Whew! What a few weeks it's been! I swear, the Tennant Christmas specials are the longest ever. I'll probably be eating those words when I finally write my takes on "The Day of the Doctor" . . .
Anyway, what happens when the Time Lords meet our favorite runaway bride?
Enjoy!
***
"You can't do that!" the Doctor stared at the ginger bride. "I wasn't - " He looked around. "We're in flight! That is . . . "
"That is physically impossible," the Alchemist agreed, frowning and looking at the scanner. "Yeah, still in flight."
"How did - " the Doctor began to ask.
"Tell me where I am!" the ginger shouted. "I demand you tell me right now, where am I?"
"Inside the TARDIS," the Doctor answered.
"The what?"
"The TARDIS."
"The what?"
"The TARDIS!"
"The what?"
"She's called the TARDIS," the Alchemist cut in, giving the Doctor a look.
"That's not even a proper word!" the bride huffed. "You're just saying things."
"Ever heard of acronyms?"
"How did you get in here?" the Doctor asked.
"Well, obviously when you kidnapped me! Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys?" The Time Lords looked at each other, the Alchemist looking amused at the stunned look on the Doctor's face. Clearly, he hadn't met this . . . vocal of a woman in a while, and he knew her. "Oh, my God, she's finally got me back," the bride groaned. "This has got Nerys written all over it!"
"Who the hell is Nerys?" the Doctor asked.
"Your best friend!"
"Yeah, we kind of just lost ours," the Alchemist mumbled.
"Hold on, wait a minute," the Doctor frowned at her dress. "What are you dressed like that for?"
"You are kidding me, right?" the Alchemist gawked at him. "Have you never seen a wedding before?"
"No, I'm going ten pin bowling," the bride sneered. "Why do you think, dumbo?! I was halfway up the aisle! I've been waiting all my life for this. I was just seconds away, and then you . . . I don't know. You drugged me or something!"
"We haven't done anything!" the Doctor protested.
"I'm having the police on you!" the bride pointed. "Me and my husband, as soon as he is my husband, we're going to sue the living backside off you!"
"And yes, I have seen a wedding, thank you," the Doctor told the Alchemist dryly. "Just never close up."
She rolled her eyes, but they widened when she saw the bride run for the door. "Wait a minute!" she shouted, running after.
"No, no, no, don't!" the Doctor put in, barreling after her.
The bride threw the doors open, and her eyes widened, terrified, as she stared out at the remains of the supernova the Time Lords had burned up. "You're in space," the Doctor told her calmly. "Outer space. This is our spaceship."
"She's called the TARDIS," the Alchemist added.
The bride looked around, stunned. "How am I breathing?"
"She's protecting us."
The bride looked at her. "Who are you?"
"I'm the Alchemist, and this is the Doctor," she answered, and the Doctor gave a small wave. "You?"
"Donna."
"Human?" the Doctor asked.
The Alchemist facepalmed as Donna gave him a look. "Yeah. Is that optional?"
"Well, it is for us," the Doctor gestured.
Donna looked back and forth between them. "You're aliens?"
"Yep," the Alchemist nodded.
Donna looked back out at the supernova, then finally said, "It's freezing with these doors open."
The Alchemist shut them as the Doctor ran to the console. "I don't understand that, and I understand everything. This . . . this can't happen! There is no way a human being can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside. It must be . . . "
"He overreacts when he doesn't know," the Alchemist warned Donna as the Doctor ran up to her with an ophthalmoscope to look in her eyes.
"Impossible," the Doctor continued. "Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA with the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic - " Donna slapped the Doctor hard, and despite herself, the Alchemist burst out laughing. The Doctor held his stinging cheek, staring at Donna, stunned. "What was that for?!"
"Get me to the church!" she yelled.
The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Right!" he snapped, going to the console. "Fine! We don't want you here anyway. Where is this wedding?"
"Saint Mary's," she answered, getting louder and angrier with every word. "Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System!"
"She's cheery," the Doctor grumbled as the Alchemist walked up to help him.
"Well, she did just appear out of nowhere, and she disappeared at a big moment," she reminded him. "We're not the only ones who have no idea what's going on."
"I knew it. Acting all innocent." The Time Lords turned, and the Doctor's face hardened as the Alchemist's fell. Donna was holding up a purple blouse . . . a very familiar one, too. "I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?"
The Alchemist swallowed hard. "That's my little sister's," she said. For Rose's twentieth birthday, when she was still on her last incarnation, the Doctor had dropped them off at the shops and let them have a day to themselves. That had been one of the Alchemist's personal gifts to Rose because the girl had loved it so much, even more so because she had given it to her.
"Where is she, then?" Donna challenged. "Popped out for a space walk?"
The Alchemist didn't answer as she stared at the blouse. "She's gone," the Doctor said for her.
"Gone where?"
"We lost her."
"Well, you can hurry up and lose me!" The Alchemist's gaze lifted, and she glared at Donna with a fierceness that would make Jackie Tyler proud. Donna faltered, seeing the look. "How do you mean, lost?"
The Alchemist just took the blouse and hung it over another railing. "Right!" the Doctor cleared his throat, trying to cut through the tension. "Chiswick!"
***
The Alchemist stepped out of the TARDIS and blinked. "I don't see a church!" she called into the TARDIS.
Donna stepped out and scowled. "I said Saint Mary's!" she shouted. "What sort of Martian are you? Where's this?"
The Doctor poked his head out, looking around, then frowned at the TARDIS. "Something's wrong with her," he said. "The TARDIS. It's like she's recalibrating!"
He ducked inside, rattling more stuff off. The Alchemist was about to help him when she saw Donna circling the TARDIS, stunned. "Oh," she smiled. "Yeah. She's bigger on the inside. It takes some getting used . . . to . . . " She sighed when Donna ran off. "Yeah, should have known. Doctor!"
He ran back out, and the two of them chased Donna further into the courtyard. "Donna!" the Doctor called.
"Leave me alone!" Donna shook her head furiously. "I just want to get married."
"We can get you there," the Alchemist said. "Come back to the TARDIS."
"No way," Donna looked over her shoulder. "That box is too weird."
"It's bigger on the inside, that's all," the Doctor shrugged.
"Oh, that's all?" Donna snarked before checking her watch. "Ten past three. I'm going to miss it."
"You can phone them," the Doctor suggested. "Tell them where you are."
"How do I do that?"
"Haven't you got a mobile?"
Donna stared at him. "I'm in my wedding dress," she said slowly. "It doesn't have pockets! Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting at Chez Alison, the one thing I forgot to say is 'give me pockets!'"
"I've made some with pockets," the Alchemist said thoughtfully.
"What, you're a dress maker?"
