Note: This bonus chapter takes place between Boyfriend (ch. 5) and Date Night (ch. 6).
The arrival of this month's Pop Tiger crashed what had been a perfectly calm afternoon at the Palm Woods. Carlos treated himself to another pack of Fruit Smackers from the vending machines, while James and Logan fussed over a magazine ad for a ridiculously expensive pair of Buster Clyde sneakers. Kit and Kendall sat in the chairs opposite them. Kendall had printed out two tickets to the zoo for him and Jo, and Kit was helping him plan the date.
When Katie approached them with the day's mail in her hands, she grimaced. Kendall looked up from his camera at the sight of his youngest sister. The girl pulled something from the stack and tossed it into Kendall's lap. Pop Tiger's November 2010 issue featured a main story with the headline "Hot New Couple."
Kendall picked it up to get a better look. Kit leaned in to read it over his shoulder. It featured a picture of Jo and Jett embracing that looked as if it had been taken from their scenes co-starring in New Town High. Brows furrowing, he read the headline out loud for the others to hear:
"'Jo Confesses: Jett's My Man?'"
The statement pulled Logan and James from their sneakers. They gaped at Kendall, speechless. Kit pursed her lips. So much for having a relaxing day off.
With the magazine in hand, Kendall led the group back to the crib to investigate. He paced the length of the living room and allowed his friends to look at it more closely. James took it from him and held it between himself and Logan. He sat at the breakfast bar with Kit in his lap and Logan in the stool next to them, his laptop open. James pointed to one of the paragraphs:
"It says things got hot on the very first episode..."
Kendall could only shrug in response, lifting his hand away from his lips momentarily.
"And that their on-screen chemistry quickly turned into off-screen romance," Logan read him the rest.
James shut the magazine, careful to keep a thumb in place in case they wanted to reference the page again. Kit frowned. She was beyond confused, and wished she had something encouraging to say to her brother.
Before she could think of anything, Jo burst into the apartment. She didn't need to be asked:
"I can explain!"
Kendall's eyes widened, incredulous. He was dying to hear it.
"Okay," James and Logan demanded, eyebrows raised. "Explain."
"Guys," Kendall cut them off. "I can handle this."
Crossing his arms over his chest, he added: "Okay, explain."
Jo sighed, "I can't."
James and Logan shared a look, unimpressed. Kit blinked at Jo, feeling torn between her loyalty to her twin and to her best friend.
"They told me that photo was gonna be on a billboard."
Logan held up the magazine, gesturing to the photo of Jo and Jett. "Does this look like a billboard?"
Jo gaped at Logan. She didn't know what to tell him.
"Guys," Kendall quieted him again.
Logan let the magazine drop from his hand with a raise of his eyebrows.
"I'm going to see the network publicist right now to get to the bottom of this," Jo assured Kendall.
He nodded in agreement. It was the first useful thing he had heard since seeing the headline.
With the hand that wasn't around Kit's waist, James pointed to Kendall. "Yeah, well, Kendall's going with you!"
"Guys," Kendall bent his knees, throwing his hands in frustration. "I got this!"
His head shot back to Jo: "Kendall's goin' with ya!"
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Carlos put the usual amount of money into the vending machine, punched in II, and bent to retrieve his next pack of gummies. When he reached his hand into the machine, it came up empty. He shot back up, glancing at the food. It hadn't moved. He tapped his hand against the glass.
"Hello? Where are my Fruit Smackers?"
He continued to rapidly tap at it, as if he could somehow shake it free.
"Uh-oh," said a voice behind him. "Looks like somebody didn't look at the new vending machine prices."
Once he had read it, Carlos whipped his head around to face Bitters. "$4.00?"
"Hey, voiceover lessons are expensive."
Bitters had been trying to break into the voice actor world, and in doing so had not only inserted himself into the personal lives of the residents, but apparently decided to make them pay for it, too.
"Yeah," said Carlos. "But the nearest convenience store is like two miles away!"
"Which is why you'll pay the $4."
Carlos watched in horror as Bitters walked off, letting out an evil laugh as he went. He was quick to turn back to the machine. "No, no, no!"
Katie approached him. Curiously, she asked:
"What's he evilly laughing about now?"
"He upped the vending prices!" Carlos gestured to the machine and large print where the new sign read $4.00. "Now I can't afford my Fruit Smackers."
He pressed his hands and face against the glass to get as close to them as possible. "I love them so much."
Katie rolled her eyes. She approached the vending machine. Carlos pulled his face back to get a better look as he spotted a tiny hand inside the machine. It grabbed a packet of gummies. Katie pulled her arm and the snack free and put it in Carlos's hands.
"Oh," he gasped. "Thanks, Katie."
"Don't mention it," she grinned.
Katie walked away, leaving Carlos to his Fruit Smackers. He wasted no time in tearing into them.
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Logan's laptop remained open to the Buster Clyde webpage. He and James were waiting for the sale to go live. Kit had left James's arms and now sat on the couch, her nose buried in a book and her headphones in. The boys leaned in to stare at the screen. Logan turned the green computer so that James could see the screen better.
"Okay," Logan clapped his hands together. "Now, before we buy these limited-edition Buster Clydes together, you agree these are not for wearing, but for reselling and getting rich."
James's grin faded.
"Yeah," he said quickly. "If we can even get a pair!"
He pointed to the countdown clock on the webpage. "Reserving starts in 30 seconds!"
Logan placed a stack of papers before James. It was labeled 'Contract' in large, bold letters and held together by a paper clip. Red sticky-note arrows indicated where to sign.
"But, you agree," Logan grabbed a pen. "You no wear-y. We resell-y."
James took it with a terse grin. He scribbled his signature as Logan pointed to him:
"Sign here. Thank you very much."
James threw the pen aside. He turned his attention quickly back to the laptop.
"Okay, Logan," he snapped. "It's time to order."
Logan flinched as James smacked his hands against the counter.
"Okay," he agreed.
Leaning in, Logan moved the cursor over the Buy Now button and lifted his hand above the computer mouse, wiggling his fingers. James's eyes widened in anticipation.
