush — this is—" He closed his eyes and tried to get a hold of what was threatening to overwhelm him and slip out of control.
His words broke through her dizzy sensual haze of complete and utter disorientation. Understanding the desperate plea and sense in his words, she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Because she wasn't faring any better either. Breathing gone haywire, bodies hot, emotions locked into a raging frenzy, she held him in her arms until their breaths came slow and steady. After their breathing stabilised, he leaned his forehead against hers and smiled that smile that made her heart flip inside her chest.
Arnav looked at her long black lashes casting a shadow on her flushed cheeks. Still flushed. He smiled. "I had imagined there would be fire. But I wasn't expecting the chemistry lab to blow up." His husky voice felt like a whisper in her ears.
"Don't remind me of labs." She gave him a lazy grin. "That's like throwing ice-cold water on my face in this mood. It reminds me of work."
"Noted. And I can turn the heat on again if you are cold."
"Uff..hato jungli!" She said, pushing him away, now wishing for her legs to finally touch the ground.
"Jungli? Have you seen yourself? I probably have scrapes all over my chest, and we haven't even made—"
"Stop right there!" She said, her cheeks flaming. "My legs are aching. Put me down."
"Heavens! I am sorry." He moved away from her to give her space, and her feet slid down against his like melted wax onto the floor. He felt another tremor run through her, and her hands reached to steady herself. It had all gone out of control quickly and, unfortunately, was taking time to flip itself back to normal again.
"I can't hear anyone. You think they've left?" She said in a half-hearted attempt to divert their attention onto something else.
He chuckled as he helped her right her hair, top and skirt. "I hope to god they have."
"You think they know what we—" Her eyes widened and blinked "—did we make a lot of ..noise?" When he kept looking at her with an amused smile on his lips, she frowned. "Don't give me that smile! This was —we have never done anything like this before—this is—"
"New?" He chuckled. "But nothing the Kamasutra tape hasn't covered, I hope." He winked.
She gasped. "You!" She cried as she pushed him away. "You are going to dangle that tape over my head like a sword all the time, aren't you?"
He heard his own unrestrained laugh fill up the room. "Of course! But only when I want something special from you, you know what I mean?" He winked. "And who cares even if we made a lot of noise, sweetheart?" He pulled her into his arms and tilted his chin with a finger. "You know what I was thinking?" He paused to look into her curious eyes, blinking at him. "I am kind of okay with your sexy gasps, but I need to up the frequency of those sinful moans. I've heard them for the first time today, and have taken a fancy to —"
She gasped again. "Besharm!"
"Nuh-uh! I said no gasps, Khush...just moans." He said, lowering his head towards her mouth.
"Utterly besharm!"
"Ab jaisa bhi hoon.. tumhara hoon." He whispered against her lips.
Note: Finally! Phew. Do let me know what you felt after reading this one :)
Will try to put up another one soon.. :)
Love
S