Raewyn finds out Kili is the best option she has for anger management and she turns into an actual dwarf
Tw: A chapter being released a literal month and a half too late (oops), Raeli my beloveds. Raewyn has a short anxiety attack, but it's very mild; blink and you'll miss it. Thorin being a bitch even though he doesn't have lines this chapter. Bittersweet moments.
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"Raewyn!" Fili called through the halls, in search of his friend that had long left the throne room.
The ranger had already been moving back towards the gates, smoke practically shooting out of her ears. Would it have been possible, she'd be glowing in absolute rage and annoyance. Even Ori, who had seen her walking from a distance, had turned around sharply, waiting to cross the halls.
"Raewyn!" The blond dwarf repeated, running up to her figure, panting heavily. "Wait!"
"What, Fili?" She hissed, abruptly coming to a halt as she spun on her heels.
Fili sighed heavily, trying to gather his breath as he kept one hand on his side.
"The orcs," He started, "Are they coming?"
Frowning at him in disbelief, the ranger shook her head, ultimately letting out a mocking laugh. "Are you suggesting I was lying?"
Reaching for the pouch on her belt, she slowly halted her chuckle. "I have the letter right here, Gandalf sent it to me." She explained, shoving the crumpled paper into Fili's hands.
"So what will you do?" She questioned, letting him read the letter carefully.
The dwarf let his eyes scan the words as he sought a proper action, or anything to help the kingdom.
"I will fight," He finally mumbled. "We must fight. We have to protect Erebor!"
"I do not care, Fili!" Raewyn shouted at him, her frustration having been pend up too much now. "I will not sit here to defend this stupid, forsaken mountain, just so your delusional king can keep his throne!" Pointing towards the hall, she gave the dwarf a disappointed look.
"I won't do it. I'm leading a party to safety and that's it."
"And shall the mountain fall?" Fili prodded, his eyebrows furrowing together in worry.
"So be it!" The ranger exclaimed exasperatedly. "I am done with Erebor. I am done with your idiot uncle, I am done with dwarves, and I am done with fighting for things I do not want to be fighting for!"
And with her words, Raewyn resumed her path towards the gates, ready to leave the mountain once more. With pleading eyes, Fili ran after her, tugging on her arm sharply.
"Don't go," He spoke desperately, looking into the Asha's eyes. "He's not outside. He hasn't left the mountain."
Raewyn's hands fell upon the words, inhaling deeply as she tried to ignore her anger at Fili. In truth, she hadn't even been mad at him; Thorin had managed to work on her final nerves, and all she had wanted to do is leave, and never turn back. The fact that Fili was working against her now was simply the last drop of water that flooded the bucket.
"If you step outside the gates again, Dwalin and Bifur will be waiting for you. They will take you back to Thorin, and he will lock you in the dungeons." The dwarf confessed, letting go of the Asha.
"For leaving Erebor?" She questioned, surprised by Thorin's actions and commands.
"For going after him." Fili corrected softly.
Raewyn looked up in exhaustion, groaning audibly as she ran a hand through her hair. Looking back down, she glared at the door that separated the hall from the throne room.
"If he wants to kill me so badly, why doesn't he just pull his sword and be over with it?" She voiced aloud, a hidden, but recognized twinge of hurt in her voice.
"He needs cause." Fili explained, looking down in shame.
Raewyn was quick to pick up on Thorin's way of thinking, shutting her eyes briefly as she let the thoughts settle in.
"Killing me out of rage will look bad for him, so he needs me to do something before fighting me." She sighed, to which Fili merely nodded, swallowing thickly.
Weighing her options, the ranger pursed her lips together, leaning her head to the side.
"I'll give him something." She mumbled, walking back to the throne room, but she was halted by Fili once more.
"He's in the treasure room," He spoke, frozen in his spot. "Don't go after Thorin, he isn't in his right mind."
Turning her head towards the dwarf, she stared at him, taken aback by his sudden speech.
"You're defending him?" She wondered, halting her steps.
A slow shrug came from the dwarf, his face painted with sorrow. "He still shares my blood."
"He's delusional!" Raewyn countered, throwing her hands up in frustration.
"Would you kick a dog if it barked?" Fili argued back, to which the ranger huffed loudly.
"The dog doesn't have homicidal thoughts."
