TRIGGER WARNING!
brief discussions of past childhood abuse, not specified or graphic.
this only appears at the end, in aziza's one-on-one conversation
with (y/n). proceed with caution,
and skip if you feel the need.
*. : ｡✿ * ﾟ * .: ｡ ✿ * ﾟ * . : ｡ ✿ *
holly flowers represent protection, domestic happiness, and often carry a wish for peace . . .
*. : ｡✿ * ﾟ * .: ｡ ✿ * ﾟ * . : ｡ ✿ *
THURSDAY, JUNE 21, 2018
Nurse Andrea Lopez knew love when she saw it.
Her parents, though imperfect, had always been madly in love. They slow-danced in the kitchen while cooking together, and watched each other with such obvious adoration. Her dad left little love poems on sticky notes around the house every single day since they'd moved in together. And her mom kept a little journal with every detail about her husband, including his favorite ice cream flavors, and the shift in his voice when he was trying not to cry.
They loved each other deeply, thoughtfully, and consistently. And even when they did have the── very infrequent── lovers' spat, they always made sure to remind the other that there was nothing they could say or do to change the love they had for each other.
So when Andrea saw the way (Y/N)'s roommates looked at her, she knew exactly how they felt for her patient. The way they spent literally every moment they were allowed with her was so reminiscent of her own mom cheering on her husband's performance at the local theatre, even when everyone else knew the play was awful. Their constant assurances that it was honor to take care of the girl reminded the young nurse so completely of her dad's insistence on taking care of her mother's most hated chores. And the absolute terror they held in their eyes when they weren't sure if she was going to be okay was an exact echo of the way her mom crumbled when they got the news that Andrea's dad had terminal cancer.
Even if (Y/N) was still skeptical, Andrea knew all five of the girl's housemates were completely in love with her.
And for that reason, she was willing to bend the rules a bit. It could be seen as a violation of privacy laws for Nurse Lopez to tell the five of them about (Y/N)'s worsening struggle with the traumatic attack. Her panic attacks every night since were not something she was technically supposed to share with anyone not legally responsible for the girl, but...
Andrea had rarely met a soul as kind as (Y/N). She was so stunningly sweet and caring. And she needed and deserved to have people take care of her. Nurse Lopez trusted her roommates to do that. But they couldn't if they didn't know what was happening.
So, when they showed up a few minutes before 7 a.m. for visiting hours, Nurse Lopez met with them in an empty waiting room.
Lori chewed her bottom lip anxiously. "What's going on?" She asked with wide eyes. "Did something happen to (Y/N)?"
"I thought she was supposed to be getting out today," Naoki chimed in, absentmindedly shifting his weight as worry seized his heart. "Are you keeping her longer?"
Andrea smiled reassuringly. "No, the plan is still the same. Assuming nothing changes, (Y/N) should be good to leave as soon as the doctor gives her a final checkup around 10."
This allowed them to breathe a little easier, knowing both that their darling's physical condition hadn't worsened, and that she was still on track to return home with them where she belonged. But they still listened intently, knowing they hadn't been pulled aside for no reason.
"I just wanted to inform you about some of the... struggles you might be facing," Nurse Lopez said, choosing her words carefully. She exhaled. "Obviously, you've all been kept in the loop about the physical health concerns, and know what to watch out for in that way, but... you should also watch out for her emotional well-being." She looked at each of them. "Although there has been no diagnosis, (Y/N) has been suffering from severe panic attacks and flashbacks triggered by the trauma of the attack. During these episodes, she experiences severe paranoia and dissociation. I believe that, because she truly believed she was going to die, it's been very difficult for her to move on." She watched them closely, unsure of what response she might receive from them. "Do you understand?"
Elijah was the first to answer. Inhaling deeply, he nodded. "Yes, we understand," he said. "What can we do to help her?"
"Anything that can help ground her back to the present will comfort her. She needs to know that she's safe, and with people who care for her," Andrea explained. "Sometimes it might be best to offer a distraction, like her favorite music or a calming activity. Other times, talking her through it and allowing her to vent will help more."
"What if she won't let us help?" Silas asked. After all, they all knew very well how stubbornly independent the girl could be at times.
"You may have to be more subtle about it," the nurse suggested. "Knowing (Y/N), she'll want to be taking care of everyone else. Sometimes it might be easier to phrase things so that it seems like she's helping you instead." She smiled softly. "In any case, it's clear you all care a lot about her. I know she's in good hands."