"I make . . . " She shrugged. "Just about anything, given the right materials."
"This man you're marrying, what's his name?" the Doctor asked.
Donna smiled. "Lance."
The Doctor looked to the heavens. "Good luck, Lance."
"Oi!" Donna barked, punching him in the arm. "No stupid Martians are going to stop me from getting married! To hell with you!"
"Now you've done it," the Alchemist sighed, running after Donna.
"We're . . . we're not . . . we're not . . . " The Doctor shook his head, running after them. "We're not from Mars!"
***
"TAXI!"
The Alchemist jumped away from the road as a cab drove right past. "Hang on, why's its light on, then?" she asked, confused.
"There's another one!" the Doctor said, pointing.
"Taxi!" Donna waved, but it drove past. "Oi!"
"There's one!"
"Oi!"
"Why aren't they stopping?" the Alchemist asked, looking around.
Donna looked over herself. "They think I'm in fancy dress," she realized.
Another driver drove past. "Stay off the sauce, darling!" he called.
"They think I'm drunk!"
A few men in a car shouted, "You're fooling no one, mate!"
Donna looked mortified. "They think I'm in drag!"
The Alchemist held up a finger, then put two others in her mouth and let out a sharp whistle that made even the Doctor wince and put his hands over his ears. "Ta da," she smiled as a taxi did a U-turn to pick them up.
"Saint Mary's in Chiswick, just off Hayden Road," Donna told the driver as she got in back with the Alchemist, the Doctor in front. "It's an emergency. I'm getting married. Just hurry up!"
"You know it'll cost you, sweetheart?" the driver said. "Double rates today."
Donna's eyes widened. "Oh, my God." She looked at the Alchemist. "Are you able to make money?"
"Unfortunately, no," she shook her head. "Doctor?'
"No," he shook his head. "Haven't you?"
Both women stared at him. "Pockets!" Donna hissed, gesturing to her dress.
***
The taxi dropped them off right where they started. "And that goes double for your mother!" Donna shouted angrily, the Alchemist giggling madly at the talking to she was giving the driver. "I'll have him. I've got his number. I'll have him. Talk about the Christmas spirit."
The Doctor blinked. "Is it Christmas?" he asked, looking around.
"You never saw the shops?" the Alchemist asked.
"I was a bit busy chasing a runaway bride, thank you."
"Well, duh," Donna rolled her eyes as they walked down the street. "Maybe not on Mars, but here, it's Christmas Eve." She brightened when they saw a phone box. "Phone box! We can reverse the charges!"
"How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?" the Doctor asked as Donna and the Alchemist got in. "I'll get the money," he added, heading for the cash machine.
"Can't bear it," Donna answered. "I hate Christmas. Honeymoon, Morocco. Sunshine, lovely."
"Donna, you shouldn't get married on a day because you hate it and you think that'll make it better," the Alchemist chided. "Choose a day that means more to you."
Donna gave her a look. "How would you know? You don't wear a ring."
"No, but the Doctor and I are married in universal terms," she shrugged. "It's the Bonding. Permanent sear in our minds, can't be undone . . . not by anything I know, at least, and unlike him, I know more than him, so I know everything. We just pass it off as engaged here on Earth. For instance, here's a trick I bet you didn't know." She tapped her fingers on the box, then jabbed her elbow into the phone line. "Just call the direct."
Donna stared at the phone when she heard the dialing tone. "What did you do?"
"Something creative and Martian," she winked. "Go on. Phone."
Donna got to work dialing, then groaned. "Oh, answer the phone! Mum, get off the phone and listen. I'm in . . . " She looked at the Alchemist, who shook her head. "Oh, my God, I don't know where I am. It's a street, and there's WH Smith, but it's definitely Earth."
The Alchemist shook her head fondly, then stepped away, slipping her sunglasses on as the sun came out. She smiled, looking around . . . then faltered when she saw a few familiar friends. "Oh, blimey . . . "
"Taxi!" Donna suddenly shouted, and the Alchemist spun to see Donna open the door to a taxi. "Saint Mary's, Chiswick." She turned and smirked. "Thanks for nothing, Spaceman, Spacegirl! I'll see you both in court!"
"Spacegirl?" the Alchemist sputtered.
The cash point suddenly exploded, and money flew everywhere. The Doctor ran towards her, eyes wide. "Santas are robots!"
"And you're awake for this one!" she added as they ran down the street, hurrying to the TARDIS.
***
"I promise you, mate, I'll give you the rest when we get there," Donna told the taxi driver as she took off her veil. "Oh, I look a mess. Hurry up!" She sat back as the driver drove, but frowned when they kept on driving. "Hold on a minute, I said Chiswick. You missed the turning." The driver didn't do anything, so Donna leaned forward. "Excuse me, we should've turned off back there. We're going the wrong way! What the hell are you doing? I'm late for the wedding. My own wedding, do you get that? Turn around! Turn this cab around right now! Are you deaf or what?"
Donna tugged the driver's hood off, and stared in horror at the machinery of the robot underneath. "Oh, my God!" She turned to bang on the window. "Help me!" she screamed, hoping someone would hear. "Help me! Help me! Help me! Get me out! Help me! Help me! I'm being driven by a robot!"
She faltered when she saw something she didn't expect: a blue police public call box flying down on the highway. "You are kidding me."
***
"Can you keep her going?" the Doctor asked the Alchemist as sparks flew everywhere.
"Yes!" she answered, jerking her head towards the door. "Go get her!"
The Doctor ran to the door and opened it, looking down at the taxi where Donna was. "Open the door!" he shouted.
"Do what?" she asked, her voice muffled.
"Open the door!" he repeated.
"I can't, it's locked!" The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and buzzed the door, and Donna put her window down. "Santa's a robot!" she called.
"Donna, open the door," he told her.
"What for?"
"You've got to jump!"
She gawked at him. "I'm not blinking flip jumping! I'm supposed to be getting married!"
The car sped up, and the Doctor looked at the Alchemist. She grabbed a lever with one hand and kicked another with the toe of her boot. She ducked down to avoid flying sparks, but the TARDIS sped up to reach the car again. "Listen to me, you've got to jump!" the Doctor shouted.
"I'm not jumping on a motorway!" Donna protested.
"Whatever that thing is, it needs you, and whatever it needs you for, it's not good! Now come on!"
"I'm in my wedding dress!"
The Doctor groaned and rolled his eyes. "Yes, you look lovely! Come on!"
Donna swallowed, then opened the door. She took one look at the highway speeding by, then shook her head. "I can't do it!"
"Trust me," the Doctor pleaded.
Donna stared at him. "Is that what you said to her? Your friend, her sister? The one you lost? Did she trust you?"