"Raewyn," The dwarf started, taking a step towards her, holding his hands up in surrender. "I am doing my best to help you, but I cannot follow you blindly against my uncle."
"So," She started, her voice softening. "Were I to lead the company away from the mountain, to safety, you would not walk with me?"
A painful silence struck as Fili looked towards the throne room, then back at Raewyn. His eyes showed his doubt and hesitation, and Raewyn could swear she would have slammed his head into the wall to force some sort of sense into that thick skull of his.
Instead, she inhaled deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose as she shook her head lightly. She gave him one last look before she resumed walking, no longer making way for the gates.
"Don't linger with him for too long, Fili," She muttered over her shoulder. "Your mind is strong, but it will not hold here."
——
As the ranger stepped down from the steps, she laid her eyes upon the huge treasure of Erebor again. Dwarves decorated the mountains, as they still appeared to be looking for the infamous Arkenstone. Looking down at her feet, Raewyn climbed onto the golden piles, her eyes resting upon the thousand necklaces and jewels beneath her.
"Lass!" She heard a familiar voice echo through the room. "We thought ye had left already!"
Bofur ran towards the ranger, a smile plastered on his face as he threw a handful of coins down. Opening his arms wide, he invited the Asha in, squeezing her tightly. With a plastered smile, she patted his back in discomfort, not sure how to return the gesture to him.
"Still here." She mumbled after parting from the dwarf.
"We could use the extra hands. The Arkenstone has yet to be found." Bofur spoke, his smile slowly fading.
Raewyn cringed internally, being fully aware the stone was no longer inside the mountain. Nonetheless, she managed to hide it, only shaking her head.
"I am not here for the Arkenstone." She explained, scrunching her nose as she saw the dwarf's disappointed gaze.
"Ah, well," He sighed, landing a careful hand on the Asha's shoulder. "Glad to have ye here anyway. The lad is somewhere with Balin, last I saw him. Down there." He told, pointing towards a smaller golden pile in the distance.
Deciding to not question his speech, Raewyn nodded at him, offering him a small "good luck", before walking towards Bofur's indications.
As she walked through the room, she noticed the distressed looks on the dwarves' faces. They were slowly losing their hope and faith, and it had become painfully obvious. The king they had sworn to follow, had them losing belief that Erebor would prosper again, and for once, Raewyn had wished that Thorin would be his own brooding self again.
A strange sense of discomfort suddenly overcame the ranger. Things weren't right, but now more than ever it became obvious to her. A thick lump in her throat began to form as she ignored the helpless looks she received as she descended and ascended from the golden paths, refusing to pick up anything to help looking.
Her breath became more labored, even though the climb had not been that difficult to begin with. Her hands began to shake slightly as the light bounced off of the walls and jewels nearly blinded her. Halting her steps, she sat down, trying to regain her posture. Briefly, she buried her head in her hands, breathing loudly as she tried to steady her rhythm.
"Dragonslayer?" A playful voice from behind her came, causing her to hold her head up immediately. "Why are you here?"
Coins beside her began to fall down as a small bowl was thrown down. The person beside her had sat down, a comforting hand landing on her knee.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
Forcing her head to turn towards Kili, she shook her head once. "This is why I hate kingdoms and regimes," She confided, gesturing towards the dwarves searching through the treasure hoard. "They will follow someone who appoints himself king, even when he could not care less about his subjects."
The dwarf let out a nervous chuckle, resting his head on her shoulder as he watched the room. "He cares."
"He doesn't," Raewyn argued, turning her head to rest against his. "Orcs are nearing the mountain. They plan to destroy the entire kingdom. And Thorin assumes I am lying. He will not leave the mountain for his own safety. Nor will your brother."
Exhaling deeply, the dwarf grabbed a coin from beside him, tossing it down the mountain.
"This is our home." He stated.
"How can this be your home?" Raewyn questioned in frustration. "You have been here for a week, not even. Just because this used to be ruled by your kin, doesn't make it your place."
"I could be sitting on that throne," Kili shook off, trying to joke. "Had I been the oldest."
"I would have kicked you off of it." The ranger returned, her hands stilling slowly.
Lifting his head from her shoulder, he looked at her, a mischievous smirk on his face. "You would have stayed?"
"I am here now, aren't I?" She implied, forcing a tiny smile back.
