This is a repost bc I felt the original sucked so much a$$ also new and perfect cover goes to bae bieberella.
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"...why did I feel abandoned when I just met him?"
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Waking up to a pounding headache, a churning stomach, an beads of sweat falling down my face was not something I expected to happen on this morning. The chills and body aches still happened on and off in my body ever since the alcohol poisoning that occurred a little over two weeks ago. With the nightmare that happened just moments ago, the state I woke up in wasn't helping me at all.
The nightmares have been occurring to me a lot lately. They were like a never ending movie that happened every time I closed my eyes. I was a big fan of horror movies, but the nightmares I was not a fan of at all. I guess you experience things differently when you're actually apart of them. In these nightmares I was the white girl who ran as fast as she possibly could run away from the killer who always managed to still be right behind you. It wasn't a great experience. Then again I was never good with nightmares and I don't think I will ever become friends with them.
These nightmares felt so different from when I was a little girl, however. They felt so real that sometimes I would be scared that I wouldn't ever wake up from them and I would have to live the rest of my life running from the monster always behind my back. I was scared that one day I would open my eyes expecting to be home in my bed, but I wouldn't be. I would be laying in a dark alley in a torn up dress, looking up to find the boy with red eyes just staring down at me with so much hunger in his eyes. But I didn't want that to happen.
I shook away all the negative thoughts, reaching over to my bedside table grabbing my phone. I unlocked it squinting my eyes as the bright light of my phone hit my eyes causing me to lose sight for just a few seconds. Seeing that it was 6:03AM I groaned knowing that I wouldn't be able to get anymore sleep. Today I had to follow my mother's direct orders and go back to school.
Groaning, I threw my heavy blankets off of my body and hopped out my bed. I walked over to my bedroom curtains, pulling them over and instantly screeching when the sunlight hit my eyes. I should just learn to keep these curtains open, but ever since I haven't been back to school it had become my thing.
I walked over to my bathroom doing my usual morning routine of using the toilet, taking a long twenty minute shower and brushing my teeth. After standing for about two minutes wrapped around in a towel I decided to take some Advil tablets to help tame the throbbing and the chills from my nightmare. I knew that the symptoms of alcohol poisoning would at least keep me hostage for another week, so I kept a bottle of painkillers in random places so I would never have to be in pain for too long.
After swallowing four tablets, I looked in the mirror beginning to scan my reflection as I combed through my hair with my fingers. A few minutes passed by as I tried my best to get the wet tangles out of my hair and I hesitated as a thought crossed my mind. I was getting wickedly tired of my natural hair color. Since I was young my hair has been this beautiful blonde-gold color and always so healthy. My mother and father would never let me do anything to it so that it wouldn't get damaged. But ever since I've turned 18 I've been thinking of maybe dying my hair a darker color. I always felt a bit out of place in my household with my mother and sister both having long dark hair. I got my hair from my father and with him never being around, it didn't really matter that I received a gene from him. But, as I brushed my fingers through my thick hair one last time, I decided that it was time for a change.
I walked back into my bedroom and over to my closet. Pushing through the doors I walked in and straight to my rack of clothes filled with endless uniform options for school. I pulled out a white polo from the hanger and dropped my towel to the floor and was about to pull the shirt on when I remembered I forgot to get my undergarments. Shaking my head in laughter, I walked over to a tiny dresser in the corner pulling out a Calvin Klein bra and panties putting them on before placing the white polo on over. I then grabbed a red cardigan draping it over my body, my usual school skirt and decided against wearing heels to school today. I was scared that I might end up getting light headed and fall flat on my face. So shaking my head I pulled a pair of jet black ballet flats off my shoe rack.
After being completely dressed, I grabbed my phone from my bed seeing that it was now 7:15AM and I still had plenty of time to do my hair and usual makeup. I walked over to my body mirror starting to fiddle with my hair. I decided against going with my usual half up half down look and decided to put my hair up into a bun. I combed my hair upwards with a hair brush pulling into the shape of a bun, using a nude color hair tie to keep it in place. After finishing with my hair I put on my usual makeup and sighed once I realized I would have to finally make an appearance downstairs.
