11:11
I was told when I was nine
that once I'd think about you,
you'd give me what I'd want.
You'd give me hope
and a smile to wear
like a pearl necklace.
11:11
I now lay awake every night,
toying with these shiny, opalescent pearls,
looped and displayed around my neck.
I still stare at those golden hands,
watching them move farther away.
Eight, tick, nine, tick, ten, tick–
Eleven.
11:11
You bring false hope
when you trick me into believing
that you can keep a promise.
And now, when I open my eyes,
all I can see
is a liar who pains me
whenever I wear that meaningless piece of jewelry.
11:11
Why are you a betrayer
when you can be any other number,
or something that doesn't even exist?
Maybe then I wouldn't waste my time,
staring up at the dark sky full of bright stars
and believing that you still hold the key to my happiness.
11:11
You make me cry a waterfall of tears
when you let me slip through your fingers rather than hold me.
I go from keeping my dark secrets locked in a chamber,
to handing you the key to my vulnerability.
I'm only setting myself up for bruises and a broken heart,
which will scar me forever.
11:11
I know better now than to trust your twisted lies.
I've unclasped the silver chain that's held these pearls together,
allowing them to fall to the ground and crack.
I don't care about those meaningless golden hands
that are now rusting from the oxygen that I can finally breathe.
You've lost the right to make me smile.
20.4.2022