A silence settled in, the loud clinking of coins heard throughout the room. Yet, the only noise that really stood out to Raewyn was the sound of her breath gradually coming out calmer.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't assume what feels like home and what doesn't." She apologized quietly.
"Oh no, you are right," Kili assured, extending his arm as to show the halls to her. "This isn't my home. But it has potential to become one."
As if suddenly remembering something, the dwarf stood up briefly, checking his pockets quickly. Patting down his trousers and shirt, he finally halted at the pocket above his chest.
"I found this," He explained, fishing into the tiny pocket. "It reminded me of you."
He handed a bold ring to Raewyn, its metal silver, yet where a jewel would usually be, a rough, yet shining red piece was stuck between the silver vines. Though simple, the ring was stunning, and it had nearly entranced the ranger, having never seen anything like it before.
Yet, with pain in her heart, she handed the piece back to Kili. "Thank you, but I do not want the possessions that once belonged to someone else," She confessed, looking down at the object in awaiting discomfort. "Feels like stealing."
"Oh, n-no, I meant-," The dwarf struggled over his words as he sat back down, forcing the ring back into Raewyn's hands. "I didn't find it, really. I, ehm, I made it. You should have some sort of reward for slaying a dragon so grand. And since Thorin will not, I will." He ranted quickly, coughing as he finished his words, looking down at the jewels below his feet.
Inspecting the ring once more, Raewyn's eyes lingered on the strange piece that should have been a jewel, or some form of gem.
"It's a piece of the scale that fell from Smaug," Kili explained, noticing Raewyn's confusion. "It's a bit rough, I couldn't break it or forge it properly. Dragon scales and all that." He mumbled.
"It's beautiful, Kili." The Asha interrupted, putting the ring around her middle finger. "How did you know my size?"
Sniffing loudly, he pointed towards the ring. "I didn't. I used my pinky as guideline. I was hoping it would fit one way or another." He spoke swiftly. "And, and otherwise you could have carried it on a necklace."
Raewyn chuckled at the suggestion, letting her eyes wander over the room again. Subconsciously, Kili followed her movements, watching his kin seeking through the golden piles.
"You are leaving again." The dwarf's voice sounded. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He knew all too well that she wouldn't linger.
"I can't," Raewyn revealed, shaking her head lightly. "Thorin has Dwalin and Bifur stand watch. If I walk out, I'll be taken to the dungeons."
"On what charges?" Kili asked confused, his eyebrows furrowed together as he looked back at the Asha beside him.
Silencing herself for a short minute, Raewyn sighed deeply, looking down at her hands. "He hates me, Kili. Whatever charge he likes."
Once more, a silence struck. Kili was already thinking about ways to let Raewyn leave, while the ranger had her mind occupied elsewhere. The loud clinking of gold and metal had been ever-present, but she had grown accustomed to it all the same. It would not stop her train of thought.
"You need to leave." She suddenly spoke, immediately drawing Kili's attention. "They will not let me leave, but they will let you leave."
"I'm not leaving you here behind these walls-" The dwarf denied swiftly, but Raewyn cut him off halfway.
"Just yesterday you were set on leaving with me. Why change your mind?"
"Because you told me I would be leaving with you. Not leaving you behind." Kili answered immediately. "When those orcs find you and something were to happen, I will regret it until the day I die."
Staring at him blankly, she pursed her lips together, sighing quietly. "You believe the orcs are coming?"
"Have you ever given me reason to not trust you?" He retorted, a smirk forming on his face. Trying to mock him, the Asha raised her eyebrows, ready to give some smart remark.
"Rhetorical question," Kili cut off. "Either we leave together or I stay."
Glaring at him, the ranger shook her head in desperation. Her arms shot up as she took a step toward him. "I hate you," She stated, now pointing a finger against the dwarf's chest. "I hate you and your stupid stubbornness and your awful compassion."
"I hate you and your stupid stubbornness too." He returned with a smile. Looking down at her clothes, his smile slowly faded. His eyes traveled back to hers as he gave her a disapproving look. "You're not fighting a legion of orcs in that."
"What's wrong with this?" Raewyn objected, lowering her arms as to show off the clothes she was wearing; nothing less than mere trousers, a light shirt, and the coat she was wearing for the cold outside. "It's light; ideal for fighting."
