Camila crinkled her nose, rolling over to try and avoid the blinding light streaming through the windows. A few moments later, her mind caught up with her and she sat up quickly. Her eyes scanned the room and a state of panic set in.
"Lolo?" she said anxiously, looking over the empty spot on the bed where Lauren had been. She rolled off of the bed bit her lip nervously. Where had Lauren gone? Camila was always the first to wake up.
"Hello?" Camila raised her voice, beginning to pull the blankets off of the bed and look for any hints to where Lauren might be. "Lolo?"
She jumped when the door to the bedroom flew open and Dinah appeared, raising an eyebrow at the smaller girl.
"She's at class, Camila, you know that," Dinah wiped her eyes.
"She did not say goodbye," Camila shook her head and slumped down on the bed. "She is mad at me."
"Or maybe she was just running late," Dinah sighed and walked over to Camila, sitting down next to her. "She'll be back before dinner. She always is."
"I know," Camila crawled back up on the bed and pulled the blankets up, completely covering her body. Dinah looked at her questioningly.
"What are you doing, Mila?" Dinah laughed, nudging the figure under the blanket. Camila scooted away and shook her head.
"I am sleeping. Please go away," Camila curled the blanket around her fists and took a deep breath. She didn't want Dinah knowing how much it bothered her that Lauren hadn't said goodbye.
Goodbyes scared Camila. But at the same time, they comforted her. She'd had way too many goodbyes in her life. What if Lauren never came back? She wouldn't even remember the last words that they exchanged.
Dinah sighed, deciding against trying to get Camila to move. She left the room without another word, causing the smaller girl to flinch when the door shut behind her.
Camila lifted her head carefully and bit her lip. She slowly untangled herself from the blankets and padded down the hallway. Music was blasting from Dinah's bedroom, and she assumed Normani was still asleep. Ally and Lauren both had class.
Quietly, Camila sat down on the floor by the door and pulled on her worn converse. She wasn't quite sure what to do with the laces, so she just allowed them to hang freely. Scrambling back up to her feet, she checked to make sure no one had seen her before slipping out of the apartment door.
The park was just across the street, she remembered. A soft smile graced her features when she remembered the flowers Lauren had planted there. They'd been so busy with the holidays that they hadn't been back to visit them in a while. Camila figured it was time she gave them some attention.
She shivered when she made it outside, watching the cars buzz by in the busy street. Cars were bad. Unless you were inside them. If you weren't inside a car, walking around them wasn't too safe. Lauren had taught her that.
Lauren had also taught her how to cross the street so she wouldn't get hurt by the cars. Camila looked up at the sky and smiled, happy to be outside. It was cold, but she wasn't too bothered.
She stood patiently on the edge of the sidewalk, watching the light across the street that signaled to her when it was time to walk. Only a few moments later, the traffic slowed down and the light changed colors. Camila giggled excitedly and jogged across the street.
She quickly followed the path into the park, picking up the pace as she neared the familiar corner where her flowery friends resided. They reminded her of Lauren. Pretty and colorful. But Lauren was annoyed with her, so her flowers were the next best thing.
Her expression quickly changed, though, when she rounded the corner and was met with something completely different than what she'd expected.
The once colorful flowers all lay dead on the ground, coated in a thin layer of frost. Camila immediately ran over to them, dropping to her knees and gently patting the tops of the flowers.
"Someone killed you," she whispered, feeling guilt wash over her. She hadn't been there to protect them. She had let the flowers die. This was all her fault.
Camila blinked a few times, growing confused when she felt something warm on her face. She slowly brought her hand up to her cheek and realized she was crying. Growing frustrated with herself, Camila wiped the tears from her eyes and continued trying to get the flowers to stand back up.
"You have to stand up," Camila mumbled to the plants, sitting cross legged and trying to use sticks to create some sort of splint for their stems. No matter what she did, the flowers would always fall back over.
"I am so sorry," the smaller girl wiped her eyes once more. Lauren wasn't going to be happy with her either, Camila thought. She rose slowly to her feet and let her eyes trace over the patch of dead flowers. She'd let the pretty things die.
Unsure of what else to do, Camila slowly padded over to the bench and sat down. She curled her legs up and hugged them to her chest. This gave her a clear view of the dead flowers. She deserved to be sad over them. She had killed them.
Two hours later, Lauren was busy packing up her art supplies. Her advanced art class had definitely proved to be a challenge, and she'd just spend the last few hours attempting to add the finishing touches to one of her projects. Every time her teacher would walk by, though, he'd grimace. Lauren grew frustrated with herself for not being able to produce something worthy of his approval.