Looking at my phone my eyes bulged as I noticed I only had fifteen minutes to get to school or else I would be late. I don't think my mother would be happy with me if I was late on my first day back, so I quickly gathered up all of my belongings, rushing out of my bedroom and into the kitchen to find Bella sitting on a stool scrolling through her instagram feed.
"C'mon Bella," I spoke, running over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water, before turning around to witness her rolling her eyes. "I mean it, we can't be late, let's go."
"Whatever." Bella mumbled, getting up from her seat and swinging her bag around her shoulder.
I rolled my eyes at her sudden bold attitude, walking out of our big house and getting into my car. I put the keys into the ignition and started to back out of the driveway when I noticed that Bella still wasn't here. Rolling my eyes, I looked out the rearview mirror seeing her walking down the pathway, still typing away on her phone with an attitude visible on her features.
"What are you doing, let's go!" I yelled out of the window getting fed up with her attitude, as she approached the door, opening it and plopping herself down on the passenger seat before slamming the door shut.
"I'm here can we go now?" She asked, giving me a nasty look before turning her head towards the window.
"I don't know what crawled up your ass this morning, but you could stop taking it out on me." I retorted, rolling my eyes as I started to drive to school.
Most of the drive to school was silent. The silent hum of the radio lingered in the air as it suddenly became too tense. It wasn't just because Bella had this sudden attitude towards me, it was because I was getting closer and closer to school. A place I hadn't been to in two weeks. Lord knows how much rumors have been passed around about me and why my absence was occurring. I knew that as soon as I pulled into my parking spot and got out of my car, all eyes would be on me. I wasn't very comfortable under the public all staring me down at once and I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up vomiting all over everyone I passed by.
And just as I pulled into the school parking lot it happened. As I drove as slow as the speed limit would allow, it was as if all time had slowed down and eyes were on me. It wasn't even Bella whose eyes they were on, it was me. I could feel my chest start to tighten around me and I looked over at Bella, worry taking over my features.
"This is why I was angry," Bella suddenly spoke as I slowed down and parked into a parking spot. "ever since you've been gone I've been asked so many questions. Now that you're back, I'll get even more."
"It's not any of their concern," I gulped, taking my keys out of the ignition. "and if any of them say something to you, tell them to talk to me."
Bella nodded her head before opening up the car door, slamming it shut behind her. I could hear the sound of the first bell sounding off in the distance causing me to take a deep inhale of breath. I could do this. I was already a popular face in the sea of this student body so I shouldn't be acting this....anxious. But as I stepped out of my car, locking it behind me, and saw those familiar brown eyes looking at me as he entered the school, I knew that I wasn't anxious of the people, I was anxious to see Justin Bieber.
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"Oh my god, I missed you so much." A voice screeched from behind me, before two arms wrapped around my body squeezing me as tight as possible.
"Can't. Breath." I said, gasping for air just as the person let me go, causing me to wobble back into balance.
"I'm so sorry. I just feel like I haven't talked to you in forever." Cierra said, pouting as she wrapped her arms slightly around her shoulders.
"I know," I pouted back. "I'm so sorry C. I've just been so sick these past weeks. I've barely kept in contact with any of you. I feel so bad."
"Aw, don't boo. I know you were sick. I was thinking of coming over and bringing you some of that chicken soup my mama made me when I had the flu, but I decided not to because I didn't wanna get sick."
"You wouldn't have," I chuckled, slamming my locker shut and beginning to walk with her down the hall. "It was alcohol poisoning. Not contagious at all."
"Alcohol poisoning?" Cierra asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "I thought you didn't drink."
"I don't," I said. "But remember that day I left school with Justin?"
"Me and the entire school, yes." She joked, wiggling her eyebrows causing me to giggle.
"Okay, well, we hung out, obviously. But the entire time he planned on taking me to a club. I was so scared, but when he looked me in my eyes I felt this....this urge to let loose. I don't know what got into me. It's like his eyes just put me in a trance and I couldn't say no." I explained just as we entered AP Calculus.
"That's.... wow." Cierra said, setting her bags down as we both took a seat.
"I know." I groaned, putting my head down on the desk.
"Maybe you like him." She said, causing me to furrow my eyebrows.
