Word Count: 5,3k
Warning: mentions of death, violence
Summary: They say third time's the charm, and Shikamaru hopes it is enough to save you.
***
Shikamaru could still vividly remember the day his sensei Asuma had died in his arms. As though the memory was burned into his brain, it came to haunt him in his sleep time and time again, nourishing his doubts and regrets, harvesting his heartbreak. Each time the dream came to haunt him, it appeared more vivid than the last time, so much so that Shikamaru could feel the blood of his sensei on his hand again and the way the older man's body shivered in his last moments. The sombré tone of Asuma was etched into the memory, accompanied by the gruff undertone the dark-haired man always spoke with. His last words most importantly, Shikamaru felt as though they were in his heart, something he would never forget, and take with him to his grave.
The future head of the Nara clan could also remember how his father had died during the Fourth Shinobi War. The way Ino beside him cried out at the loss of her own father shook his mind to the core and had his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach, bile beginning to crawl up his throat. His mind was in shambles, but he was required to get right back to work and push away all of his sorrow and his grief so they could win the war. Only at the grave of his father, his sobbing mother standing beside him did Shikamaru get a moment to allow his grief to swallow him, almost drowning in it to the point he couldn't breathe.
The sensation of death surrounding his entire being was something Shikamaru never wanted to feel again. It was a feeling he despised with all his being.
Following the death of two of the most important people in his life, two men to whom he had looked up since childhood, and whom he had set as an example for himself, Shikamaru vowed that under no circumstance, he would ever let someone important to him die again. At all cost, even when it meant he would endanger his own health, he would make sure that those dear to him would make it to see the light of another day, live to wake up in Konoha, and get back onto their feet.
To his dismay, death, however, was a treacherous thing, one that did not listen to the prayers and vows of the people. It did not matter to death what Shikamaru promised, neither did it matter what the dark-haired man intended to do. As a mere man, Shikamaru did not stand above danger and near-death situations, a lesson he soon learned during a mission alongside you.
When he strode into the Hokage's office one morning, the smell of cigarettes lingering around his body, and his hands buried deep into the pockets of his pants, Shikamaru had not expected the man to hand him a mission instead of paperwork.
The Hokage had always been a walking enigma, mystery shrouded around him. So, Shikamaru shouldn't have expected anything else but a surprise awaiting him.
His first clue to something being different had been the sight of you in the Hokage's office, sitting on one of the two chairs placed in front of the desk. Despite only being able to see your back as he entered, that little piece of information was enough to identify you. Maybe it was the way you slouched in your chair that gave Shikamaru the necessary clue, or the exact shade of your (h/c) that he could never forget even if he wanted to. Either way, his expression morphed into one of recognition as soon as he saw you sitting there.
Without saying anything, Shikamaru made his way over to the chair beside yours and sat down, ignoring how you scrunched up your nose in response. There was a curious gleam in the Hokage's eyes, but neither Shikamaru nor you could tell what exactly it indicated. His gaze flickered between the two of you, his charcoal eyes settling last on the piece of paper laying on his desk to skim over it quickly before talking to the two of you.
With a smirk playing on his lips, not visible to either of you, Kakashi leaned back in his seat. "Do either of you know why I asked you to come?"
You were the first to narrow your eyes. "To go on a mission, I presume?" Once you glanced over at the raven-haired man sitting beside you, the smell of cigarettes still lingering on his vest. Then, you forced yourself to focus on the Hokage again, trying to keep yourself from frowning visibly. "Together, most likely."
Merely from how you strained the first word, the Hokage could tell your lack of enthusiasm when it came to the mission. That was no surprise to him, he already had expected such a reaction from both you and Shikamaru, so he paid it no mind. He was following his very own mission, after all, and not even the two of you disagreeing would keep him from continuing on with it.
"I chose the two of you to complete this mission because it is of importance," Kakashi began, sitting a little straighter in his seat now. He really could have chosen anyone besides you and Shikamaru, but neither of you needed to know that fact and potentially mess with his meddling. "And I trust you to complete it. Together."
