There we are, sitting for a good moment as we stare at each other. Every second that passes by makes me raise an eyebrow at him. He only blinks his blue eyes at me.
I don't know, maybe I wasn't clear. "I'm sorry, did I perhaps stutter or was I not loud enough?"
"I heard you." He confirms, leaning back in his seat and that's all physical contact he was making, lost and now void. He groans, running his hands through his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose.
Maybe it's an ex? An ex of his who isn't over him, and I don't want to entertain it at all to be honest. I've got enough on my silver platter to worry about, and dealing with an ex of his is far from interesting for me.
"Look, I get it. You're a pretty boy and I'm sure you've had a colourful past with different girls. I don't judge you. But, on order for us—" I wiggle my finger between us as he lifts his eyes to look at me; "—to work, you have to deal with it accordingly. I don't want to deal with your exes as I am sure you'd rather not deal with mine. This makes sense, right?"
"Mate—"
"Don't worry, she didn't threaten me like that or something, she was just being... protective of you. I can understand that. But I refuse to argue or fight with a girl for the attention of a boy. You need to make things right with her. She obviously isn't on the same page as you."
Micah sits up straight, cracking his knuckles. His blue eyes, even if he glances at me for as good as a moment, linger with the familiar grey tone, and I think it's safe to say this happens when he isn't impressed about something. Besides, if I look close enough, he might actually seem frustrated or perhaps irritated at the topic of this new babe, Natasha. They clearly have a past, a history that either affect him or has affected her, of which in turn she probably vowed to ruin his life or something.
I can't blame her... I think. Micah is cute, it makes perfect sense that she'd try keep him.
"You don't have to worry about her."
"Oh, I don't plan to worry about her."
"She isn't even an ex of mine. She's just somebody who happens to be tied to me for reasons I wish we're not as complicated as they are now."
I tilt my head. "So uncomplicate them."
"I'll deal with her, don't worry about it." He sighs, leaning over to reach for my hand. Our fingers intertwine and darn those butterflies for even reacting to the simple things he does. "When can you come to my house?"
"To do what?" I raise an eyebrow.
"To chill." Now I know that silly smirk growing on his face indicates something more than he's letting out.
He things I'm stupid. I won't call for his tricks so easily. "Define chill."
"Like, hang out, eat. Watch movies... depends on what we're feeling."
I'm shaking my head slowly at him. Just the way he grins, the mischief swimming in the depths of his blue eyes. The way his fingers play with my own. He's up to no good and he is doing a bad job at hiding it.
I lick my lips. "Tell me, what do you see when you look at me?" He's quick to respond, but before he can utter a word, I lift my index finger up. "And be smart with your choice of words."
So, he licks his lips, nodding a bit before he takes in a deep breath. "A smart woman."
"Good. No, that's good. I think then, you've answered your question."
"You won't come to my house?"
"Considering you have other intentions outside of just chilling, no, I won't come to your house."
"Then I should come to yours—"
"Are you actually insane? What do you think my father would think, bringing a boy over? He'll think you're going to ask for my hand in marriage. He's old school and cultural like that. You're not coming to my house."
Micah sighs, running his unoccupied fingers through his hair that exposes his forehead for as good as a moment. "Well, I am deprived of physical contact. Holding hands doesn't cut it for me. Can we go somewhere more private?"
"Like where?"
"The bathroom, or an empty lecture room. The back of the library. The hill. We have options, mate."
"What do I have to do to get you to stop calling me that?"
"What, 'mate'?" He chuckles. "Well, nothing. I think it suits you. It's like a pet name but better, because I'm not calling you baby, or babe... or something like that."
"Yeah, but mate is weird as well."
"You'd rather me call you by your name?"
I tilt my head at the boy. "I mean, it's why I have a name."
"I don't care, I like 'mate' too much to let it go. It has so much meaning so I thought maybe you'd want me to call you it still."
"Still? I've never asked you to call me that."
"In your past life, you did." He grins as he teases, and the gets to his feet and pulls me up despite me being reluctant. "Let's go somewhere private—"
"Micah..." I roll my eyes at him with a soft sigh. "Look, I'm an appropriate person. I'm not one of those babes where you can pull me somewhere secretly and have your way. You know?"