"Go!"
He jammed his finger into the left button. The boys leaned in, crossing their fingers, as they waited to see if it went through or not.
"Come on, come on..."
An electronic beep and a green light let them know that the order was complete. "Yes!"
Logan jumped up from his seat, excited. James was not a second behind him. The boys joined their hands together, interlocking their fingers above their heads as they jumped. Together, they began to chant:
"We did it, we did it!"
The movement caused Kit to look up from her copy of Before I Fall. Her eyebrows shot upwards at the sight of the boys. Before she could tease them, her mother entered the room from the side hallway. She had a basket of laundry under her arm. She paused when she spotted James and Logan.
Their voices trailed off as they noticed her. Although they didn't immediately drop each other's hands, they stopped jumping and their heads shot to Mrs. Knight, mouths open. After a moment's hesitation, they pulled their hands apart. James pulled his close to his chest as Logan held up his arms, shrugging.
"We bought some sneakers online," they explained.
Mrs. Knight offered a brief shrug in response, "Okay."
She gave the boys a smile and left to do her laundry.
"Cute," said Kit, smirking.
The boys turned to look at her, eyes widening. James offered a brief laugh before the both of them quickly turned back to the computer. Their shoes were now ready for pick-up.
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Kendall and Jo marched into her publicist's office. Colossal Studio's publicist was a stern woman with dark hair, glasses, and a power suit. Kendall crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing her closely, as Jo pleaded with her. The woman didn't seem too interested in Jo's concerns. She placed both of her hands flat against her desk as she addressed the girl:
"Jo, here's how publicity works: you give the people what they want."
The last voice Kendall wanted to hear chimed in from the doorway. He and Jo both turned to see Jett Stetson strolling into the office.
"And what people want is the cutest couple on TV to be the hottest couple in Hollywood."
Jett locked his eyes on Jo and reached a hand out to wrap around her shoulders. She glared at him. The publicist smiled, nodding, at this.
Jett left Jo and stepped to stand beside their publicist.
Incredulous, Kendall asked: "You knew about this?"
"Knew about it?" The publicist repeated. "It was his idea!"
Jo blinked. "What?"
"This story is already boosting New Town High's ratings," said the publicist. "That's why you and your 'boyfriend,' Jett, are going to be walking the red carpet at Hollywood's Hottest Young Faces Gala tomorrow night."
Kendall glanced at Jo, uncertain. It faded into annoyance as Jett held up two tickets to the HHYF Gala. Jo glared at the woman. Both her and Kendall furrowed their brows at her.
"But me and Jett are not real."
Jett put the tickets back down. "But we could be. Me and you on the red carpet— the lights, the cameras; it can all get very hot."
Jo scrunched her face up at this, disgusted by the idea.
"Can I hit him?" Kendall asked, glaring at the other boy.
"Not yet," Jo held her hand up, cutting him off.
Kendall held up one fist anyways, giving Jett a warning look.
"What if I break up with him?"
"Do that, and fans will sympathize with Jett, your popularity will plummet, forcing us to kill you off in some sort of bizarre cheerleading accident."
Jo looked to Kendall, horrified.
"And, Jo," added Jett. "Have you ever really taken a good look at Kendall's face? It's odd!"
Kendall had had enough.
"All right," he snapped. "That's it!"
Kendall lifted a fist, ready to punch Jett's smug smile right off him. The publicist stopped him before he hopped over the desk.
"Who are you?"
"He's my real boyfriend," said Jo, gesturing to him.
"Oh, sweetie," she leaned in slightly. Her tone was condescending. "I'm sorry. Not anymore."
Kendall and Jo shared a look at this news. They were given no more time to plead their case before Kendall was escorted outside the EMZ building by two men in bright yellow jackets. As he found himself out on the street again, Kendall threw out his hands.
"What is with all the huge security dudes in this town?"
He jumped, exclaiming quietly, as Freight Train silently approached him. Kendall had barely any time to react before the man was leading him away.
"Gustavo wants to see you," Freight Train informed him as he scooped the teen up and over his shoulder.
"You know, it's good to see you, Freight Train."
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Kendall caught himself as Freight Train dropped him on the couch in Gustavo's office. He stared ahead at Gustavo as he held up a copy of the magazine. Kelly stared at it, pursing her lips.
"These are the kind of lies that drive me crazy about this town," Gustavo slammed it down on his desk, voice raising. "The fans need to know the truth."
"And the truth is," Kelly added. "Hollywood's Hottest New Face should walk the red carpet tomorrow not with Jett but with her real boyfriend."
Kendall nodded, agreeing.
"Kendall Knight from the band Big Time Rush," Gustavo finished.
Kendall's eyes darted between Kelly and Gustavo as they waved their hands around, as if to picture the words up in lights.
"Not you guys, too," Kendall's expression hardly changed.
"Do you have any photos of you and Jo, like, making out or something?" Gustavo asked.
"What? So you can put them in a magazine to get publicity for Big Time Rush?"
"We were thinking Internet," Kelly corrected him with a smile.
"Internet," Gustavo whispered the word, waving his hands again.
"Sorry," Kendall shook his head. "I don't have any photos of me and Jo making out 'or something.'"
Not that he would have handed them over willingly if he did. Raising their eyebrows, Gustavo and Kelly wordlessly snapped their fingers. Kendall jumped, turning to the doorway, as the sound of camera shutters clicking got his attention.
"Can you get us some?"
"No!" Kendall shook his head, horrified, and stood up.
He stormed out of the office. As he passed the hired photographer, Kendall held up a hand to cover his face.
The man, at Gustavo's instructions, followed Kendall all the way back home. He was still snapping photos as Kendall made it through the front doors to the Palm Woods.
Meanwhile, just feet away, Carlos was staking out the lobby with a tree hat on. He popped his head up from behind a potted plant. "Coast is clear!"
Katie stood up at this. She approached the vending machine. Bending over, she opened the slot at the bottom and began to reach her hand in to steal Carlos some more gummies. To her surprise, an alarm blared to alert the entire lobby.
