Camila furrowed her eyebrows. This didn't look right. She twirled around in front of the mirror and huffed.
"You are not pretty," she stated, pulling the navy dress over her head and tossing it aside. Her eyes landed on the pastel yellow dress hanging in the closet, but she forced herself to look away. It was bright. That wasn't normal. Lauren wanted her to be normal.
After Lauren had left the next morning, Camila immediately locked herself in the bedroom and began practicing. Practicing for being normal.
Dinah had said the 'normal' couples went to the party. So Camila had to be normal. That's what Lauren would want.
The smaller girl padded back over to the closet. She didn't want to wear a dress, she decided. That was okay. Normal people could wear skirts, too.
Camila retrieved her favorite purple skirt from the closet and slipped it on. She smiled happily at herself in the mirror, pleased with her reflection. After finding a ruffled white top to wear as well, Camila studied herself in the mirror. She looked normal.
Luckily, she had watched Lauren do her hair enough times to catch on to what she needed to do. She shuffled across the hallway and found the pink spray bottle that the older girl always used. Camila turned it around in her hands, furrowing her eyebrows when she realized she wasn't sure how to use it.
A few seconds later, she was coughing and spitting out the foul tasting substance into the sink. Well, at least she found out how to use it.
After wiping her face on a towel, Camila sprayed the product in her hair a few times and set the bottle down. She studied her reflection intently while she ran her fingers through her hair a few times.
All that was left was makeup. This was the part she was unsure of. She remembered Lauren using a black bag in the cabinets. Camila knelt down, retrieving the makeup bag and dumping its contents onto the counter.
The smaller girl immediately grabbed a colorful container, struggling to pop the lid off. She didn't know her own strength, though, because once she finally got the lid off, bobby pins went flying across the tile floor.
"Shhh," Camila whispered, bending down and beginning to pick all the small pieces up. When she stood up with her handfuls of bobby pins, she nearly fell back down as she came face to face with Normani.
"What're you doing?" the taller girl asked, raising an eyebrow at Camila's outfit.
"I..." Camila shook her head, spilling the bobby pins back into the small container. "I am getting ready."
"For what?" Normani asked. Camila motioned to her outfit and smiled.
"The party," she hummed, turning back to the sink and studying the makeup products she'd placed on the counter. "Me and Lolo are going."
"Does Lauren know this?" Normani laughed softly, slipping past Camila and sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Camila furrowed her eyebrows and shrugged.
"She will when she gets back," Camila giggled and held up a makeup brush. Tilting her head to the side, the smaller girl grew confused.
"I do not know what I am doing," Camila confessed, turning to Normani and holding up the brush. The other girl laughed, standing up and shaking her head.
"You don't use that first," she took the brush from Camila and placed it back down on the counter. "You don't need a lot of make up."
"But I have to be pretty," Camila raised her eyebrows pleadingly.
"You already are, doofus," Normani laughed and grabbed a circular container of blush, opening it and turning to Camila. "Is it okay if I help you?"
Camila nodded, smiling excitedly. Normani laughed and gently turned Camila so she was facing her. She began brushing the blush on Camila's cheeks, which caused the smaller girl to giggle.
"That tickles," Camila whispered, trying to keep her face as still as possible. Normani laughed and nodded in agreement. She set the blush brush down and grabbed the lip gloss, dabbing a small amount on her finger and dotting it across Camila's lips.
"Smack your lips," Normani instructed, turning back to the counter and beginning to look for an eyeshadow brush. She immediately looked back up when she heard a loud clapping noise.
"Ouch," Camila mumbled, bringing her hand away from her face and rubbing her lips.
"No, I didn't mean smack your lips," Normani laughed and quickly wiped the excess lip gloss off of Camila's hands. "I meant rub them together. Like this." She demonstrated with her own lips.
"Oh," Camila giggled, imitating Normani and then looking at the older girl hopefully.
"Good job," Normani gave her a thumbs up and grabbed a palette of eyeshadow, opening it and holding it between them. "Pick a color."
"This one is..." Camila furrowed her eyebrows and pointed to the color that caught her attention. "It is pink... but it is... it is... glowing?"
