Yesterday's events exhausted me, I'm tired, hungry, sore. My wrists ache from the slashes, although unlike Fai, I did not scar. She'd stayed up all night thinking, her alarm going off rouses her from her revere. Fai considers going into work, after what happened last night. Flipping through her limited possible activities for the day, she decides to go. Better to be busy than to be stuck inside her room all day. The walls of her apartment seem to suffocate her, Fai gets ready for her day as quickly as she can.
Before I know it, she's knocking on my door. I can't go today, I groan, picking myself up from the ground. I need to go hunting, food poisoning and blood donation don't mix.
Opening the door,
"Hey Fai." I croak.
"Damn, you look awful." Her eyebrows knot together.
"Yeah thanks," I roll my eyes, "Listen, I don't think I can go into work today."
She nods,
"Of course, is there anything I can get or do for you?"
I shake my head,
"No, all I need is food and some sleep." I try a reassuring smile.
"I have leftovers-"
"No No, that's alright!" I interrupt, last thing I need is figuring out a way to dispose of the food without hurting her feelings. After a quick run through of Tom's illness remedies later, "I have some soup I picked up last night."
A bout of dizziness hits me, I lean on my door frame for support.
"About last night," Oh goddesses, "Did you see or hear anything?"
I close my eyes, playing up my level of sickness,
"Nothing out of the ordinary." My voice shakes.
I see myself in her eyes, I do look awful, almost green and incredibly pale.
"Oh, okay, I'll let you go then." Fai's voice is laced with both relief and disappointment. Relieved I wasn't involved, disappointed that she didn't have a potential witness.
"I won't be into work for awhile." I gesture to myself.
"Alright," She nods, "I'll see you again, when your ready"
With that I close my door and slowly lower myself to the ground. Lying to her was draining. One thing was true, I do need to eat. I listen to her leave and wait a few moments before going outside. Once she's turned a corner, I make my way to the spot where I can dimension step to a place with actual food. It doesn't take me long to get there, but with the sun up, I need to be careful about people seeing me.
Spreading my mind out, I listen for people looking out at the memorial. Thankfully it's not something people comfortably look at. It makes them sad to think about it, giving me an advantage I didn't think I'd get. He must've thought of that too. I step into the ashes, feeling for the weak spot in reality with my hand. A tingle shoots up into my fingers and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Redrawing the symbols was easy, and once again the ashes arrange themselves into the gateway. This time, I confidently step into it, angling my body as I do it so I'm stepping onto the ground of the other side.
After taking off my clothes, letting go of my human shape is euphoric. The restraints of being human all the time are still painful, but it's not a severe as it was last time. Stretching I sniff the air, searching for any nearby animals. I let myself go to the thrill of the hunt, running, stretching my muscles and sinew over bone, taking in the scent of the forest. It's hard to remember why I want to pretend to be human. At least, not until my stomach is full, and my mind is cluttered with more animals. I take a moment and create spaces for them to exist in, like tucking a child into bed. I clean myself of the blood and gore while I section them away to their new forever homes.
My claws are sharper still, I've gained more weight to my chest with a hard shell over my more vital organs, as well as the scales on my forehead flatten and harden. I tap on them, pleased with their thickness. Once cleaned, I force my body back into the shape of a human, full, content and very very tired.
The streets are earily quiet in the afternoon sun, something about having the sidewalks empty with the pavement glowing is lonely. Do the people working above feel the same? While they work, does anyone stare out the window at the windswept city scape, wishing they were in the warm sun with the soft breeze tugging at them? Ah I'm tired, I rub my eyes to wipe away the fog threatening to overtake my vision. How long will I sleep this time? Will what I've done yesterday increase the time yet again? I bulk at the possibility of it being a month before I go back to work. Perhaps Fai will knock on my door, wake me up before it gets to that extreme.
Fuck, Fai. What should I do know? I still want to leave someday, and now I've tied her to me so tightly. When would be a good time to tell her? Will it ever be a good time? All the tennants left over at my home are asleep, which sounds like a fantastic idea. I can worry more about Fai when I wake up, I tell myself. No use letting this keep me up.
Getting into my room, I remove my clothes again, and let myself stretch out on the carpet. I've grown bigger once again, what a shock. I flex my claws in and out, gently kneading the ground without puncturing it and fade into a thoughtless slumber.
