It was Saturday morning when I finally got myself out of bed. When I fell asleep Alek was here, but now he's nowhere to be found. It was a relief though, I don't know how I'd feel waking up with him here and not being little.
I was still suffering from a hangover and my head felt all fuzzy from Thursday night. Yesterday was a complete write off, but being in little space made the hangover a bit more bearable.
It felt so weird being little in front of Alek, but I don't think I could have made it go away even if I tried. It was like I still knew what he did to me, but at the same time he made me feel so safe and cared for.
I felt as though my little self trusted him, but my big self doesn't trust Alek as far as I can throw him. Which isn't very far because he's a giant and I'm tiny.
Seeing him so many times this past week has only made me realize just how much I actually miss him. I miss that man so much it makes my tummy sick. My heart aches at the sight of him and I really wish it didn't. I also wish he didn't leave me, but we can't always have what we want and I keep telling myself that.
I forced myself to get in the shower and it felt so refreshing. I repeated to myself that I would only be happy today. I'm tired of feeling sad and I refuse to let myself be for another second!
I even practiced my smile in the mirror, but no one needs to know that.
Before I left the house for my shift at Daisy's, I gave Mr. Snuggles and Mr. Lion a kiss, and I gave Chris and Anthony a big hug too. I also said I'd explain a few things to them later, which they were fine with.
I didn't want to bother either of them so I got an Uber to pick me up and I had him drop my off down the street from Daisy's. I was hungry so I stopped at a yummy sandwich place up the road. I even treated myself to a smoothie!
I walked through the door and my eyes lit up at the sight of my coworker.
"Hi, Nali!" I smiled. "Are you feeling better?!"
"Yes, so much. That cold really took me out. I hope you weren't too busy last weekend?"
"No, of course not! It was great!" I smiled. "I'm really happy you're feeling better."
"Thank you, so am I. Oh! I almost forgot, I made you a little something to make up for it." She grinned, reaching under the counter. She pulled out a pretty pink container that was filled to the brim with snacks!
"Nali, is that what I think it is?" I gasped.
"Mmm, it might be." She smirked, lifting the lid at a slow and torturous pace.
"Oh my god, you're the best!" I set my things down on the counter and grabbed a piece of the dessert. She told me it's called yakgwa. It's a delicious Korean dessert and she makes it so perfectly!
"You can miss more work if it means I get spoiled like this." I giggled. "These are so yummy!"
"At least I know what I can bribe you with now." She laughed, sliding the container over to me.
"Bribe all you want. I'll take all of your shifts if it means getting these every time."
"Have you had lunch? Do you want half of my sandwich? I just bought it, here!"
"Are you sure?" She asked hesitantly.
"Um, yes i'm sure! You share with me so I'll share with you!" I smiled. "It's chicken!"
"Okay fine, give it here." She held out her hand while I un wrapped the sandwich and slid half of it over to her.
"Oh, a customer!" I spun around to face the door, grinning at the sound of the bells chiming.
"Hi, I'm Noah, welcome to Daisy's! How can I help you?" I straightened out my shirt and smiled at the elderly woman who walked in. "Oh my goodness, that scarf is so pretty!"
"Oh, this old thing?" She ran her fingers along the soft fabric. It was a silky pastel pink with pretty white cherry blossoms all over it! "It was a gift from my husband many years ago. He gave it to me on our first date." She had this look in her eyes that made me know instantly she was thinking back on that day.
"That's very beautiful! Where did he take you?"
"Are you sure you want to know? I wouldn't want to bore you." She hesitated.
"Yes! I would love to hear your story, I bet it's so romantic!" I grinned.
"Alright, if you insist." She laughed. "Our first date was in September of 1945. It was shortly after John got home from fighting in world war two. He was a few years older then me, but we actually grew up together. For the few years he was gone, we sent many letters back and forth. I remember waiting upwards of three weeks for a response from him, but he always answered and something in me knew he always would. I don't know when, but at one point during our conversations, we fell in love."
"Shortly after he came back, we reunited at our favorite diner. As soon as I saw his handsome face again, I knew we were going to spend our lives together. He gave me this scarf as a promise that the next item he would give me would be my wedding ring. and well, the rest is history. We got married, had two wonderful children and lived a happy and healthy life. John unfortunately passed away in his sleep a few years ago, but I am so grateful for the time we were given. It's actually our fiftieth wedding anniversary today and I was hoping to bring him some flowers."