"Sparkly," Normani laughed, swiping the brush across the color Camila was pointing to. "Sparkly, shimmery, shiny – all those words work."
"Shimmery," Camila whispered, liking the new word she'd discovered. It tickled her lips when she said it. "Shim... shimmery," she giggled.
"Exactly," Normani crinkled her nose and tapped the space between Camila's eyes. "Close your eyes, and keep 'em closed until I tell you to open them again. Okay?"
Camila nodded and squeezed her eyes shut. She felt Normani's fingers holding her head in place and she giggled when the brush swept across her eyelids.
"You can open them now," Normani set the brush down on the counter and watched as Camila turned to look at herself in the mirror. She closed one eye, trying to get a glimpse of the eyeshadow.
"Shimmery," she noted, smiling at herself in the mirror. She turned back to Normani and giggled softly. "Is there more?"
Normani held up the cylinder of mascara and debated whether or not to use it. Camila furrowed her eyebrows and studied the colorful container.
"What is that?" she asked, tapping the mascara. Normani unscrewed the lid and showed it to the smaller girl.
"It's mascara. It goes on your eyelashes," Normani explained. Camila nodded and bit her lip.
"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," the older girl began to screw the cap back on, but Camila reached out to stop her. The smaller girl shook her head and smiled nervously. She needed to be normal.
After a few minutes of Camila struggling to keep her eyes open, Normani finally was able to get a decent amount of mascara on the smaller girl's eyelashes. Camila sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes and turning to look at herself in the mirror.
"Do I look pretty?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Of course," Normani laughed and piled all of the makeup back into the small bag. "Is that what you're wearing?"
Camila nodded and fluffed out her skirt slightly, with a soft smile on her face. "Yes. Will Lolo be happy?"
Normani just shrugged and leaned against the doorframe. "I thought you didn't like parties?" she asked, genuinely curious about Camila's sudden interest in the going out.
"I want to," Camila shrugged. "I want to, for Lolo."
"You're sure?" Normani raised an eyebrow. Camila just smiled and nodded.
"Yes. I am sure," she crossed the hallway and sat down on Lauren's bed, bending down and tugging her white converse onto her feet. They were the only shoes she liked to wear. It seemed that every other pair she tried on had something wrong with them. They were either too itchy, or too loose, or way too small. So she stuck with what she knew.
Before Normani could respond, both girls heard the front door of the apartment slam shut. Camila's face lit up and she hopped up from the bed.
"Lolo!" she called, practically falling down the stairs. She grabbed the banister at the bottom to steady herself and smiled widely at Lauren. "Hi," she giggled.
"Careful there, Camz," Lauren laughed, tossing her bag aside and giving the smaller girl a once over. "What are you...?"
"I am dressed," Camila twirled in a circle and smiled proudly. "For the party."
"Party?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, party?" Camila tilted her head to the side and approached Lauren. "Remember? You were talking about it yesterday."
"Oh, right," Lauren nodded, remembering her conversation with Dinah. "I didn't realize you would want to go."
Camila bit her lip. Truth is, she was scared of going to this party. But her desire to be normal and please Lauren was greater. "I want to go, can we?" she asked hopefully, studying Lauren's face.
"Well since you're already dressed..." Lauren laughed softly and twirled a piece of Camila's hair around her finger. "I guess I should go get ready?"
"Yes!" Camila smiled excitedly and practically tackled Lauren into a hug. She could prove to the older girl that she was normal. "Thank you, you're welcome."
Camila waited patiently in the living room, watching an episode of Friends while Lauren got dressed. She was so entranced by the characters on the screen that she didn't hear the soft footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Is this okay?" a soft voice came from behind her. Camila turned around, her eyes widening when she saw Lauren. The older girl was wearing black jeans with a burgundy top underneath her signature leather jacket. Camila struggled to find her words.
"Pretty," she said after a few moments, scrambling to her feet and hurrying over to Lauren. She ran her fingers over the smooth material of the girl's jacket. "You are so pretty."
