Chapter 32
Hawkpaw pressed herself deeper into the shadows as the cats funnelled quietly into the dark cave. She had not yet adjusted to the darkness, so all she saw were the brightly flashing eyes of the rebellionists. Her chest clenched and her heart skipped a beat as the last of them slipped in.
Soon they would all settle down, and she would have to address them, along with sharing the plan she and her friends had come up with during their meetings over the past few days. She knew that this plan was taking a massive risk, and if the cats backed out...it would be the end of the rest of them.
Looking around the cave, Hawkpaw's eyes became more intune with her surroundings. She began to see more distinct outlines of the cats as they sat, motionless. She could see their vine leashes, wrapped around their necks. She suppressed a shiver at the risk she and the rest of the cats were taking to all gather for this one meeting alone.
The first battle was two nights from tonight. Nightstar and her CometClan warriors were well aware of the impending war from some sort of intel leak, and Hawkpaw had the feeling that the CometClan leader relishing the idea alone of the violence and gore. She didn't realise how many cats Dawnclaw had recruited and forced to battle for her horrific cause. AquaClan also knew of the battle, for Nightstar had been very vocal about it at their borders.
For each day since, Hawkpaw began to feel her chest tighten, and felt less like she could breathe. There hadn't been any skirmishes, any mean-talk, or even any noise from outside FalconClan's borders. Every cat was simply preparing, sharpening their claws, and of course, scheming from the shadows.
"Hello everyone," Hawkpaw meowed, her voice tight. She felt as though her voice didn't come from her own jaws, but instead from somewhere very far away.
No cat spoke. They all simply stared at her. Hawkpaw could only hope that some of them would decide to fight, but she could understand if they didn't.
"First, I'd like to thank you for coming." Hawkpaw didn't feel as though it was her voice that spoke. It sounded like the voice of a confident, older leader, not a scrappy little rogue.
"This meeting was only made possible by two Dominant and two Trusted who risked their lives to give us safe passage. Moonflight, Roseflight, Silvermist and Snowlight are all out there, feeding poppy seeds to the Dominant to make them sleep, and pretending as though we are all tucked away as well."
Adderpaw's eyes glowed with pride at the mention of her newly found father's name. Hawkpaw widened her eyes when she saw the bright amber wings swooping out of the apprentice's back. She hadn't been paying attention; the apprentice's wings had fully grown in.
In stark contrast, Icicle had lost every last one of her feathers over the past few days. Her wings had been injured so much in the battle that had permanently-scarred her that they were gone. It only seemed to make Icicle feel more confident and proud, though.
"And of course," Hawkpaw meowed. "Thank you all for coming."
"So what's the plan, little winged cat?"
"Uh, just a moment," Hawkpaw felt her throat clench up, and it took all her effort to say those few words. Her burst of adrenaline was wearing off, and reality was kicking in. She put on a monotone stare, in stark contrast to the 'brain-dead killer' stare Dawnclaw had been trying to teach her over the past few days.
Dawnclaw.
That only made Hawkpaw's chest feel even tighter. She hadn't attended any of Dawnclaw's meetings, but the FalconClan leader had been spending almost every single moment with Hawkpaw. Dawnclaw kept feeding into her own insecurities, making her angry at everything, but afraid of 'Great Master'. Hawkpaw had even been used as an example to teach the other Dominants how to treat their Ferals.
Feral.
Another foul word that made stars speckle in Hawkpaw's vision as she fought for air that wouldn't come. Not all the Ferals had come to the meeting, because several of them had simply snapped. They'd lost it. Hawkpaw had nearly lost it too, only saved by the CometClan escapade. There were four out of all the Ferals that Dawnclaw had. It made sneaking the rest of them away easier, since some were left behind in camp, but it scared Hawkpaw that they weren't in control.
Control.
As Hawkpaw saw only inky blackness in her line of sight, she felt as though that word summed up everything. Dawnclaw wanted control over everything, so she had created the Ferals. She wanted to control because it put others down, and made her feel powerful. She wanted control because she knew what it was like to have none, and she wanted others to feel exactly the same way.
"Hawkpaw!"
Mhm. That's my name.
