I gulped. "Well...you two could come back to the Ravenclaw common room...there's a spare dorm that often doesn't get used as it's near the top of the tower and makes creaking noises at night but...I know a way to get in without being spotted. I'd probably have to stay with you of course, so that if anyone spots you I can explain that I let you in..."
The two for what seemed like the millionth time today gave me a blank look. "So...we are literally going to have a sleepover in the Ravenclaw dorms?" Ominis asked, clarifying what I had just said. My face once again on fire, I nodded.
"I think it makes the most sense, we wouldn't get in trouble, we'd be in from the cold so none of us get sick, and this way if any of us get nightmares, the others are around to help...Look I know it's not a great solution but-"
"Not at all! I've always wanted to see other common rooms! Merlin's beard this is so exciting! How on earth can you get us in though? Is there another way besides the door?" I covered Sebastian's mouth with my hand.
"Yes, I can get you in, No, this does not give you an excuse to come in whenever you want, the only reason we can now is because it's holidays, and yes, you can look around as long as the other Ravenclaws don't mind. Now hold on to your excitement ok? It's just a common room."
He nodded, but I could feel the grin under my hand waiting to ask more questions. "We won't get in trouble will we?" Ominis asked. "Honestly? I think we'd get in more trouble if the professors found out we'd camped out in the forbidden forest."
"Good point." I got to my feet, calling my broom. "Right, I can get you two in, but you need to be quiet until I make sure things are alright, ok?" The boys both nodded in understanding. "Right, Ominis, I'm going to use my scarf to tie your broom to mine ok? So you don't fly away randomly." He beamed at me, nodding. "Let's go then!"
The flight to Ravenclaw tower was short but cold, I needed to make sure I didn't turn too quickly as to not lose Ominis. We landed in the courtyard on the Ravenclaw dorm's roof, the stone a bit slippery due to the ice.
"Woah!" As I slipped, Sebastian caught me. "Nice of you to fall for me." He said smugly. "Shut up." I blushed, knowing that he was joking. "Where on earth are we? I've never been to this part of the castle." Ominis asked.
"This is Ravenclaw tower, so I don't imagine you ever would have. Come on, let's get in from the cold." I led the boys to the door to the stairs, leading them into the warmth of the common room.
Surprisingly, it was empty except for Sam and Amit, who looked up at me in surprise as I walked down. I motioned for Sebastian and Ominis to wait on the stairs. "How long have you been up there?? We thought you weren't coming back!" Amit exclaimed, laughter in his voice.
He was browsing a book on astronomy as usual. "Where is everyone? I thought more of us were here over the Christmas break?" "A couple of people got picked up late, so the few of us that were still here are now back at home. Looks like it's just the three of us." Sam shrugged.
I pondered for a moment. "Can you two keep a secret?" Both of them looked at me in confusion. "Sure...?" Amit said, and Sam nodded. "We were out until a little bit ago, looking for potion ingredients." "Really?! Wait, who's we?"
I motioned for Sebastian and Ominis to come down. Amit and Sam gasped, but didn't seem to say much else. "Hey, nice common room you guys have here." Sebastian tried, but the others didn't really seem to get his humour.
"I'm sorry, but this was the best solution I could think of. I didn't really feel like camping out or getting in trouble." Coming to their senses, Amit and Sam shrugged. "As long as you two don't make a mess, you're fine with me." Sam pulled me aside, whispering excitedly.
"Is one of them your boyfriend? Is that why you don't want to get caught?" I blushed. "Sam, that is not the reason they are here and you know it!" "That's not a no~" she hummed. I groaned, hoping neither Sebastian nor Ominis had heard her.
Thankfully, they seemed too busy exploring the common room. "It's complicated alright? I promise once I figure things out I'll let you know, now please for merlin's sake shush!" "But what about the note you got? Was it from one of them?" She kept asking.
I sighed, very much feeling the need to cast silencio on her but knowing she was doing me a favour by letting the boys stay the night. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but are these apples?" Ominis asked, seeing if he could eat one.
"Go for it! That bowl refills every hour, you see we often get caught up doing projects or reading, so we don't often get to the great hall in time for meals. Our common room keeps food in here so that we're never starving."
"How enchanting!" Ominis said happily, taking a seat and chomping down on the apple. Sebastian was perusing through the bookcase. "You know, if you are interested in Astonomy at all I have some recommendations for you." Amit asked him, rising from his chair to stand beside Sebastian.
I smiled, thankful that Sam and Amit were the ones here. It made things so much easier. "When you two are ready, I can show you to the room we'll be sleeping in?" Amit and Sam shared a look, but chose not to say anything.