"Yes, she did," the Doctor nodded. "And she is not dead. She is so alive. Now, jump!"
Donna did, and she landed on top of the Doctor, the two of them falling back into the TARDIS. The Alchemist closed the doors, then scrambled to get the TARDIS away from the highway as the console sparked even more.
***
"You know, I've never really flown a TARDIS before," the Alchemist sad as stepped out of the TARDIS, tossing an empty fire extinguisher to the side. "I don't think she's meant to do that. Best wait a few hours."
The Doctor looked at Donna as she stared out over the city. "You all right?"
She shrugged halfheartedly. "Doesn't matter."
"Did we miss it?"
"Yeah."
"Well, you could book another date."
Donna sighed. "'Course we can."
"You've still got the honeymoon."
"It's just a holiday now."
"Yeah," he sighed, shaking his head. Really, how was Alice so good with words when he wasn't? "Yeah. Sorry."
"It's not your fault," Donna shook her head.
"Really?" the Alchemist raised an eyebrow. "That's a first."
"Oi!" he protested as she winked at him. "I am not that bad!"
"Wish you had a time machine," Donna remarked. "Then we could go back and get it right."
"Small problem with that," the Alchemist smirked. "No going back on someone's personal timeline. Wouldn't end well."
The Alchemist joined Donna on the edge of the rooftop, and the Doctor took his jacket off, putting it on her shoulders and sitting down next to the Alchemist. "God, you're skinny," Donna mumbled. "This wouldn't fit a rat."
"Oh, and you'd better put this on," the Doctor added, fishing a gold ring out of his pocket.
Donna's eyebrows raised. "Shouldn't you be giving that to her?" she asked, pointing at the Alchemist.
"Those creatures can trace you," he explained. "This is a bio-damper. Should keep you hidden." He ginned. "With this ring, I thee bio-damp."
"For better or for worse," Donna joked, letting him put it on. "So, come on, then. Robot Santas. What are they for?"
"They're scavengers," the Alchemist answered. "The Father Christmas guru is just a disguise. They want to blend in. Thing is, we met them last Christmas, so it's not much of a disguise around us."
"What happened then?"
Both Time Lords looked at Donna, stunned. "Great big spaceship hovering over London?" the Doctor asked. "You didn't notice?"
Donna cleared her throat. "I had a bit of a hangover."
The Alchemist snickered as the Doctor looked out over the city. "We spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate, with her sister's family," he said, pointing towards the Estate. "Still . . . gone now."
Donna looked at the Alchemist. "Your sister, who was she?"
"Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you?" the Doctor wondered loudly, turning her around to examine her. "And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know. What's your job?"
"I'm a secretary."
"It's weird," he frowned, scanning her with his sonic screwdriver. "I mean, you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not importa - ow!"
"Thank you," Donna smiled at the Alchemist, who nodded and checked her knuckles after power punching the Doctor in the shoulder.
"You're welcome."
Donna frowned at the Doctor when he tried to scan her again. "Stop bleeping me!"
"What kind of secretary?" the Alchemist asked.
"I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping. I mean, it was all a bit posh, really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought, 'I'm never going to fit in here.' And then he made me a coffee. I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee. And Lance, he's the head of HR! He doesn't need to bother with me. But he was nice, he was funny. And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty, too. So that's how it started, me and him. Once cup of coffee. That was it."
"When was this?" the Doctor wondered.
"Six months ago."
"Bit quick to get married."
"How long have the two of you been together, then, before you got engaged?"
They exchanged glances. "Engaged, or realized we love each other?" the Alchemist asked.
"Well, both, I suppose."
"Last Christmas was the slap in the face," the Alchemist answered, giving the Doctor a mock glare. "Scared me to death, and that's hard to do."
"We've changed a lot since then," the Doctor said.
"Well, he insisted," Donna continued with her story. "And he nagged, and he nagged me, and he just wore me down. And finally, I just gave in."
"Why do I have a feeling that's not really how that went?" the Doctor asked.
"You don't know women, Kasterborous. We get what we want, one way or another." "What does HC Clements do?" the Alchemist asked out loud.
"Oh, security systems," Donna shrugged. "You know, entry codes, ID cards, that sort of thing. If you ask me, it's a posh name for locksmiths."
"Keys," the Alchemist mumbled, thinking.
"Anyway, enough of my CV," Donna said, standing up. "Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is going to be so shaming. You can do all the explaining, Martian boy."
The Doctor closed his eyes. "Yeah, we're not from Mars."
"Oh, I had this great big reception all planned! Everyone's going to be heartbroken."
***
If partying like nothing was wrong was the new definition of heartbroken, the Alchemist decided then and there she would swear never to have a humungous wedding ceremony. Donna stared around the room, shocked, as the partying winded down, everyone staring at her. "You had the reception without me?" she asked.
"Donna, what happened to you?" a black man in a suit asked, stepping forward.
"You had the reception without me?!"
The Doctor leaned forward. "Hello," he grinned. "I'm the Doctor, and this is the Alchemist."
"They had the reception without me!" Donna told him as the Alchemist waved.
"Yes, I gathered."
The blonde that had been dancing with Lance stepped forward. "Well, it was all paid for. Why not?"
Donna glared at her. "Thank you, Nerys."
"Well, what were we supposed to do?" an older woman asked, obviously Donna's mother. "I got your silly little message in the end. 'I'm on Earth?' Very funny. What the hell happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick? Because I'd love to know."
"Where were you the whole time?" Lance asked, scowling.
The Doctor was about to step in when everyone began questioning Donna, but the interrogation came to an abrupt halt when Donna burst into tears. Lance gave her a hug, and everyone began applauding. The Doctor turned to the Alchemist, who grinned. "We get what we want, one way or another," she winked.
***
The Doctor stood by the bar, listening to the music and keeping a close eye on Donna and Lance, when he heard the Alchemist gasp from nearby. He was by her side in a flash, and looked down at the smartphone she was staring at. He immediately narrowed his eyes, seeing what she'd looked up.
HC Clements
Sole proprietor - Torchwood
"Bloody Torchwood," the Doctor grumbled, nodding his thanks to the man who'd lent the phone.
The Alchemist took a few deep breaths, calming herself, then pointed. "Think he caught it all?"
The Doctor looked around a few guests to see a cameraman was taping Donna and Lance. "Let's find out," he said, walking over. "Excuse me, did you get a recording of when the bride disappeared?" he asked.
"Oh, I taped the whole thing," he nodded, finding the playback. "They've all had a look. They said sell it to You've Been Framed. I said more like the News. Here we are."
The Doctor frowned as he watched Donna turn into gold energy. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked the Alchemist.