Then, Hawkpaw felt fur and feathers brush against her. She looked on to see Smokepaw, pressing against her, amber eyes wide with concern. Mountain, Icicle and Adderpaw were all there too, eyes glittering with fear. Every single one of the Ferals pressed in close, as though they wanted to help.
"Are you okay?"
Hawkpaw wasn't sure who said it. Perhaps it was Smokepaw, or Adderpaw, or perhaps it was the whole lot of them. Hawkpaw felt the air gradually seep back into her lungs, and her vision cleared. Still, all the other cats stared at her. Hawkpaw only had one answer for them.
"No."
Smokepaw flicked her tail at them all to give Hawkpaw some space. Hawkpaw caught Adderpaw's nervous gaze, and Raccoon's petrified expression.
"No, I'm not okay." Hawkpaw's gaze sweeped the crowd as she stared at all the Ferals. The vine leashes looked like venomous snakes. She lifted her chin, voice somehow shaky but firm. "None of us are okay. Look, I'm not going to pretend that we are. Nor am I going to pretend that I have answers to save the world. I'm offering a few words, because I have nothing else to give."
Smokepaw's warm gaze gave Hawkpaw the strength to push on, to push through what had to be said and done.
"All of us come from different backgrounds. We look different, we act different."
"And we speak different too!" Squawk interjected. Hawkpaw assumed that was his name now, anyway. She wasn't really sure. Some Ferals had the dawn suffix, others had just their original name, which the Dominants refused to acknowledge. But none of them had warrior names.
"Yeah, Squawk. Some of us are loud." Hawkpaw blinked at the tom. "But we all have one thing in common. We are oppressed. We are put down. We are judged for where we came from, and not who we truly are. And that's never going to be okay." Hawkpaw lowered her voice to a murmur. "So the battle is in just a couple days, and I have a plan. It's a risk, and I need to know who's in."
"Me!" Squawk replied.
"Us." Mountain and Icicle gazed longingly at each other. Were they thinking of becoming mates?
"M-me too!" Racoon put in nervously.
"And me. "But just so you know, I'm not your friend. I won't kill. I will only fight against those who have wronged me." Dart grunted. Hawkpaw recalled that they had lost their daughter to the Dominant's torturous words. She hoped that there was a chance of rehabilitation for the sick Ferals.
"I'm in," Lavender added with a kind smile.
Hawkpaw had a feeling that each of them were doing a sort of pledging of allegiance to her cause. She smiled as Gingerdawn, one of the first cats Dawnclaw had recruited, nodded. Brightdawn and Mountaindawn had snapped, so neither of the rest of the 'dawn' suffix cats were at the meeting.
"I'm in," Wave put in, with a half-hearted grin. The muscular tom flexed his shoulders. "Let me protect some of the more vulnerable, will you?"
Before the next cat spoke up to speak their allegiance, Hawkpaw nodded to Wave. "I actually have some ideas for you already, Wave. I've talked with most of the cats, and Smokepaw and my closest friends have all thought of the best positions for each individual cat."
"Seriously epic. You can trust me." Ezra, who had a very bizarre name by Hawkpaw's standards nodded her head. She had another collar, a pale brown one, on top of the vine one the rest of them had. Her language and mannerisms reminded Hawkpaw once more of how diverse they all were.
Hawkpaw glanced at Smokepaw. The two of them had spent sleepless nights working on this plan. Smokepaw knew the risks more than any cat. Still, Smokepaw's eyes glittered with certainty as she urged Hawkpaw on.
"We all agree, Hawkpaw," she entwined her tail with Hawkpaw's. In a louder voice, she added. "We are all almost like family at this point. Even though we've only known them for a few days, I think we all understand suffering, and what needs to be risked for freedom."
That's brave. Hawkpaw knew how hard the word family hit Smokepaw. Her father hadn't been in the picture, her mother was dead, and her littermate keeped telling her she was a monster. For Smokepaw to find comfort in a sort of found family after all that...it inspired Hawkpaw.
And she was right. Their numbers weren't massive, but they didn't have to be the size of one of the clans. Hawkpaw just hoped the plan would work. The time for battle was coming. There wasn't anything any of them could do to stop it. But there were things they could do to save lives.
"Alright everyone. Here's the plan."