Carlos shot to his feet. Yelping, he began to slap the thing to shut it up.
"Quiet, please! Be quiet!"
Katie blinked at him. She watched, confused, as he continued to smack it.
Both their heads turned as the sound abruptly stopped. Bitters held a remote in his hand as he stared at them.
"Did you not notice my new vending machine with tiny arm alarm and digital password encoding?"
The pair turned their heads to look at it. Sure enough, it was a fancy new Crane GPL machine with bigger numbers and a digital screen that read the item's prices. Carlos turned back to Bitters, furrowing his brow into a grimace.
"Surprisingly, no."
Bitters pursed his lips. He pushed past Katie and Carlos to the machine. He blocked the pad from their view as he punched something into it. The vending machine beeped twice once he was done.
"Now," Bitters turned back to them. "If you want to snag your Smackers, it's going to cost you $5."
Carlos let out a shout as Bitters walked away from them. He rushed over to the machine.
"$5!"
Katie strolled over to it. She pressed the buttons, guessing his password.
"1-2-3-4-5" didn't work. Katie then punched in "5-4-3-2-1." When this also gave a beep to indicate she was wrong, Katie tried again. "0-0-0-0-0" was the right answer.
Katie chuckled, shaking her head. Carlos shouted excitedly. She punched the numbers in to select the new price for snacks.
"Idiot," she laughed. "5¢!"
Carlos turned around. He yelled out to the other kids and teens in the lobby:
"Hey, who wants Fruit Smackers for a nickel?"
The kids rushed to the machine, all shouting as they did so. They formed a long line behind Carlos. He put in his nickel and watched with glee as the packet fell.
Once he had them, Carlos jumped up. "Whoo-hoo!" He kissed it. As he tore into yet another package of gummies, Carlos let out an excited: "Yeah!"
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By the time Logan and James returned from picking up their shoes, Kit had moved on from her book and was working on writing a song. The boys' return broke her from her session. Curious, she rose to her feet and slowly approached them at the counter.
The box was a shiny gold color. James and Logan each held one end of it as they stared at it, gaping. Kit raised her eyebrows. She didn't quite understand what was so exciting about it. They hardly acknowledged her presence as they slowly opened the lid. Both gaped at the shoes, which seemed to glow.
"They're beautiful," both boys said.
Logan turned to look at James. "Okay, don't take them out of the box. We have to maintain their freshness."
With that, he returned to his computer to make the sale. James nodded, letting out a slow breath through his mouth.
"I'm posting online that they've never been touched," Logan informed him.
Kit's head turned as she heard the sounds of rustling and moaning. She scrunched her nose at her boyfriend as she watched him lift one of the shoes to his face and then cradled it, gently caressing it. Logan let out a scream as he caught James breaking their agreement.
"These shoes smell amazing," James's eyes were wide.
"Put them in the box now," Logan jammed his finger towards the open shoebox.
"Can't!" James hugged the shoe to his shoulder. "I'm in love with them."
Kit blinked at him. She really didn't understand what was so special about some shoes.
Logan launched himself at James, trying to yank the shoe back.
"You can't wear them!"
Kit stepped aside as the boys began to wrestle over it. James, who was three inches taller than Logan, lifted his arm as high as he could to keep it out of reach. The boys both began to shout over each as they struggled over the sneaker. It soon devolved into Logan reaching his arms around James's torso, as he moved the shoe from his back to front each time Logan went to grab it.
Mrs. Knight headed into the living room on her way out for a jog. She paused as her eyes fell on the boys. The woman held her earbuds out away from her ears, eyes wide, as she stared at the embrace she'd caught Logan and James in.
They broke apart. Playing it cool, they told her: "We're fighting about sneakers."
James held up the shoe to demonstrate.
Mrs. Knight shrugged. "Okay." She tore her eyes away as she slowly put in her headphones and left for her run.
Logan used the opportunity to snatch it away from James.
"You signed a contract that states we sell these for $1,000 once they sell out, and you won't wear them!" He pointed an accusatory finger at James.
"I need to be seen in these shoes just once," James insisted.
Kit crossed her arms over her chest. She cocked an eyebrow. "Why, who are you trying to impress?"
James didn't bother to explain it to her. He chuckled.
"Please," Pressing his hands together, he began to beg. "Pretty please, pretty please?"
With a heavy sigh, Logan decided he could compromise. He would allow James to wear the shoes only if he also wore plastic bags over them to keep them clean. Kit watched on, now deeply invested in where this was going.
She sat at the counter and watched James dance around in his new shoes.
"One lap around the Palm Woods," Logan reminded him. "And then right back here. The shoes have to stay in mint condition to sell."
James held his hand up in the 'okay' symbol, nodding. "Got it."
Logan watched him hesitantly, hands on his hips. "Okay."
He flicked his hand, gesturing for James to go. James crossed his legs over each other, gave one spin, and opened the apartment door.
The plastic bags lasted only about as long as it took for James to ride the elevators down to the lobby. He trashed them as he strode out into the lobby.
While Kit may not have understood the appeal of some designer sneakers, it seemed the other teens at the Palm Woods felt differently. James turned heads as he strolled confidently through the room.
"Looking good," a group of girls called to him.
Another girl couldn't take her eyes off them. "Nice Clydes."
James offered finger guns in response. He continued his parade out by the pool, accepting each compliment that came his way.
Two girls who sat in pool loungers pushed their sunglasses on their foreheads, mouths agape as they gawked at him.
"Hi, James," one of them called, twirling her hair around her fingers.
He waved to them but didn't stop to chat. His attention, however, remained on those around him and not where he was going.
The slippery tiles of the pool deck were covered in little pieces of dirt and grass tracked in from the nearby park. As if that weren't bad enough, James got the toes of his right sneaker caught under the legs of a table. The fabric ripped. James stopped abruptly to stare down at them in horror. There was a long, visible scratch on the brand-new shoes. Logan was going to kill him. Glancing between the shoes and his surroundings, James let out a scream. He turned, brow furrowed, as an army of paparazzi rushed by him, chasing after something.