"It shouldn't be," she shook her head. "Play it again?"
The cameraman rewound it. "Clever, mind. Good trick, I'll give her that. I was clapping."
"It is," the Alchemist said in disbelief. "That looks like Huon particles."
"What's that, then?" the cameraman asked in confusion.
"Impossible," she deadpanned. "It's ancient. Huon energy doesn't exist anymore. It hasn't for billions of years."
"And it can't be hidden by a bio-damper!" the Doctor added, running to Donna as the Alchemist bolted off. "Donna! Donna, they've found you!"
Donna's eyes widened. "But you said I was safe!"
"The bio-damper doesn't work," he shook his head. "We've got to get everyone out."
Donna's eyes widened even further. "My God, it's all my family!"
"And we're surrounded," the Alchemist added as she ran back up, her blaster in her hand. "And one of them's got a remote control."
"A remote?" Donna asked in confusion.
The Doctor looked around the reception room . . . and the dozens of Christmas trees set up. "Christmas trees," he muttered.
"What about them?"
"They kill!" He ran around, gesturing to everyone. "Get away from the tree!"
"Don't touch the trees!" Donna joined in.
"Everyone, back away from the trees!" the Alchemist shouted, waving everyone back. "Stay away from those trees!"
"Oh, for God's sake, those two are idiots!" Donna's mother groaned. "Why? What harm's a Christmas tree going to - oh."
The Alchemist blinked as a few baubles floated off the trees . . . and she quickly ducked when one zoomed towards her. The bauble exploded when it hit the wall behind her, and the other baubles followed. "Kasterborous, DO SOMETHING!"
"I'm thinking here!" The Doctor looked around, then ran up to the soundboard. "Oi! Santa!" he shouted to the Santas that lined up in front of the bar. "Word of advice. If you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver . . . don't let him near the sound system!"
The Alchemist quickly plugged her ears as the Doctor put his sonic screwdriver to the port. The harmonics that resonated made her ground her teeth in annoyance, but she was quick to get to her feet when the Doctor finally stopped . . . and the robots were shaken to pieces. She went over to take a look at the remote. "Remote control for decorations, and a second remote control for the robots," she assessed as the Doctor walked up to her. "Someone's taken control of them."
"Never mind all that," Donna said as she hurried up. "You're a doctor. People have been hurt."
"We just call ourselves the Doctor and the Alchemist," the Alchemist shook her head. "Doesn't mean those are our actual jobs."
"They wanted you alive," the Doctor remarked. "Look." He tossed a bauble in the air, then to Donna. "They're not active now."
"All I'm saying, you could help," Donna tried to say.
"He gets like this, it's a miracle if you can even get through to him," the Alchemist sighed before blinking. "Oh, hey, there's still a signal!"
The Doctor ran after her as she went out to try and track the signal. "There's someone behind this, direction the roboforms," the Doctor explained to Donna.
"But why is it me?" Donna asked. "What have I done?"
"If we find the controller - and believe me, Alice will - we'll find that out."
"Oh, here we go," the Alchemist remarked, aiming the remote upwards. "Signal's coming from up there."
"Something in the sky," the Doctor frowned, tilting his head up to look.
The Alchemist sighed. "I've lost the signal," she said.
The Doctor turned to Donna. "Donna, we've got to get to your office. HC Clements, I think that's where it all started." He grinned as Lance jogged up. "Lance! Is it Lance? Lance, can you give us a lift?"
***
"To you lot, this might just be a locksmiths, but HC Clements was brought up twenty three years ago by the Torchwood Institute," the Doctor said as they entered the office cubicle area.
"Who are they?" Donna asked.
"They were behind the Battle of Canary Wharf . . . " The Alchemist trailed off at Donna's confused look. "Cybermen invasion? Skies over London full of Daleks?"
"Oh, I was in Spain."
"There were Cybermen in Spain."
" . . . scuba diving."
The Alchemist shook her head. "The point is, HC Clements stayed in business, even though Torchwood was destroyed. Someone else came in and took over."
"But what do they want with me?"
"You've been dosed with Huon energy . . . and Huon energy hasn't existed since the Dark Times. The only place you'd find a Huon particle now is possibly in the heart of the TARDIS. Think of it this way." She walked over to a cubicle, sat on the desk, then picked up a coffee mug. "This is the TARDIS. And this is you." She held up a pencil. "The Huon particles were activated, and the two sets were attracted to each other, and ta da!" She shook the two objects, then dropped the pencil into the mug. "You were pulled inside the TARDIS."
"I love it when you talk technical," the Doctor smiled proudly, kissing the top of her head, making her beam.
Donna just blinked. "I'm a pencil inside a mug?"
The Alchemist sighed, but the Doctor grinned. "Yes, you are. 4H. Sums you up. Lance? What was HC Clements working on? Anything top secret? Special operations? Do not enter?"
"I don't know," he shook his head. "I'm in charge of personnel. I wasn't project manager - " He blinked. "Why am I even explaining myself?" he complained. "What the hell are we talking about?"
"He's got that nature about him," the Alchemist smiled. "A face people listen to . . . most of the time."
"Yes," the Doctor nodded along until the last part. "Oi! Most of the time?"
"That's when they're listening to me," she winked.
He huffed and rolled his eyes playfully before using a computer to pull up a plan of the building. "They make keys," he said. "And look at this. We're on the third floor."
The Alchemist frowned. "There were four buttons in the lift."
"Exactly," the Doctor nodded, going back to the lift. "Underneath reception, there's a basement, yes? Then how come when you look on the lift, there's a button marked lower basement? There's a whole floor which doesn't exist on the official plans. So what's down there, then?"
"Are you telling me this building's got a secret floor?" Lance frowned.
"No, no, no, no, no," the Alchemist smiled. "We're showing you this building's got a secret floor," she corrected, patting his cheek before stepping into the elevator.
"It needs a key," Donna pointed out.
"We don't," the Doctor grinned, sonicking it. "Right, then. Thanks, you two. We can handle this. See you later."
"No chance, Martians," Donna shook her head, getting in. "You're the ones who keep saving my life. I ain't letting you out of my sight."
The Alchemist grinned. "Going down."
"Lance?" Donna raised an eyebrow.
Lance cleared his throat. "Maybe I should go to the police?"
"Inside," Donna ordered.
Lance's shoulders slumped, and he stepped inside. "To honor and obey?" the Doctor smirked.
Lance rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it, mate."
"Oi!" Donna snapped.
"Oh, trust me, Donna," the Alchemist grinned. "You get them wrapped around your finger, it's impossible for them not to do anything you say."
"Oi!" That was the Doctor that time. "What makes you - " He paused. "Well, yeah, that's true," he admitted freely, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Impossible not to do anything you say."