Screaming jolts me awake. Not screaming here in my room, it's in my head. Oh goddesses no, it's Fai. Where is she? I spring from my curled position, ready to bolt in her direction. She's holding onto a sign, a tenticle is wrapped around her leg. It's hurting her, either she let's go or gets her leg ripped off. I'm out of the building before she let's go. Still in my original form, but that's not what is important right now. Her hands claw at the air helplessly. I round the corner, having only a moment to take in the behemoth in front of me. It's some type of ocean creature, barnacles sticking to it's blue translucent hide. The texture of skin very similar to my own, one of my kind? It's back reaches midway up the skyscrapers, it's body barely too wide to walk through the buildings. You can see it's path of destruction leading up to where it's clawed feet gouges the ground. The legs should be too thin to hold up it's massive frame, in fact, the large spider like tentacles sticking out of it's back are supporting some of the weight, holding onto the buildings with some effort.
I take that in while propelling myself into it's angler mouth and grab Fai by the hand. Her eyes, already filled with the fear of being eaten alive pop out of her head when she looks at me. I brace against the creature's lip with my back feet, digging my talons into it to gain better purchase. The creature bellows in frustration as we play an awful game of tug-of-war with Fai's body. I can feel strength leaving me to maintain her, keeping her from being torn in half. The creature bites down on me, a tooth stabing into just below my sternum and breaks off. White hot pain fills me, I growl angrily, and with all my strength I pull her far enough towards me that I can reach it's tongue with my mouth.
'YOU WILL NOT HAVE HER!' I psychically shriek at it and bite through it's tongue.
Throwing her out of it's mouth, many more tongues spring out and grab me, wrenching me to the back of it's throat. Mucus covers it's insides, so thick my claws can't penetrate the skin beneath. Without any success, I slide down the creature's throat. Being in it's stomach, it hasn't filled with acid yet. The inside of the creature is cramped, I don't think this is it's only stomach. Squishing digestive sounds come from all around me, the inside of the beast is so loud I can barely hear myself thing. There's a distant thrumbing, with it, temptary lines come in and out of focus in the stomach lining. And it gives me an idea, the heart. If im going to survive, that's my best bet. I focus on digging, just digging, in one spot. The slime only goes so deep and I gratefully hit flesh. With that, I stop and listen for the direction it's heartbeat is coming from... there! I rip open the flesh take a deep breath, close my eyes and dive into the exposed organs of the creature. The vibration of it's pained screams jostle me, but I keep heading in the direction of it's heart through the intercostle spaces of its guts. The pressure of the surrounding flesh is helpful to me. It's easier to hold my breath when there's no room to expand my lungs.
If it didn't want me crawling around in here, it shouldn't have swallowed me. There's no chance I would've beaten this thing from the outside. Bursting through the thick muscle of it's heart, slimy hot blood rushes past me, almost pushing me back into the confines of the lining. With great effort, I hold onto the flayed edges and force my way into it's heart. Taking a moment to orient myself, I ancor myself to the walls of it's heart. And... I'm stumped. Now what? The heart still beats around me, the hole I made heals up behind me. I rack my brain, I didn't get this far just to suffocate here. What can I do, wait, an idea dawns on me. Dragons are known for something right? And if this thing is like me, I swing through the valves of it's heart until I find what I want. This is all or nothing. I focus in on my heart, pushing it to beat faster, my blood heats up. It's all I think about. Hotter, I must get hotter. The blood around me starts to boil, I can feel my veins glowing. Something deep within me wakes up, a memory. I open my mouth and a torrent of flame lights the fluid all around.
Everything around me bursts open, where there was a top to the creature, I can feel sunlight. My ears are ringing, and nothing around me feels real. Vision is coming in and out, I can feel that im on fire, but from what little I can see, I'm not the only thing aflame. Burning pieces of flesh cling to the building around me. Standing in the stump that is the creatures remains, my hands and feet are burried up to their respectivejoints. It's soul fills me, and I cry out in extasy. Roaring with my victory and the strength it's soul gives me, humans turn back to look the exploded remains. My back spasms and tendril burst out of it. Each one moving independently from the others. I want to bask in this feeling, but an unconscious mind nearby catches my attention. Fai!
I leap off the remains and into it's shadow, and force myself back into a being a human. Ah fuck I'm naked, well, what can you do? I run over to her and scout her up from the ground. She'd hit her head on the ground when I'd thrown her, a pretty nasty welt was healing on top of her head. After a scan of the area, no one was paying any attention to the naked boy and unconscious woman. So I took off for the apartments.
Getting back to them, I keep my mind open to others watching for any reactions. Most everyone is still asleep from earlier on in the day... the creature incident was far enough away that it hadn't Disturbed anyone. While walking to the door another tennant exits the building and I freeze. He takes a glazed look at us, I smile sheepishly. The guy shrugs and continues on his way, late to work.
