The first shorter draft took me no more than a day to finish, it covered all I knew about the others, both what they had told me about their life back in our world, as well as our experiences together. It made a nice enough little adventure story, that would be enough for most of them, I thought.
Which left me with the more challenging one. In a way it was easier than I thought, pouring all my love, my hopes and fears into the story, tears flowing steadily the more I wrote, my fingers flying across the keys like my life depended on it. It didn't of course, but my heart and perhaps my sanity did. Editing it took forever, as I kept second guessing almost every word. What if I forgot to mention some crucial piece of information? What if there was a certain word, a specific phrasing that would unlock his memories, and I missed it? I read and reread the text a million times it seemed, until my eyes were red and swollen, not only from tears but from strain.
Finally I managed to drive all the what ifs from my mind, and pressed the print button. Munching on cookies from a familiar yellow bag, I stared like hypnotized at the printer as it slowly spat out page after page. The small machine finished and I assembled the papers in five neat piles, one almost twice as thick as the others. Each pile went into one of the beautiful gift boxes I had bought on my way back from the hospital, and I attached the handwritten cards I had prepared earlier.
Now, what? I checked the time, I had been working through the night, and it was still early in the morning. Sleep was out of the question, so instead I took a long shower, reveling in the sensation of the hot water on my body. How I had missed this, I thought, letting out a pleased sigh as my tensed muscles started to relax a little. After the shower I spent even longer time carefully applying makeup and fixing my hair and going through my small wardrobe. In the end I chose the outfit that most closely resembled what I used to wear in the other world, a tight fitting black dress, paired with short leggings. If you're heading out to mess with people's minds, risking their sanity, as well as your own, not to mention almost certainly making an utter fool of yourself, you might as well look your best while doing it, I thought as I studied myself in the mirror. I grabbed the list of names and addresses I had made, picked up the big bag with the manuscripts and went outside to find a taxi.
– – – – –
As I rang the first doorbell, my heart was beating faster than it had during any of the games. I heard footsteps approaching and nervously repeated the little speech I had memorized, clutching one of the gift boxes to my chest. The door was opened by a young man who was not Arisu, and we both stared surprised at each other. Perhaps this was the brother he had mentioned?
'Er, hi,' I said a bit uncertain, 'I'm looking for Arisu, Arisu Ryohei. Does he live here? I have something for him.'
I held up the gift box like it was important evidence. He looked between me and the box, then thankfully nodded.
'Yeah, I'll see if he's up. You a friend of his?'
'Yeah, you could say that,' I said as he disappeared back into the apartment, leaving me standing at the doorstep seriously rethinking my decision to come here. It didn't take long before Arisu showed up, his hair was as untamed in this world as it had been in the other, I noticed.
'Hey, I remember you,' he said, 'you're the girl from the hospital, aren't you? The...'
'...crazy one?' I finished his sentence for him. 'Yeah, that's me.'
'I was going to say, the one with the cool theory about us being in the Borderlands together. Come inside.'
He led me to his room which was more or less as I had expected. He cleared a space on his bed for me to sit on, and placed himself in the chair in front of his computer.
'So that's where you learned all your skills?' I said looking at his gaming set up. He looked confused but curious, and I became more hopeful about my project.
'I can't stay long, I just wanted to give you this,' I continued, handing him the box. 'I wrote down all I can remember from our time together over there. It's up to you if you want to read it or not. Perhaps it will be just like reading any other story, perhaps it will trigger your memory.'
As he opened the lid and looked inside the box, I somewhat dramatically added, 'Perhaps it will change your life.'
'I will read it. Of course I will,' he assured me sincerely, and I had to resist a sudden urge to get up and hug him.
'Thank you,' I answered gratefully, 'I wasn't sure how you'd react to me showing up like this. Thank you for listening to me. I have one for Usagi as well, I'll go and see her next.'
His face lit up, he obviously still had feelings for her, even in this world. 'Say hi to her from me, will you?' he asked, and I smiled. 'Of course.'
I got up, and reached for the bag with the rest of the boxes.
