2006(Kahar form5):
Aku termenung dekat dm tu. Kerja-kerja potong, masak dah habis. Tinggal tunggu budak-budak turun ja.
Kahar
Aku terfikir. Dia okay ke?
Masuk masa minum petang, berduyun-duyun budak datang ke dm. Mia dah standby sebelah aku dengan makanan yang disediakan. Disebabkan aku yang prepare makanan aku tak payah serve. "Weh aku keluar jap. Sebatang lu." Aku cakap kepada Mia yang hanya angguk sebagai jawapan.
Once I'm outside of the dm I reached for the cig box that was tucked into my pocket.
"Sayang." I heard a familiar voice said. Aku pusing dan Kahar berdiri betul-betul depan aku. "Jom, sebatang." Dia cakap. Aku anggukkan. Dia bawak aku ke belakang dewan. Spot jarang ada warden.
Aku hulurkan sebatang rokok dan keluarkan lighter aku dari kotak rokok. Kahar placed the cigarette between his lips and leaned towards me. I lit up the cigarette for him. He inhaled and sighed resulting the smoke to blow out.
I tried to light my cigarette but the lighter ran out of gas. "Setan." Aku merungut seorang diri, tangan masih cuba untuk nyalakan api dengan lighter yang aku tahu dah habis gas tu.
Kahar giggled and leaned forward, the already lighten up cigarette between his lips touched with mine that are still between my lips. I inhaled and greets the bitter sweet taste of the cigarette. Kahar leaned back against the wall . "Thank you." I told him.
He blew the smoke and smiled.
"Makan dah?" I asked him.
Dia geleng kepala.
"Napa? Sekeh kang." I half joked. I'm concerned for this boy. Kalau sayang mestilah risau kan?
He smiled and said that he's not hungry.
"Case jibam macam mana?" I asked him. Kahar is leaning against the wall while I'm just standing in front of him. "Case tu kena drop. Tak cukup bukti." He casually said whole reaching out to hold my free hand that isn't holding the cigarette.
Kahar is trying to play it cool but I know my man well. He's relieved. If kena tangkap then mesti ayah dia turun, mesti kena.
Aku angguk. Our intertwined hands are being swinged left and right by him. Aku biarkan ja dia.
"Ikut kitab high council, budak jibam tu kena pulau dan dorm mate dia kena roughing." Kahar informed me. "Keem tengah roughing bilik."
Aku terdiam. Memang aku tak masuk campur benda-benda ni.
Budak-budak STIA, setia pada kawan. Itu tradisi kita.
Kalau ada budak report kes, report ke kp. Kalau kp tangkap budak report, punishment ikut kesalahan.
Berapa kali dia report?
Tapi KUDRAT ni extreme sikit. Sikit je la. Sebab diorang memang ikut buku kitab tu.
"Ingat Kahar. Jangan salah pakai kuasa." I told him sincerely.
For a second there's a facial expression I've never seen directed towards me before. Annoyance. Tak puas hati.
Kahar looked down at our intertwined hands. Placing the cigarette between his lips again and inhaled.
He then looked back up at me, blowing the smoke and nodded.
"Ya." Dia jawab. Some of the extra smoke coming out of his nose.
Once we finished the cigarette we walked out together. Right when we're near the dm he let go of my hand. Weird.
I turned to look at him. Kahar's face changed. No more soft eyes and slight smile, it's been replaced with deadly eyes and scrunched eyebrows. His shoulders and tensed and he stood straight making him look bigger. Intimidation.
I trailed my eyes to where he's staring. It's the same boy from just now. "Budak phone?" I asked him and he nodded. He walked away without saying a word. Biarlah jantan tu nak merenung-renung.
"Hi praky." I greeted Prakash who was sitting at the bench alone. He's the only indian in the batch. Faham-faham la orang macam mana.
"Nak teh lagi?" I asked him and he shook his head. "Dah makan?" He asked me back. I nodded. We ended up talking to whole time during minum petang. It's prayer time and obviously it's Prakash's me time.