"Lead the way." I led the boys upstairs, opening one of the main dorms on the right side. The room wasn't huge, but the beds were made and the room was decorated the same as most of the others were, with blue curtains and houseplants that seemed to water themselves.
While the room was void of any personal decoration, it was warm and comfortable. "Are the beds built into the walls?" Ominis asked. I chuckled. "Not quite. They are designed to be bunk beds, each one having its own curtain for privacy. The beds themselves are inside the frames. It makes it a lot harder to tumble out of bed."
I left out the part about each bed having it's own view of the lake below. Sebastian tugged at my arm. "Hey, can we talk for a moment? Alone?" Confused, I nodded, following Sebastian just outside the room.
"What is it?" I asked curiously. He was rubbing his hands together, a nervous habit of his. "I owe you a MASSIVE apology." he finally said. Now I was really confused. "What are you talking about?"
He hesitated, not wanting to continue. "Well...remember back when the three of us needed to get into the scriptorium, and we needed to cast Crucio on someone?" I nodded, wondering where this was going.
"Well, I'd never cast it before, but to cast such a spell you had to mean it. So I...I imagined it was my uncle standing in front of me and not you. When I cast the curse, I really really meant it. My uncle made me so...angry. He would never let me help Anne and took away anything I tried to offer her...but by meaning the spell, it meant that I passed on all that anger and frustration, and took it out on you. Maybe not fully intentionally, but you felt the pain that I was directing at him. I never really grasped how much the cruciatus curse could hurt until I took the curse for you...so I'm really really sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that." he concluded, and it finally clicked.
Sebastian finally knew the weight of casting the curses, I was sure of that now. I shrugged, not really sure how to respond. I had consented to him using the curse, so it was hard to tell him that it wasn't alright.
"Look, it wasn't...it wasn't that bad. It hurt a lot, but I'm a tough cookie, so it was alright."I said half heartedly. I really didn't know what to say. "I'm not going to use spells like that ever again. I can't. I can't hear the screams over and over." Sebastian seemed to be talking to himself now, but I let him talk.
"In my dreams I cast those same spells, and every time I hear the cries of pain, Anne, Ominis, yours...and now I truely know how much they hurt. How tortuous It felt. For me It only lasted for a few moments, but in my nightmares It lasts longer. I kept casting and casting, I couldn't seem to stop. And when you all seemed to be begging for it I...finished the job..."
Sebastian seemed on the brink of tears. I hushed him. "Shh...it's just a dream Seb..I'm here, WE are here..." I wrapped my arms around him, and he clung to me like a scared child. I patted his back soothingly. Now I understood.
The Trauma of taking a life, of using the forbidden curses. They took their toll on anyone, most of all the people who always aspired to do the right thing. Sebastian had simply been trying to find a cure for Anne, but it led him to making some really bad choices.
"I didn't want to do it...none of it.." He mumbled, his breath hot against my neck. "Sebastian...your uncle wasn't going to stop. Your choices weren't good and you are accountable for that. But your uncle was attacking both me and you...You didn't need to kill him, but he wasn't going to stop either. In some primitive way, you acted out of self defense...that does't make it ok, but it makes it understandable..." I trailed off, patting his hair.
He pulled back, looking at me. "I don't understand. Why on earth don't you hate me? Despise me? Why do you still believe in me?" I gave him a small smile. "Why should I? You did the wrong thing for the right reasons. But you took it too far, because you didn't want to accept either my nor Ominis' input. So who's the real hypocrite here?"
He choked out a laugh, tears pouring down his face. "I really don't deserve you..." "No, but I'm here anyway, you're stuck with me, much to your dismay." I heard him sigh as he hugged me again. "I have you and Ominis, but Anne..." he trailed off.
"Sebastian, try to see it from her perspective. Her brother, whom she loves dearly, killed her uncle, who was her sole caretaker. She may not forgive you right away, if at all. But she's going to need time to process her grief. While she might not want to see you now, maybe she will one day."
He let out another sigh. "How do you always know what to say?" I smiled, shrugging. "I'm a Ravenclaw. Wisdom is in our nature. While we can make some mistakes, we're not as ignorant as some seem to believe." I pulled away, raising an eyebrow while smirking.
Sebastian groaned, pinching the top of his nose. "I'd forgotten I'd even said that. I really do have a lot to apologise for don't I?" I patted his arm. "It's ok, you were under a lot of pressure. Things are different now." I poked him playfully. "Go on, go get comfy. I'm going to get changed into some pjs, then I'll be back." He nodded, and I turned on my heel and retreated downstairs.