'I made one for each person in our little gang. There's also a note with an address to a coffee bar, I will be there the whole afternoon tomorrow, if you want to meet again and talk about... anything.'
The confidence I had gotten from seeing Arisu quickly drained as I stood outside Usagi's house trying to convince her to listen to me, let alone accept the box. Not that I could really blame her for her skepticism, but this was frustrating. When I left she was standing with the card in one hand and the box in the other looking dubiously at me, and I hoped she would not just dump it in the nearest bin. Perhaps I should have brought Arisu with me, I thought resentfully.
I was luckier with Kuina, as I met her on the street when I was trying to find her building.
'Hey you, I thought you had quit those,' I said with a smile as I went up to her, looking pointedly at the cigarette in her mouth.
She took it out and looked at it, shrugged, then put it back between her lips and took a long draw on it.
'Oh, it's you from the hospital,' she said when she recognized me, 'the psychic one.'
I winced at that, but at least she remembered me. The things I had said during that embarrassing scene with her parents had obviously made her curious. She happily accepted the gift box, after I explained what was in it. She even said that she looked forward to reading it, and that of course she'd come and have coffee with me tomorrow no matter what. She was as sweet and genuine as ever and I was instantly reminded of why I had come to like her so much.
I thought about stopping for a quick lunch before heading to the hospital, but my stomach felt like a hard knot, so I decided to just go there directly. This was the meeting I both anticipated and dreaded the most. The closer I got to his room the more self-conscious I felt, so when I passed a bathroom I quickly went inside. Coward, I thought as I stared at myself in the mirror. The lighting made my face look pale and hollow, so I refreshed my makeup in an effort to feel better. I smoothed down my hair, took a deep breath and went back out. My heart was beating ridiculously fast when I reached the room, but stopped as I froze, staring at his empty bed. But, this couldn't be. He was supposed to still be here, I thought, as I desperately looked around.
'So, you're back,' Niragi said. 'He should be back here soon. They're keeping us both here for one more night,' he added when he saw me stare at Chishiya's bed.
'Ok,' I said turning to him. 'I actually wanted to talk to you as well.'
He looked surprised at that, but it was a bit hard to tell since half his face was still covered in bandages. I told him briefly about the manuscripts I had made, expecting him to laugh or make some mean comment, but he actually seemed interested. Probably bored out of his head from being here, I thought sarcastically.
'You know, I really didn't like you, I even feared you most of the time,' I confessed, 'but, you're a survivor, and you still deserve a chance. Here,'
I handed him the box with the last of the thin manuscripts. He opened it and peeked inside, then gave me a puzzled look.
'You might not like what it says about you,' I warned him, 'but then again, maybe it'll give you some weird kick. I mean, I don't know if something happened to you to make you like this, or if you were simply born a sadistic asshole.'
'Look, I know I was a piece of shit. You don't need to tell me that I've fucked up,' he said, not sounding like he really regretted the fact. He held up the papers, 'I'll read it. Can't be any worse than the magazines they keep here.'
'Hello again,' apparently Chishiya had entered the room without us noticing and was now leaning casually against the wall by the door. 'What brings you back here?'
'I... um... er,' I stuttered, all the things I had planned to say were gone and I stumbled for words. Surprisingly, Niragi came to my rescue.
'She brought gifts,' he said, holding his bunch of papers in the air. 'She wrote down all the stuff she claims we were doing together when we were almost dead, in the Borderlands, or whatever she called it. So, now she wants us to read it and decide if we think she's crazy or not.'
I made a face, as I took the last box out of my bag.
'That's sort of accurate, but not quite how I would have phrased it,' I said a bit defensively as I placed it on Chishiya's bed. I gave Niragi a hard look, then I resolutely pulled out the curtain between the beds, blocking his view.
'I know I must seem insane to you, but please, read it,' I implored him. 'It might spark a memory, a feeling, or something. Or at least let you know that there is one person in the world who has seen you for who you truly are. And loved you for it. That you're not nearly as empty as you think you are.'
His face went blank again, but he came over to the bed and sat down next to the box, looking thoughtfully between me and it.
