One grieves freedom and the girl he loves. One grieves the chance to rid herself of a problem. And one grieves a plan that never came to be.
ᓚᘏᗢ
Tohru only sees Arisa Uotani and Saki Hanajima for the remainder of her stay. The two made it a point to visit Tohru every day after school as she recovered, giving her the latest gossip, which Tohru tried to listen to and enjoy. But truthfully, she could only wonder why nobody else had come to see her. There hasn't been anything from any of the Sohmas, except Akito, of course. Nothing from Yuki or Shigure, Momiji or Hatori. Once, Tohru inquired after the good doctor and got a vague answer that he was out, and a concerned glance. Not the answer she was looking for.
And, of course, nothing from Kyo. It hurt more than Tohru would care to admit – that he said those things. It made some sense, though, she supposed. It certainly cleared up why he didn't like her when he first moved in. He was afraid. She could forgive that. She could forgive him.
She did forgive him. And that's why he ran.
That didn't make sense to her. Why he ran away. If she could just get a few minutes to talk to him, to atone for her own mistakes, to hear him out. Just to see him would be a great relief. But she never caught his name on the lips of the passing nurses. Never got anything out of Uotani or Hanajima. And didn't see another Sohma until the stay at the hospital was over, and she was discharged.
Hanajima practically forced Tohru to stay at their large home. Tohru protested, of course, but there was hardly any arguing with Hana. Tohru relented and stayed in a guest room on the main floor.
The doctors were very specific about the rules for Tohru's injuries. Minimal walking and no running, standing for long periods, she is not to be left alone for long, and no alcohol, which Tohru didn't have to worry about. And in the Hanajima house, one was almost never alone.
After two days of staying there, Hana and Uotani suggested Tohru return to the Sohma house to get some of her things. Hoping and praying Shigure was there, Tohru agreed.
The wheelchair ramp going up to the house was steep, but between the three of them, they were able to get up to the house. Tohru told the girls to wait outside while she tried to find Shigure, but from the outside of the home, the shred of hope Tohru held was dwindling.
Abandoning the wheelchair at the door, she walked to the porch. What she saw made her stop dead.
All of her belongings, carefully packed into three boxes, labeled and stacked on the porch. And a not on top. With shaking hands, Tohru opened it and read.
Tohru,
I do apologize for the sudden eviction, truly. But Akito has ordered everyone in the inner circle to the main Estate for a bit of an extended stay. Everyone is alright. Please don't worry about us, and stay away from the Estate.
Wishing for a fast recovery, Shigure.
Tohru almost thought it was a joke. It was dumb to tell her they were all at the Estate, and to tell her to stay away, and then tell her not to worry about them. Of course she was going to worry! Worry flowed through Tohru's blood.
Well, she knew what her first stop would be when she was well enough to leave on her own.
"Tohru? Everything alright?" Uotani calls.
"Uhh, yeah!" Tohru calls back, her voice chipper as ever. She pockets the note. "Can you two come here?"
The girls gape at the boxes on the porch. "What happened?" Hana asks.
"Shigure and Yuki... got a new place. Closer to family. A last-minute decision," Tohru says, coming up with an excuse. "I can't go with them, there's no room."
That was not the right thing to say. The moment she saw the boxes, Uotani was fuming. "That douchebag! How dare he just pick up and leave!"
"Uo, calm down. I've been gone for a month. And we always knew this was a risky and temporary arrangement," Tohru says. It's hard to use words to calm someone when you don't believe them yourself.
Uotani picks up two of the boxes. Hanajima gets the last one and insists Tohru just drive the wheelchair back to the house, all while Uo rose hell about it.
Over the next two weeks, Tohru crashes at the Hanajima household, eating with them, helping them with housework and babysitting, and otherwise just trying to make herself as small as possible.
By the end of the two weeks, Tohru is able to return to school and work, and only uses the wheelchair sometimes. Going back to work is a blessing, because although the Hanajimas insist she can live with them for as long as she needs, Tohru needs to start searching for a place of her own. And she'll be damned if she stays in a tent again. So she picks up as many shifts as she can handle and scours the internet for affordable apartments. She's going to need to live on her own eventually.
Returning to school was also a big shock. People looked at her, which was different. Usually nobody paid her any mind unless she was with Yuki. They watched her walk by with pity in their eyes, even with Hana and Uo trailing her wherever she went. What was worse, was there was no sign of Yuki or Kyo. On her second day back, Tohru even went as far as to check the class below her for Momiji and Haru, only to find they haven't been in school for weeks.
Some students gave her a date. None of the Sohmas have been seen since her fall.
Tohru vividly recalls the deal she made with Akito. And Tohru has not a single doubt that the family head would pull them out of school to worsen Tohru's misery.
While Tohru hid the pain and growing loneliness as she always had, she began to devise a plan.
The plan began with visiting Kazuma Sohma, and Rin.
ᓚᘏᗢ
Yuki walked through the rooms of the main estate that have been cleared for the Zodiac. He counted them all.