That something, it turned out, was Hollywood's hottest new 'couple,' Jo Taylor and her co-star Jett Stetson. The pair walked into the Palm Woods gripping each other's arms. Jo smiled for the cameras. Jett muttered a hello and reached to put his arm around Jo. This forced her close to him. Jo turned, giving the cameras one last smile, as they stepped onto the elevators. Jett blew them a kiss.
Once the doors finally closed, Jo shoved his hand off of her.
"I can't believe you did this," she glared at him.
Jett simply reached his arm back around her.
"Want to practice a red carpet smooch?"
Jo gaped at him. She leaned away slightly.
"You are unbelievable!"
"I know," he said.
Luckily, the elevator reached the second floor just in time. The doors opened with a ding. Jo pushed Jett out the second she could. He fell into a man dressed as a biker. Jett caught his footing and turned back to them:
"We— hey!"
He now recognized that it was Kendall wearing a long brown wig and a fake mustache. Jo offered a wave just as the doors shut in Jett's face.
"Here," Kendall held up a tote bag. "Put this on."
Jo plucked the floppy sun hat from the top and put that on her head first. She made quick work of getting into disguise. By the time they made it back to the lobby, Jo was dressed in a Palm Woods robe, kneeling to appear shorter, and wearing sunglasses. As the doors opened, several paparazzies held up their cameras in anticipation.
"Oh, man!"
The press stood down at the sight of a biker and an old woman.
"Nobody."
They scattered.
In a gruff voice, Kendall spoke, "Excuse us. What are they taking pictures of?"
This afforded them enough anonymity to catch a seat together by the pool. Once the cameras were gone, Jo let out a sigh.
"According to my agent, if I fake-dump Jett, the fans will hate me, and I might never work again."
"Okay," Kendall nodded. "But we can't keep sneaking around like this."
Only, they did. Kendall and Jo continued to switch up their disguises, not willing to take any risks. For their coffee date, Jo came dressed as a hippie and Kendall decided on a cowboy costume. They held hands across the table as they shared a pastry.
Jo lowered her coffee cup. "We could hang out at Rocque Records, but Gustavo's trying to catch us together."
Kendall sighed, "All I'm saying is these chaps are riding up on me."
He kicked a leg out, pulling on the uncomfortable clothes.
"Then we'll change disguises," Jo suggested.
But Kendall only disliked the next ones even more. He borrowed his mother's dress and put on an unassuming brown wig. Jo was dressed like an old man.
Gesturing to himself, Kendall huffed. "This is not better!"
"I just want to see my normal girlfriend, Jo, not... man Jo, and go to the zoo!"
"Tell you what," Jo suggested. "Meet me in the lobby later: no disguises, just me and you together."
Placing her hands on Kendall's shoulders, Jo kissed Kendall on the lips. Only, her fake mustache and the ends of Kendall's wig tickling her wrists didn't feel right. Kendall's lovestruck grin faded fast as she pulled away. His face scrunched in disgust.
"That was really weird."
Jo couldn't help but to agree. She nodded.
Mrs. Knight ran by the pair on her jog. Her presence caught Kendall's attention. Forgetting his disguise, he smiled and called after: "Oh, hey, Ma!"
The woman turned to see her son dressed in her clothing and his girlfriend also cross-dressed. Mama Knight hesitated only half a second before she waved. "Okay!"
As she turned back around, she ran right into a tree.
Kendall and Jo decided to give in and have a date at Rocque Records. They played a game of foosball in the break room. Forgetting the security cameras, and Gustavo's desperation to out them as a couple, Kendall and Jo shared a sweet kiss.
Gustavo and Kelly sat in his office, watching the footage, until they got the shot they wanted. They paused the video as soon as the teen's lips touched.
"Bingo!"
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Before he returned to face Logan, James retrieved the bags from the trash and put the shoes back inside them. He opened the door to 2J to find Kit and Logan still sitting at the counter. Logan was typing something on his laptop while Kit scribbled in her notebook.
Logan looked up at him, grinning.
"Ha ha!" He beamed. "Great news, my friend!"
Logan didn't seem to notice the pure shock on James's face. He threw his hands up, excited, as he informed James: "Buster Clydes are sold out everywhere, and a sheik wants our pair for $3,000!"
Kit eyed her boyfriend suspiciously. Although James's lips curved into a smile, his eyes still had the same round look of pure surprise.
"What did you do?" Kit asked.
As James began to nod stiffly, Logan finally noticed. He narrowed his eyes, repeating:
"What did you do?"
"Pff," James brushed it off. "Nothing."
He took off running out of the still-open front door. Logan shot up to grab the shoes from him, calling after him as he went.
"James!"
Kit chuckled to herself and plopped some of the popcorn she and Logan had been sharing into her mouth.
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Carlos and Katie were enjoying their almost-free snacks. The other kids at the Palm Woods were, too. Everyone out by the pool was chatting over a bag of Fruit Smackers. Grinning, Carlos turned to Katie:
"You know what? We're like Robin Hoods. We steal from the Bitters, and then give to the poor Palm Woods kids who can't afford his overpriced snacks."
Carlos cheered as he pulled his hoodie up over his head. Katie smiled, amused. She glanced over towards the lobby. Bitters was rapidly approaching them:
"And here comes the Sheriff of Eatingham. Deny everything."
Carlos nodded, rolling his lips inwards.
"You kids–"
"I deny everything," Carlos said immediately.
Katie threw her hands up in frustration. "You have to wait until he finishes."
"Oh," Carlos grimaced.
Bitters held up his hands. He yelled out to everyone on the pool deck, "Attention Palm Woods losers: Fruit Smackers and everything in the vending machine is now $6!"
This news was met with shock and collective groans.
"Thanks to Robin and Hoodie," Bitters gestured to Katie and Carlos.
He then turned to retreat inside, his security officer and canine in tow. Katie glared after him.
Carlos wilted in his seat as the crowd turned their attention to the pair, glaring.
"Great," Katie sighed. "Now the townspeople hate us."
Carlos stood.
"Yes," he stared wistfully off into the distance. "But our legend grows. Put your hoodie on."