'You're very persistent, I'll give you that,' he said. 'Pretty brave as well, coming back here again, especially after how I treated you last time.'
'I mean, we both suffered a cardiac arrest. We all did,' I pointed out, 'We were technically dead even if it was only for a short time. Isn't it possible that our minds or souls or whatever met somewhere, and that it changed us somehow? Don't you feel different at all?'
His expression softened a bit, and he nodded slowly. He seemed more sincere than the last time I had seen him, more like the Chishiya I had known.
'I've been thinking a lot about my life. Choices I had to make,' he said quietly. 'Pretty sure I'm gonna be turning my life around.' He paused and looked me in the eyes, 'Or something like that.'
'Then perhaps some of what you went through stayed with you after all,' I replied in that same quiet voice. 'Maybe that was the whole point, and I'm the freak for actually remembering. Perhaps none of us were supposed to recall what happened on the other side and I'm just being selfish hoping that you will remember too.'
That thought made me surprisingly sad. Should I not have said anything? Just let the others go back to their previous lives? Was I even hurting them, trying to make them remember? All because I felt alone.
I put my hand on the box and added, 'There's some pretty gruesome things in there, so I can understand if you don't want to...'
I silenced as he opened it and took out the rather thick pile of papers inside, and started flipping through it. I watched his eyes dart across the pages randomly, then stop and read a small section, a frown appearing on his face.
'Strange,' he said thoughtfully. 'There's no way you could have known about this.'
He kept flipping through the pages, his frown deepening.
'Hey,' I interrupted him, touching his hand gently, 'I'll leave you to it. You might as well start from the beginning.'
We both stood up, and when I went past him I stopped and kissed him softly on the cheek. This might be the last time I ever saw him, and I felt my heart breaking at the thought. When I reached the door I turned around,
'Chishiya?' He was sitting on the edge of the bed, still holding the papers in his hand. The overhead light cast strange shadows on his face, making it look ghostly pale. For a moment, and for the first time since I'd known him, he looked so utterly vulnerable.
'Whatever happens,' I said, swallowing hard to remove the lump that had formed in my throat, 'Whatever happens, I just wanted to say thank you. For everything.'
Then I left, feeling his eyes follow me as I walked down the hallway.
– – – – –
Once back in my room I kicked off my shoes and collapsed on the bed. The adrenaline rush that had carried me through the last days had finally ended, and I felt more exhausted than ever.
I forced myself to eat some dinner, staying well fed and rested was important after all. I took another long hot shower, just because I could, and then, with my skin still pink from the heat, I more or less fell into bed and was asleep in an instant.
The next morning I woke up full of anticipation, or perhaps anxiety would be a better word. After breakfast and the obligatory steamy shower I realized I had way too much time on my hands. I had told the others that they could meet me after 1:30pm. It seemed like an eternity until then. Again I spent a ridiculous amount of time on my makeup and hair, and I tried on every piece of clothing I had with me, twice. I finally settled for a long, light gray, flowy dress, that had a summery feel to it. Still there were two more hours until I was supposed to be there. Looking around the room I just couldn't sit there and wait, so I packed my laptop, pulled my shoes on and finally, feeling a bit nostalgic, I grabbed my thin black hooded jacket as well.
I arrived in the coffee bar just before twelve, and looked for a seat that was a bit out of the way, yet would make it possible to keep an eye on the door. I optimistically chose a big table that would easily seat six people, and opened up my laptop, thinking I might be able to get some work done while I was waiting. In the end I spent the time sipping tea, idly watching music videos and some cute anime that was running on a number of screens hanging around the room, inevitably thinking about Chishiya, running every possible scenario through my head. Since it was still early I barely glanced at the door when it opened, and so I almost missed him. I looked up, and there he was, one hand still holding the door open while he looked around. I stood up and gave a little wave to get his attention, and he walked towards me, hands in pockets, face unreadable.
Watching him approach my heart fluttered between joy and despair, and when he finally stood right in front of me I was almost afraid to look at him.