"So when are you two getting married, then?" Donna joked.
The two Time Lords looked at each other. "The Bond means enough to me right now," the Alchemist said with a smile.
The Doctor smiled right back at her.
***
The Alchemist poked her head out of the elevator when they arrived at the basement, then blinked. "Here we go," she remarked, putting on her sunglasses to see through the green light.
"Where are we?" Donna asked as they all stepped out. "Well? What goes on down here?"
"That's what we're going to find out," the Alchemist shrugged.
"Do you think Mr. Clements knows about this place?" Donna asked.
"The mysterious HC Clements?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow. "I think he's part of it."
The Alchemist brightened suddenly, and she gave the Doctor a sly look. "I've found the transport."
***
The Doctor looked absolutely ridiculous, acting like he was driving their wheeled stand up when it was the Alchemist doing it. Donna nearly crashed into Lance laughing so hard. The Alchemist didn't even complain at all, she was grinning too much.
Currently, the Alchemist was inspecting a ladder behind an authorized personnel door. "I'll take a look," she said. "Don't do anything."
"You'd better come back," Donna warned.
The Alchemist raised an eyebrow. "And leave him to cause mayhem?" she nodded at the Doctor. "No way."
"What is it, pick on the men day?" the Doctor complained as she headed up the ladder.
"With you? Every day," she snickered.
"Have you thought about this?" Lance asked Donna as the ginger tried to keep track of the blonde. "I mean, this is serious! What the hell are we going to do?"
"Oh, I thought July," Donna said absently.
"Just like Torchwood!" the Alchemist's voice carried down.
"What's up there?" the Doctor asked as she headed back down, her sunglasses back on top of her head.
"We've got the Thames flood barrier right above us," she answered. "Torchwood must've snuck in and built all this underneath."
Donna stared. "What? There's like a secret base hidden underneath a major London landmark?"
"Oh, I know," the Doctor rolled his eyes. "Unheard of."
The Alchemist had a major coughing fit as they continued on. The Doctor grinned widely when he heard "Canary Wharf!" somewhere in the middle of it.
The Alchemist's eyes lit up when they entered the next room. "Look at all this!" she gushed, running around, investigating everything. "This is incredible!"
"Stunning," the Doctor agreed, eyes wide as he looked at the bubbling tubes.
"What do they do?" Donna asked.
"Alice?" the Doctor smiled, seeing the cogs in her brain whirling. "You want to take that one?"
"It's particle extrusion," she answered. "Hang on . . . " She picked up one of the tubes and grinned. "Oh, this is brilliant! They've been manufacturing Huon particles down here."
"Our people got rid of Huons," the Doctor said. "They unravel the atomic structure."
"Your people?" Lance frowned. "What company do you represent?"
"We're freelancers," the Alchemist lied. "But Torchwood's been rebuilding them. They've been using the river and extruding them through a hydrogen base. And the end result . . . " She held up the container. "Huon particles in liquid form."
"And that's what's inside me?" Donna asked.
The Alchemist simply twisted the top of the container. The liquid glowed gold. So did Donna.
And even though she was holding the container . . . so did the Alchemist's hands. "Oh, my God!" Donna gasped, looking over herself, even as the Alchemist looked at her hands in alarm.
"Genius!" the Doctor looked her over as the Alchemist quickly looked in the reflection of another tube. Sure enough, her eyes were glowing, too. "Because the particles are inert, they need something living to catalyze inside, and that's you. Saturate the body, and then . . . ha!" He jumped backwards and grinned. "The wedding! Yes! You're getting married! That's it! Best day of your life, walking down the aisle. Oh, you're body's a battleground! There's a chemical war inside! Adrenaline, acetylcholine, WHAM! go the endorphins. Oh, you're cooking! Yeah, you're like a walking oven. A pressure cooker, a microwave, all churning away. The particles reach boiling point - shazam!" Donna slapped him again, and the Alchemist quickly twisted the knob again so they both stopped glowing. "What did I do this time?!"
"Are you enjoying this?" Donna glared.
"It's rare he gets something before me," the Alchemist said.
Donna just sighed. "Right, just tell me. These particles . . . are they dangerous? Am I safe?"
"Yes," the Doctor nodded.
"No," the Alchemist shook her head at the same time.
Donna closed her eyes. "Doctor, if your lot got rid of Huon particles, why did they do that?"
The Doctor sighed. "Because they were deadly," he admitted.
Donna swallowed hard. "Oh, my God."
"We'll sort this out, Donna," the Alchemist promised, putting her hands on her shoulders. "We'll find a way to reverse it. We're not going to lose someone else."
"Oh, she is long since lost!" a female voice cackled, and the wall in front of them slid up to reveal a huge hole dug into the Earth. "I have waited so long, hibernating at the edge of the universe until the secret heart was uncovered and called out to waken!"
The Alchemist ignored the robed robots aiming guns at them. Instead, she tilted her head and looked at the hole. "A big hole dug by laser. Definitely Torchwood. How far does this go?"
"Down and down, all the way to the center of the Earth."
"Really?" the Doctor blinked. "Seriously?" He looked down the hole, then looked back up. "What for?"
"Dinosaurs," Donna suggested.
He looked at her. "What?"
"Dinosaurs?"
"What are you on about, dinosaurs?"
"That film, Under The Earth, with dinosaurs? Trying to help!"
"That's not helping."
"Such a sweet couple," the female voice cooed.
"Uh, yeah, it's me and him," the Alchemist held up a hand.
"Only a madman talks to thin air, and trust me, you don't want to make me mad," the Doctor warned. "Where are you?"
"High in the sky, floating so high on Christmas night."
"I didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom. Come on, let's have a look at you!"
"Who are you with such command?"
"I'm the Doctor, and this is the Alchemist."
"Prepare your best medicines, Doctor man, for you will be sick at heart!"
The Alchemist gawked at the red spider-like alien that appeared. "But . . . you're a Racnoss!"
"But that's impossible," the Doctor shook his head.
"Empress of the Racnoss," she corrected.
"If you're the Empress, where's the rest of the Racnoss?" the Doctor asked before tilting his head. "Or . . . are you the only one?"
"Such a sharp mind," she smiled.
"That's it," he said. "The last of your kind."
"The Racnoss are from the Dark Times, billions of years ago," the Alchemist explained to Donna, letting the Doctor handle the Empress. "They're carnivores and omnivores. And they were able to devour whole planets."
"Racnoss are born starving," the Empress defended. "Is that our fault?"
"Well, if you never did anything to help it . . . "
"They eat people?" Donna asked.
"Well . . . " The Alchemist cringed. "This HC Clements of yours, did he wear black and white shoes?"