Katie did as he said, though she was unsure where he was going with this.
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Jo sipped her latte. She and Kendall were back in the Palm Woods lobby. Jo sat at a table with Jett, while Kendall had to sit directly behind Jo with his laptop. They were able to talk but couldn't see each other.
"Well," Jo said. "It's not the zoo, but we are together with no disguises."
"Yeah," Kendall shrugged. "That's true."
Jett grumbled, "I am not into this."
"Just shut it, Jett," Kendall snapped. "You started this."
Jo cut him off, hoping to slow the ensuing fight.
"Look, we're all going to get along and accept the fact that this is what it's like dating and fake dating in Hollywood."
Jett shot her a look, raising his eyebrows, as he pouted.
Kendall's eyes widened as he happened upon an unwelcome article on VMZ's website.
"Yeah," he said. "That just got a lot harder."
The photo of Kendall and Jo kissing in Gustavo's break room was captioned with the headline: Jo Taylor gets a BIG TIME CRUSH!
Kendall lifted the computer and turned to show Jo and Jett. Jo held the laptop in her hands, gaping at it. Jett leaned in, placing a hand to her shoulder.
"You're cheating on me?" He asked.
Before Jo could tell him to shut up, the crowd of paparazzi were back and shouting questions at them.
"Are you dating Jett or Kendall?"
Jo was stuck between Jett, who was trying to pose for the cameras, and Kendall who did his best to shield their faces.
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Jo and Kendall were called into the publicist's office to witness the latest MTV News segment. The headline Two-Time High? did not sit well. It featured the footage of the three from the Palm Woods lobby.
"Two-time High? That's what everyone is asking when photos of the hot new star of New Town High surfaced with a new beau. Now fans want to know who's gonna be the other half of Hollywood's hottest couple on the red carpet with Jo?"
The publicist clicked her television off. She looked expectantly to Jo and Kendall. They grimaced, shrinking under her looks.
"I know who needs to be the other half of the hottest couple on the red carpet," Jett glared at the couple. "And that's me! Not... that."
He gestured to Kendall.
Mouth agape, Kendall asked again: "Can I hit him now?"
"Yeah, go ahead," Jo rolled her eyes.
Jett reached his hands up to protect his face as Kendall revved up to charge at him. He was held back before he could take a step. The same two security guards as before held him by one arm each.
Incredulous, he asked, "Where do they come from?"
"Don't worry, Jett," the publicist assured. "Because Kendall is going to disappear from the public eye for a little while."
She stepped over to the door at the back of her office and gripped the handle.
"Oh, really? Where am I going?"
As she opened the door, the woman answered: "You are going to be living in here for five weeks."
It was a tiny closet with the power breaker, an ancient TV, and a small cot; the woman had what was essentially a prison cell just waiting in her office. Jett pointed to it, smirking. Kendall stared at it, eyes wide.
"That's the standard life cycle for celebrity gossip," she explained.
Kendall struggled as the men began to drag him in there. "Oh, no!"
Luckily, Gustavo and Kelly entered the office before they could reach the room.
"He's not living in there," Gustavo boomed. "'Cause Kendall is gonna walk the red carpet with Jo."
"Now give us the boy," Kelly demanded.
"Yeah, right," the bald security officer scoffed.
"What?" Gustavo snapped his fingers, pointing a finger, as Freight Train silently entered the room.
All eyes widened. The men readily handed Kendall over. "Here you go."
Freight Train caught Kendall as they threw him, holding him bridal style with ease.
"Locked in a closet or not," the publicist approached her client. "Jo is walking the red carpet with Jett."
Grabbing her by the arm, the woman dragged her to stand over by Jett. Kendall cut her off as he made it back to his feet. He grabbed Jo's hand in his. The couple tried to plead with them:
"Wait, doesn't anyone care what we think?"
The answer was a collective, "No!"
Kendall and Jo had to be physically pried apart. Freight Train, Gustavo, and Kelly all dragged Kendall backwards out of the office.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
After catching up with James, Logan got him back into the crib and took the shoes out of the bag to assess the damage.
"This was your plan all along," he accused. "To scuff the shoes so I couldn't sell them, and you could wear them."
"Oh," James pointed his finger in Logan's direction then to himself. "You know I'm not that clever."
Kit frowned.
"That's a good point," Logan agreed.
He shook it off. "But, the sheik's coming in three hours, and when he sees the scratch, bye-bye three grand!"
"Ah, well," James shrugged. "Then we'll just wash it off!"
Kit furrowed her brows at him. Logan snatched it back from James.
"No, no!"
He slammed it back flat on the counter.
"You don't put water on leather. It ruins it."
"How did you not know that?" Kit tilted her head.
"Well," James said. "I guess we can't sell them."
His expression quickly lit up. "So, I'll just keep them and wear them. Bye!"
He gave a short wave, snatched the shoe, and turned to leave. Before Kit and Logan could even blink, he had both shoes on his feet and was headed back towards the door. Logan rushed to chase him, but it was Kit's voice that got James to turn around.
"Stop! Look, why don't you idiots just match the finish with some nail polish and buff out the scratch with some of my makeup?"
"Brilliant," Logan grinned.
Rolling her eyes, Kit got up and went to retrieve the supplies from her bedroom. While Kit was gone, Mrs. Knight returned from her run.
"Hopefully, Kit gets back soon with the nail polish," said James.
When he saw that Mama Knight was back, he turned to face her, smiling awkwardly.
"Um, just borrowing it," he added.
The woman shrugged, "Okay."
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Carlos and Katie confronted Bitters. The vending machines were now closely guarded by the security officer and his canine.
"You've lost your mind," Katie said.
Bitters held a wad of cash and a packet of Fruit Smackers in his hands.
"Correction," he said. "You've lost. And how does defeat taste?"
Katie placed a hand to her hip, cocking it. She blinked at him as he continued to gloat:
"Not as sweet as victory or Fruit Smackers."
Carlos jumped, trying to catch them, as Bitters dangled a package of the gummies in front of him.
"No, snack– Smackers!"