'Here,' he said, 'I brought you something.' and he handed me a small present.
I opened it with trembling fingers, not sure what to expect. It turned out to be a pink KitKat chocolate bar, and for a second I just stared at it, uncomprehending. Why on earth would he... and then I remembered. This wasn't the first time he had given me one of those. He had found one once before, it must have been one of the first days after the Jack of hearts, and when I saw it I had gone on about how cute the package was, and how utterly amazing it was that you could get actual pink chocolate here. It had tasted pretty great too, I remembered, looking down at the one I now held in my hand. He lifted my chin so I had to look him in the eyes, and said,
'We shared it standing out on the terrace at your little hide out. You didn't put that in your little book, did you?' My eyes widened, was he saying that...
'You had a blue dress on when we first met, in the Jack of hearts. You missed not having honey for your tea,' I could feel my eyes tearing up, even as he leaned closer to my ear and whispered, 'and I could mention at least two or three times we made love that you also forgot to mention.'
'You, you...' I couldn't find the right words, or any words for that matter. All I could hear was my joyous heartbeat and all I could see were his eyes and that little smirk that always drove me mad. I whimpered and threw myself into his arms, hugging him tight. He winced, and remembering his wounds I eased my grip around him a bit, just a bit and I lifted my mouth closer to his. Glancing around he decided that we were secluded enough for a short kiss, and though I wished it could have continued forever it was every bit as wonderful as I remembered.
He broke away from me to order coffee for both of us,
'I'm glad that you came here early as well,' he said as he took his seat next to me. 'I was hoping you'd be as impatient as usual, so we could have some time before the others show up.'
I was still half in chock that he was really here, that he remembered everything and right now I was regretting inviting anybody else except for him.
'If anybody shows up,' I said. 'Though both Kuina and Arisu promised they would come, no matter what. Unless they decide that it's too crazy for them after all.'
Chishiya nodded, 'Yeah, I can believe those two showing up out of curiosity, if nothing else.' He gave me a speculative look, before he continued,
'Niragi will be here as well. He actually remembered everything much faster than I did, and we had a long conversation last night.'
Despite everything I felt a chill thinking about him and what he'd done, and I frowned involuntary.
'Don't worry,' Chishiya reassured me, 'He seems to genuinely want to turn his life around. And he said he regretted what he did to you, and Usagi. And a lot of other things. I think you should be prepared for a rather clumsy apology later, I don't think he has said I'm sorry to anyone for a very long time.'
I took a sip of the coffee, which was surprisingly good.
'I still can't believe that this crazy idea actually worked,' I said, shaking my head slowly. 'And I can't understand why I was the only one who remembered anything from there. It's really strange, or maybe I just am a freak.'
'I think it might be because of all your notes,' he mused, 'Somehow your brain stored all your experiences like it was one of your books, in a different part of the brain. Perhaps. I guess we'll never know.'
'Guess it doesn't matter,' I shrugged and glanced at his chest. 'So, how are you feeling? Are you still in a lot of pain from the... shrapnel?'
'You mean the bullets?' he corrected me again, eyes twinkling mischievously, and I rolled my eyes upward as my only answer. 'It's not too bad, I'm on excellent painkillers, but it'll be sore for some time of course.'
I nodded, that was to be expected I supposed. We spent the rest of the time idly chatting while we waited to see which of the others would show up.
'You don't need to look at me like that, I was invited here same as you,' Niragi's voice said, sounding annoyed. A moment later both he and Kuina stepped through the open door. I noticed that today the cigarette in her mouth was a fake one. Did that mean... I excitedly jumped to my feet and waved at them.
'After what you did last time we met, hell, more like everything you did all the time... of course I don't want anything to do with you,' she told Niragi, waving the fake cigarette in his face. They walked further inside, and when she spotted us she smiled and hurried towards us. This time Chishiya didn't escape a quick hug before she sat down.
'I can't believe that you invited him,' she said, glaring as Niragi also took a chair.
'Well, he is a survivor after all, and I figured we all deserved a second chance at life,' I said, perhaps not sounding quite as convinced I should have.