"I know, and I'm not asking for you to do inappropriately appropriate things with me. I just really want to hold you the way I want to hold you, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in a public place like this." He wiggles his fingers around as emphasis, and I look around us.
True; we are in a public hall with people chattering and doing all the sorts. Micah needs to recharge his physical contact battery and I can presume the way he wants to do it isn't exactly... the greatest public display of affection.
Besides, we aren't even dating so it would draw unnecessary attention. I've got to speak to him about that as well.
I remove my hand from him and then gather my things. I pick up the empty plastic box and then look at him with a small pout. "If I do this, considering I agreed, then you have to do stuff for me."
"I'll do anything for you."
"Not everything, I can bet. But I have a few questions and I want answers. I do this for you, and you do that for me. Yes?"
He nods without hesitation. I then hum and then nudge my head so he follows me. As soon as we walk past the dustbin out the hall, I dump the empty container in before rubbing my fingers against the material of my dress.
He then leads us to where he deems is more quiet and private. At first I squint my eyes, thinking maybe he's taking us to the restroom, but then after we turn different corners, I realise he's taking me to the back of the school.
"This is how a person is murdered." I mutter under my breath, adjusting the strap of my bag as I follow him towards a bunch of trees stretching out away from the campus building.
Micah turns to glance at me over his shoulder. "I could never murder you."
"I'm just thinking out loud, firstly, and second, how is it that you can hear me? I didn't even hear myself speak."
"Wolves have great sense of hearing. Actually, all of our senses are quite good, along with our abilities. Great smell, so I don't have to look for you to know you're close by. Great hearing, best when we are in our wolf form, but still good when we are in human form. So I can selectively choose to listen carefully and hear what's taking place a good mile away. Great eyesight, except it's better when we are in our wolf form—"
"It's giving Little Red Riding Hood." I chuckle, walking faster when he slows down and stretches his hand out for me to hold. I'm fairly surprised I don't even hesitate to hold it. "'Oh, granny, what big eyes you have'. 'All the better to see you with—'."
"I don't have big eyes." Micah defends himself as he glared at me.
"Shh, that's not the point. You just said you have great eyesight. 'Granny, what big ears you have'. 'All the better to hear you with.'" I laugh at his sour expression. "'Granny, what a big nose you have'. 'All the better to smell you with, dear.' 'Granny, what big teeth you have.' I've seen your canines, they are quite sharp. I can understand having them in wolf form, but what are they for, in human form?"
Micah licks his lips, holding my hand tighter. "Nothing, really."
I blink at him a bit, noticing us heading further away from the campus and into the forest. "Well, the wolf in the story basically tells her that it's for him to eat her with. Did you know that the wolf dies at the end?"
"I heard."
"I don't have a saviour close by who can save me if you decide to kill me, Micah. Why are we far from campus? The bathrooms would have worked just fine."
Micah now smirks down at me. "All the better to keep you to myself." He even says it in a mocking old grandmother voice.
I scoff, shaking my head. "I'm laughing."
"Truthfully, there's a lovely lake here. I think this place is restricted but I've lingered her a few times before. It's quite peaceful. I wanted to share the spot with you, you know, since you've shared your spot with me on the hill."
Wow, I'm flattered. It's just a small spot I don't see people linger by, and even if it's kind of meaningful for me, I didn't think he'd take me or the spot so seriously that he feels it's necessary share his spot with me. I feel honoured, flattered even, and I squeeze my hand in his.
"You come here often?"
"Once a while. Before, yeah, I came here often but now it's once a while." He points at the tall thick blades of grass. "It's on the other side. Just be mindful, spider webs—"
"Spider webs?"
"You're afraid of spider webs, I know." He waves his hand. "Bring your bag, I'll carry it for you."
I can't complain. I immediately slip off my bag and hand it to him. He then slings it over his shoulder and adjusts the straps nicely to his liking.
I think he is generalising; many people are afraid of spider webs, so it makes perfect sense.
"Spiders won't crawl up my legs, Micah?" I glance at the grass.
"I'll carry you through, so no. Come."
I take a step back and raise an eyebrow at his cheeky smile. "Ahm, note the dress. You're not carrying me in front of you."
"I won't put my hands under your dress, mate. Trust me." He takes a step closer, but I immediately shake my head and cross my arms. "Gertrude."
