~MILLIES POV~
I was sitting on my bed in my trailer, watching 'To All The Boys I've Loved Before'. After what happened in the Duffers office, I asked Matt for my trailer key and went to the Main Room and grabbed a bunch of snacks from the vending machine then went to my trailer and decided to watch a movie on my laptop. I decided to binge the 'To All The Boys.." movies and eat my feelings away while sobbing over Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky's love story.
Noah saw me when I was leaving the main room so obviously he came to my trailer minutes later to check on me.
"Knock, knock." He said, opening my trailer door.
"Don't come in, my feelings are hurt." I replied.
"What happened in the Duffers' office? Me and Finn were worried that they fired you."
"I didn't get fired. Although I would totally prefer that."
"Come on, tell me what happened." he said, sitting on my bed. I made room for him so that he could sit comfortably. He sat cross-legged, leaning against the headboard. I let my head fall on to his lap.
"Before I say anything, I just want to let you know that by the end of this conversation, I will burst into tears." I said
"Then we'll cry together." he said, playing with my hair
I explained what happened in the Duffers office and, as expected, I burst into tears.
"I just don't know what I'm going to do. I love Sadie, but I love Jake, but Sadie loves me, but Jake loves me, but I love Sadie more, but if I date Sadie then my homophobic ass mom will kill me and I'm gonna kiss Sadie everyday for these scenes and I was so stupid to actually agree and..." the rest was inaudible as I started to slur my words.
"Hey, hey, hey, look at me." said Noah.
I looked up to see Noah, glossy-eyed.
"I don't know what that little idiot heart is telling you, but I think you should listen. If you love Sadie, then why aren't you with her right now? Why aren't you calling Jake to tell him that you love someone else? Why aren't you telling your homophobe of a mom to fuck off?"
Noah was right. If I do love Sadie, then why don't I just go for it? Why don't I just date her?
My mind procrastinated a little bit.
Then I understood why I wasn't going to date Sadie.
Because I don't actually LOVE Sadie.
"You know what Noah? You're right. If I actually loved Sadie, I would have done something about it." I said.
"Glad I could help. Now, let's finish this movie."
We continues the movie but I couldn't focus. I was thinking about Sadie and Jake.
Cons of dating Sadie:
My mom will hate me for ever
I could potentially get fired
I have to break up with Jake and I don't want to shatter his fragile little heart.
The media will want to know EVERYTHING
Pros of dating Jake:
He loves me
I love him
He's a hot model
My mom approves of him
He's loyal
We've been together for years
Cons of dating Jake:
.
Pros of dating Sadie:
.
It was obvious that I should be with Jake but I couldn't stop thinking of Sadie...
****************************************************
"Ocean blue eyes, looking in mine
I feel like I might
Sink and drown and die..."
-Gorgeous by Taylor Swift
A/N
I'm boutta fuck up millies life fr