It was quiet for a moment, as they processed the information. Of course, they knew that the whole ordeal hadn't been easy emotionally, but... it was just that (Y/N) had taken so much time trying to ease their worries. And to think that she'd been suffering from so much terror brought a tightness to their chests that made it difficult to breathe.
"Are you ready to see her now?" Nurse Andrea asked softly.
'Always,' each of them thought individually. They nodded, and she led them back to (Y/N)'s hospital room. But as they all walked in, Elijah placed a hand on Lori's shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a quick second?" He asked, pulling her aside before she could follow the others into the room.
Lori was hesitant, not wanting to sacrifice even a moment with her darling. But knowing Elijah felt the same made her realize this was probably important, so she ultimately agreed.
"We'll be right in," Elijah told Aziza, when she glanced back at them curiously.
"What's up?" Lori asked, resting her hands in the pockets of her overall shorts.
"If (Y/N) is having panic attacks because of what happened, then we need to do something," Elijah started. "Obviously we'll be here for her, but... that isn't enough." His voice took on a hushed tone. Though the hallway was currently empty, he didn't want to risk anyone hearing should they pass through. "We need to get rid of the asshole that hurt her. I can't live knowing he's just walking around, without any consequences. And I definitely can't risk him hurting her again."
With a soft exhale, Lori nodded. "It'll take a while," she started. As incredibly skilled with technology── including the less than legal side of things── she was still limited. "I don't have a lot to go on, and (Y/N) is already anxious enough without us bringing it up again." Elijah agreed with that. This was all for (Y/N), so as much as he wanted the fucker to suffer and die... it would never be worth making their beloved feel even a moment of discomfort. Not unless they couldn't help it. "The police said it would be basically impossible, but I will find him."
"You're sure?" Elijah knew an extent of her abilities, but was still unsure about how much she could achieve. "A creepy man with blue eyes in an alley way isn't a lot to go off of."
Lori sighed. "I know." A determined glint appeared in her emerald eyes. "But I'll find him. Just give me some time."
They walked back into the hospital room together, just in the middle of the dazzling sound of (Y/N)'s laughter. Lori's eyes softened. Never before had she considered harming anyone. She even refused to kill bugs, always taking them outside. But anyone who could hurt someone as perfect as her darling was simply pure evil. To think of the anguish (Y/N) had experienced── and was still experiencing── was enough for Lori to make an exception of sorts. She would do anything for her sweet, darling (Y/N). For her happiness, her safety, comfort and peace of mind... she'd do anything.
The time until the doctor's final checkup seemed agonizingly slow to them all. Particularly the patient herself, who was eager to get out of this damn hospital and go back to her normal life.
The panic attacks had mostly subsided, so long as she was with someone or otherwise occupied. The nightmares were still as intense as ever, though. (Y/N) was tired of waking up in tears, shaking and terrified. So she'd been mostly staying up. Sure, it wasn't the healthiest solution, but she was convinced it would all go away if she just got back into her normal routine. If she could just stay busy, and pretend it never happened... maybe she'd stop feeling so terrified. She just wanted to go home, go back to work, hang out with her friends, do all the normal things. But she couldn't do that from a hospital bed.
Fortunately, the checkup went well. (Y/N)'s stomach was healing well, especially after the liquid diet had been extended a couple extra days. But she was back to solid food, and she was officially good to go!
"I'll go pull the van around," Aziza said. "Meet me out front in, like, 5 minutes." She smiled fondly at (Y/N), before leaning towards Silas as she walked out of the room. In a soft voice, she mumbled, "don't let her carry any of her stuff."
Silas nodded. That had already been the plan, but it was good to know they were on the same page. Though Silas was a bit more lucid in his obsession for (Y/N), he was still just as delusional about his role as her protector. Knowing they all felt the same way was the only reason they felt okay with the others being so close. Anyone who wasn't deeply invested in her protection, both physical and emotional, wasn't to be trusted. And honestly, Silas was glad that his roommates could be. Sure, (Y/N) would always come first, but he didn't want to let go of his friends if he didn't have to.
(Y/N) walked out of the building, supported somewhat unnecessarily on both sides by Naoki and Lori, while Silas and Elijah carried the bags of her belongings she'd kept with her at the hospital for her almost week-long stay.