Both of you had to swallow down the groans of annoyance you were about to let out. It had to be a joke, didn't it? An unnecessary joke from the Hokage himself, in that case.
"Don't you two look at me like that," Kakashi felt like he was reprimanding two children, not two of the most capable and intelligent Shinobi. He shot both of them a warning look before he slid the information slip across the table for them to take, deciding that briefing them now would cause him more of a headache. "The mission begins tomorrow. I expect the two of you to get a good night's sleep and head off early in the morning."
Kakashi did not even need to dismiss the two of you, as you both willingly left the Hokage's office without a word to him or each other. The first to go had been Shikamaru, who stood up as soon as he had skimmed over the paper, pushing his chair back with a loud screech, before he pushed the door to Kakashi's office open and left. You quickly followed suit, with a few seconds of difference so you wouldn't run into the dark-haired male when outside of the office. The silence remaining was loud, to say the least, and left the room colder than it was before.
(That did not have the Hokage doubt his meddling, not even in the slightest as Shizune could see as soon as she entered the room with a cup of tea in her hand.)
The raven-haired woman let out a sigh, placing her hands on her hips as soon as she sat down the tea on his desk. "What did you do now?" From the gleam in his charcoal eyes alone she could see he was up to something.
Kakashi leaned back against his chair, stretching out his legs and arms, listening to his joints cracking in the process. His playful gaze settled on Shizune, a twinkle in his eyes. "Oh, you know, nothing."
Shizune knew that he was lying, and couldn't help but worry about what the man was brewing up.
***
You could still remember when you first met Shikamaru back in the academy when the two of you had still been young children starting their way of being a Shinobi. To you, it was like the memory was burned into your brain, something you knew you'd never forget due to the significance of that day to you.
Your first crush you would never forget, anyway.
Already within the first few months of starting the academy, you had begun to develop a crush on the raven-haired boy from your class. You weren't sure what it had been that had pulled you to the Nara, whether it had been his unmatchable intelligence, or his lazy attempts at humor, which often came out dry, you didn't know. At his witty jokes, you often were the first and only student to laugh, the only one to understand it immediately and also find it funny. Your attention was always drawn to him, your eyes always finding a way to settle on his slouched figure. Your chin would rest on your hand as you daydream of some kind of future together, wistful sighs pushing past your lips.
Something just drew you to him. You couldn't exactly explain when your crush on him blossomed to become something fully fletched, you could only build your tower of hopes and dreams, and continue to stare at him during class with your lovesick gaze.
Little you had thought of Shikamaru as cute and adorable. Just as many of your other classmates did, like Sakura and Ino, you attempted different combinations of your name with his, meshing them together, writing your first name in combination with his last name, or even hyphenating both of your names. Little hearts quickly joined your messy ideas, little love notes adding to your expression of feelings, or in that case, lack of open and honest expression of feelings.
(To say the least, you had been head over heels for the genius boy since early childhood).
At one point, everything had begun to change, however. You would pinpoint the time of change to around the Chuunin exams, specifically the first round of the one-versus-one fights. It was the round in which you lost in a one versus one against Shikamaru, shame coursing through you as embarrassment had your cheeks feeling warm, your head cast downward as you accepted your defeat.
It wasn't even that you were a bad Shinobi or one below average, because that wasn't the case, not at all. Rather, you couldn't match Shikamaru's wit and intelligence, the two qualities you had so dearly admired, which had become your downfall on your way to becoming a Chuunin. They became the qualities you too, wished to possess, qualities you were becoming jealous of, and you thought of as necessary to be a Chuunin.
With the help of your understanding and supporting sensei, you were determined to become better than the boy who, unbeknownst to him, crushed your heart during the exams. It had taken some time without a doubt, but every second you spend gaining knowledge was worth it when you finally caught up with the raven-haired later and became a Chuunin without even losing one round.
The climb was hard, there was no doubt there, but the result was a better version of you, one determined not to allow their heart to be broken again, one that wished to be better than the boy who did so.