"Oh my god, you're going to make me cry! I wish I had something like that. Everything seemed so romantic and real back then. . . Love these days just isn't the same." I sighed.
"Love is the same now as it was back then. I just think you haven't received what you're looking for yet, dear. I have a feeling love isn't very far away for you. I can see it in your eyes." She smiled.
"You know what? I want you to have this." She began taking off her scarf, but I stopped her.
"No, no, no. I can't take this from you. This scarf has so much meaning to you."
"I'm not taking no for an answer, young man. This scarf is my promise to you that you will find the woman, or man who is going to love you forever, just as John loved me. Now take this scarf and you only give it away after you've lived a life filled with joy and love. Then, do with it what you will. You can choose to keep it or pass it on to the next person." My hands fell to my sides and I let her place the beautiful scarf around my neck. I was a blushing mess!
"Thank you so much um—'"
"It's Dorothy, dear." She set her hand over mine, smiling sweetly.
"Well Dorothy, you don't know how much this means to me, or just how much I needed to hear that there's someone out there waiting for me."
"And it's the truth. Now how about you pick out your most beautiful flowers for me. I've got a date to get to."
I got Dorothy a chair and made the most beautiful flower arrangement I possibly could. I have never seen a person so happy over flowers besides myself.
"I hope you like them." I said shyly.
"They're absolutely perfect, Noah. How much—"
"It's on the house. You get to that date and show off that beautiful outfit, Dorothy. I know when he sees you, he's going to fall in love all over again."
"I knew I was right about you. You are going to make someone very happy one day. I hope to see you again, Noah." She stood up for her seat and I handed her the bouquet. I surprised her with a hug and said a quiet thank you before leaving the shop.
The rest of my shift I felt like I was in a daydream. I kept picturing what Dorothy's first date with her husband would have been like. It felt so magical! I hope someone loves me that much one day, but it's not only that. . . I just have so much love to give and it's really hard not being able to share that with someone. I want to have someone to watch movies and cuddle with, someone to wake up to and make breakfast with. . . I want someone to take care of me when I'm in my little space. It would be nice to also be loved, but it doesn't feel possible. At least I have my friends. I can smother them with my love!
Nali left an hour earlier than I did because she starts earlier, so I was left to close the store. I made sure everything turned off and cleaned before locking up the store. It was a beautiful night out. It was so warm, but the breeze felt just right. The moon was shining bright and it looked so pretty!
I didn't want to make a mess with cooking at Chris's place even though he wouldn't mind, so I decided to get a pizza from the bar a few blocks away. I've never been there before, but they have really good reviews! I don't like eating out so much, but it's easier then staring at the fridge, trying to decide what to make! I spent the last three hours of my shift deciding if I wanted a cheese or pepperoni pizza. If I was home, it would have been much longer. That's why when I get groceries, I only get a few things at a time so I don't overwhelm myself, but Chris and Anthony's fridge has way too much food!
I hid my scarf in my bag as I reached the bar because I didn't want to risk anyone saying something to me. If I wasn't by myself I'd be fine, but i'm all alone so I don't want to take the chance of someone hurting me.
People are so mean nowadays.
The pretty girl at the counter happily went back to get my food and I thanked her with a big smile and a good tip. I went back outside and stood on the sidewalk to wait for my Uber.
There was a group of three men smoking a few feet away from the door. They were laughing and talking loudly, clearly all drunk. It freaked me out a little bit, so I made sure not to make a sound or more a muscle.
Everything was fine until I heard his voice.
I turned my head slowly to the right just as the group turned in my direction to walk back inside.
His dark messy hair, the dazed, slightly bloodshot eyes. . . The black leather jacket. . . He looked so handsome.
"No fucking way." Alek said in surprise. "Noah? What're you doing here?!"
"Noah? You mean like, that Noah?" The blond bearded man asked.
"Damn, you weren't lying when you said you kept running in to each other." The brown haired man laughed.
"U-Um, hello." I stammered, tightening my grip on the pizza box.
"What are you doing out all alone?" Alek asked.
"I just finished working and I was hungry so I decided to get some food before going home."
"God, I missed your gorgeous face." He breathed out and all I could smell was the strong scent of alcohol on his breath. And cigarettes, but I don't mind. I'm not a fan, but it doesn't bother me!
"Can you believe I had to go two years without seeing you? Do you understand just how much I thought about you? How much I fucking missed you?" Alek was so close to me that I was forced to look up at him as he spoke.