Every door starting from outside to my floor is on it's hinges or laying on the ground. Deep furrows are carved into the walls where I'd used them to propel myself forward just moments ago. How am I going to explain this to the land lady? After dropping Fai off in her room, I go back to mine to put some clothes on. Once dressed, I go back over to Fai's to check on her. I get hit with a wave of exhaustion. Maybe a quick nap won't hurt, the adrenaline from the fight has worn off. My eyes are closing on their own, I collapse onto her couch. Just a moment, I'll rest my eyes.
Overwhelming fear seeps into my dreams and I wake up with an awful taste in my mouth and a gun pointed at my head.
"What are you!" Fai demands.
Oh goddesses my head hurts, I wince at the volume of her voice.
"Huh?" I sit up, groggy.
"I said," the gun cocks, "What are you?!"
Why is Fai acting like this, wasn't I careful? Wait, no, oh no no no no, I was the opposite of careful.
"Wait," I hold out a hand, "I need more context, what exactly do you mean?" I fix my eyes on her.
She shaking with betrayal and rage. Fai had heard of shape-shifting monsters, she'd been raised to fight and kill such creatures. But she'd never believed they were real, she'd never seen one, she thought she'd wasted her childhood on useless superstition. Yet, here I am, the creature from her childhood nightmares.
I sigh heavily, pain lighting up in my abdomen. Looking down, I see the creature's tooth sticking out of me, the skin around it red, inflamed and seeping with puss.
"I'm the one asking questions!" She hisses through her teeth.
"Well," I brace myself with one hand, grasping the tooth with another, and pull the tooth free, "I think you already know the answer." And hold the tooth shard up, looking at it, avoiding her eyes.
"I need to hear it from you." Her voice cracks. "I need you to tell me, what exactly has been mascarading as a human, gaining my trust, and for what?"
"That's a difficult question." I whisper.
"One I'd like answered." She reaffirms.
Exposing myself like this was stupid, I should've never decided to stay, but I can't bring myself to regret saving her yesterday. This was bound to happen eventually, I just wish I'd had a choice in how I'd come out to her.
"I'm a clone."
She freezes, gun still.
"Sorry, what?" Fai's voice, confused.
"So, somewhere along the line, some human scientists thought it'd be a good idea to clone some big bad ancient dragon." I trail off, and take a moment to rally, "And so, here I am."
Fai is looking for the lie, she's picking apart my sentence, trying to find any fault in it.
"A clone?" Her head tilts, it'd be comical if the situation wasn't so serious, "Do you know which dragon?"
Ah, of course she'd want clarification.
"I only know what I was able to read in the minds of the scientists and books at the local library-" Fai's eyebrows shoot up when I mention the library, "And he didn't have a name really, more of a title?"
I sneak a glance at her, her lips are pursed, her slanted eyes squinted in suspicion.
Right,
"Humans dubbed him the Devourerer?" If she'd been still before, she's rigid now.
"No." She whispers, the sound of her voice causing her to violently shake, "No!" She crams at me, and pushes the gun into my chest,
"Don't say that! He's dead!" She shakes her head, "My ancestor killed you, put you in that Goddesses forsaken sword-." Fai points her gun to the spot where display hooks hang from the wall. Her words freeze in her throat.
"Oh goddesses above, what have I done?!" The gun tumbles from her hand and she falls heavily to the ground. "How old are you?" She whispers.
"Two, maybe three years old at oldest." I'm in shock after what she's just said. Air has left my lungs, the cold sting of the sword penetrating my chest stabs onto me. I put of a face, but I can feel myself dying again inside. Her ancestor, it was her family that killed me! What cruel God would do this?
"That's... about when I did it." Fai shivers on the ground, curling in on herself. "I donated that sword, to a museum and I should have know."
"How are you supposed to know?" I slide off the couch, onto the floor to be eye level with her, "How could you know someone would use it like that? Anyway, how do you know it was the sword, they could have gotten his DNA from anywhere."
She shakes her head,
"No, it's not just his soul that got pulled in, his body was the sword." She wipes at the torrent of her tears absent-mindedly, "My, my mother told me she could hear him whispering in there, but I-" Fai hangs her head,
"I never heard him, I thought my mother using it as an excuse to hide that she had undiagnosed schizophrenia." In barely a whisper, "I am such a fool."
I reach out a hand, and snatch it back, like she'd want the monster of her childhood touching her.
"I hear him, sometimes." I shrug.
"You hear him?" She snaps, her voice full of venom, fixing me in a piercing gaze, "You are him!"
Disgust twists my face,
"I am not whatever the fuck he was!" I argue back, "That monster died long ago, what I hear are echos. Echos that something deep in me remembers."