Lauren blushed and hid her face, which only made Camila giggle. "We're riding with Dinah and her date, so whenever he gets here we're gonna leave," Lauren explained, reaching out and placing her hands on Camila's waist. The smaller girl shivered.
"Are you sure you wanna do this, Camz?" Lauren asked, pressing her forehead against Camila's and feeling the smaller girl's warm breath against her skin. "If you don't feel comfortable, we don't have to go."
"I want to," Camila furrowed her eyebrows. She didn't like Lauren trying to get her to admit that she was scared. She had to be normal. "I want to," she repeated, finality in her voice. Lauren sensed this and decided not to push the topic any further.
"Hey, it's okay," Lauren laughed softly, still slightly concerned. "I was just making sure."
"Oh," Camila mumbled, shaking her head and looking down at the ground. "Do I look weird?" she asked, taking a step back and smoothing out her shirt. She was growing increasingly nervous.
"You look beautiful," Lauren gave her a soft smile. "But what's new?" she raised an eyebrow.
Camila blushed, looking down at the ground. "I think you are so beautiful, Lolo. I am glad I get to tell you." She reached up and ran her thumb across Lauren's bottom lip, studying her face intently.
Lauren's face turned red and she shivered. Camila slowly moved her hands up to Lauren's shoulders and stood on her tiptoes, bringing their lips together softly.
Camila felt the all-too-familiar feeling of butterflies in her stomach. It wasn't something she ever wanted to forget. No one else made her feel like this. Only Lauren.
"Hey losers, our ride's here!" Dinah called, jogging down the stairs and interrupting the two girls. Lauren jumped, turning around and quickly trying to hide her frustration. Camila whimpered at the loss of contact.
"Y'ready?" Lauren asked, turning to Camila. She bit her lip, looking down at the ground. She wasn't sure about this, but she had to prove to Lauren that she could be normal. Camila didn't want to lose her. So she nodded softly.
"Let's go," Lauren grabbed Camila's hand, leading her towards the door. The small gesture gave Camila a burst of confidence, and she skipped happily behind the older girl. She quickly realized that skipping wasn't normal, though, and slowed her pace to a simple walk.
Within the fifteen minutes it took to get to the party, the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Camila squeezed her eyes shut in the back of the car. She didn't like the dark. There were bad things in the dark. Anything unknown was bad.
"Camz," Lauren nudged the smaller girl's arm, bringing her out of her trance. "We're here." Camila nodded quickly, crawling out of the car behind Lauren. She was instantly met with the loud pounding of the bass coming from the house.
Lauren glanced at the smaller girl, concerned. "Are you sure about this?"
"Yes," Camila nodded firmly. "I told you already."
Lauren took a deep breath, squeezing Camila's hand and slowly walking towards the house. To be honest, Lauren didn't quite like parties either. But Camila had been so serious about wanting to come. Lauren didn't want to take the opportunity away from her.
Camila followed timidly behind Lauren. The loud music was physically painful in her ears, but she forced herself to endure it. For Lauren.
She jumped when a drink was shoved in her hand the moment they set foot in the house. Camila tilted her head to the side, sniffing the liquid and then bringing the cup to her lips. Before she could take a sip, though, Lauren practically snatched it out of her hands.
"Don't drink that, it's bad," she warned, shaking her head and placing the cup down on a random table. Camila furrowed her eyebrows, picking the cup up again and studying it. It smelled all too familiar.
A nauseating feeling washed over her and she quickly set the cup back down, shaking her head and backing up into Lauren. "Bad," she whispered, clenching her fists.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," Lauren grabbed Camila's hand and led her into the kitchen. She had to speak loudly to be heard over the music. "What do you want to do?"
"What... what is there to do?" Camila scanned the room. A couple was pressed up against the wall, practically eating each others faces. Camila grimaced.
"I'm not sure, honestly," Lauren shrugged. "This is Dinah and Mani's turf, not mine. They can barely get me to come to one of th—," she stopped speaking when she realized Camila wasn't paying attention to her.
Instead, the smaller girl had her eyes fixed on a group of teenagers in the living room. A crowd had formed around two college aged boys, staring each other down. Suddenly, a punch was thrown, and Camila flinched.