"I couldn't." I shook my head.
"Why not?"
"I just met him. How could I like someone who I just met literally like two months ago." I stated, just as the teacher entered the classroom slamming the door shut behind her.
"It doesn't take years to fall for someone, Victoria. Love doesn't have a time span to occur. It happens when it happens. And to make my point clear, you fell for Simon in under a month." She said, beginning to copy down the agenda for the day.
"Exactly and you see where that led. He cheated on me. I don't ever wanna put myself in a situation like that again." I said.
"Then don't. Not every boy in this entire world is like Simon. In fact, most are better." She retorted.
"I know that," I sighed, grabbing my book out of my bag. "but I don't wanna risk it."
"You're annoying." Cierra said, rolling her eyes.
"How so?" I scoffed, stopping my writing and looking toward Cierra.
"Because you're locking yourself away from a world of adventure. Ever since Simon came into your world and knocked every fiber of your being out you've become such a prude. I know he broke your heart, but that was so long ago. It's time to let the past go, Victoria. Not everyone is like that fucking light skin dick of an ex you had and you need to get that through your thick skull. You don't even know Justin that well either, so how do you know he's like Simon."
I looked at Cierra, my mouth hung wide open at the words that slipped out. Ever since I had met her she was never so....open with me. She was wild yes, but was the type to never let the truth slip out of mouth. She turned toward the teacher, letting her hair fall over her face as she listened to the teacher's lesson, but I was just staring.
It wasn't really anything she said to me, or anything she did, it was what I did. She was right. I had been letting Simon haunt me for the past year and it was time to let go. It was time to let myself be set free from his wrong doings. I couldn't let the weight of betrayal fall on my shoulders anymore. I was going to let go.
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The final bell of the day sounded through the school, sending chaos to sound through the halls and the kids from my class to jump from their seats, hurriedly to the hallway. All except for the boy who sat directly next to me, slowly packing his things away as he kept no direct eye contact with me.
I turned toward Mr. Lavish only to see that he was talking on the phone, exiting the classroom. It was in that moment that the air suddenly became hot and my mouth became dry. Words wanted so badly to escape my mouth but every time I opened it to say something, I choked.
"Keep that mouth closed princess, or else it could be used for something useful." Justin suddenly said, picking his bag up from the floor and standing up.
I gulped, pulling the strap to my purse even closer to my body as my eyes scanned every inch of the room as Justin walked slowly towards me. I tried to keep my gaze anywhere but his, but when his finger was suddenly under my chin pulling my gaze towards his, I found it hard to look away from his perfect eyes.
"I'm not that type of girl." I chirped, answering his remark that he made earlier. I didn't know why I all of a sudden answered, but it was the only words that I let escape my lips.
"I could make you that type, baby girl." He smirked, pushing a piece of loose hair out of my eyes and placing it behind my ear.
"I'd rather you not." I spoke, watching his hand as it moved back into it's rightful place on the side of his body.
He looked at me as my words washed through him, the smirk slowly starting to drift away from his lips. It was silent in the room for a couple minutes as we just stood there, searching each others eyes, the tension slowly starting to become unbearable. It was only a matter of seconds before my hormones started to control me and I'd pounce him and cover every inch of his body with kisses.
But when he suddenly coughed, shaking his head and backed away from me my whole world suddenly became confused.
"I take that back," He suddenly spoke, backing slowly towards the door.
"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brows together an watching as he neared the door.
"I'm not good for you, Tori. You shouldn't be seen with me. As much as I want to be seen with you and how attracted I am to you, I can't. So this will be the last time we will speak. I'm too bad for you. You're too good for me. I'm sorry." He said, opening the classroom door and walking out.
I didn't know what to feel. Was I supposed to feel confused? Angry? Sad? I didn't know what to feel but I wondered. I wondered why Justin said those words to me. I wondered if he was really attracted to me. I wondered why he suddenly felt the need to leave. I wondered why he said he was bad? But most of all, I wondered....
why did I feel abandoned when I just met him?
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Follow victoria and justin on instagram and me lmao.
AND CAN ANYONE MAKE ME A COVER FOR THIS STORY
victoriaarello
justinbieberlmh
kidrauhlsalien