The two began to wrestle over it.
"Let go!"
Bitters won out in the end. "Aha!"
Carlos stepped back to Katie with a deep frown. Bitters continued to taunt him.
"You want your Smackers, then you'll pay. If you want me, don't, because I'll be paying for more voiceover lessons."
He began to count his cash, stepping forward. Bitters walked directly between them, letting out an insincere "Excuse me."
Katie and Carlos turned to watch him leave. Carlos crossed his arms over his chest. He leaned in to ask Katie:
"Did you get them?"
With a devious grin, she held up the ring of keys and jangled them. She wasted no time in using them to unlock the store room where Bitters kept the food supplies for the vending machine. They decided to go straight for the source.
Carlos gasped at the sight of boxes full of snacks.
"Robin and Hoodie strike again," Katie and Carlos shared in a fist bump.
Turning around to announce to the lobby, he yelled: "Hey, free Fruit Smackers for everyone!"
Carlos whooped as the kids cheered and charged to take snacks from the room. He and Katie caught some packets that were tossed their way. Even Bitters' security guard took one.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
The second that Freight Train set him down in Gustavo's office again, Kendall went off on his manager.
"I am very mad at all of you!"
He even turned to Freight Train, betrayed.
"Kendall," Kelly informed him. "There are two things the public can't get enough of: hot celebrity couples and cute animals doing silly things."
She turned Gustavo's laptop around to show him a SnoobTube video of a panda sneezing. Gustavo and Kelly couldn't help but to laugh at it.
"Gets me every time," Freight Train chuckled.
"It's great," Kelly agreed.
She closed the computer again, turning back to Kendall.
"And since you're not a sneezing panda, we need to get you on that red carpet tomorrow with Jo."
He exhaled sharply. "Well, why can't you just make James and Kit do it? They're a hot celebrity couple–"
Gustavo raised an eyebrow. "Kit is a very new artist, and have you met James?"
Kendall pursed his lips but didn't argue with that. Instead, he let Gustavo continue:
"Getting on that carpet will create a publicity juggernaut for Big Time Rush!"
"But if I go on the red carpet with Jo, she'll alienate her fans and get kicked off the show."
Kelly and Gustavo sighed.
"I have a three point plan for that."
Kendall nodded.
"I don't care!"
"Well," Kendall shot back. "Is there a plan where everybody gets what they want, and Jo and I could just go to the zoo?"
Freight Train, Kelly, and Gustavo told him, "No!"
Kendall collapsed into his seat, defeated. He resolved to go to the one person he knew he could always count on for help: Kit.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
When he found her, Kit was still in the crib, watching Logan buff the scratch off the shoes. She had already painted the tear over with black and shimmery gold nail polish. Logan insisted she let him finish, and Kit was pretty sure it was just because he had gotten out his lab coat and goggles for the occasion. Rolling her eyes, she stepped back and let him. James watched intently.
Kendall stepped out from his bedroom, now dressed in a ski outfit and carrying equipment with him. Kit approached him, eyes inquisitive. "Meeting Jo again?"
Kendall nodded.
"Look," he sighed. "I need that brain of yours."
Kit raised her eyebrows. She chanced a look back at James and Logan, but they were still deeply invested in their shoes.
"Okay, shoot," she nodded.
Kendall recounted what Gustavo had told him in his office. "So, will you please just go talk to him and see if he'll let you and James go instead, because–"
"No," Kit shook her head. "That's not gonna fix anything. You remember that panda video?"
Kendall nodded, shrugging.
"Good. Now, here's what you're going to do–"
She stepped forward and whispered her plan to Kendall. He beamed at her when she stepped back.
"Kit Kat," Kendall pressed an appreciative kiss to his sister's cheek. "You're a genius!"
She smiled, grinning. It seemed she was helping everyone fix their problems today.
Kit turned back to supervising James and Logan once Kendall left to meet Jo. As Logan slowly lifted the buffer from the shoe, he was relieved to see it looked brand new again.
"Ha! It's perfect!" James beamed, gesturing to the now blemish-free shoe.
"And it's gonna stay that way," Logan shoved a finger in James's chest. Turning back to his shoe, he added: "'Till Sheik Moneybags arrives in an hour, and we cash in on these overpriced poo stompers."
The boys grinned, rubbing their fingers together as they imagined the cash. Kit glanced at James, eyebrow raised, as he snapped his head to Logan, offended.
"'Poo stompers?'"
He picked up the shoe and walked to the other side of Logan. "Have you ever worn a pair of Limited Edition Series 3 Buster Clydes?"
Amused, Logan shook his head, "No."
James let the shoe fall from his hands.
"Try one on," he urged. "Just one."
Logan took a deep breath. He caved, sliding his foot out of usual loafers and into the sneakers.
"And how does that feel?" James asked.
Logan grinned. "Oh, it feels good."
Kit blinked between the two, mildly disturbed. "Okay," she clapped a hand to each of their shoulders. "I am officially creeped out."
She brushed past them and grabbed her songbook from the counter. Kit plopped herself down on the couch, while James talked Logan into taking the shoes for a walk around the Palm Woods.
Once they were alone again, James sidled up to his girlfriend. With his best puppy dog eyes, he asked: "So, you wanna make out until he gets back?"
Kit pursed her lips. She shut her songbook, giving up on it. "Sure, why not."
She giggled into his touch as James leaned over to capture her lips into a kiss.
Meanwhile, Logan strode out of the elevator. It seemed the shoes had given him a new confidence. He received the same reception that James had earlier.
"Great shoes!"
A boy whistled at the sneakers.
"Looking good, Logan!"
He threw a hand up in acknowledgement, calling over his shoulder: "You know it!"
The same girls who flirted with James earlier waved to him as he passed them in the Palm Woods Park.
"Hello, ladies," he grinned.
Just as he turned back around, his feet landed in a puddle of mud in the grass. Logan screamed once he saw them. Careful not to get them any muddier, he jumped out of the puddle. He tried to hop his way over to the sidewalk.
"You have got to be kidding me!"