"And easy to tear apart." Kili pointed out, grabbing the edges off the coat and tearing it off, proving his point. "You need something heavier. For my conscience at least something around your legs."
The Asha looked down at her legs, raising her eyebrows in question, before looking back at the dwarf.
"You're hilarious." She deadpanned, letting a short nod escape.
"Yes," He agreed. "Only I am not joking."
Narrowing her eyes at him in a joking manner, she took a step back, loosely kicking a leg in front of her as to show them off. "I'll wear leather protection."
"Your chances of finding leather armor in Erebor is about as large as finding a cow in a streaming river." Kili protested calmly, returning the tone she had given him earlier. Raewyn looked at him in silence, almost as if she was questioning his words. Having not expected the silence, the dwarf spoke up again; "It's not high."
"No, I gathered that," The woman remarked, her voice playful. "But thank you for clarifying."
Smiling proudly, Kili nodded, now slowly walking down the golden mountain. "Not to worry. You have the best companion to help you find something in the armory."
"Oh wow," Raewyn mumbled, rolling her eyes as she followed Kili down. "Can't wait to meet them."
"Are you going to be so mean the entire time?" He asked with a grin, shaking his head in amusement.
Picking up her pace to match his step, Raewyn looked at him briefly, noticing his smile. "Only until you say something smart."
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Finding the armory had been relatively easy, seeing as it was located near the gigantic forges. Finding something Raewyn would agree on wearing had been a whole other struggle. How long the two had sat between the piles of shaped metals and reforged swords, neither of them knew, but Raewyn had slowly started to lose her patience. Kili had managed to get her into new iron armor, but she did not enjoy it one bit.
Fighting with the straps on her arms, the Asha grunted in annoyance. She had refused Kili's help, claiming she needed to figure it out herself, yet she slowly began to regret it. She wouldn't admit it to him, of course, but she had quietly begged her to come up to her and offer her help once more.
"This is ridiculous," She groaned out, lowering her arms, letting one arm piece slide down her hand, landing on the floor. "You cannot possibly fight in this."
Chuckling at her struggles, Kili slowly stood up. "Too heavy?"
"The weight is not the problem," Raewyn argued. "The chest piece is too restricting. I cannot fight in this."
At those words, the dwarf's lips formed into a huge smile, shaking his head in entertainment. "That does not surprise me." He merely stated.
Staring blankly at the prince, she breathed loudly, already exhausted because of the lifting and struggling she had already faced. But for once, she decided to give up.
"Help me?" She pleaded, trying to bend down to grab the fallen metal armor. The straps around her arms tightened at the movement, leaving her incapable of extending them far enough to reach the armpiece. In objection, she let out another groan.
Having had enough of watching her struggle, Kili picked up the piece, yet proceeded to place it on top of the pile of already discarded items.
"You did not secure the chest piece as you should have." He explained, referring to the straps around her arms that had tightened.
"You could not have told me that earlier?" Raewyn muttered.
"Well, you did not want my help." Kili pointed out, reaching for the straps secured over Raewyn's shoulders. "You and your stubbornness."
Working carefully, the dwarf unstrapped the belts around her shoulders, holding up the back piece so Raewyn could free herself from the armor. Taking his silent hint, she duck down briefly, letting the piece fall off her body. As she rose again, she held onto the front of her chest piece, making sure it did not fall down. With a nearly pitiful look, Kili walked around her, coming to face the Asha.
"These are supposed to go around here," He began to instruct, grasping the loose belts under Reawyn's armpits, and connecting them around her neck. With a slight hiss, Raewyn turned her head to the side, freeing her hair which has been caught between one of the belts. At her movement, Kili's hands halted, not moving from above her shoulder, but letting his fingers part lightly to let the hair slip through.
"Sorry," He mumbled, slowly continuing his work. "Wasn't paying attention."
"It's alright." The Asha soothed, now holding up one hand to gather her hair.
As he proceeded to work on her armor pieces, Kili pondered over what to say next. Silences between the two of them had been normal, and often even welcomed, but now it felt off. And unlike he would usually do, which was to wait for Raewyn to speak up again, he broke the silence, desperate to change the current uncomfortable atmosphere.
"Should you not wear your hair more convenient?" He blurted out, regretting his words immediately after.
