Jimin has never been good with funerals.
Apart from his well restrained exterior, all of the solemn emotions build up inside, pulling and twisting at his guts. It's easy to portray the feelings of a character that's unphased. But everything unfolds the very moment he's alone.
Nothing makes sitting through the service easier. Not even the fact that Taehyung is sitting next to him while Jeongguk kneels next to Soomin's shrine. Every photo and memory sends Jimin into a deeper state of turmoil. He realizes that despite the conversations they had, he really had no inkling as to what kind of person Soomin was. She seemed kind, headstrong, and self-reliant. Everything that Jeongguk is.
But there's always so much more behind the face you see each time you look at someone. Every individual story is told by the shape of their smile or the narrative flooding their eyes. Someone can be completely different behind the laughter they supply.
"It's almost over," Taehyung whispers in Jimin's ear.
Jimin nods softly, keeping that in mind. He toys with his fingers in his lap, peering over at Jeongguk.
He's a completely different person in front of an audience. Jimin hadn't seen him such a wreck before the past few weeks. And now it's like none of it ever happened. He looks like the poised, adamant man he first met. Nobody could tell he spent his previous days cooped up in an apartment room, unwilling to eat and drink water and bathe.
And for a moment, Jimin is reminded of how similar he is to Jeongguk. He had spent so long making sure that he received the care that he lacked when his parents passed away.
Because he knew what it was like to go through something so unbelievably cruel and harrowing without support.
The desperate longing to just vanish into thin air. The lack of appetite and the thought of eating, with the constant urge to vomit at the mere idea. It was hell. And he wondered why it had to happen to him of all people.
The last visitor bows twice to the departed and once to Jeongguk. Jimin doesn't realize that his eyes are swell with tears until his vision starts to blur. He uses his sleeves, erasing the trails from his cheeks. Taehyung squeezes his shoulder, reminding him that he's still present.
There's only a handful of people. Some are close work friends, Jimin assumes. There are a couple of faces he remembers from being at the company building briefly. And of course, Ro-un and Haeso are here.
Jimin has made it his mission to steer clear of them both. Although they're next to Jeongguk, he only manages to see the latter. His eyes never leave his face, not once. They've all suffered loss, and yet, Jimin can't bring himself to feel sympathy for either of the other two men.
And maybe it's inhumane. But Haeso and Ro-un showed their true colours the second him and Jeongguk were exposed to the media.
"Just ignore them," Taehyung stresses.
"Hm?" Jimin doesn't notice that Haeso and Ro-un are both staring at him until Taehyung speaks up.
Although both men's eyes are so similar, Jimin feels an entirely different intensity, setting him ablaze. It feels like he's being scorched by a spotlight.
"I need a second," Jimin murmurs, stepping away.
The blond ventures out of the room, running his hands down his face. He presses himself against the wall, allowing his tense muscles to relax on contact with the cool palisade.
He feels selfish. Today isn't about him. It hasn't been about him for a few weeks, and yet, somehow, he ends up being the one running, feeling detained by the outright marvel of Jeongguk's brother and father.
And then he's reminded of what Taehyung had said a few days prior about Hoseok. In all honesty, it's none of his business. He shouldn't even care. And he wants to believe that he doesn't. There was a time when he wouldn't, but things have changed since then.
He still cares about Hoseok because he helped them at the beginning of it all when everything went to shit. Jimin didn't really consider the repercussions he would face from it. Suppose he doesn't know exactly what's going on. But it doesn't sound good.
Someone peaks their head through the doorway. Jimin looks up into Jeongguk's eyes. He feels comfort crash over him in a matter of seconds.
"You okay?" he asks, loosening his tie.
Jimin frowns softly. "I should be asking you that. I was overwhelmed, is all. I just needed to step out for a few minutes."
Jeongguk nods, brushing some of Jimin's hair back.
"Wait." Jimin grips Jeongguk's wrist. "Should we be doing this here? Your brother and father are just in the other room, and there's other people here."
"These are all people that I trust. Aside from my father and brother, obviously. But they all know and besides, nothing gives me more pleasure than shoving it in those two's faces."
