I can't describe it to you
The way I'm feeling
Right now
I'm still going to try
Because this is the only way
I know how
...
I've used metaphors before
Whether it's the ocean or glass
But I can't mold this feeling
It's not familiar to me
My first ex
There's a lot I could say
I've written those words
I've healed that pain
You both cheated on me
Yet this pain is separate
When he cheated on me
I came to terms with it
This time I find it unexplainable
You never had good intention
Though you would claim otherwise
I've seen you lie without reason
It hurts me to know
That someone can act so normal
That you acted so normal
Despite knowing
It makes me feel disposable
Like I never mattered in your eyes
And that just breaks my fucking heart
Because you let me fall... big time
You'll never understand
What you did to me
Because you just don't care
I was just another body
I've grown as a person
I've learned from my past
I thought that was progress
I thought I could see clearly
This version of me
The one that lets guys like you into my life
That woman is gone forever
A mere ripple in time
I refuse to be treated like that again
Like I'm not good enough
Like it's okay to treat me poorly
Like I won't stand up
My real man will understand me
He wouldn't consider repeating my past
He will prove that this was worth it
That pain doesn't have to last