"Shit," Lauren cursed under her breath, grabbing Camila's hand and pulling her out of the room before the smaller girl had to witness anything else. She located the back door and quickly led them both out into the backyard.
"Why were they fighting?" Camila asked shyly, glancing back in the direction of the house. She followed Lauren over to a circle of chairs on the patio.
"Alcohol makes people do crazy things sometimes," Lauren shrugged, biting her lip when she heard a crash coming from inside the house. She cursed herself for allowing Camila to come with them.
"I do not like alcohol," Camila shook her head and looked down.
"Neither do I," Lauren admitted, reaching out to take Camila's hand. At the same time, though, the smaller girl remembered that she was supposed to be normal. Camila jumped to her feet and glanced towards the door.
"I want to go back inside," she said nervously, walking towards the door. Truth is, everything about this place was terrifying her. The loud music, the people, the flashing lights – everything. She hated it. But she wanted to spend time with Lauren.
She shuffled towards the door and pulled it open slowly. Just as Lauren caught up behind her, two guys stumbled through the door and practically slammed into Camila. She scrambled backwards, bringing her hands up just as she fell to the ground.
"Please," she shook her head, feeling her hands begin to shake. They were too drunk to notice her, they just walked straight past the smaller girl on the ground. Camila whimpered.
Lauren balled her fists and glared at the two men before quickly running to Camila's side.
"C'mon," she said softly, giving up on allowing Camila to try and stick out the party. She knew it was bothering the girl. "How about we get out of here?"
Camila wiped her eyes, looking up at Lauren and feeling a lump form in her throat. This wasn't normal. Lauren wanted her to be normal. She shook her head slowly.
"Well too bad," Lauren grabbed Camila's hand and pulled her up to her feet. "I don't want to be here either, Camila."
"Really?" Camila tilted her head to the side. Lauren nodded quietly, leading Camila around the front of the house.
"But parties are normal," Camila whispered. Lauren laced their fingers together and looked at the smaller girl questioningly.
"What?"
"I am not normal," Camila shook her head and brought her hands up to wipe her eyes. "I need to be normal. Normal is good."
"You're crazy," Lauren kept a firm grip on Camila's hand. "What's wrong with not being normal? Who wants normal?"
"You," Camila pointed to the older girl. "Dinah too."
Lauren suddenly remembered the conversation Camila had happened to overhear and was instantly washed over with guilt.
"I don't want normal, Camz," she stopped walking once they reached the front of the house. "I want you. I don't need normal."
"But..." Camila looked down at the ground and sighed. "I am annoying. I am not normal. No one will like me unless I am normal."
"Hey, don't you dare say that," Lauren cupped Camila's face and stared her straight in the eyes. "I like you. Dinah likes you. Ally likes you. Normani likes you. So many people like you. You don't have to be normal. Normal is overrated."
"I am sorry," Camila whispered. Lauren shook her head.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, babe," she kissed Camila's forehead and pulled the smaller girl into a hug. "To be honest, I probably hate parties just as much as you do."
"You do?" Camila giggled softly, pulling away from the hug.
"I do," Lauren reiterated what she had said. She gave Camila a goofy smile and cupped the smaller girl's cheek. "I hear there's a really good frozen yogurt place just a few blocks away. I think we should do check it out."
Camila's face lit up and she nodded quickly. "I like froyo, much better than parties." Lauren laughed and rolled her eyes playfully.
"Me too, Camz," she led the smaller girl down the sidewalk, kicking a pebble as they walked. Maybe Camila was right, this wasn't normal. But hell, this was exactly what she wanted.
—
a/n: this chapter was a little happier, right? at least at the end lmao. tomorrow's chapter is all fluff basically. but you didn't hear that from me.
i know i said i wasn't posting today but i ended up pulling an all nighter just to crank out another chapter lmao. so here you go babes.
also omg. camila wore yellow when yellow came out and now all of a sudden pictures emerge today of her wearing blue? she's definitely trying to tell us something. or maybe i'm just delusional. or both, who knows.
lol, okay babes. as always, have a great day and let me know what you think!
- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, forbrighterskies on tumblr)