50% backstory accomplished
Tw: Finally some backstory? Mentions of treatments of wounds? Mentions of dirty bandages? Raewyn without armor? FLUFF FOR THE FIRST TIME????? Maybe a sprinkle of angst, but it's not as terrible as usual.
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While the dwarves were busy packing their backs once more, taking the food with them that Beorn had so freely given them, Raewyn had decided to escape the comfort of the big cottage, sitting down in the beautiful garden outside, that had been surrounded by big, stone walls, providing the company with safety. The skin-changer had been kind enough to supply Raewyn with ointment and items to properly take care of her injuries. And though she was not quick to admit, it did do remarkably better than the treatment Oin had given her. She respected his help, of course, but she could not deny the fact that Beorn simply held those medicines she needed most.
Kili was right when he said that Farris had somehow followed them. Raewyn was glad to know that her companion was still safe, even after all the travels she herself had been through. She had feared losing the creature halfway through the Blue Mountains, but there the owl sat again; as if nothing ever happened to her. Farris was resting on one of the trees aside her owner, munching on the pieces of ham she managed to steal from the breakfast table.
"Kili." Raewyn mused, upon hearing a familiar padding across the green field. When she spoke her words, the walking ceased, as if the dwarf had frozen in place.
"How did you know it was me?" She heard, not far behind her.
"I recognized your footsteps."
"My footsteps?" Kili wondered, his voice now holding a slight teasing tone. Raewyn rolled her eyes at his words, turning her body around only slightly to face him, her eyes struggling to keep themselves onto him, yet she forced herself to keep his hold.
"Yes." She answered.
Kili smiled at the ranger, now looking towards the space on the bench beside her, which was currently vacated with dirty bandages and left over ointments. The minute he looked away, Raewyn uttered a quiet sigh, looking down at the grass again.
"Can I sit?" He questioned, gesturing towards the spot.
"Of course." Raewyn affirmed, nodding her head only slightly, picking up the bandages and laying them in her lap. The dwarf quickly took his seat beside the young woman, looking up at the owl, which had already scarved down the remainder of her food.
"I have a question." Kili bluntly stated, trying to regain Raewyn's attention. "But you don't have to answer it. Well, if you don't answer it, you are already answering it." He rambled on, his voice growing more silent with every word he spoke.
"Stop mumbling." The Asha scolded, now resting the bandages on the floor, in front of her feet.
"Right." The dwarf muttered. "Did I do something wrong? You would look at everyone in the room but me when you woke up." He frowned, now looking back at Raewyn, yet she still did not spare him a second glance.
"Was it because I grabbed your hand earlier?" He tried, to which Raewyn visibly stiffened. And the gesture did not go unnoticed by Kili. "I'm sorry if I overstepped a boundary. We were in a hurry and I-"
"You did nothing wrong, Kili." The ranger interrupted, shaking her head at the thought of it.
"I did not?" The dwarf wondered, genuinely confused.
"No."
"Then why wouldn't you look at me?" He went on, and for once, Raewyn did not know what to say. She barely even knew what happened herself. Or what she saw. She did not know what to tell him, for she herself did not even know.
"When I passed out I saw something." She finally stated. "And it scared me."
And that seemed to catch Kili's attention. His eyes seemed to light up at those words. Both of relief and curiosity. "What did you see?" He asked.
"No offense, Kili," Raewyn began. "but if I were to discuss this with anyone, it would be Gandalf. Not you."
"I happen to be an excellent listener." The dwarf tried to defend, smiling at his own words.
"Kili." The Asha warned, now looking back at him, though her gaze was one of joy, but that of a warning. And Kili seemed to understand her, thankfully, because he shook the subject off as quickly as it came.
"Okay. Then we talk about something else." He offered, trying to maintain the eye contact they had finally been holding.
But Raewyn wasn't stupid. Or she did not consider herself stupid. She knew he needed something. Or he was prying for something. But she could not figure it out what it was.
"Do you want something?"