Aziza's vehicle was a silver minivan── a very stereotypical looking "Mom Car" as her roommates called it. Even before (Y/N) moved in, there were five of them total, and now with six, they could definitely use the extra space. That didn't stop them from teasing Aziza, who already fit into the archetypal "Mom Friend" role, about having that style of car. To this day, Naoki's contact name for Aziza was Soccer Mommy.
Aziza drove as she always did in that car. She didn't trust any of them with her car, even though they were decently safe drivers── except for Lori, who failed her driver's test 8 times before she finally got a barely passing grade.
(Y/N) sat in the back seat, next to Silas. Elijah sat in the front passenger seat, as he tended to do. And Naoki and Lori sat in the very back. The other four were slightly envious of Silas being the one who won the coveted spot next to (Y/N), but it was admittedly a pretty short drive back home, so they satisfied themselves with knowing they'd have her home with them soon anyway.
Once back at the house (Y/N) had come to miss during her hospital stay, she immediately set to work unpacking. This concerned her lovesick roommates, who wanted her to relax and let them care for her in every way possible. Aziza, being likely the most persuasive, was elected to go talk (Y/N) into resting, while Naoki ordered her favorite food, Elijah cleaned up more, and Lori and Silas worked on setting up a pillow fort for another movie night.
Aziza knocked on the frame of (Y/N)'s open bedroom door. "Can I come in?"
(Y/N) looked up, and offered a sweet smile. "Of course," she said. "What's up?"
Stepping further into the room, Aziza sat on the edge of her bed, where the girl was currently sorting through clothes from her hospital bag. She watched (Y/N) for a few moments. "Are you sure you don't wanna hold off on unpacking til tomorrow?" She asked gently. "You just got home. You should be resting."
"I won't have time tomorrow, I'm going back to work." (Y/N) didn't look up as she spoke, just continued folding a pair of sweatpants.
Aziza's brows knit together in confused concern. "You're going back to work?"
"Yeah, I already called my bosses and let them know," (Y/N) confirmed. She finally met her roommate's gaze, and gave a reassuring smile. "I know you guys are worried about me, but I'm fine. I'm ready to go back to work. I just wanna stay busy and forget all this happened."
Aziza watched her with an unreadable expression on her face, not speaking for a couple moments. Finally, she reached out and placed her hands over (Y/N)'s, and met her gaze seriously. "I know that seems like the best way to handle things. Maybe the only way to handle things, but..." She sighed. "Trust me when I tell you, it doesn't work. Even if you can make yourself forget, you'll still suffer the damage of what happened. Believe me, it'll be better for you if you let yourself process it."
(Y/N) exhaled, and nodded. "How'd you get to be so wise?" She joked faintly. But when Aziza looked into her eyes, she could tell there was a genuine curiosity in what led her to speak so confidently in this.
"I... went through a lot as a kid. I went into the foster care system when I was 4, I think." Aziza had never talked about this to anyone, not in detail anyway. But she wanted to share this with (Y/N). She felt they both needed it, in different ways. "I don't remember anything before that. I was super young, obviously." She shook her head. "I don't remember much of anything until about age 14. The only time I really do is when I have nightmares about it." She fought the tears that kept trying to well up in her eyes, and cleared her throat to keep it from wavering. "Things happened to me. Bad things. And I've never wanted to remember it, but... these things have a way of affecting you anyway. And if you don't deal with it, it'll keep getting harder." She offered a soft smile. "But we're all here to help you through whatever you're feeling, okay?"
"Yeah, but the... attack──" speaking it aloud was still difficult for the girl. "──wasn't anything like what you experienced."
"It was different, yes," Aziza conceded. "But it's still trauma. You're allowed to be affected by it. And you're definitely allowed to get help for it, whatever you want that to look like."
(Y/N) hesitated. It was against her nature to ask for help, having grown up forced into a role of great independence. But she trusted her roommates. "...Thank you," she mumbled finally. "That── That means more than I can say."
"I know," Aziza said. "If you need to keep yourself busy, that's okay. Just make sure not to overdo it, and please..." She rubbed her thumb along (Y/N)'s hands soothingly. "Come to us if you ever need anything. Okay?"
(Y/N) had never felt so lucky to know a group of people before. "Okay," she said, that genuine, beautiful smile of her's returning to her tired face.
*. : ｡✿ * ﾟ * .: ｡ ✿ * ﾟ * . : ｡ ✿ *
AUTHOR'S NOTE
long chapter, felt a little boring to me, but at least it's done now. also aziza lore unlocked!! slay