He stepped in dog poop that someone hadn't bothered to clean up. Logan stopped, eyes wide, as his head snapped over to give the culprit a disapproving glare. He wagged his finger at him, scolding.
"Lightning! Bad dog!"
Lightening the TV Wonder Dog whimpered and covered his eyes with his paws, ashamed.
Logan only slipped before he could take another step. In his efforts not to fall, he slid directly into a patch of wet cement. That scream was the loudest yet.
So loud, in fact, that it drew the attention of Kendall. He met up with Jo in the park to fill her in on what Gustavo told him and Kit's idea. He was wearing his ski gear and Jo was dressed as some sort of retro flight attendant. They covered their faces as the scream drew the attention of hopeful paparazzi.
Kendall lifted his snow goggles to see her better. "What would you say if Kit and I found a way out of this?"
"I would say, I'm tired of sneaking around, and I'm in."
"It's a three-point plan," he said. "It involves your people, my people, and peanut butter."
He pulled out the jar of Ed Begley Jr.'s peanut butter that Kit had given him for their plan. Jo stared at it, confused.
With Jo on board, Kendall went to Rocque Records and Jo met up with her publicist to initiate phase one. They each told their teams a version of their plans. It was like the publicist said: give the people what they want.
"Okay," he told them. "I'm gonna 'dump' Jo on our date at the zoo."
"But," Jo said to her team. "That's when Jett swoops in and comforts me and my broken heart."
"And you realize that I've always been the guy for you, because I'm way better looking than Kendall," Jett said.
The publicist rose to her feet, "A big public break-up in front of all the paparazzi. It's genius!"
Jo nodded, grinning.
Back at Rocque Records, Kendall grinned as he continued, "And by dumping one of the hottest new faces in Hollywood..."
Gustavo rose to his feet, impressed. "Your legend begins as rock and roll's newest and hottest bad boy!"
Kendall nodded, grinning.
Jett liked the idea as much as Gustavo had.
"And I walk the red carpet as half of the hottest couple in Hollywood."
"I'm in," the publicist agreed.
Jo placed the sun hat on her head, smiling.
With the plan in motion, she met Kendall at Rocque Records. Jo arrived just as Gustavo and Kelly left. Kendall smiled at her.
"So, you ready for the zoo?"
She pulled the peanut butter from her bag, "Yep."
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
James had Kit pulled into his lap by the time Logan made it back. He ran into the apartment, gripping his stomach. The couple pulled apart as he let the door slam behind him. James leaned to see around Kit. He let out a shriek as he spotted the state of the shoes.
Kit sighed deeply and got up. James was hot on her heels. They approached him.
They were an unrecognizable brown color and the entire bottom soles were caked in concrete. Logan could only gape at them in horror. It was James's turn to ask:
"What did you do?"
Eyes wide, Logan held out his hands, "I can fix it!"
"The sheik is gonna be here in 20 minutes!"
Louder, Logan yelled again. "I can fix it!"
Kit's eyes softened. She offered Logan an apologetic smile. "Do you want me to get your lab coat again?"
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
After returning to find his supply closet robbed, Bitters called in for reinforcements. The technician who installed his new lasers sprayed a can of air over them to demonstrate.
"There's no way anyone is getting in that door now," he assured.
Bitters cackled, quite pleased with himself. He turned to yell out to the lobby:
"You hear that? No more free snacks from Robin and Hoodie."
The teens groaned at the news.
Unbeknownst to Bitters, Carlos and Katie were finding a way into that room that didn't require use of the door. They made their way to the room via the air ducts. Once they found the right place, Carlos lifted the grate up. He hooked Katie up to a rope and helped lower her down. She was able to easily lift one of the boxes of Fruit Smackers.
As soon as she had it, though, the room was filled with flashing red lights and an alarm blared. Katie's smile faded as she looked around. Carlos flinched as he heard barking. The canine rounded the corner in the vents and approached him. This startled him just enough to drop Katie.
"Carlos!" She screamed as she fell.
"It's a trap!" But his warning was too late.
Carlos jumped down after her with a crash. Bitters opened the door gleefully to reveal the two thieves. They were both dressed in all-black and lying on top of crushed boxes of gummies.
Bitters sat the pair down in one of the lobby couches. They crossed their arms over their chests, glaring at him. Bitters gave them his warning using his new voice-over skills:
"So, after falling into Bitters' storage room trap, Robin and Hoodie gave up their rebellious ways."
Katie and Carlos shared a look.
"Are you done?" Katie rolled her eyes.
"Aren't my voiceover lessons really paying off?" Bitters asked, hopeful.
Carlos shook his head. "You'll never win, because whenever injustice rears its ugly head, the masses will rise."
He whipped his hoodie back on. Bitters shared a look with his guard and security tech, then let out a laugh. He lifted his hands, waving them mockingly.
"I'm so scared of the masses rising," he said sarcastically.
His laughter faded away as the teens in the lobby pulled their hoods over their heads and approached Bitters, glaring. Carlos sat up in his seat at the sight. Kids of all ages surrounded the adults, their glares challenging him. Even the canine had on a hoodie, pulled up over his ears. He barked his disapproval.
Bitters flinched as the other two men took off running. Katie and Carlos stood, smirking at him.
Bitters sucked in a shaky breath, "And, realizing he was outnumbered and scared, Bitters lowered the price of Fruit Smackers to $1.25?"
He turned to the teens. Once he saw them nod in agreement, he added: "And ran to his office."
With Bitters gone and his highway robbery over, the room broke out in cheers. Carlos lifted Katie up to celebrate their victory.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Kit decided to stick around for their meeting with the sheik. She wanted to see the look on the man's face when they tried to tell him that the demolished shoes were brand new. The man took a seat facing the teens. He had a bodyguard with him, who slowly held a shiny silver briefcase. At the snap of his fingers, the man opened the case to show them the promised amount of money in cash.
Logan and James gasped, sharing a look. Kit furrowed her brow, wondering if they had forgotten the state of the sneakers.
The sheik snapped again. James gestured for Logan to show him the shoes. Swallowing thickly, he slowly lifted the gold lid from the box.