All of your hard feelings toward Shikamaru, mixed with the jealousy you felt toward his abilities brought you to this point: a mission with him. This happening would've been little you's dream, and yet, for obvious reasons, you couldn't help but feel annoyed at the prospect of having to go on a mission with Shikamaru.
What if you embarrassed yourself again, or something worse happened? You couldn't cope with that, you would most likely sink into the ground from all the embarrassment. So, you were yet again determined, determined to be better than him.
During the mission, you couldn't slack up, you knew that which was why you chose not to engage in any witty banter stemming from Shikamaru. On your way to the mission's location, you ignored the few words leaving the raven-haired's mouth, but listened nonetheless, little you rather excited to learn more about the Nara.
Halfway to your destination, the silence between the two of you had become unbearable. You were basically itching to say something, anything really, to break the silence and to have it stop. But you kept tight-lipped.
The green trees around the two of you became shades darker the further you were walking into the thick forest surrounding Konoha, leaving your home further behind you with every step you took. Walking under the large shades of the trees felt somewhat peaceful to both you and Shikamaru, the harsh sunlight of the summer sun no longer blinding either of you or burning your skin. The longer the two of you walked, however, the path seemed to grow smaller and smaller, the trees growing closer to what was supposed to be the path. It was like the forest was pushing you together, or so you thought as your shoulders accidentally bumped.
"Sorry!" You squeaked out immediately, your cheeks feeling warmer upon contact. Why did you have to be that clumsy, again? "Didn't mean to."
And here you were embarrassing yourself of all things, making the mission more uncomfortable than it already was.
Shikamaru cleared his throat, his eyes flittering to look over at you, before looking away again. "It's fine." He said, his hands twitching in his pockets, as though he was itching to do something. You noticed, though didn't say anything.
You were walking shoulder by shoulder by now, the close proximity of the trees forcing you to do so, not knowing that neither of you would get to say something else to the other before everything went to shit.
Neither of you had seen the attack coming, as both of you were lost in your own bubble of thought concerning one another. It wasn't professional to do of either of you, since both of your attention should have been dedicated to protecting yourself and your partner on your way to the destination instead, and yet, here both of you were, about to be ambushed because of your own lack of attention.
The first indication that you aren't alone in the forest came from one of the trees, a small rustling of the leaves that sounded too big to be of a bird. Shikamaru stopped you in your step, his hand grasping your upper arms to keep you from moving forward. Both of you were now alert when it came to your surroundings, the hairs on your arms standing up from the chill running down your spine.
It didn't take long for the intruders to reveal themselves, sly smirks tugging at their lips, the upper part of their faces covered with masks, holes cut within them to leave their eyes uncovered. While the men and women looked ridiculous, it was no time to laugh as they pulled out their knives and got ready to perform Jutsu.
"If you want to enter, you'll have to go through us first." spoke the leader of the group, his tone deep and intended to sound threatening.
The woman beside him twirled a knife in her hand, adding, "We don't let people pass without a price being paid first, that goes without saying."
You weren't nervous at all about the impending confrontation, not at all, really. You not only trusted yourself and your capabilities but also the ones of Shikamaru. Regardless of that, your hand moved to where your own knife lay against your hip. "And what would be said price?"
For a mere moment, shock crossed the features of the woman, but she was quick to revert her facial expression back to one of nonchalance. "You're Konoha Shinobi, eh?" It was a question that required no answer from either of you. "You must have a lot of money to give to us, then."
That statement couldn't be more wrong if it tried to be. Following the Fourth Shinobi War, the financial situation was dire for everyone, even including yourself and the future Nara clan head.
From the peripheral of your vision, you could see Shikamaru hatch out a plan. Due to the location of the ambush, it was obvious who of the two of you was at an advantage. There were more shadows than necessary surrounding all of you, meaning Shikamaru could perfectly use his clan's Hiden Jutsu. He only needed to not be caught.