"No. I just..." He answered swiftly, letting his head fall down, being the first to break their contact. "We never really spoke about anything else but the travels." He confessed. "Bilbo knows so much about you, but I only know that your name is Raewyn and that my uncle hates you."
The ranger raised her eyebrows at him, not having expected these words out of his mouth. "You don't have to explain what happened." Kili quickly filled in upon noticing her silence. "I reckon it's really personal since neither you nor Thorin will talk about it."
And those words froze her all over again. Her eyebrows furrowed as her heart seemed to have dropped a thousand miles, her breath heavy in her throat. As if a ton of bricks had suddenly hit her.
"What?" She mumbled.
"Yes, I know." Kili exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "You'd think he'd share stories with his family, but none unless it is about Erebor. But we don't need to speak about it. We can talk about anything else. Such as your favorite animal, maybe?" He wondered, trying to not get Raewyn into any unnecessary thoughts or actions. But it had already seemed too late.
"I really like hedgehogs." He spoke.
Would Raewyn not have been so caught up by his words, she might have laughed at the thought of Kili liking hedgehogs. If anything, they would seem as if they were Bilbo's favorite animals. And not Kili's. But she was stunned at what the dwarf had just told her.
"Thorin never told you what happened?" She questioned, new anger building into her system. After not fighting with their leader for days, now this suddenly happened. But she felt as if she had every right to be mad. Her more than anyone.
"No?" Kili almost questioned, now fearing he had said something wrong.
"He never mentioned me?" The Asha tried again, truly hoping she had misunderstood the dwarf. But it appeared as though she didn't.
"I tried to pry it out of him when we started the journey, but he shut me off and told me it was 'none of my business'." Kili justified, though he did not really have to, for Raewyn was not mad at him. Not at all.
"Did he ever mention my family?" She asked, desperately trying to find some kind of deep buried memory in Kili's brain, but it appeared as if there were none.
"You mean the Ashas?" He clarified, to which Raewyn nodded.
"No." He replied. "I did not even know he knew one of your kind until the Shire. Of course, Amad told us stories of the clan of six when Fili and I were children, but those were simply stories." The dwarf let out a chuckle at the thought, but it disappeared quickly upon noticing the ranger's distressing look.
"She used to tell us Adad knew an Asha. I think she told us to make us feel better about our family."
"No one told you anything about them?" Raewyn shook off, now rising to her feet.
"No?" Kili repeated, though he was no longer afraid he said the wrong thing. Now, he was merely confused.
"That pig-headed, no-good dwarf." Raewyn scolded, her voice now becoming louder, making Kili wince. The woman turned towards Beorn's cottage, something that alarmed the dwarf beside her immediately. Kili rose quickly, trying to reach for the ranger.
"Mister high and mighty." She mocked, now stomping towards the home. Kili ran after her, grabbing her arm rather roughly, though she did not feel harmed by it. "Rukhs shirumund caragu. I will-"
"Raewyn!" He gasped, his eyes widening at her language, spinning her around to face him.
"My family was prepared to sacrifice their lives for his and this is how he thanks them?" She scolded, trying to shake off Kili's hold. But his grip appeared iron.
"Rae, please don't run up to him again." He pleaded, now placing his second hand on her other shoulder, forcing her to stand still.
"They were prepared to die for him and he will not even speak about them?" She fumed, wrestling herself out of Kili's arms. "How do you expect me to let that slide?"
"Please, don't." The dwarf argued, running after her again, grabbing the back of her tunic as he yanked her back, turning her back around. "Thorin will have my head once he figures out I made you lash out again."
"He won't even get the chance to do anything but lie still when I am through with him." The Asha retorted, her hands resting on top of Kili's, now trying to pry his fingers off. "Now, let me go!"
"Raewyn. Please." He tried to soothe, not budging under her squirming, though he had to admit his hold began to fade.
Raewyn frowned when he did not move, her hand instinctively traveling down for her dagger, but she stopped herself halfway when she realized that this was Kili. And not someone with harm in his name.
