Callie Lawrence
"Are you sure it's a good idea to go over there?"
I pull my eyes away from the device in my hands, glancing at my best friend exiting her bedroom in only her panties. I take her in before my brain reminds me that she asked a question. I let out a breath, knowing exactly what she was referring to. I'd been talking about it all week. "Why wouldn't it be?" I question, shrugging my shoulders.
The raven-haired woman eyes me as she uses her black and white checkered towel to dry her wet tresses. "I mean... it's been what— 20 years since you last saw them," she mutters stepping into the kitchen with me.
Rolling my eyes, I set my phone on the counter. "16 years and you know I had no control over that decision. But I'm an adult now and I would like to see them again," I mutter, feeling nothing but guilt and regret for what happened so many years ago.
Melani raises her brows and glances away, not bothering to reply as she opens the fridge. Sighing, I keep my eyes on her, wondering if it was a bad idea. Biting my cheek, I let out a breath.
"I'm not saying it's a bad idea, Callie. I just hope you're not expecting to jump right back in like nothing ever happened. Logan is 20 now and if we're being honest, she's more than likely not going to take your sudden reentry into her life lightly. You were supposed to be her mother and you left."
I can't help but clench my jaw, knowing she was right. "But," she trails, turning back to me with a bottle of water in her hand. Her brown eyes land on me softly. "I encourage you to go. Otherwise, you'll just add another regret to the list."
Smiling, I nod my head in agreement. I had enough things to regret in my life. I didn't want to add another one either. I'm too old to have regrets and feel guilty about the decisions I made when I was younger.
Clearing my throat, I grab my phone from the counter. "Well, I'm gonna be heading to San Diego," I inform, making my way to the couch to retrieve my purse. "Do you need anything before I go? I don't know how long I'll be gone," I mutter.
The Hispanic woman hums before speaking up. "No. I probably won't be home either."
I shake my head, not at all surprised. When is she ever home for more than an hour? It's become routine for her to be gone most days. Letting out a small chuckle, I grab my keys from the purse.
"Alright then, if you do bring someone home please keep it in your bedroom. I don't want to have another incident like last time," I mutter, vividly remembering her between the legs of some blonde on the kitchen counter.
I watch the woman laugh as she nods her head. We share a few more words before I take my leave. Inhaling and exhaling, I can't help but feel nervous about my decision today.
How does someone even walk back into the life of someone they left behind? Even if I was forced to leave, the matter remains that I did. And I never gave an explanation, never called or texted. But then again my parents would've made my life a living hell if I didn't.
Letting out a breath, I step into the elevator and quickly press the button for the parking garage. I grab my phone from my purse and check the time, calculating how long I had until I would get there. I can't help but let out another breath, anticipating the day.
What if I get there and no one wants to let me in? What if Phoebe and Evan tell me off? What if Jamie hates me?
The sound of the elevator dinging, pulled me from my thoughts as the doors opened on the 4th floor, allowing another woman to step into the enclosed space with me. We share a small smile, having seen each other before as she glances at the buttons, noticing I have already pressed the one she needed.
Once I get into the parking garage, I grab my keys from my purse and make my way to my car. Unlocking the door, I climb inside and set my purse down in the passenger seat as I place my mobile device in the phone holder hanging from my vent.
I pull up the address and sit back as the GPS pulls up. "Just get it over with, Carmella," I mutter to myself as I stare at my reflection in the rearview mirror. If anything, I needed to explain myself to them even if they wouldn't let me back into their lives. I didn't deserve to be forgiven so quickly and easily.
Clenching my jaw, I start the engine and put on my seatbelt before exiting the parking garage and heading for the freeway, knowing this was going to be a long day.
Usually, a ride from Los Angeles to San Diego is about 2 hours no more than 3. However, traffic proved my GPS incorrect as I spent almost four and a half hours in traffic for a two-hour drive. To say my body ached was a complete understatement, but I was happy to finally be out of traffic. Now getting to the O'Brien's home would only take about 10 minutes and that, I was glad for.
Despite having light music play for background noise, I almost forgot it was on because of how long I spent in traffic. Letting out a breath, I glance at my phone again, realizing I was about to pass up my turn.
Fortunately, this time, I didn't spend twice the amount of time getting to my destination as I did when I was on the freeway. I made it there quicker than I had anticipated. I park on the curb and inhale.
Letting out a breath, I stare at the familiar home I spent most of my adolescent years. Though I was extremely anxious about how things were about to go, I couldn't help but feel at home being here. Which was funny as I hadn't been here in 16 years.
I notice two unfamiliar vehicles in the driveway causing me to frown. I really hope their address hasn't changed. It wouldn't only have been embarrassing coming all this way but it would've also been a waste of my time and gas. And gas is not cheap in California.