"He did," Donna nodded, laughing a bit. "We used to laugh. We used to call him the fat cat in . . . spats . . . " She blanched when the Alchemist pointed to a pair of feet sticking out of the web in the ceiling, wearing black and white shoes. "Oh, my God!"
"Mmm," the Empress grinned. "My Christmas dinner."
"You shouldn't even exist," the Doctor shook his head. "Way back in history, the fledgling Empires went to war against the Racnoss. They were wiped out."
"Except for me."
"But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing," Donna said. "Oi! Look at me, lady. I'm talking. Where do I fit in? How come I get all stacked up with these Huon particles? Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me!"
"The bride is so feisty," the Empress chuckled.
"Yes, I am," Donna nodded. "And I don't know what you are, you big thing, but a spider's just a spider . . . and an axe is an axe! Now do it!"
The Alchemist looked up to see Lance up on the catwalk with the Empress, swinging an axe. The Empress however, turned, and hissed at him. Lance froze, scared . . . and then started to laugh. The Empress joined in, and the Alchemist narrowed her eyes, raising her hand to rest it on the butt of her blaster. "That was a good one," Lance chuckled. "Your face!"
"Lance is funny," the Empress snickered.
Donna blinked. "What?"
"I'm sorry," Lance apologized . . . although he didn't look sorry.
"Sorry for what? Lance, don't be stupid! Get her!"
"God, she's thick," Lance rolled his eyes. "Months, I've had to put up with her. Months! A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map."
Donna swallowed. "I don't understand . . . "
"You met him in the office, and he made you coffee," the Alchemist said softly.
Donna frowned. "What?"
"Every day, I made you coffee," Lance elaborated.
"With the amount of Huon particles you have inside you, you'd need a liquid dose over six months," the Alchemist explained. "And every day of those six months, he made you coffee."
Donna's eyes widened. "He was poisoning me?!"
"It was all there in the job title," the Doctor glared at Lance, stepping back to Donna's side. "The head of Human Resources."
"This time, it's personnel," Lance smirked.
"But we were getting married!" Donna stared at him.
"Well, I couldn't risk you running off," he rolled his eyes. "I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavor Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap. Oh, Brad and Angelina. Is Posh pregnant? X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me Dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia. I deserve a medal."
"A medal for being the biggest bastard ever?" the Alchemist retorted. "Feel free to have it."
"Is that what she's offered you?" the Doctor glared, putting an arm around Donna's shoulders, protective of the shellshocked ginger. "The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you, her consort?"
"It's better than a night with her," Lance sneered.
Donna swallowed hard. "But I love you!"
"That's what made it easy," Lance smirked, and the Doctor pulled Donna closer to him. "Look at the big picture. What's the point of it all if the human race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to go out there, to see it, the size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?"
"Who is this little physician and his friend?" the Empress asked.
"She said Martians."
"Oh, we're sort of homeless," the Doctor shrugged. "But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's going to help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth . . . isn't it?"
Lance scoffed. "I think he wants us to talk."
"I think so, too," the Empress nodded.
"Well, tough! All we need is Donna."
"Kill this chattering little doctor man!"
"Don't you hurt them!" Donna shouted, darting in front of the Doctor, holding out an arm to block the Alchemist, too.
"No, no, Donna," the Doctor shook his head, putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's all right."
"No! I won't let them!"
"At arms!" the Empress laughed.
The robots aimed. "Ah, now," the Doctor began. "Except - "
"Take aim!"
"Well, I just want to point out the obvious - "
"They won't hit the bride," the Empress smirked. "They're such very good shots."
"Now, hang on, hang on," the Alchemist held up a hand. "Just a tick. You're forgetting something here. The particles activated in Donna and drew her to our ship. Reverse it . . . and the ship comes to her!"
She twisted the knob on the container, and the TARDIS materialized around them. "Off we go!" the Doctor grinned, running to the console.
"Who'd've thought?" the Alchemist smiled, setting the Huon container down. "Not extinct after all."
"Oh, do you know what I said about time machines?" the Doctor asked Donna, not seeming to notice that she was slumped and crying. "Well, I lied. And now we're going to use it! We need to find out what the Empress of the Racnoss is digging up. If something's buried at the planet's core, it must've been there since the beginning. That's just brilliant! Molto bene! I've always wanted to see this. Donna, we're going further back than I've ever been before - "
He cut off when the Alchemist smacked him in the back of the head. He winced, rubbing said head as the Alchemist walked over to Donna and sat on the arm of the chair. "Ignore him," she muttered under her breath. "He's not good at this sort of thing."
Donna smiled grimly. "I loved him."
"Who, the Doctor?" The Alchemist pretended to consider. "I suppose so. Granted, I wanted to kill him when I first met him.
Donna's eyes widened. "You're kidding."
"Not at all," the Alchemist winked. "He redeemed himself . . . eventually. Don't judge a book on their cover, Donna. Lance may have seemed to be a good man, but this is how he turned out. Don't fall for it again."
"I won't," Donna shook her head.
The Doctor stopped attending to his poor head and finished piloting. "We've arrived," he told them.
The Alchemist smiled at Donna. "Want to see?"
Donna sighed. "I suppose."
"That scanner's a bit small," the Doctor remarked. "Maybe your way's best." He headed for the doors. "Come on! No human's ever seen this. You'll be the first."
"All I want to see is my bed," Donna complained.
The Doctor smirked, opening the doors. "Donna Noble, welcome to the creation of the Earth."
"Back four point six billion years, there's no solar system - yet - and there's only dust and rocks and gas," the Alchemist narrated as Donna's jaw fell open, stunned speechless. "That's the Sun over there. Brand new. Just beginning to burn."
"Where's the Earth?" Donna asked, looking around.
"There," the Alchemist pointed to floating dust. "And there . . . " She pointed somewhere else. "And there, and there, and there, and - "
She succeeded in making Donna laugh. "It's all around us," the Doctor explained with a smile on his face. "In the dust."
"Puts the wedding in perspective," Donna sighed. "Lance was right. We're just tiny."
"No, but that's what you do," the Doctor shook his head. "The human race makes sense out of chaos, marking it out with weddings and Christmas and calendars. The whole process is beautiful, but only if it's being observed."
"So I came out of . . . all this?"
"Isn't that brilliant?" the Doctor beamed.
"Oh, look," the Alchemist teased as a large rock drifted by. "That'll be the Isle of Wight."
Donna laughed as the Doctor shook his head. "Eventually, gravity takes hold," he said. "Say, one big rock, heavier than the others, starts to pull other rocks towards it. All the dust and gas and elements get pulled in. Everything, piling in until you get - "
"The Earth," Donna finished.