She slipped out of the classroom as soon as she was finished packing up. It was freezing cold outside, and she wrapped her jacket tight around her shoulders.
To be quite honest, she felt guilty for leaving without waking Camila that morning. Something was off between them. She didn't want to disturb the younger girl. She looked forward to having Camila waiting for her when she got home.
Camila wasn't waiting for her.
The second Lauren opened the door and came face to face with an empty apartment, she knew something was up. Looking down, her suspicions were confirmed. Camila's converse were gone. Shit.
Lauren tossed her bag aside and ran upstairs, hoping Dinah or Normani knew where she was. She let herself into Dinah's room without knocking.
Dinah's head shot up from her laptop. She raised an eyebrow at Lauren's worried expression.
"What's up?" she asked, tugging her headphones out of her ears. Lauren brought her hands up to her hair and shook her head.
"Camila's gone," Lauren stared at Dinah, hoping she knew where the smaller girl was. "Her shoes are gone. She's mad at me."
"She was upset when you didn't say goodbye to her this morning," Dinah noted, remembering her conversation with Camila earlier. "She's really not in your bedroom? That's where she's been all day."
"Are you sure?" Lauren asked, running out of the room and across the hallway before Dinah could answer. The Polynesian girl quickly followed her and watched as Lauren tore the blankets off of an empty bed.
"At least... she was in there," Dinah added, running a hand through her hair.
"Shit," Lauren shook her head and kicked the doorframe out of frustration. "I'm always doing this! What if she's hurt? This is all my fault." She clenched her fists.
"Hey, hey, okay," Dinah grabbed Lauren's shoulders to calm her down. "Let's not make assumptions. Now, if you were Camila, where would you go if you were bored?"
Lauren took a deep breath and thought for a moment. The park.
"Thank you," she sighed, pushing past Dinah and back down the staircase. "I'll be back. Call me if she comes back or anything!" Lauren called, running out of the apartment.
She sprinted across the street, shivering in the cold winter air. Lauren wasn't one to believe in superstitions, but she found herself crossing her fingers and praying that Camila was alright.
She skidded to a stop when she rounded the corner and saw a figure on the bench. Leaning over to catch her breath, she wiped her eyes and looked back up. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Camila, curled up on the bench and staring blankly into the distance.
Unsure of how to approach this, Lauren slowly walked over and sat down on the bench beside the girl.
"Aren't you cold?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at the smaller girl in only a t-shirt. Camila slowly lifted her head and smiled widely when she saw Lauren. But she quickly wiped the smile off her face when she realized why they were there.
Lauren's smile faltered when she saw the expression on Camila's face. She swallowed her pride, shedding herself of her jacket and slowly laying it across Camila's shoulders. The smaller girl didn't argue, due to the fact that she truly was freezing.
"I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye," Lauren began, looking down at her hands in her lap and sighing. "I was already running l-,"
"I killed them."
Lauren paused. "What?"
Camila squirmed slightly and shook her head, burying her face in her knees. Lauren was going to be mad at her. She didn't want to annoy her any more than she already was.
"Camila, what?" Lauren scooted closer to Camila and placed a hand on her arm. "You did what?"
"I killed them," Camila lifted her head slowly. Lauren's mind instantly went to the worst case scenario, remembering what had happened with her uncle.
"You killed who?" Lauren asked hesitantly, becoming increasingly worried by the second. Camila just squeezed her eyes shut and pointed forwards.
"Huh?" Lauren turned her head, her eyes landing on the flowers across from them. "Oh," Lauren whispered. She breathed a sigh of relief.
"You didn't do that, Camila," she ran her hand down the smaller girl's arm and laced their fingers together.
"Yes I did," Camila snapped her head up and furrowed her eyebrows. "I let them die. I did not come visit them." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Camz," Lauren laughed softly, shaking her head and reaching out to wipe the tears from Camila's cheeks. "You didn't kill them. It's what happens every winter."
"I kill them every winter?" Camila's eyes widened.
"No," the green eyed girl quickly shook her head. "That's not what I meant."
"I do not understand," Camila furrowed her eyebrows.
"Flowers always wilt at this time of year," Lauren scooted closer to Camila and draped an arm across her shoulders. "They can't live when it gets so cold out."
"So they always die?" the smaller girl whispered in shock, looking across at the flowers. "Why would the sun let that happen? They do not deserve to die."
"I wish I knew, Camz," Lauren turned to look at Camila and gave her a soft smile. "It's okay, Camila. There will be more flowers in the spring."
"But these ones are dead," Camila pointed to the flowers across from them. "I let them die."
"You couldn't have done anything," Lauren leaned forward and kissed Camila's temple. "It's just how nature works."