To give him more time to act, you chose to act a bit less rational than you would've preferred to. Instead of having your hand simply remain near the knife on your hip, you chose to draw it and point it at the woman opposite you, the blade of it gleaming in the few bits of sunlight managing to protrude through the many treetops.
The woman took a step back but did not deter from her mission.
"Don't trick us, Shinobi!" growled one of the other men of the ambush, his knife now drawn toward you. You refused to flinch and stood your ground. "Drop the knife! Now! Or you'll get it!"
Admittedly, you were beginning to feel a little nervous with one more knife pointed at you, but you fully trusted Shikamaru to perfectly execute the plan. While it would be rather difficult for him to catch all four of the intruders all at once, you were sure that he would be able to do so, if you were only able to buy him more time.
You refused to drop your knife and instead spoke in a calm voice, "We don't have that kind of money." It was true, neither of you had barely any money with you.
"I'm sure we'll find a solution then," spoke the leader, his voice deep enough to send a shiver down your spine. "You," He pointed over at you, "will stay here, with us, while you," Now he pointed at Shikamaru, "will get us the money we ask for, alright?"
You shot a glance at Shikamaru, the worry gleaming in your eyes saying more than a thousand words. It would be best to strike now, the raven-haired decided before any of the four intruders dared to try anything dangerous.
As fast as he could, Shikamaru allowed his shadow to spread out all across the ground of the forest and to connect with the shadows of your opponents, to trap them in a certain position. As soon as he heard the first gasp coming from the man with the knife, Shikamaru knew that he had been successful. The man was quick to drop his knife onto the ground, barely missing his foot. The woman, the leader, and another man, who so far has made no comment, were quick to follow suit, stuck in the position as Shikamaru wanted them to.
Shikamaru shot the four of them a smirk, unaware of what would be coming next.
From high above in the trees, came a silver glint toward the two of you, specifically toward Shikamaru. Your eyes immediately picked up on the glint coming toward you, meant to knock out Shikamaru and free the four intruders. If you were the knock the Nara out of the way, you knew that his Shadow Jutsu would break the moment you made contact with him, allowing the four to not only attack you but also rob you and then flee. Would you take the hit, however, none of that would happen and if you were fortunate enough, you could still knock those four out later.
Maybe it was the little you had buried deep inside you long ago thinking and acting, or maybe you never lost your feelings for Shikamaru, but you moved in front of him without much more thought. His eyes widened as he saw the glint coming toward you now and hit you in the chest, a gasp pushing past your lips as you hunched over, attempting to breathe.
Shikamaru's shadow immediately climbed up the tree and also managed to interweave with the shadow of the last man standing, also trapping him in his Jutsu.
You, meanwhile, had more and more trouble breathing, the cackles of the five intruders sounding distant, almost blurry to you. Anger and frustration were both coursing through your body as you formed the finger sings necessary for the Wind Jutsu you were about to perform. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult, so as you breathed in to gather enough air for your Jutsu, it felt as though your lungs were on fire. You ignored the pain you were feeling and finished your Jutsu, knocking over all four of them with a wall of wind, sending them flying against trees and knocking them out in the process.
You yourself could barely hold your own weight up, so as soon as you made sure that Shikamaru was save without needing your aid, your knees buckled underneath your voice and you fell to the forest ground, desperately gasping for air to fill your lungs.
Shikamaru yelled out your name, but you could barely hear him in all the panic you were feeling. Blood was rushing to your ears, making Shikamaru's voice almost inaudible as you with your back against the ground, your eyes staring up at the trees as your vision blurred with tears.
"Breathe," Shikamaru told you, placing his hand on your shoulder to rub it in circles to get you to calm down. "You need to breathe, (Name). Calm down." His gaze traveled over to your wound, and while the wound itself was not life-threatening, the knife appeared to have been poisoned. No wonder you were reacting like that.