Turning away from her, I can't stand to look at her distrustful eyes, the unspoken accusations in her mind.
"Do not compare or confuse us." My voice breaks.
As much as I want to believe we're different, I still have his urges. This nonsense of wanting to kill and punish those around me. My fist clenches, my human looking fist. "I just want to live in peace. I want nothing more than to live a life where my only worry is if I can make friends and or keep friends."
"He's got nothing to do with me." I whimper.
"Bullshit, what if you change your mind? What if humanity doesn't want to be your friend." Her tone is harsh.
I shrug,
"I don't know what I'll choose in the future, the simple life is enough for me."
My plans for vengeance on behalf of Tom, and Fai herself rustle up from the recesses of my mind. Better not bring those up.
"Right, the devourerer only wants to work with me in a little corporate shop and eat ice cream all day." She says sarcastically.
I look her dead in the eyes,
"Exactly."
Fai swallows hard, unable to speak against my straightforward honesty.
"After all this, why should I trust you? Ever again?"
Crossing my legs, I think carefully on my next words,
"Give me something," I offer, "Tell me something to do, and I'll do it."
"You want me to instruct you on how you can fix this?' She gestures to the air between us.
"I don't know if you know this," I pinch the bridge of my nose, I can feel my exhaustion rallying to take over me, "But I'm new to this whole human thing, I was grown in a lab for Goddesses's sake."
Fai let's out an unhinged giggle,
"And that gives you a free pass?"
My face falls,
"It doesn't, but I want you to humor me at the very leasy."
"Okay okay," she continues to laugh, a hint of hysteria tugging at the corners of her eyes. "Let's see."
A hand lifts to her chin,
"You know what," She stands up and walks to the display hooks, "You can help me get this back."
"Are you sure you want me..?" I begin.
"Do you want another you running around?" Fai snaps.
My eyebrows shoot up, I hadn't thought of that, another clone?
"Absolutely not." Who knows if he'd have the same level of restraint as me. "That would be a nightmare." The blood drains from my face.
Would I need to kill myself in that case? To keep the other me from my darker impulses.
"Exactly," She mirrors my earlier sentiment, "You help me get that sword back and I'll consider thinking about forgiving you."
I nod, acquiescent. Getting rid of that thing might give me some closure too, even if "getting ride of" means it moves in next door to me.
Fai rocks on her heels, chewing on her cheek,
"Thank you, by the way." She stares at the ground, "For saving me."
If my eyebrows got any higher, they'd be in my hairline,
"Of course, I couldn't let you die," The image of Dai in his stomach, getting digested makes me shudder, "Not like that."
Fai nods her thoughts far away,
"If you don't mind, I'd like you to leave now."
"Uh, yeah, sure." I get up and return to my room.
What a bizarre twenty-four hours . Fai's dinner, her assassination attempt, her attack and finally being confronted by her for the truth. Having it out there, I don't know if I like it. I miss her easy smiles and trust and we'll, This sucks. But it is my fault, I only got caught because I wasn't careful. Now there's this favor she wants. Finding the sword, she'd said she gave it to a museum. Would it still have the sword? As much as I don't like invading her privacy, I don't want to risk making her madder than she already is by asking which museum she donated to.
Fai is bargaining with herself, questioning if she should trust me enough to have me help her retrieve the demon blade. Grasping onto the thought thread of the demon blade, I follow it deeper into her subconscious. Strands of thought spread out into the recesses of her mind. Listening carefully, I follow one to a wall she's built. Shame covers this memory, so thick it travels back and colors my thoughts. And here I thought I had no shame, I roll my eyes. Pushing through the fog, only fragments of the memory remain. Her self destructive nature has separated the memory into more digestible pieces, with some parts being completely forgotten.
The director has no solid shape to them, there are no smells, but I can tell that it's bright. I sift through the fragments for something helpful, avoiding the memory of the blade as best as I can. There are banners... red? Or are they the feeling of red? A bull! A golden bull, simplified and in the rough shape of flame. Agni's: Hearts Ablaze for History. At least now I know where she'd be if she went there without me.
How long will I be allowed to sleep now? I know Fai will want to start immediately after she gets herself together. Turning back into myself is painful with the healing gaping wound in my chest. Once I'm me, I trace the edges, feeling the extent of the hole. Pieces of tooth are still inside, cautiously, I remove as many as I can. What a defense mechanism, was this and offensive or defensive trait? Did the creature develope this ability to be sure it's prey was propley skewered? After I've dislodged the last surface level shard, I curl in on myself and pray to the Goddesses that I'm able to asleep quickly. The faster I fall asleep, the more sleep I'll be able to get before Fai and I take on stealing a sword from a museum.