Prakash selalu datang gym waktu petang, dekat-dekat mahgrib. Dia datang workout lepastu sparring dengan Rahmat. Aku tahu dia masuk manifesto.
Kami ada jugak lepak bersama sekali-sekala.
About an hour after that Prakash excused himself to go back to his dorm. I nodded and walked towards mia. "Mia. Shift aku dah habis kan?" I asked her. Mia nodded and looked at me. "Kau nak jalan dah ke?" Aku angguk. Kalau ikut memang taknak tapi hari dah petang. Nanti malam mula lah kroni gym.
Malam tu aku dan Rahmat jaga lawan taruh dari tepi. Aku tak turun padang pon. Kahar ada mesej, katanya dia nak datang lewat. Dalam pukul 2 pagi.
Aku pun tunggu aja lah.
Aku kemaskan gym yang bersepah lepas lawan taruh. Lap-lap darah yang belum kering. Kirakan segala belanja bulanan. Rahmat dah clock out, tinggal aku ja dalam gym yang sunyi ni.
Berkali-kali aku tengok jam di dinding. Pukul 3 dah. Aku mesej Kahar tak berjawab. Call pon tak diangkat. Mungkin dia lambat sikit.
Aku sambung tengok kiraan budget. Mata aku dah berat tapi aku lawan rasa mengantuk tu. Demi dia.
Bila aku tengok balik jam, jam dah pukul 5:30. Tak mungkin.
Baru ja tadi pukul 3.
Aku angkat telefon, mungkin dia ada mesej.
Tak ada. Call aku pun dia tak balas.
I sighed and walked out of the office. Tinggalkan kunci dekat tempat yang aku tahu Rahmat boleh reach dari luar dan masuk balik tidur dalam office.
Malam tu senang sangat aku lelap. Mungkin sebab panas hati dan malas nak layan benda bodoh macam ni.
Esok pagi Rahmat yang gerak aku. Esok apa, baru sejam setengah aku tidur. Dengan segala mengantuknya aku naik motor ke sekolah.
Mia dah sediakan makan pagi. "Pahal kau lambat do." Mia merungut. Aku menghelakan nafas. "Sorry ah semalam aku tak leh tido." Aku tipu. Aku ganti tempat Mia, jaga makanan yang ada dekat depan. Kahar tak dapat dikesan.
"Hi y/n." Hakeem tegur aku dengan senyuman segar dipagi hari sebelum kelas. "Hi keem. Kawan kau mana?" Aku tanya dia.
"Malas makan dia kata. Terus pergi kelas, nak tidur la tu." Hakeem jawab sambil mengambil nasi lemak bungkus.
Aku mengangguk dan keluarkan telefon. Tak ada mesej baru.
Waktu rehat sampai. Aku teruskan serve budak-budak yang beratur.
"Bukak-bukak." Hakeem cakap sambil potong line. "Hi sayang." Kahar cakap sambil senyum. Pinggan yang dia pegang dihulurkan kepada aku.
I said nothing and hummed. Aku lepas concussion sepatutnya tak boleh tidur sikit. Sekuramg-kurangnya 1-2 minggu kena cukup tidur. Aku tahu semua tu tapi sebab dia aku berjaga.
Aku dah start sakit kepala.
Aku letakkan lauk dan nasi atas pinggan dia. Lepas habis, Kahar masih berdiri dihadapan aku. "Line panjang." Aku bagitahu dia. He hesitated but took the plate and walked away. Lama jugak aku paksa diri aku untuk tetap buat kerja. Lepas 10 minit macam tu sakit kepala tu bergabung dengan telinga yang berdesing. Mata aku dah kabur.
"Kau ok ke?" Mia tanya. Aku geleng. "Kepala aku pening." Aku cakap. Tangan masih membuat kerja. "Sini la." Mia replied and tried to take the senduk out of my hand but failed cause I kept clutching. Dah la datang lambat, tak functiom lak tu. Aku marah diri sendiri.
"Takpa aku buat." She reassured me. I nodded and walked to the kitchen. Basuh muka dekat sinki dan duduk sambil minum air kosong.