'Hey, I know I was a piece of shit, and for what it's worth I'm sorry for what I did to you,' he said, looking at me. 'And her,' he nodded towards the door and I turned around to see Usagi and Arisu heading towards our table.
I felt oddly exhilarated, everybody was here. Arisu stopped to place orders for them, and Usagi sat down, smiling at most of us, but giving Niragi an icy look, prompting him to repeat his apology.
'I'm so happy you're all here,' I said, then looking at Usagi I added, 'I was actually worried that you'd throw the manuscript in the nearest dumpster, you really did think that I was crazy, didn't you?'
She smiled sweetly, 'Yeah, I still can't believe it completely, even if I know that it's true. It really is crazy, but I remember everything, not only what you wrote.'
Arisu placed two cups on the table and sat down next to her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. I smiled, he seemed very happy and they were so cute together.
'For me it was when I read the part about my fight with Last Boss,' Kuina said. 'When I read it I suddenly felt this sharp pain in my feet, and I looked down expecting to see them full of blood. I saw this picture of all the broken glass on the floor, and after that more and more started to come back to me.'
The others nodded in recognition. Apparently it had been approximately the same process for all of them.
'What about Ann? And Aguni? Did any of you hear anything about them?' Arisu asked looking around the table. Nobody said anything at first.
'You did say that they were seriously hurt, so I guess they might still be in the hospital. Perhaps still unconscious. But they're survivors, both of them. I'm sure they made it back,' I said confidently. 'We can try to go there and look for them I suppose.'
We ordered more coffee for everybody and time went flying as we recollected our memories and impressions from our time together. Considering the topic, we were enjoying ourselves way too much, but it was so great to be together with them again. Even Niragi seemed to get more accepted the longer we talked. He might not completely regret the things he did in the past, but I was certain he would not try anything like that again. It did seem like he was taking his second chance seriously, at least so far. I took a sip of the small cup of iced coffee in front of me, idly wondering if he would ever regain his vision on his damaged eye.
Arisu was in the middle of telling us about the final game, jumping back and forth in the story, Usagi doing her best to keep him on track. The fact that the rest of us kept bombarding him with questions didn't really help him.
'So Mira was the Queen of hearts all along, eh? And the game master?' Kuina said, 'So now that she's dead, does that mean no more games? No more Borderlands?'
'Nah,' Chishiya said, 'she was most likely a pawn, just like everybody else. That means that the real puppet master is still out there somewhere.'
'Back to the alien theory then,' Kuina said, only half jokingly.
We were interrupted by a loud static noise coming from the many TV screens around the room, I looked around, all of them were now only showing static snow. The sound was pretty annoying, then suddenly an image slowly formed on the screens. We all gasped as a playing card appeared, showing a colorful figure with pointy shoes, a funny hat and a wicked smile. It was the Joker. I barely breathed as the card zoomed closer and closer until only the eye of the figure could be seen. Then the image flickered, and the cute animated cats that had been on before the interruption were back.
'Did anyone else see that?' I asked, not wanting to believe my own eyes, but the bewildered look on everybody's faces told me that we'd all seen it.
I grasped Chishiya's hand and looked at him to get an idea of what he thought, but he had his game face back on, and was as unreadable as ever. He did give my hand a reassuring squeeze though.
'Let's not get completely paranoid,' I said, 'not yet, at least.'
Despite my words, I couldn't help glancing suspiciously around the room trying to detect anything out of the ordinary, noticing that Kuina did the same. The rest of the customers acted like nothing had happened, and the street outside the windows were still crowded. Perhaps it had just been a glitch of some kind? A mere coincidence?
'This is all wrong,' Arisu said, 'we won all the games. It's over. Right?'
Most of us nodded, but not very convincing. I glanced at Chishiya, who of course looked as calm and thoughtful as ever, but a mysterious smile hovered on his lips as he gazed up at the nearest screen.
'More games? Here?' Kuina finally asked the question we all were thinking, 'But this is our world?'
'Well, I don't hate that idea,' Chishiya purred as he put his arm around me, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.
the end