Ever since his sensei and father died, Shikamaru never was the greatest at calming people down in a difficult situation, especially when they were hyperventilating as you were. "Somewhere in the bag is an antidote, (Name), but until I prepared it, you need to breathe, okay?" He could see the tears rolling down your cheeks and the panic so clear in your eyes, and yet, he couldn't help you in any way.
As quickly as he could, Shikamaru began rummaging through the bag in search of an antidote, specifically the two vials of antidotes given to him by Konoha's very own poison specialist before the mission began. As soon as he found it, he was confronted with another problem: Which was the right vial to give to you?
From merely seeing the knife, he couldn't tell what kind of poison was coating it. On the other hand, he couldn't pull it out either in fear of you bleeding to death as soon as he did so. His heartbeat began increasing, anxiety pumping through his blood as he considered his options.
You felt like your whole body was on fire by now. Pained screeches pushed past your lips, tears falling from your eyes as your body spasmed on the floor, you crying out in pain. Your gaze was set on an unsure Shikamaru, the raven-haired man in a situation he had never been confronted with before, and in spite of his undeniable wit, he found finding a solution rather difficult.
"Help... me..." You could barely speak, your throat scratchy and voice coming out in a mere pained whisper. Your breaths came out erratic and without a pattern, as though you were clawing for air to enter your lungs.
You couldn't die like this! Not only was this a mortifying way to go, in front of the now man you've crushed on as a child, but also rather pathetic. You wanted to die a happy death, after managing to confess your feelings to someone you would consider to be the love of your life. You didn't want to pass on with so many regrets, things you wished you had done sooner.
Maybe back then you just should have taken the leap of faith and confessed to Shikamaru, told him that you liked him.
By now, you also couldn't tell anymore what was going on. Your vision was completely blurred from all of the tears streaming down your face. You could only hear Shikamaru scrambling around you, moving constantly and muttering inaudible words under his breath. You only regained somewhat of a sense of orientation as soon as a needle penetrated your skin, making you hiss loudly.
"It's going to be alright." Shikamaru told you, another attempt to calm you down.
You nodded, unable to speak a word of confirmation. Wholeheartedly, you believed in the genius as your body began to calm down a little. It felt like you could breathe again, air entering your lungs. That was, at least, until everything went to shit again.
Out of nowhere, you began crying again, your body feeling as though it had been set on fire another time. You convulsed, screeched, and let out noises of pain, returning to a state worse than the one before.
"Shit," Shikamaru cursed, taking in a panicked breath. "Why isn't this working?" He wiped the layer of sweat forming on his forehead with the back of his hand, attempting to clear his mind to think.
He could distantly remember what the poison specialist had once taught him during the war, the words somewhat saved in his brain, words he never recalled before. "These antidotes work best if the poisonous object is removed from the body. Some poisons flare up when in contact with the antidote, so remove the object if the first dose doesn't work. Just be careful while doing so." And while it was dangerous to do so, it appeared to be the only way to save you.
"Pull... out... knife," You told him as though you had been able to read his thoughts, gasping for air after each word. "Trust... you." You were well aware of the fact that there was a chance that his Jutsu would not work, that you would bleed out here, poisoned on the floor of the forest, but something told you to trust him.
The last time his mind had been this close to falling apart into shambles had been when hearing his father speak to him, death coming closer to the man. His heartbeat had increased drastically and blood rushed in his ears, he could barely focus on anything but his father. The same could be said for when Asuma died, Shikamaru's heart feeling as though at any moment it may break apart.
At that moment, Shikamaru knew that as soon as he managed to bring you out of the life-threatening situation, he would confess his feelings to you one day. He couldn't lose a loved one again, it would hurt too much. He refused to give up on you.
They say third time's the charm, so he should be able to save you. If the saying held any truth to it, you shouldn't be the one to die in his arms or continue to suffocate as by now your hands were beginning to desperately claw at your throat.
Your only hope would be now the bits of medical ninjutsu Ino had taught him in case of an emergency. He was regretting not having listened to his blonde teammate more intentively than he should have.