There were only twelve, besides Akito's.
Hatori already had his, since he always had to stay so close to Akito for his poor health. But the rest were now being filled with the rest. Shigure didn't seem to mind the change too much, keeping to the gardens and courtyard. Hiro and Momiji haven't left their rooms in days. Kisa has been glued to her mother's hip, who came to help her get settled and has yet to leave. Yuki's wondered how much longer Akito will allow Kisa's mother to stay, or how long the woman would want to stay. She's already a better woman that Yuki's own mother.
The rest of the Zodiac is still trickling in. Yuki's brother has been in and out, both working and bringing in his many, many belongings.
Yuki walked out to the garden to find Shigure reading.
"How are you settling in?" Shigure asks, not looking up.
"Not well. The only one that seems unbothered by this is you."
Shigure shrugged. "There's nothing to be done. Not with so much at stake."
"That's the thing. I don't understand, what's at stake here?"
A sly smile etches his face as he turns the page. "Can you not feel it? Things are changing."
"What is changing-" Yuki began.
"And," Shigure said, cutting him off, "there's Tohru to consider. Akito isn't pleased with her."
That much was abundantly clear.
"But I don't understand. What's triggered this?"
"It's been in the making far longer than you can imagine."
Yuki, about ready to slap the cryptid bastard, got up and left. What does he mean, things are changing? What things? And what is it supposed to feel like?
Yuki couldn't come up with any satisfactory answers. But he did know one thing for sure. It would affect Tohru. Badly.
He wondered what she was doing, if she knew yet where the cat was being kept. He'd seen firsthand what so much grief could do to such a determined soul. He feared and looked forward to the day Tohru darkened this doorstep.
ᓚᘏᗢ
Akito called for the Sohmas to return to her.
It was dumb for her to allow them outside. It was dumb to allow them to go to a normal high school. She gave them an inch and they ran a mile. They couldn't be trusted to do as they were told.
It was all the Honda girl's fault, is what Akito continually told herself. It was all Tohru Honda's fault. She showed the kids what it was like to live a normal life. She diluted them, brainwashed them, and tried to take them away from her. It was all her fault, and she had to have known what she was doing.
Akito hates her. More than that dumbass feud between Yuki and Kyo. More than she's hated anyone in her entire life.
But killing her would be too easy. It'd be letting her go without proper punishment.
But taking away everyone she holds dear? Everyone she has left?
It'll have to do.
ᓚᘏᗢ
Isuzu Sohma had been staying with Master for a while now. They were far enough away from the main estate for Tohru not to arouse suspicion or be noticed by Akito. If Tohru had to guess, Rin had told Kazuma about the plans to break the Zodiac Curse.
The train ride to Kazuma's was a stressful one, only made worse once Tohru stumbled upon his doorstep.
Much to Tohru's relief, Kazuma opened the door.
Tohru fell into a bow, half in respect, half to hide her tears.
"Miss Honda? What brings you here?" His voice gave nothing away. His face shone no sign of hurt. Perhaps he had seen Kyo recently.
"Hello, Master. Is Rin here?"
"Tohru?" Behind him, on the stairs in the hall, Rin stood in a sweatshirt and leggings. Honestly, Tohru had never seen her in something so... plain. "What are you doing here?" Rin asked, making her way down the stairs and giving Tohru a hug.
"I need to talk to you both."
Rin and Master exchanged glances. "Then come inside. I'll get some tea," Master said.
Tohru followed them to the table and took her place on the ground. Shuffling from the kitchen was enough for Tohru to know he could hear what they said. One side of the room had boxes stacked. Tohru decided not to ask about them.
"How are you feeling, Tohru? Better, I hope," Rin asked.
"Oh, yes. Much better, thankfully."
"That's great to hear." Her voice was tight, almost scared.
Something terrible is going on. A pit began to grow in Tohru's gut.
A few minutes later, and the three of them were around the table with tea nobody seemed to want to touch. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife.
"So, Tohru. You said you wanted to talk to us about something?" Master said, breaking the silence.
"Yes, um..." Tohru said, setting down her cup so it didn't give away her shaking hands. "None of the Sohmas have been at school. Some others told me they haven't seen them since the accident. Do you know what happened?" she asks carefully, trying to hide the quiver in her voice that's become quite persistent.
Rin and Master share a glance before Rin speaks. "Akito called all the Zodiacs to the main estate. None of them have been seen outside since then."
"I was able to convince Akito that Rin wasn't well enough to make such a drastic change, buying just a bit more time. We were hoping you'd come by before I had to take Rin to the estate," Master cut in.
Well, that explained the boxes. "Why did Akito call them to the estate?" Tohru managed to ask.
"Nobody knows for sure, and none of the Zodiacs have been able to tell me," Master says.
Tohru takes a shaky breath. "So... Kyo is with them. With the rest of the Zodiac?" she asks quietly.