"No, Micah. You can carry me on your back."
"I'm carrying your bag on my back—"
"Then bring it back and I'll carry it. I'm not climbing you, boy."
He sighs in great disappointment before adjusting my bag so the body of it is to his front. He then rolls his eyes and turns around, bending slightly to make it easier for me to get on... considering our height.
I then hum in relief and then stand behind him. I place both hands on his shoulders and then raise one leg up to his hip, of which he locks with his hand under my knee. Then, I climb on him and he hooks his other hand under my other knee. My one forearm wraps loosely around his neck as the other goes to hold the hem of my dress so it doesn't reveal anything under me.
Of course no one could see, but I mean I don't want to flash to bugs either.
He then walks towards the blades of grass. They reach roughly around his knees. I even feel the slight weight of them on my shoes when I slightly swing my legs.
"You used to come here by yourself, I'm guessing?"
"No." He shakes his head. I lean in a bit, pressing myself against his back to hear him better. "I actually never found this place. Somebody else at that time did."
"Oh? And how did they find it?"
"Something about they were strolling the forest and came across this place." He answers back, shifting my weight higher up his back and raising my hands a bit so they are under my thighs this time.
I hum, now resting my chin against his shoulder, looking ahead of us. Not too far, actually really close by, I see glimmering water under the sun light. I also see green grass stretching wide. I see neighbouring trees, but not thick and as high as the forest trees. I actually hum at the beauty we are approaching.
"Who was the person? And... where are they now?"
Micah takes his time to respond. He continues taking a few steps closer. "That person... was somebody I guess I used to know. It's complicated."
"An ex, I guess."
"Something like that."
"But isn't it weird that you still come here when she was the one who showed you this place?"
He chuckles now. "She doesn't come here anymore, I'm certain of it. So, no, it's not weird."
When we do reach the place, he comes to a stop and bends his height, letting me gently stand on the grass. Once I do, I remove myself from him and glance around.
Now, myself and nature aren't always on the best terms, but this is beautiful. This screams beauty of nature, and I could stay here the whole day if needs be. The grass looks fresh, new, almost. The lake — it's kind of a mini river but lake works too — has such a melodic way of moving from the left to the right, and I wonder if there's a stream nearby or a small waterfall of some sort. There are a bunch of flowers here and there, bright in colour too.
"That ex of yours has a good eye for nature, hmm?"
"She loved nature."
I glance at him, watching as he mindlessly glances around with a small frown. I don't know what he's thinking, but clearly it has to do with old memories of this place. Just the way his eyes linger about, and how his hands clench up.
I wonder if he recalls bad memories about this place.
"So... you wanted us to come here? To do what?" I adjust my dress.
"To... enjoy each other's company." He turns to glance at me. "You don't mind sitting on the grass, yes?"
"I guess, but I'll get itchy." I motion at my bare legs. "But that's fine. Where should we sit?"
He leads us to a particular spot close to the lake. Close enough to hear the water but far enough where the grass isn't wet. He is the first to kneel down and touch the grass, humming in approval before he removes my bag and places it down.
"Perhaps you should sit on my lap to avoid being itchy."
"I'd rather not—"
"I wasn't asking, mate. It's for the both of us. You don't get itchy, I get my physical contact. It's a win win." He smirks and sits down, legs stretched out wide so I have to eye him and fold my arms. "Come on." He taps on his thigh.
"You're ridiculous. I'm not sitting on your lap, Micah."
The boy looks up at me, squinting the one eye shut and scrunching his nose due to the sunlight on his face. "You said you had questions, not? How else will you get your answers?"
"This is not some exchange thing where I sit on you for answers. I deserve answers considering I agreed to be part of your fantasy world—"
"Fantasy world that very much exists, as you've seen. Quit being stubborn. I won't make advances, I give you my word, but I'm dying for physical contact— willingly given to me with purposeful intention, so all I ask is for you to sit on my lap. Heck, you can sit on my feet if it makes you feel comfortable but I doubt it will."
I sigh a bit, lifting my fingers to scratch my scalp a bit. This boy and his manoeuvring ways, honestly. Had I known he'd basically trap me into sitting on his lap in an area far from school, I'd have convinced him to rather get his piece of physical contact in front of those students.