I shake my head, letting whatever doubt I have left my mind as I grab my phone and purse, and exit the car. I swallow the lump in my throat as I stare at the dark grey door before making my way to the home.
Nervously, I lift my hand and ring the doorbell placed on the wall beside the door. Biting my cheek, I glance back at my car on the curb as I wait impatiently for someone to open the door.
Laughter is heard on the other side of the door, grabbing my attention away from the neighborhood scenery. My eyes land on the lock as I hear them being unlocked from the other side. After what feels like forever, the door opens revealing a young woman... one I wasn't sure I knew.
My gaze meets hers and my heart stops in my chest as her bluish-green eyes met my own. I can't help but stare at the woman in awe. My eyes move from one feature to the next, studying her face and admiring her beauty.
Her tan skin, glowing from the sun's rays to her long smooth and silky brown hair. I found it impossible to take my eyes away from the vixen. I part and lick my lips as my eyes land on her rosy full lips, daring me to step forward and capture her lips with my own.
I had never witnessed beauty like hers. I shift my weight uneasily as I feel a sudden throbbing between my legs the longer I stare at the woman.
Feeling awkward she clears her throat and speaks up. "Who— How may I help you?" she questions, pulling me out of my own little world.
Clearing my throat, I glance down at my feet, feeling embarrassed for staring at her for so long. "Sorry... I was looking for Phoebe and Evan O'Brien. Do they still live here?" I question, picking my head back up. The air is knocked from my lungs as my gaze meets hers once more.
She eyes me for a few seconds, this time it was her turn to take me in as well. I could see her irises move between each feature as she bit her lip before nodding her head slowly. "Yeah, they do. They're out in the backyard. I'll go get them," she mutters, her voice euphonious and intoxicating.
Smiling softly, I nod my head, subconsciously telling her to take her time.
She eyes me again before leaving the door and heading back into the home, leaving the door open. I glance into the home, wondering if she was inviting me inside. But I decide to stay out as she hadn't verbally allowed me inside.
Sighing, I bite my lip. Who is she? I couldn't help but frown as I think about Jamie. It would be disappointing if she was his girlfriend or wife. I can't help but feel jealous at the thought.
I'm brought from my thoughts again as I hear voices heading my way. "Did you ask who she was?" A masculine voice gets closer to the door. I could hear the woman from earlier speaking.
"Uh— No. I was... distracted," she mutters softly.
The door widens, revealing three faces. The woman from earlier glances at me before parting ways, leaving two familiar faces with me. I can't help but smile softly as I glance at the older man and woman standing in front of me.
"Is there something we can help you with dear?" the woman questions, eyeing me. My smile widens as I let out a breath, a sense of happiness washing over me. Though neither recognized me, I couldn't help but feel at home standing in front of them. "Aunt Phoebe, it's been so long," I mutter.
Her salt-and-pepper eyebrows raise as she eyes me. Uncle Evan frowns beside her as he pulls his wife back protectively. "Who are you?" he questions, brows knitting together in confusion.
I glance at him, "Callie Lawrence, or as you used to love calling me Carmella Jean!" I mutter, suddenly remembering spending the night here with Melani and Jamie. The good ol' days.
Uncle Evan's brows raise as he and Aunt Phoebe stare at me in disbelief. "Carmella? As in Lawrence? Carmella Lawrence?" Aunt Phoebe questions as she places her hand on her chest. Almost immediately her perplexed expression is switched to one of happiness.
To my surprise, she isn't the first one to pull me into a warm embrace. I smile softly as I wrap my arms around Uncle Evan, realizing this is what I had been missing for 16 years. This. Them. Home.
Once the two hug me, I'm pulled into the home. Aunt Phoebe pulls me into the living room, sitting me down as she heads into the kitchen as she always did when we were younger. "It's so good to see you again. We hadn't heard from you since you left, we were worried about you," Uncle Evan mutters, sitting in the recliner chair.
Frowning, I nod my head. "I'm sorry that I left so abruptly."
Evan shakes his head. "It's okay. You may not have wanted to tell us but I knew your parents were dictating your life. I know you had no control over what happened all those years ago. But all that matters is that you're back," he smiles softly.
Aunt Phoebe comes back to us with a glass of her homemade lemonade that I fell in love with 30 years ago. Smiling, I take the glass from her hand and immediately take a sip, feeling rejuvenated as the cold liquid flows down my throat. "How are you? How have you been?" the older woman questions as she sits beside me.
I set the glass down and begin telling them how life had been for me for the past few years. We talk and talk and talk until the sound of the front door opening grabs our attention away from each other. I had been anticipating meeting Logan again. So when I heard the door open all I could think about was her.
I wondered what she looked like, how tall she was, if she was sweet like her father... the questions swarmed in my head and they wouldn't go away until they were answered.
