it never occurred to me how life could be unfair. it was cruel however, landing that blow on me when i believed in it proudly.
never have i thought of the day we-
it all started with a phone call. the next thing I knew, my hands were trembling as I sought to reach for the pills in my pocket.
anti-depressants.
"he's dead." was what i heard before everything came crashing down on me. then instantly it hit me - the text messages and calls in the middle of the night.
he had run away from home and had nowhere to go just a week ago. crashing at my place for a day or two, he then told me that he would return. however, no news from him ever returned. being the stupid guy i was, i didn't bother, thinking that he just didn't want to be contacted for a while.
i never bothered.
"it was an accident," they said. tears flooded my eyes soon after at the possibility of him still alive if i had cared.
if i had cared enough to see him hurting.
seating on the wooden tiles, i tucked my knees to my chest as i continued my sobs. what if-?
no; no "what if"s.
if I wasn't careless then, maybe he would have still been by my side and laughing at my lame attempts in cheering him up right now.
Jeon Jungkook, are you finally happy?