Once Again

Chapter 27: June 2008

  "I mean I'm not saying I necessarily want to, but you don't think it might be a little fun? Aren't you even a little bit curious?" Rachel asks.
   Ryan pipes in "Come on, Sarah. We can get rip roaring drunk and tell off kids who sucked like we never did back then."
  I laugh "I have no desire to go to our reunion. Besides, everyone has Facebook now and you can see what they're eating for lunch, let alone everything else they're doing."
  "Well we miss you, babe. You need to come back even if it's not for the reunion." Rachel says.
  "I will." I say. I haven't been out much since I moved to LA. I feel stifled and uncomfortable the few times I have gone back. I'm much happier away though I miss my friends and family.
  Ryan and Rachel go to our 10 year high school reunion and fill me in on the details. Most of our classmates are married or getting married, pregnant, or have kids. One guy made a ton of money in Silicon Valley. Another is a famous actress now. Another helps produce music for popular rap artists. Rhys came. He has a two year old and his wife is pregnant with another on the way. He's been steadily working his way up the ladder at Piedmont. He doesn't ask about me. Madison stays silent with them, freezing them out, but chats just fine with other people who weren't a part of our tight-knit circle.
  I catch up on his life sometimes by checking his Facebook. She's constantly posting pictures of their beautiful life. Their beautiful kids. Their beautiful house. She's always perfectly coiffed and made up. I know she's likely not going to post pics of her looking bad, but it all seems very curated. It's pre-Instagram influencer before influencers were a thing.
  Rhys' friend requests me and I add him, but he never comments or likes any of my posts. I don't share a ton, but I like posting funny things and promoting shows I'm working on. I comment and like a few of his pictures, mostly of him with his kids. He never responds. I think of deleting him but a part of me can't let him go, never ends up letting him go even when seeing him online makes me mad. And envious. And sad. Oftentimes when a picture or status of his pops up I feel grief.
  He's lost touch with almost everyone outside of seeing Ryan or Ben every now and then. Everyone is hurt by it. Everyone blames Madison though they shouldn't. It was Rhys's friendships, it was his responsibility to maintain them. However, I do sometimes worry that he's isolated himself much like I used to with Jacob because it became too exhausting to fight.