Rin looks to Master, who shakes his head. "Not exactly..."
Tohru looks up, the tears brimming in her eyes. "What do you mean?"
Rin looked like she was about to cry herself. She swallows thickly. "Nobody told you? Shigure said he left a note for you-" she said, looking frantically between Tohru and Kazuma.
"Rin, please take a breath. Panic is not going to make this easier," Master said softly.
Rin nodded, taking a deep breath. Then two. Then she spoke.
"Kyo was taken to the cat room the day after the accident. Nobody has seen or heard from him. Nobody is allowed inside."
The news bounces off the walls, rings inside Tohru's ears. If either of them say anything else, Tohru doesn't hear it.
The cat room.
It's much worse than anything she could've imagined.
"But..." Tohru says softly. Merely a whisper. "He hasn't graduated yet. I thought he had until then."
She was figuring out a plan. A plan to run away, to leave with him, right after she told him how she felt. They were going to run far away, away from the Sohmas and the estate and the cat room. Away from where all those terrible things happened to the both of them. She didn't know where they were going to go. Maybe they'd drive to the edge of Japan and find a home. Maybe they'd go off the grid and live off the land. Maybe they'd stow away on a boat or plane across the ocean. Anything would've been better than the hell they live in now, where the ghosts and memories haunt them, where the Sohmas are always one step away.
It was the perfect plan, and before that day she was sure Kyo would agree with it.
"It seems Akito has had a change of heart," Kazuma says.
"Tohru," Rin says, far more gently.
"We have to get him out," Tohru says. Again, barely heard.
"Tohru," Rin says again.
"We have to get him out of there! He there's got to be a way-"
"Tohru!" Rin shouts, slamming her hand on the table. Tohru stops and looks at her, tears streaming down her face. "There's not breaking him out."
Tohru was about to argue, but Master interrupted. "Isuzu is right. There is no breaking him out. The cottage is under constant surveillance, both by people and cameras. Only the caretakers are allowed inside, and other people Akito allows. And, from what I know, there's only one key, and you know Akito will keep it within arm's reach at all times. It's too dangerous." He pauses, sighing. "If you're going to free him, you're going to have to convince Akito."
Tohru stared at her hands in her lap, shaking so violently she couldn't control them.
"I couldn't save him..." she said, her voice soft and breaking. "I didn't get the chance to say goodbye."
Tohru knows all too well this pain. The pain of being unable to say goodbye. But now there's something else she didn't say. So much she couldn't say. And the last time she saw him... they left on such bad terms...
He probably hates her.
But Tohru doesn't care.
Tohru cries, and Rin holds her, letting her. Master takes Tohru back to Hanajima's that night, and Hana is the only one still awake. Without questions and after thanking Master, she takes Tohru to bed.
ᓚᘏᗢ
Kyo had to comply. When Akito came to see him in the cat room, after he'd showered and changed into the clothes they gave him, he came to gloat.
He'd said that if he dared to escape – which was impossible anyway – he wouldn't kill him.
No, Akito didn't make a single threat to Kyo's life. He did, however, make several to Tohru's. Akito said he'd murder the girl himself if Kyo stepped a toe out of line, or he'd build a separate cage for her, monster that she supposedly is to Akito.
Kyo listened. He didn't react, didn't even look at him. It's what Akito wanted. He wanted a fight, a reaction. Anything to show he'd won. But when Kyo didn't even reply, he turned and left.
The cottage had plenty to do, and the attendant Kyo couldn't remember the name of told him he could request books to read or things to do. Kyo nodded but didn't do anything.
He sat in the dark, and when he was sure he was alone, he cried.
He'd failed her. He swore to protect her. He swore to her mother he'd protect her. And he'd not only failed, but had rubbed salt in the wound when he threw her confession back in her face when he felt the same. He swore he would protect her from Akito. And now he was here, and Tohru was out there with Akito. And Kyo didn't doubt those threats for a second. So, he reasoned, in a way he was still protecting her here.
She'd hate him for giving up that easily. She'd tell him to keep looking for ways to escape, to keep trying, to fight like he was so good at. But with her life on the line, there was no other choice.
Kyo sent a silent prayer to whoever might be listening. He prayed she'd keep living for him. That she'll still graduate in just over a month now, that she'll be happy in what she peruses, and that she'll fall in love again. As much as it hurt, he meant every silent word.
And there he would remain, once again unable to say sorry, once again unable to say goodbye.
Kyo wouldn't admit it on his dying breath, but he was always a romantic. But he never dreamed it would hurt this much.
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It's been a minute since I've written pure, unfiltered angst, but I feel like this is the fandom to stretch that particular writing muscle. Anyway, I'm still open to suggestions and ideas on where this could go. I've written so far with like no outline, so it's safe to say the plan so far is to just write until it feels finished. But if y'all have any scenes or ideas, I'd love to hear them.
Unrelated, but I wrote this while listening to Dynamite by BTS, so it's safe to say I might be clinically insane.