"Y-You're drunk, Alek." I whispered. "How can I trust you when you're not sober?"
"Aw, man. You gotta trust him. My man here has been put through the ringer and back, and the first thing he did when he was back was ask about you." Said the blond guy.
"He's been through some shit, but he ended up pretty well off after it all, didn't you." The brown haired guy smirked and nudged Alek, causing them to both almost fall to the ground.
"Shut up, man." Alek frowned.
"You have to let me tell you what happened, Noah. You have to. It'll all make sense after, then you can forgive me and we can be together." He smiled drunkenly.
"You want to be with me?" I asked in a low whisper.
"Since the day I met you. I know you felt a connection, Noah. You can't deny it."
"I did, but you left me. How am I supposed to feel?"
Suddenly a honk came from in front of us and my phone buzzed.
"T-That's my ride. I have to go."
"Who is that?" He swung his head towards the car and glared at the man; his fists clenching tightly.
"Ooh, someone's jealous." The blond guy said, making his other friend erupt in laughter.
"Shut the fuck up." He scowled at them, then looked back at me.
"It's j-just my Uber." I spoke nervously and took a small step back. "Jealousy isn't a good look on you. You look nicer when you smile." I said, walking closer towards the car.
"Fuck, I'm sorry baby." Alek said shamefully, running a hand through his soft hair. "Shit, I didn't mean to call you that. Please Noah, wait." He pleaded.
"What, Alek?" I sighed.
"Meet with me tomorrow. I'll pick you up from Anthony's, or I'll get you from work. Just give me a chance to explain."
"Fine. You can get me from work tomorrow if you remember this. Goodbye, Alek."
I got in my car and let the Uber take my back to Chris and Anthony's. It was about nine thirty by the time I got back, and when I came through the front door the two of them were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie.
"Hey, Noah!" Chris smiled at me. "Come sit."
"Okay! I brought pizza." I grinned and ran over to them, plopping myself down on the seat beside Chris.
"So um, you guys probably have some questions." I bit my bottom lip, avoiding eye contact.
"Noah, you don't have to be embarrassed." Anthony said. "I'm not shaming you, and neither is Christopher."
"What he said! You're my bestie. I'll always love you for who you are. Especially the little side of you because you are freaking adorable!"
"It was quite entertaining." Anthony laughed.
"Oh my god, stop it you guys!" I blushed. "It's because I trust and love you guys so I felt like I could just be me."
"Well, i'm honored! We love you too." Chris smiled and attacked me with a big hug.
"You guys are the best!" I giggled.
"Now you don't have to but how do you know Alek?" Anthony questioned.
I sighed. "Remember when we did submissive training? That last day he was the Dom who got paired up with me."
"Oh yeah! I forgot about that, Holy shit!"
"Yeah, um anyways long story short we went on a few really really amazing dates, we hooked up, I woke up alone in his apartment the next morning and he never came back."
"So he just had sex with you and then he was gone? For what, how long was that, two years?"
"Yep. He didn't call or text, he didn't try to find me. I even tried going back to his place and he was just never there. Eventually I just stopped trying and a year later I met Adam. I don't know why Alek's trying to be back in my life two years later. I think I will always want him, but what if he just walks out on me again?"
"And you still don't know why he left?" Chris asked.
I shook my head from side to side. "Nope, but he wants to meet with me tomorrow. I ran into him when I was getting pizza and he was so drunk, so I don't know if he will remember." I said sadly.
"Oh, babe. Come here." Chris held his arms open and I laid in my side with my head in his lap.
"I'm so scared to get my heart broken again, Chris. I don't think I've even recovered from the first time yet."
"Well all you can do is hear him out and if you don't like what he has to say, then move on and find the man who's going to treat you like a little prince."
"You've got me, Chris, Julian and Fox. We're all here for you no matter what happens. I know my little kitten will always be by your side so even if it doesn't go how you want it, to you've got all of us to support you and get you through it. If Alek isn't the one for you, I know you'll find a DD to take care of you. I know many good guys who would be happy to be in your life, Noah."
"Wow, what wise words." Chris added in cheekily.
"Seriously, Chris?" Anthony frowned.
"I'm kidding! Sorry, it was bad timing. I know. He's right though, Noah. We got your back. We always will."
"Thank you." I blushed. "Can we just eat some pizza and watch a movie now?"
"Is that even a question?"
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A/N - We're starting to get a bit deeper.
Idunno if we're ready for it ;)