"Kili, you must understand-" She tried to reason, but Kili interrupted her halfway.
"I don't care what happened between the two of you." He started. "Don't start a war about things that have already happened."
"Is that not what we are set out to do?" Raewyn gibed. "To fight for your kingdom? Which is beyond saving, if you must have my honesty."
Kili dropped his hands at her statement, frowning at the young woman, who shut her lips tightly as she realized what she had said.
"Then why did you come?" He asked, slumping his shoulders in defeat.
Raewyn sighed at his stance, running through the possible scenarios in her head. Why did she join? She knew the dwarves would not even be able to reach the mountain without Smaug knowing, so why was she so keen on coming along? Was it purely done out of spite and revenge?
Raewyn mumbled something under her breath, walking back to the bench before sitting down with a sigh, casting a quick look to Farris, who merely seemed to stare out in front of her.
"Smaug killed my kin before he arrived at Erebor." She spoke suddenly, not yet looking up to meet Kili's face.
The dwarf was startled at her words, turning around swiftly to face her. And just like that, he was at loss for words. What could he possibly say to her? He was glad she finally began to talk, but what if his speech would cause her to stop explaining?
"I'm sorry." He managed out, sitting down next to the ranger.
"Don't be. I never met them. I wasn't even born yet." She shot back, shaking her head. "My parents and four others managed to make it out alive." She continued to explain, taking a quick look towards the dwarf beside her, before looking back to her hands.
"My father had decided to keep a list of those who wronged him. He never was a vengeful person, but after what happened with Smaug, who could blame him?" She mused, shrugging lightly. "The dragon was the first name on his list. He swore to kill the creature before his own life would be taken."
Her head rose once more, staring into Kili's eyes, letting out a tired sigh. "When the calls from Erebor came, he rushed to help them. He failed to kill the beast, but he helped the dwarves escape." She confessed, shooting a silent glance over his shoulder, but when she was sure there was no one else listening, she looked back at the dwarven prince.
"We Ashas never were big on royalties. We think it's a bunch of nonsense. No person should ever have the authority to rule over others." Raewyn nearly insulted, but she stopped herself before she could get into it too much. "But my father managed to befriend the king. And status aside, they got along well."
Kili gasped at the revelation, staring in front of him in some form of confusion.
"I never knew." He whispered, now understanding Raewyn's frustration.
"Because Thorin wouldn't tell." She clarified, bouncing back on his earlier words.
"My father fought at the battle of Azanulbizar." The ranger divulged quietly. "He was meant to protect the crown prince, but when Azog beheaded Thror, Thrain began to run away. My father tried to stop him, but eventually let him go. He would not stop him from getting to safety."
And just like that, the little gears in Kili's head finally began to turn; Raewyn's whole story ultimately adding up. "Thorin blamed your father for losing his." He announced.
"Indeed." Raewyn nodded, tossing a final piece of meat towards her owl, which had now been seated at the back rest of the bench.
"That's why he hates you?" The dwarf inquired, though he could already conclude the answer.
"I can only assume."
"Do you hate him because he dislikes you?" Kili went on.
"No." Raewyn responded bluntly. "It's not a story for now. Maybe one day."
Another silence fell amongst the two of them. Kili being quiet for the processing of all this new information, while Raewyn began to overthink every little thing she said. She knew Kili would not run to his uncle about it. She told him this in trust and she knew he would never reveal something like that without permission, yet deep down she could not help but wonder what would happen if Kili did confront his uncle. Her words rang true, but she knew Thorin would never approve of her telling this. If he had not told his kin before, he surely was not planning on telling them any time.
She could feel Kili's eyes on her every so often, but she had yet to look back at him. She knew the questions that laid on his mind, but she knew he would not ask them if she did not acknowledge his burning desire. And by now, all she wanted was to find any form of light at the end of this miserable storm
"Dragons." She spoke abruptly.
"Beg your pardon?" Kili swiftly returned.
"My favorite animal." She explained. "I like dragons."