Raewyn's head quickly turned to him, her mouth opened in wonder, her eyebrows furrowed together.
"As a ranger, I meant," He swiftly added, his hands freezing once more. "I can imagine enemies trying to grab your hair in an effort to distract you in battle."
"Which was why I wore a helmet." The woman pointed out, her facial expressions still the exact same as when she turned.
"Yes," Kili tried hesitantly, knowing he was already treading on thin ice. "But did you not leave it in Bag-End?"
"Did you ask Gloin why he did not tie his hair as well?" Raewyn tested. "Or Balin? Or your own brother for that matter?"
"I'm sorry," The dwarf interrupted through a whisper, mentally beating himself up into a little ball. "I don't know why I even asked it. It was a long silence." He whispered the last part, somewhere hoping the ranger had not heard him.
But she did. And she had noticed his freezing hands as well.
"Why do you not tie your hair?" She proposed, her voice now in a lighter tone, dismissing her earlier words.
Exhaling deeply at the sound, Kili's shoulders were released from their tense stance, and he found himself somewhat relieved upon her joking question.
"I have this." He returned, his smile returning slowly. He turned his head to the side, as to show off the bead in his hair that held the upper half together.
"Oh yes, that is completely different than doing nothing to it." Raewyn remarked sarcastically, nodding to prove her point. "Shall I tie it for you, your majesty? Two little pigtails?"
With that request, he was almost tempted to accept it. But instead, he laughed it off, shaking his head as Raewyn proceeded to ridicule him. "Would you prefer bows with that?"
"I deserved that," He voiced, chuckling at her mocking words. "Sorry."
"It's alright, Kili. Truly." The Asha assured, letting her head fall back to the side to give Kili access to the clasps around her neck again. "I know you did not mean to sound so condescending."
"I sounded condescending?" Kili repeated, somehow offended with his own actions.
"A little bit." Raewyn muttered, shrugging her shoulders once.
Now finally picking up his works with the belts, the dwarf decided to make a final joke, knowing there was not much else to change about Raewyn's armor.
"Maybe I should tie you two pigtails."
Snickering at his words, Raewyn grabbed two fists of her own hair to form the said ponytails.
"Would be easy to spot each other on the battlefield." She remarked with a smirk.
Kili merely smiled at her, letting his eyes slowly fall back down on his hands, now making sure he wasn't pulling her hair again.
"I'd easily spot you." He mumbled, now securing the two straps. "I wouldn't leave you out of my sight."
Dropping the hair from her hands, Raewyn looked at Kili with a smile, her eyes almost softening at his words. His arms fell back to his sides as he observed her, nearly forgetting the entire back piece that had yet to be secured. Though her face had somewhat remained the same as when the company left Bag-End, there was a visible change in her entire demeanor. Though she had looked relatively intimidating upon their first meeting, she now looked even more impressive. And Kili quite literally was at loss for words at the sight.
"I take it I look good?" Raewyn spoke aloud, her words confident, but her voice wavering, as if she wasn't sure it was her carrying her speech.
"You look," Kili began, struggling to find the right words as he took a step back, now taking in her entire armor. "Powerful."
Raewyn's face lit up at the sound, her back subconsciously straightening as she pushed her shoulders back.
"Khuzi," The dwarf whispered, settling for his words. "Warrior. You look like a warrior."
"It feels so dwarvish." The ranger mumbled back, her voice hushed as if they were extending secrets in a busy room.
"You look like a dwarf," Kili agreed, smiling at the words and thought, inhaling deeply. "It's a good look."
His eyes slowly ran around the metal piece, making sure all other battle protections were worn properly. Yet, as his eyes met hers, he stopped for a moment, still taken aback by her sudden change of look.
"Now all you need are proper braids." He voiced, his smile now fading as a sudden uproar was heard throughout the halls.
Both Raewyn and Kili turned around at the sound, staring at the empty walls from the hall outside. Grabbing Raewyn's back and final arm piece, the dwarf marched up to the exit of the armory, the Asha short on his tail.
"Visitors?" She wondered aloud, moving around more often to get used to the heavy metals attached to her body.
"I can only assume." Kili hummed, freeing one hand from the pieces of metal he was holding, using it to grab Raewyn's hand to drag her along. "Come on, Dragonslayer."
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Khuzi: Warrior in Khuzdul (Dwarvish)
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