"Okay tak?" A voice asked. Aku tak bukak mata. Rasa pening tu masih melekat. "Sini." Kahar said and walked towards me.
Aku tepis tangan dia. "Kalau tak nak datang, cakap. Tak payah aku tunggu." I told him bitterly. I opened my eyes to see him a little taken back.
"Sorry sayang. Semalam punishment budak jibam t-"
"Ye pon tak boleh inform ke? Penting sangat benda tu dari aku?" Aku tanya dia balik. Dengan kepala pening, mata kabur, telinga berdesing. Aku memang semak.
"Bukan macam tu sayang, sorry saya lupa nak mesej awak." Kahar jawab masih lagi cuba untuk urutkan kepala aku. Aku diam sahaja. Lupa. Jarang dia lupa, lagi-lagi pasal kami.
Aku angguk. "Jangan ulang." Simply pesan. Biarkan Kahar urut kepala aku yang masih pening tu. "Kalau masih pening jangan paksa diri. Balik tau, sayang." Kahar bercakap dengan nada yang sayu. Dia nampak eyebag aku, dia tau aku tidur lambat. He connected the dots already. He's blaming himself.
Aku pegang pergelangan tangan dia and pulled it away from my head. "Balik kelas. Rehat dah nak habis." I told him.
Kahar sighed and held my hand. "Kalau pening, sakit kepala, balik. Okay?" Kahar asked me while lowering himself to look at me in the eyes. I nodded and agreed. "Dah pergi."
Kahar eventually left. The ringing of the bell makes my head hurts worse. A knock came from the kitchen's door. Sapa pulak ni.
"Here, akka." A voice said. Aku bukak mata aku, Prakash berdiri sambil hulurkan pain killer. Aku geleng. "Tak boleh. Takut relapse."
"Take one and I'll keep the rest. That way you have no way to misuse it." Prakash tried to argue. I sighed and think about it. The pain is too much. "Ok." I responded before taking the pills from him. Ignoring how my hands shake when I take the pills out. I handed all the balance back to him.
"Thanks praky. Balik kelas, rehat dah habis." I told him gently. Prakash nodded and left the kitchen. I lasted until 4 p.m. before deciding that I can't go on anymore. Rahmat can't pick me up because the it's peak gym time. I can't ride my own motorbike because I might genuinely crash.
I texted Kahar but he hasn't replied.
I heard a knock coming from the kitchen's door, hoping to God that it's Kahar.
"Feeling better?" The voice asked. I could feel someone standing in front of me. Mia is taking care of the front counter so it can't be her.
Aku geleng kepala and winced when I feel the sharp pain in my head.
"Have you called mamma (uncle)?" The voice asked. I peaked my eyes to look at the figure. Prakash. "He's busy. Peak gym time."
Prakash sighed and took my bag. "Naik motor kan? I'll send you home." He said while pulling me off the chair. Honestly, might as well. Kahar isn't responding and I genuinely need to go home.
"Gym, send to gym." I told him and he nodded. We made our way to my motorbike. Prakash was already on the bike, kicking the starter to start the motorbike.
"Oi." Satu suara sergah dari belakang. Menambah sakit kepala aku.
"Kau buat apa dengan awek aku, huh?!" Kahar yelled and took Prakash by his collar. "Hantar dia balik. Dia sakit." Prakash simply replied. "Aku ada kan? Tak payah biar aku yang hantar." Kahar said. "Sudah la, gila." I told him while taking his wrist in my hand.
"Aku mesej, kau tak reply. Kau busy jadi aku biarkan. Kau nak exam kan? Dah la benda simple ja yang nak gaduh ni pahal?" I asked him. Kahar looked at me. I could tell he's still angry.
"Dah Praky. Jalan." I told Prakash who was still standing in front of Kahar. He nodded and walked away.
The ride back to gym is quiet. I rested my head on his tensed shoulder. Once we're in the gym's garage Kahar stepped down from the motorbike and held me by my arm to support me.
A/n: sampai sini je aku larst geng. Aku baru habis lab, japgi ada kelas lak 🧎