"But the question is, what was that first rock?"
Donna blinked and pointed. "Look."
The Alchemist squinted and nodded as a seven-pointed star ship came out of the dust. "That's the Racnoss, all right."
"Hang on," the Doctor scowled. "The Racnoss are hiding from the war. What's it doing?"
"Exactly what you said," Donna answered, looking around as dust and rock alike drifted towards the ship.
"Oh," the Doctor realized. "They didn't just bury something at the center of the Earth."
"They became the center of the Earth," the Alchemist's eyes widened. "The first rock."
Something went bang on the console, and Donna turned to look. "What was that?"
"Trouble!" the Doctor answered, bolting for the console.
The TARDIS jerked off balance, throwing Donna and the Alchemist inside. "What the hell's it doing?" Donna shouted.
"Remember my little trick, particles pulling particles?" The Alchemist winced and threw an arm over her eyes as sparks flew towards her face. "Well, it works in reverse. They're pulling us back."
"Well, can't you stop it?" Donna asked. "Hasn't it got a handbrake? Can't you reverse or warp or beam or something?"
"This isn't Star Trek, Donna," the Alchemist shook her head before pausing. "But . . . " She ducked beneath the console and came out with a surfboard-like device. "Hook up the extrapolator, and we might get a bump in the road!"
"Oh, I bloody love you!" the Doctor shouted as the Alchemist went to work.
Donna stared in shock as the Alchemist moved like a blur, her fingers moving and interlocking wires and connections she couldn't believe existed. She was completely in her element, ignoring the sparks being thrown everywhere. She just put her shades in place and continued working. With her eyes shielded, not even sparks in her face slowed her down. Finally, with the extrapolator connected, she threw the breaker switch, and the TARDIS shuddered to a halt. "There we go," she smiled, brushing her hands off. "Two hundred yards to the right." She frowned. "Make that two hundred and forty seven."
"Come on!" the Doctor shouted, and they ran out the doors.
"But what do we do?" Donna asked as they headed out.
"I don't know," the Doctor admitted. "I make it up as I go along. But trust me, I've got a history."
"He does," the Alchemist nodded. "Turned out well last time."
"But I still do't understand," Donna shook her head. "I'm full of particles, but what for?"
"There's a Racnoss web at the center of the Earth, but our people unraveled their power source," the Doctor explained, working on the door. "The Huon particles ceased to exist, but the Racnoss were stuck. They've just taken hibernation for billions of years. Frozen, dead, kaput, so you're the new key. Brand new particles, living particles! They need you to open it - and neither of you have never been so quiet."
He took a look behind him to see that neither Donna, nor the Alchemist were there. His eyes narrowed. "Oh," he said in a completely different tone, then opened up the door, and promptly punched the waiting robot into the wall, disabling it.
Bad move taking his Bonded.
***
"Donna?"
"Yes?"
"Can I kill him when we get out of this?"
"Yes." Donna glared over at Lance. "I hate you."
Lance rolled his eyes, but was noticeably scared by the Alchemist's calm request, the blonde Time Lady ensnared in the web next to Donna. "Yeah, I think we've gone a bit beyond that now sweetheart."
"My golden couple, together at last, your awful wedded life," the Empress grinned. "Tell me, do you want to be released?"
"Yes!" all three of them shouted.
The Empress tutted. "You're supposed to say, 'I do.'"
"No chance!" Lance shouted.
"Say it!"
Lance glared. "I do."
"I do," Donna grumbled.
The Alchemist just gave a curt nod. "I don't!" the Empress cackled. "Activate the particles! Purge every last one!" Donna and Lance glowed gold, and so did the Alchemist, though not as brightly. She looked over herself, panicking, when the Empress shouted, "and release!"
The Alchemist blew out a breath when the Huon particles flew down the hole, stopping her from glowing. "Thank God," she sighed.
"The secret heart unlocks, and they will waken from their Sleep of Ages," the Empress crooned.
"Who will?" Donna asked, looking down. "What's down there?"
"How thick are you?" Lance growled.
"Can it, Lance!" the Alchemist sneered. "Donna, the Racnoss ship is the heart of the Earth. And now they're coming back."
"My babies will be hungry," the Empress cooed as crawling was heard. "They need sustenance. Perish the web."
"Use them, not me!" Lance shouted. "Use them!"
"Oh, my funny little Lance!" the Empress laughed. "But you are quite impolite to your lady friends. The Empress does not approve."
The Alchemist winced when the web released Lance, but she didn't say anything as the man fell into the hole. "Lance!" Donna screamed.
"Harvest the humans!" the Empress ordered. "Reduce them to meat. My children are climbing towards me, and none shall stop them." She turned to the lone robot climbing up the stairs. "So you might as well unmask, my clever little doctor man."
The robot paused, then took off the robot mask and robe. "Oh, well," the Doctor shrugged. "Nice try. I've got you two!"
The Alchemist looked up as the web started to give way. "No way," she shook her head. "You're insane!"
"We're going to fall!" Donna shouted.
"You're going to swing," the Doctor corrected.
The Alchemist grabbed onto one of the strands and held on as they swung across the hole. She dropped down onto the ground on the level below the Doctor, and grabbed Donna before she collapsed as well. "There you go," she smiled.
"Empress of the Racnoss?" the Doctor called to the red spider. "I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet. I can find you and your children a place in the universe to co-exist. Take that offer and end this now."
"These men are so funny," the Empress giggled.
The Doctor remained stubborn. "What's your answer?"
"Oh, I'm afraid I have to decline."
Even Donna winced, knowing enough to know it was a bad move. "What happens next is your own doing," the Doctor warned.
"I'll show you what happens next!" the Empress cackled. "At arms!" The robots stiffened. "Take aim! And - !"
"Relax," the Doctor ordered, and the robots slumped.
Donna looked around. "What did you do?"
"Guess what I've got, Donna?" the Doctor grinned, waving the robot remote control at her. "Pockets!"
"How did that fit in there?" Donna gawked.
"How do we fit inside the TARDIS?" the Alchemist smirked. "Bigger on the inside."
"Roboforms are not necessary," the Empress sniffed. "My children may feast on Martian flesh."
"Oh, but we're not from Mars," the Doctor shook his head.
"Then where?"
"Our home planet is far away and long since gone, but its name lives on." The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Gallifrey."
The Empress reared up and hissed. "They murdered the Racnoss!" she cried.
"I warned you," the Doctor reminded her, holding up a few Christmas baubles up from where he'd kept them in his pockets. "You did this."
"No! No!" the Empress screamed, even as the Alchemist's eyes widened, knowing exactly what he planned on doing. "Don't! No!"