"Jeongguk Hyung," Jimin whispers, grip loosening on the man's wrist. "This is your sister's funeral. I know you're upset, but this isn't the time to be thinking about some kind of vengeance."
Jeongguk lets out a sigh, dropping his arm. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just have a lot going on in my head right now," he replies.
Jimin tilts his head to the side, fixing up the tie Jeongguk had loosened. "Like what?"
The businessman's jaw twitches. Jimin catches it with attentive eyes, flattening out the lapels of his suit jacket. His hands linger against Jeongguk's chest mechanically.
"I'm frustrated, angry, sad... just a whirlwind of emotions at this point. I can at least pinpoint where all of them are coming from. I just need to try and manage them," he explains, gaze dropping to Jimin's hands. He takes them in his own.
"Just let me know if there's any way I can help," Jimin reminds him, watching Jeongguk press a gentle kiss against his knuckles.
Jeongguk shakes his head. "You've already done so much. You've done more than I could possibly ask for. Just continue being yourself, alright?"
Jimin smiles. "Yes, boss."
"None of that," Jeongguk clicks his tongue. "You said it yourself, remember?"
The blond shrugs. "What? It's not my fault you can't control yourself. Now hush." He turns on his heel but Jeongguk reaches for his arm and guides him back up the wall.
"I can't help it, but I can control it. There's a difference."
"Is that so? Is this what you call controlling it?" Jimin asks, their lips brushing.
Jeongguk smirks and Jimin can feel it against his mouth. The former's hand trails along the blond's jaw, fingertips soft and tender. He awaits the moment the distance between the both of them closes entirely.
"Are you kidding me?" A hoarse voice booms from the right.
Jimin twists his head to the left. Jeongguk looks over at the doorway, staring at his father. "How long were you watching before you said something?"
"Jeongguk Hyung," Jimin mumbles, looking up at him.
Haeso rolls his eyes. "Watching is the last thing I would do. This is your sister's funeral. You should be paying your respects. He shouldn't even be here―"
"Don't even get me fucking started," Jeongguk interjects, stepping in front of him. "You weren't at the hospital when she was fighting for her life in surgery. You weren't there when your daughter needed you the most. Get your fucking priorities straight―"
"Watch your mouth."
Jeongguk takes one step closer. "I won't. And I don't care if I'm making a scene. All it took was one word from you and now all of the sudden, all my sadness is gone. I'm angry. You make me angry," he grits, shoving the man in his chest.
Haeso's arm lifts and his elbow bends. Jimin is now watching in horror as the man cranks his wrist. However, before his calloused palm lands against Jeongguk's face, his arm is grabbed.
Jimin's eyes jump to Ro-un's miffed complexion. He drops Haeso's arm. "Do you guys have to be at each other's throats any chance you get? We're here for a reason and people are watching. I don't care if you fight but don't do it here. It's disrespectful. Let's finish up and we can go our separate ways."
Jeongguk eyes him suspiciously. "Since when are you the voice of reason?"
"It doesn't matter. You guys are being selfish. Put your differences aside for once and let us get through this in one piece," Ro-un encourages. "I don't like it anymore than you do. Believe me."
Jimin's eyes avert to Ro-un's. He releases a held breath, tugging carefully on Jeongguk's sleeve.
Jeongguk relaxes and Jimin can feel it beneath his touch. "Let's say goodbye to the guests and finish up. I can hardly handle being in the same vicinity as one of you, never mind both."
Jimin can hardly register his hand being held until he's pulled into the next room. He avoids looking into the other two men's eyes and keeps close to Jeongguk. He can only hope that the rest of the night goes by quickly.
-
The second they make it back to the apartment, Jimin puddles on the couch. He leans his head back, eyes closed, and is surprised when he feels lips against his own.
His eyes open and Jeongguk is standing on the other side of the couch, showing a lazy grin. Jimin can tell that he's tired.
"How are you feeling?" Jimin asks.
Jeongguk potters about in the entryway, hanging his coat up. "Exhausted. But better now that we're by ourselves," he replies.