Shikamaru carefully wrapped his hand around the handle of the knife so he could pull out it. You hissed as he did so, a noise that made his wince. "I'm going to pull it out now, alright?" He attempted to create eye contact between the two of you, but your eyes were filled with too many tears to even get a hint of your surroundings. "One... Two.. Three." In one pull, Shikamaru pulled the knife out and threw it beside you.
There was only one antidote left that he could give to you, but first, he had to close the wound with medical ninjutsu. His hands were shaking more than he wanted them to, your crimson blood splattered across them. Shikamaru set his growing panic aside and hovered his hand above the wound, using each and every technique Ino ever taught him. His hands were beginning to glow a mint tone after he pushed his chakra into them, his body feeling weaker during the process. His technique may have been the ideal one to use, but Shikamaru knew that what mattered most was that it worked. As soon as he saw your wound close up, however, he knew that every side effect would be worth it.
A sigh of relief escaped both of you as soon as the wound was closed, no more crimson blood escaping it.
"Next time, you really should wear your vest." Shikamaru joked, barely able to catch his breath. His skilled fingers were already working on putting the other antidote together to use it.
You let out a pained laugh, coughing afterward. While every limb in your body was still burning, the combination of the knife being removed and Shikamaru's medical ninjutsu did wonders and had you feeling like you could breathe again.
Seeing this side of Shikamaru was... new and quite frankly, also exciting. If it weren't for the fact that you had almost stood at heaven's door just now, you would most likely be swooning.
"Now breathe, I'm going to inject the antidote," Shikamaru said, carefully positioning the needle above your skin. His other hand rested near the wound to keep you still. "It's all going to be over soon."
You squeezed your eyes shut and nodded, doing your best to not only keep still but also to ignore the uncomfortable sensation stemming from the injection. Both proved themselves to be difficult to do, your breathing still labored as the antidote made contact with your bloodstream.
The relief you felt was instant. Finally, you could breathe normally again, your body no longer feeling as thought it had been set aflame. Your chest rose up and down as you breathed in even breaths, given the opportunity to calm down from your high emotions. Curios, with your fingertip you dared to explore the wounded skin of your throat, but as soon as you touched it, you let out a pained hiss.
Shikamaru's hand immediately came to envelop your own, keeping it away from the wound. "Let me see," He said in an unusually calm and kind tone. "I'll put some ointment on it, so it will heal."
With remaining tears in your eyes, you agreed wordlessly.
Shikamaru worked the ointment onto your skin in silence, not a single word coming from him, and neither from you. With each breath you took in, his gaze would flicker upward to meet your eyes, checking if you were still alright. Only after a nod of confirmation, he would continue, his fingers shaking noticeably as he rubbed the ointment onto the wound.
"Thank you, Shikamaru." You were able to croak out, your throat still feeling raw from all the screaming you did.
Shikamaru shot you a smile, one that instantly had your heart beating faster against your chest, heat rising to your cheeks. "Thank you for trusting me, (Name)," He allowed his body to fall onto the forest floor right beside you, sprawling out all of his limbs as his body calmed down from the emotional high he experienced. "And for not dying on me."
A small smile tugged at your lips. "I would never. I'd feel too bad," Your gaze flitted over to Shikamaru, taking in his exhausted form. "Plus, who else would have annoyed you then?"
The raven-haired brushed over your last comment. "I should have protected you better. As your teammate-"
You raised your hand to interrupt him, but not without letting out a cough. "It wasn't your fault, I jumped in front of that knife. I'm sorry, Shikamaru."
He let out a relieved chuckle, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. "At least neither of us dying anymore," He turned his head to look over at you, smiling. "What a mission."
"Yeah, what a mission," You echoed back, lost in the mesmerizing sight that was his eyes. For all these years, you had thought of Shikamaru wrong, and now you were mourning the wasted time. "Friends?"
Shikamaru blinked, for a moment not comprehending what you meant. But then, he nodded. "Friends."
It was only small progress, but the third time after Shikamaru left such an impact on you, you knew, it would change your life for sure.