The Doctor simply tossed the baubles into the air and sent them whirling away. Explosions rippled through the compound, and the Alchemist was nearly brought to her knees by the water that crashed through holes, the Thames flooding inside. Donna was slightly better, managing to stay upright, but the Alchemist was clutching onto the railing, trying to get back to her feet, even as water rained down on them all. "No! No!" the Empress wailed as alien screams came from the hole, water pouring down and drowning the Racnoss. "My children! No! My children! My children!"
"Doctor!" Donna shouted up to the Doctor. "You can stop now!"
The Doctor paused and looked down, watching the Alchemist finally struggle to her feet. "Come on," he called. "Time we got out."
The Alchemist pushed Donna ahead of her, and the Doctor put an arm around her, helping them head to the same ladder she'd gone up before. "But what about the Empress?" Donna asked.
"She's used up all her Huon energy," the Doctor answered. "She's defenseless!"
They climbed on top of the Thames Barrier, the Alchemist catching her breath, when Donna spoke again. "Just . . . there's one problem."
"What's that?" the Doctor wondered.
The Alchemist blinked, looking over the barrier. "Doctor . . . you drained the Thames."
The three of them looked at each other, then promptly burst out laughing.
***
"There we go," the Doctor smiled as they exited the TARDIS later, parked across from Donna's house. "Told you she'd be all right. She can survive anything."
"More than I've done," Donna mumbled.
"She used up all her Huon particles, and that includes the ones that were inside you," the Alchemist shook her head. "You're clean, Donna. You're absolutely fine."
"Yeah, but apart from that, I missed my wedding, lost my job, and became a widow on the same day. Sort of."
"There's no way we could have saved him," the Alchemist told her.
"He deserved it," Donna shrugged it off. The Alchemist gave her a pointed look, and she sighed. "No, he didn't." She looked over her shoulder to look through the window at her parents. "I'd better get inside. They'll be worried."
"Best Christmas present they could have," the Doctor smiled before frowning. "Oh, no. I forgot. You hate Christmas."
"Yes, I do," she nodded.
The Alchemist smirked, taking out her sonic blaster. "Even if it snows?" she asked, aiming at the TARDIS.
The lamp on top glowed yellow, and a bolt of energy was shot into the sky. Donna started to laugh, startled by the sudden snow shower coming down. "I can't believe you did that!"
"Basic atmospheric excitation," the Alchemist shrugged, twirling her blaster. "No biggie."
Donna giggled. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," the Alchemist winked.
"So what will you do with yourself now?" the Doctor asked.
"Not get married, for starters," Donna snorted. "And I'm not going to temp anymore. I don't know. Travel? See a bit more of planet Earth? Walk in the dust, just . . . go out there and do something."
The Time Lords exchanged looks. "Well, you could always . . . " the Doctor began.
"What?" Donna asked, hearing his hesitation.
"You could come with us," the Alchemist suggested.
Donna smiled sadly. "No," she turned down.
The Doctor tried to shrug it off. "OK."
"I can't," Donna began to apologize.
"No, that's fine," he was quick to say.
Even the Alchemist rolled her eyes at the lie. "No, but really," Donna shook her head. "Everything we did today, do you live your life like that?"
"Not all the time," the Doctor began.
"Nearly all the time," the Alchemist admitted.
"I couldn't," Donna said simply.
"But you've seen it out there," the Doctor told her. "It's beautiful!"
"And it's terrible," Donna countered. "That place was flooding and burning and they were dying, and you stood there like . . . I don't know, a stranger. And then she made it snow!" The Alchemist snorted; of course she was terrible because she made it snow. "I mean, you two scare me to death!"
"Right," the Alchemist nodded. "All tremble before the atmospheric exciter."
The Doctor snickered at that. Donna just smiled. "Tell you what I will do, though. Christmas dinner." She laughed at the Doctor's horrified face. "Oh, come on!"
"We don't do that sort of thing," he shook his head immediately.
"You did it last year, you said so," Donna pointed out. "And you might as well, because Mum always cooks enough for twenty."
"Oh, all right, then," he sighed. "But you go first. Better warn them. And don't say we're Martian. We just have to park her properly. She might drift off to the Middle Ages. We'll see you in a minute."
The moment they both went inside, Donna knew he was lying. "Doctor!" she shouted over the roar of engines. "Alchemist!"
The Alchemist poked her head out. "Blimey, you can shout," she commented.
Donna tilted her head as the Doctor joined her. "Am I ever going to see you two again?"
"If we're lucky," the Doctor answered.
"Just promise me one thing?" They nodded encouragingly. "Find someone."
The Doctor scowled. "We don't need anyone."
"Yes, you do," Donna retorted. "Because if she isn't able to, you need someone to stop you."
"Yeah," the Doctor said slowly as the Alchemist looked down. "Thanks then, Donna. Good luck. And just be magnificent."
"I think I will, yeah," she smiled, but stopped them when they were about to head in again. "Doctor?"
"Oh, what is it now?" he complained.
Donna swallowed. "The Alchemist, her sister . . . what was her name?"
The Alchemist stiffened, a dead look in her eyes. "Rose," she answered shortly. "Her name was Rose."
She shut the door before anything else could be said. Donna watched the TARDIS shoot into the air, then turned to head indoors.
***
The Doctor watched silently as the Alchemist piloted the TARDIS off. Before he could even open his mouth, she turned to him. "You didn't have to do that."
"Do what?" he tried to play it innocent.
It failed miserably, and he cringed at the glare she gave him that could rival Jackie Tyler's. "You know exactly what I mean. What the Racnoss did was horrible, but drowning them all? What were you thinking?!"
"I was thinking about you," he interrupted, stopping her in her tirade. "If it's you or them, I would choose you every time, no matter the consequence, do you understand?"
The Alchemist looked at him, recognizing the same anger in his eyes from when he had seen her with the Cult of Skaro. "Yes," she whispered. "I understand."
The Doctor gave her a tight hug, her tucking her head under his chin. "I couldn't lose you," he whispered. "Not so soon."
"You'll never lose me," the Alchemist promised. "Never."
"Never say never," the Doctor warned, but he was content to stand there with the Alchemist forever.
They stood that way for a long time. Neither of them were anxious to count how long it truly was. It just wasn't long enough.
***
And that concludes "The Runaway Bride."
So, now I take my leave, folks. My Doctor Who books will be on hiatus, and will be updated whenever possible, over summer. Our iPads must be turned in on Friday, so I can't write on it over summer. I'll only have my computer, and since it's in the same room as my parents, I don't think my dad would enjoy me being on it all the time.
Keep an eye on these stories whenever you all can. I promise I will update when I am able, but I will not promise when those times are.
See you until then!