"You are not mad at me?" Camila's cheeks blushed pink when she felt Lauren kiss her.
"Why would I be?" Lauren asked, tilting her head to the side. "I thought you would be mad at me for leaving without saying goodbye."
"I was not mad," Camila said softly, looking down at her hands. "I was only sad."
Lauren felt increasingly guilty. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to make you sad."
Camila just shrugged and gave Lauren a soft smile. "It is okay. I forgive you. You're welcome."
"I'm welcome?" Lauren giggled, raising an eyebrow. Camila nodded proudly.
"Thank you, you're welcome," she smiled happily.
"You're a dork," Lauren laughed, nudging Camila's shoulder. "C'mon, let's get you inside. It's freezing." She stood up and held out her hand for Camila to take.
The smaller girl giggled and crinkled her nose. She was instantly comforted by the fact that Lauren wasn't mad at her.
"Am I annoying?" Camila asked timidly as they walked back up to the apartment. Lauren immediately stopped walking and gazed at Camila in shock.
"Are you annoying?" she asked, making sure she had heard her correctly. Camila nodded softly and Lauren shook her head. "What makes you think that you're annoying?"
"No one wants to talk to me," Camila remembered how ignored she had felt the other day. "I am annoying."
"I want to talk to you," Lauren squeezed Camila's hand. "If I had to pick only one person to talk to for the rest of my life, it would be you. I like hearing you talk."
"I am an idiot," Camila shook her head. She brought one of her hands up to her face, wiping her eyes.
"Don't say that, Camila," Lauren said firmly, grabbing both of Camila's hands and looking her straight in the eyes. "You are not an idiot, okay? You are Camila. And Camila is pretty awesome just the way she is."
Camila tried to hide her smile, but failed. She looked down shyly and shrugged, shuffling her feet on the cold ground. "Lolo is awesome, too."
"I know," Lauren teased, tilting her chin in the air to feign cockiness. Camila giggled.
Once they made it back to the apartment, Camila followed Lauren into the kitchen as the green eyed girl began searching the pantry to find something to make for dinner.
"Dinah was supposed to go grocery shopping," Lauren sighed, crossing her arms and scanning the nearly empty shelves. Camila padded over and did the same.
"Noodles," Camila observed, grabbing a box off of the bottom shelf and holding it up. "We can make pash.... psh...."
"Pasta?" Lauren tilted her head to the side, trying to complete Camila's sentence. The smaller girl shook her head and furrowed her eyebrows in thought.
"Pa... psh'getti!" She clapped her hands together, finally finding the right word. Lauren giggled and took the box from her.
"You mean spaghetti?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.
"That is what I said," Camila nodded once and grabbed a jar of spaghetti sauce from the cabinet. "Psh'getti."
"Psh'getti," Lauren imitated her, filling up a pot with water and placing it on the stove to boil. When she turned back around, she noticed how Camila was hugging her hands around her torso.
"Go get changed if you're cold, silly," she laughed, walking over and placing her hands on Camila's shoulders. "I'll be right down here."
"M'kay," Camila hummed, kissing Lauren on the cheek before shuffling over to the staircase and disappearing up the stairs.
As Lauren poured the pasta into the pan, she heard a set of footsteps behind her.
"Where was she?" Dinah asked, hopping up and sitting on the island.
"Park," Lauren shrugged and stirred the noodles. She glanced back at Dinah and raised an eyebrow. "Where's Mani?"
"On a date," Dinah smirked, glancing at the door. "She met this guy the other day. He's in a frat."
"A frat?" Lauren laughed, setting the wooden spoon down and turning around to face Dinah.
"Yup," Dinah pulled her phone out of her pocket, going into Instagram and handing her phone to Lauren. "That's him. Tall one on the right."
"Oh," Lauren nodded, setting the phone back on the counter. "Good thing I'm gay," she teased, earning a playful shove from Dinah.
"He's having a party tomorrow night," Dinah added. "He told us to invite all the couples we know." Lauren glanced up, assuming Dinah would extend her an invitation.
"All the normal couples, I mean," Dinah laughed, hopping off the counter and ruffling Lauren's hair. "I knew Camila would never go to a party in a million years."
Lauren just crinkled her nose and turned her attention back to the pasta, unaware of a quiet Camila standing at the bottom of the stairs, going over everything she had just heard in her head.
—
a/n: plot twist, lol.
i'm not sure how consistent updates will be from this friday-sunday because i have to help my friend out with a party (bleh) but i'll probably keep you updated through my twitter so just check there if you're curious.
as always, let me know what you think, and have a great day bbies!
- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, forbrighterskies on tumblr)