But as the person steps around the wall, I can't help but frown in disappointment as I spot my ex-boyfriend. He looked the same but older. Dressed in that dirty navy blue coveralls. Well, I see he's been working at the same place since I left. It's as if nothing has changed with him.
He kicks his shoes off before his bluish-green eyes land on the three of us before they linger a little too long on me. He frowns. "I didn't know you'd have company coming over. Had I known, I would've made a better entrance," he mutters to his aunt and uncle. He offers me a small smile as he sets a package on the table.
My brows raise as I eye him. He sounds older. "Jamie! You won't believe who this is," Aunt Phoebe muttered with excitement. I clench my jaw as the man and I continue to hold eye contact. It felt so weird to see him in the flesh like this. I felt as though I was invading his home space.
"Oh, yeah?" he mutters, finally pulling his eyes away from me as they land on the older woman beside me. "It's Callie! Your first love. She's gotten more beautiful hasn't she?" Aunt Phoebe spits.
I watch as Jamie's eyes widen a little in disbelief before he moves his gaze to me. I smile softly as I shyly tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. I stand and make my way over to him, wondering if I should hug him or shake his hand.
He sighs, unsure of what to say as he keeps his eyes on me.
Before either of us could get a word out the brunette from earlier comes down the hallway with a blonde boy behind her. Her eyes land on me first before moving to the man in front of me. "Dad, you still haven't sent the payment to Ms. Richars," the woman mutters.
I can't help but choke on my spit as the first word of her sentence is replayed over and over in my head. Did she just say, Dad!?
Jamie sighs once again as he glances back at the young woman. He parts his lips before his mouth closes. It takes him a long few seconds to get himself together before he's finally able to speak up.
"Was he in your room?" he questions, completely ignoring her initial statement. Blue eyes glance back at us as he blushes softly. He leans into the brunette's ear, whispering something to her before kissing her cheek and leaving the home.
Though the conversation had changed minutes ago, I still couldn't believe that this was Logan. She didn't look like my Logan. No, in fact, she looked like someone I wouldn't mind spending a romantic night with.
I can't help but chuckle at myself in disgust. To think the woman I found attractive was none other than my stepdaughter made me feel nasty. But I couldn't deny that I was attracted to her.
My attention is pulled away from my thoughts as I notice Logan much closer now. Her bluish-green eyes much similar to her father's were on me. God, to think Logan would grow up to be such a beautiful woman isn't exactly surprising. But I never thought I'd find myself attracted to the child I used to raise as my own.
Clenching my jaw, I force my gaze away from the woman. "Logan... you remember Callie, right?" Aunt Phoebe questions, gaining my ear, knowing she was about to introduce me once again.
Logan sighs, "You mean the woman who left me and my dad and never cared to explain herself or apologize or come back? Unfortunately, I do remember her," the brunette spits, annoyed that I was brought up.
I swallow the lump in my throat. Melani, you were most definitely right. Logan is mad at me for being gone. Clearing my throat, I pick my gaze from the floor, turning to Aunt Phoebe to stop her but her words slip out her mouth faster than I can react.
I cringe internally and close my eyes, waiting for the negative outburst to come.
"Why did you let her in?" The brunette questions, voice laced with disgust and anger. Uncle Evan frowned as he eyed Logan in confusion. "I thought you would be happy to see her again," he mutters.
Logan scoffs, "When I was younger, yeah! Of course, I would've been happy or forgiven her for leaving us... But it's been 16 years and never did she send a text to check on us! She left like she didn't give two flying fucks about us."
She sighs, "She didn't care about dad and she didn't care about me. So no, I'm not happy to see her," she spits before leaving the living room. Sighing, I let out a breath I had no idea I had been holding.
I take a seat on the couch and place my head in my hands. Had I expected things to be smoother than this? No. I knew what to expect before I got here but it still hurt that she didn't want anything to do with me.
Aunt Phoebe sighs as she rubs my back. "Just give her some time," she encourages and I can't help but scoff at myself. Time? Just like I was forced to, huh? How long would the wait be this time around? 5 years? 10? 20? Who knew? I doubt she'd be able to forgive me but hell, I wouldn't forgive myself either.
A/N: Hi guys! This is the first chapter of the new rewritten book and I am excited about this. I always felt a need to rewrite/edit/revise and make this book better than the original one. During that time, I was still in high school and hadn't exactly developed my writing style so most times when I reread it, everything feels off and weird.
So I give you guys Mother, May I? with my current writing style and uniqueness. Hopefully, this time around it'll gain more positive attention. I know the original was... weird. Anyway, I hope you guys like and enjoy this and I hope to see you all again for this book!
I said I'd give you something for the 1K Followers so here you go :)
Stay Gay
~UD ❤