The blond flashes an empathetic smile. "You've been reminding me a lot of myself lately," he says, leaning against his arm when Jeongguk takes a seat next to him on the couch.
Their eyes lock. "In what way?" Jeongguk asks, mirroring Jimin's action.
"When my parents passed away, I handled the situation quite similarly. I think we felt the same way, which helps me understand you a bit more," Jimin adds.
Jeongguk hums in understanding. He reaches out for one of Jimin's hands, playing with his small fingers. "What else do you think you've learned about me tonight?"
Jimin's nose scrunches slightly. He places his chin in his hand. "You can't be surrounded by too many people for too long. Sometimes, you tend to shut yourself down and shut the world out because it seems like the easiest alternative. Not because you want to. Because you have no idea what to do," he continues.
And Jeongguk's facial expression shifts. At first, he seemed kind of amused. But his smile has faltered, and he's more tense than before.
"Hey." Jimin reaches out, placing his hand against Jeongguk's knee. "I'm not judging you. I'm relating. And I did what I could to get you back on your feet because I had no one to help me when it happened to me. Even though I was still there, it's like I vanished."
Jeongguk's face softens, and his shoulders relax. He inches a bit closer to Jimin, taking his face in one of his hands. He leans in, their noses brushing. Their lips graze and finally, the blond is the one to lean in and close the connection. It has felt so long ago that they've had a moment like this to themselves.
And what seems like an innocent, brief kiss at first quickly switches. Jimin is led against the arm of the couch and quickly enough, his figure is eclipsed by Jeongguk's.
His mouth opens and Jeongguk's tongue slides against his own. One of the man's hands move against his body in slow and sensual intervals, leisurely slipping beneath his shirt to touch at his soft, bare skin.
A gentle gasp leaves Jimin's mouth, simply to be swallowed by the lips that detain him. His hips swivel against the couch the closer Jeongguk's hand gets to the waistband of his dress pants.
"You're so pretty," Jeongguk marvels in one single breath, trailing his lips down Jimin's jaw to his neck. He unsnaps a few buttons, pushing the collar of the white dress shirt to the side to reach his collarbone.
"Hyung," Jimin says breathlessly, threading his fingers through Jeongguk's hair. "Are you sure you wanna do this right now?"
"I just wanna play a little," Jeongguk mouths against his skin. "I'll take care of everything. Just sit back and enjoy it."
Jimin's neck relaxes against the couch and his eyes glue to the roof. One of Jeongguk's hands undo the button of his pants and the zipper is next. It isn't long before he's palmed through his boxers, tilting his head back to let out a strangled moan.
"Don't hold back on me. I wanna hear you," Jeongguk demands.
"F-fuck," Jimin whimpers, back lifting off of the sofa. His toes are already curling.
"That's better," Jeongguk smirks. The blond feels it against his skin, releasing a gentle whine in response.
Jimin's fingers struggle to grasp Jeongguk's hair with elevated levels of pleasure. His hands swap to the sofa itself and grip tightly the second the brunette begins to stroke him beneath his underwear. His hips jerk in response and his neck cranks back, eyes rolling.
"Fuck, H-Hyung," Jimin groans. "Please," he begs.
"Please what?" Jeongguk asks, the tenor of his voice one of provocation.
"Stop teasing me," he drawls.
The man's pace quickens and Jimin whines again. He feels helpless, hands reaching for further purchase. Jeongguk levels himself over top of Jimin, leaning down to kiss him again on his lips. The blond's fingers grapple at his dress shirt.
Jimin moans into Jeongguk's mouth, thighs buckling at his release. His body falls limp and his breathing escalates while descending from his high.
"You're so good," Jeongguk praises, tucking Jimin's hair behind his ear.
Jimin's eyes open. He sinks into the palm held against his cheek, gaze lazy. "You need help," he mentions when he notices the buldge in Jeongguk's pants.
"Should we continue in the shower?" Jeongguk questions.
Jimin blushes, clasping the collar of Jeongguk's dress shirt in his fingers. He pulls him in, kissing him.
The blond's phone starts to buzz endlessly. But he ignores it.