The man's eyes widened at the dirty, ruined state of them.
"You know what?" Logan's voice raised a few octaves in pitch due to his nerves. "Forget about the $3,000. Here's a special price: $1,500 and they're all yours!"
The sheik turned his head slowly to his bodyguard, who shook his head gravely.
"No, okay," Logan said.
"You drive a hard bargain," James tried. "But I like your robe. Five hundo for the Clydes–"
He waved his hand over the shoebox.
"No deal!"
James smacked the box from Logan's hands. "This is all your fault!"
He turned back to James, eyes wide.
"Oh, okay, my fault? I'm not the one who scratched the shoes!" He pushed James harshly.
Kit stepped back to stand by the side hallway. She didn't want to get in the middle of whatever fight was about to ensue, but she also wasn't motivated enough to stop it.
James stepped back to him, challenging: "Yeah, well, I'm not the one who stepped in cement and Lightning Bolts, am I?" He pushed Logan right back.
The sheik looked at his companion, confused.
"Okay," said Logan. "One minute."
Both boys screamed as Logan tackled James to the ground. As they tousled about Kit could just make out some of their argument:
"You just had to get me out of the crib so you could make out with Kit!"
"You're just jealous of our love!"
"Why did you even want to wear them, anyways? Who do you have to impress, huh?"
Kit's cheeks flushed lightly. She gave the stranger an awkward grin.
But he seemed to find it funny. The Sheikh laughed as the boys began to choke each other. As James body slammed on Logan, he chuckled. "Idiots!"
Kit could only nod in agreement. She turned as she heard the door open. Her mother returned with the now-finished laundry in hand.
Mama Knight stopped, gaping, at the sight before her. James and Logan wrestled on the ground, their arms around each other's necks, as a stranger watched them with a large amount of money.
"You are now my fourth-best friend!"
"You don't have any best friends!"
"At least I have a girlfriend-!"
Mama Knight threw the basket down, having heard more than she wanted or needed to.
"Okay, that is enough!"
The boys stopped their fighting, hands still gripping each other's shirts. They whipped their hands to look at her.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Kendall, Jo, and Jett met by the petting zoo enclosure at the Metro Zoo. Kelly, Gustavo, and Jo's publicist stood nearby to watch.
"The paparazzi will be here in three minutes," the woman informed.
"Okay, Kendall and I are gonna break up over there–" Jo pointed to a building in the distance. "By the gift shop."
"Then Jett swoops in and comes to her rescue," Kendall tells him.
"It's about time you realized Jo belongs with me and not you."
Jo forced a smile as she reached her hand up, taking the jar from her bag, and handing it to Kendall behind her back.
Kendall opened it, scooped some onto his hands, and stepped over to Jett. He clapped that hand to his back, smearing the food all over the back of his jacket.
"And I'm sure you will be very fake happy together."
"Split up!" Gustavo yelled, alerting them that their three minutes were nearly up. They scattered, leaving Jett alone by the llama cage.
He straightened his jacket out and took a step back to lean against the railing. Jett lifted his nose in the air, sniffing, as he caught a whiff of the peanut butter.
Jo and Kendall sat down on a nearby bench, partially secluded by some plants.
"Okay," he whispered. "The public loves two things: hot celebrity couples and cute animals doing silly things."
Kendall laced his fingers together, "So we combine the two for a public relations juggernaut."
"And you think it will work?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "But we did get to come to the zoo."
The pair rushed to peer out through the bushes as the sound of a commotion came from the petting zoo. A chocolate colored llama was licking the sticky food off of Jett's clothing.
"Back off, llama! I'm a star," Jett turned his head to try to catch a glimpse.
The llama grunted as it ate its snack. Jett turned, trying to push it away.
"Shoo! Back off, llama!"
Kendall did have to admit, that was pretty fun to watch. No matter how many times Jett pushed it away, the animal kept coming back. It was still going by the time the paparazzi showed up.
Just to be sure, Kendall and Jo changed into their last disguises— a zookeeper and a large blue bird costume— to get the press's attention.
"Hey, everybody, look! It's TV star Jett Stetson!"
"With a cute animal doing something silly!"
The paparazzi rushed over to get the picture. Jett tried to tell them off, shaking his head.
"That's one hungry llama, mate!"
"He's eating a TV star!"
Jett looked to his publicist, desperate. She egged him on.
"Just keep going with it. They're loving it!"
So, he played it up. Jett forced a smile as the animal continued to lick him. He even gave it a hug at his publicist's instruction. Jett planted a kiss to its snout.
Gustavo took one look at it, and he knew. "Oh, I think we're in the middle of another Kendall plan!"
Jo and Kendall shared a high-five.
They did get a big story on MTV out of it, after all. And it was being dubbed "one of the biggest web videos in the world."
Even better, Kendall got his wish. He would be the one next to Jo at the Hollywood Faces Gala. Jett, to his displeasure, was forced to take the llama and play up the video for all the attention it would give him.
As they walked hand-in-hand onto the red carpet together, Kendall learned that it wasn't quite as he imagined it. The pair stood just behind Jett, watching him pause for photos.
"Well," said Kendall, not taking his eyes off of them. "He did say he wanted to be half of the hottest couple in Hollywood."
Jo nodded. She lifted up her hand that was holding Kendall's. "And he is."
As they watched from a few feet away, Gustavo had a suggestion of his own for the publicist, "You should get that llama on your show."
"What would you say to Big Time Rush doing some songs for our soundtrack?"
"Done!" They sealed the deal with a fist bump.
Kelly called out once it was their turn, "Look, it's Kendall and Jo!"
The various cameras shoved into their faces and the bright lights of the flashes caught the teens off guard. They flinched and awkwardly fell to the ground, trying to get away from it. Jett had been right; it was hot under the lights. Just not the way Kendall thought he meant it.
To this day, Kendall still didn't know on Earth Kit and James managed to make all of this— the red carpets, the intrusive cameras, the fake dating, and organized kisses— look easy when their turn came to be the Hottest Fake Couple in Hollywood. And neither would offer up a clear answer.