I feel like we're crossing many boundaries and we haven't exactly established them.
"I never got to tell you what my boundaries are. My limits." I mutter. "What if this is crossing one of them?"
Micah lowers his eyes to the ground for a bit. He sighs softly and then runs both hands through his hair. "Would you rather we just stand? You won't get tired quickly?"
"I'll be more comfortable, I think."
"Okay." He gets to his feet, lightly dusting off his pants before he steps closer to me. "Just so you know, I prefer proper physical contact, as in skin on skin."
"What are you proposing?"
"Wear looser, easier access type of clothing."
I scoff, shaking my head when he comes closer and lifts my hands higher to indicate his desire for them on his shoulders. "Stop dreaming. I don't dress to impress you."
"You can undress to impress me, if you really want to impress me." He grins down at me, bending slightly so his hands wrap around my waist.
I hate how he's looking at me like I mean the world to him. His dilated eyes literally refuse to look anywhere else but me. His hands burn against the material of my dress, that my body lightly shivers at it.
Those butterflies.
"Been there with the ex, done that with the ex and it's not all that, in my opinion. It's not happening, Micah."
He huffs, and then literally embraces me against him in what I could say is a death hug type of embrace. Any tighter and I'm restricted of air. My lungs won't expand the way they are supposed to.
"Oh— that's a little too tight—"
"I'll loosen up just now." He sighs in content as he literally stuffs his face in the trapezius of my neck. This is on the left side, which I am thankful for considering it's not where that spot is that beings about tingling, buzzing sensations in my body.
I literally hear him sniff me, to which I try leaning back from but considering the confinement of his arms, I technically don't go anywhere. His hands almost grip my dress, the way they hold me tightly, and it's almost like he fears me running away they way his hold is tight.
So there I am, rubbing his shoulders lightly as he recharges his battery — this is how I like to see it — and my chin rests on his own shoulder. My eyes blink up at the sky, and then the tall trees I can see. It's as much as I can see considering his height, and plus I am standing on my toes but it feels like I'm slightly levitating because of his hold.
I'm sure to any by-passer, we look like an ordinary couple hugging each other as if the one is about to leave for the next country and will only be back months later, if not years later. Except I can presume there won't be any by-passers, and it's just us, and nature is our witness.
I don't know, I feel small in his embrace, and I don't know of that's intentional or if it's just because of our heigh difference. Besides, Micah is young but he isn't skinny and small and tall. He's lean, and considering I now know he trains, maybe building muscle to maintain the strength of his wolf is required.
I don't know what other shapeshifter I can compare him to, so I guess I'll just have to prove my theory at a later stage— oh wait, there's Natasha. The grey wolf that attacked me, and then her human form.
She seemed... fit. Athletic but also not? Kind of tall, lean, but not skinny. She's part of his pack, and clearly something more to Micah, so it makes sense as well that she also does training in her wolf form that has a great impact on her human form.
I shouldn't even be thinking about her. I've been down this route. First it's what she can do, then it's what I can't, and then it's what she has that I don't. I start making comparisons and then I feel like crap all whilst I glorify the pretty being she is.
She isn't my responsibility or my competition — there is no competition between her and I.
Besides, sucks for her since I have Micah.
With that thought, I find myself tightening my hold on Micah in a way that comes off possessive, almost. It's almost like she's somewhere lurking, watching us, and mentally, I'm left wanting to respond to that. I want her to see me in his arms, and that he chose me. My hands squeeze to fists and my arms tighten. Heck, subconsciously, my face is hidden in his very own neck with my eyes squeeze shut, and despite standing on my toes, I find the willpower to lift myself higher.
I'm competing with the idea of Natasha. I'm thinking about Banele, how he'd react if he ever saw me being embraced and held like this by another guy, meanwhile he had the opportunity to do this and he failed. He left me at a party on New Year's. Almost three months later, I'm embracing another boy like my life depends on it when it doesn't.
Why?
Micah, perhaps feeling the sudden shift within me, takes it upon himself to hold me tighter as well, and I don't care that I find it harder to breathe. His hands aren't in fists; I can feel the very tips of his fingers pressed against me. I feel so small against him, even when I'm average size, and I adore the feeling.
I think I just heard him take an inhale of my neck.
"So, when are you planning on making things official?"