The dwarf laughed at her words. A sound so well known to her ears, yet so rare for the moment. A sound that made her want to laugh at her words too.
"You do know we are set out to kill one, right?" He joked.
"Of course, and he shall die by my hand." She spoke dead serious. "But if you were to kill one hedgehog, would you immediately think bad of all others?" She decided to tease, nudging his shoulder lightly, sending him a tiny smile.
"No," Kili laughed. "but I fear hedgehogs are quite different from dragons." He concluded, to which she hummed in agreement.
Kili stared at the Asha, her eyes wandering back to Farris, who was ready to take off at any second. The smile that graced her lips had yet to leave, yet Kili was intent on letting it stay for a little while. At least until they left again.
"Why dragons?" He asked, leaning his head to the left slightly, trying to get a better look at her face.
"I don't know." She hesitated. "They just look beautiful. Each of them unique, yet as intimidating as breathtaking."
"I do think they will burn you the minute they set eyes on you." Kili chuckled.
"I've faced worse." Raewyn justified, pulling on the sleeves of her tunic, missing the feeling of that familiar armor engulfing her body.
"Like what?" Kili tested, to which Raewyn turned to him immediately; her answer short and honest.
"Spiders."
"Spiders?" The dwarf repeated, another chuckle slipping past his lips.
"Is that funny to you?" The woman inquired, raising her eyebrows at his words.
"Never expected someone like you to hate spiders." Kili muttered, but his speech did not go unnoticed by Raewyn.
"How can you not?" She tried to defend.
"They are very useful." The dwarf countered.
"They are disgusting." Raewyn shot back. "With their eight legs and thousand eyes. What do they need that many eyes for?"
"Now, this is simply bullying." Kili laughed. "You hate spiders because of the way they look?"
"And the way they move." The Asha clarified. "And simply stare at you." Shivers went down her spine at the simple thought of the creatures, rolling her shoulders, trying to shake the feeling off.
"Look at that." She spoke, lifting her tunic sleeve, showing her bare arm to Kili. "Goosebumps by simply thinking about them."
The dwarf shook his head at her in joy, happy to have found a way to lighten the tension. Even if it was only slightly.
"What is that on your shoulder?" He jested, pointing towards her shirt. But Raewyn was not stupid. She would not fall for his foolish tricks.
"Kili, stop." She deadpanned.
"I'm serious." He went on, leaning forwards only slightly, brushing his finger tips against the fabric of her shirt.
"What's that in your hair?" She returned, reaching towards the dirt that was covering a small spot on top of the bench. Kili had yet to notice her movements.
"I don't have anything in my hair." He smiled.
"Are you positively sure?" She asked, bunching the dirt up into her fist, still not catching the dwarf's attention.
"Absolutely." He assured, not breaking their eye contact.
Raewyn sent him a smirk, one he had not ever seen her face hold before, yet however rare, it had seemed to fit her perfectly. Before he could even realize something was wrong, a throw of dirt launched into his face, making Kili close his eyes in reflex, wiping the dust out of his hair.
"That is what happens when you joke about spiders, Kili." She chided, slapping her hands together to wipe the dirt off.
Kili merely laughed at the ranger, shaking his head widely, trying to get rid of the dust on top of his head.
"So are we okay?" He wondered, sending her a smile when he was sure the dirt was gone.
"We are." Raewyn reassured, nodding her head, though her smile slowly began to fade.
"Can you promise me-"
"They won't hear it from me. You have my word." Kili interrupted, already knowing what she was about to say. The ranger gave him a grateful look in return, her eyes holding a certain softness that seemed so unique. So unlike her. But Kili could feel himself wanting to look into them for the longest time. And he might have done so, had it not been for the rude interrupting his brother.
"Thorin wants to leave soon." He shouted from the house, staring at the two on the bench while Bilbo was standing next to the blond dwarf, looking around uncomfortably.
"And you still need to get in your armor." He resumed, pointing to the woman as he held up one of her shoulder pieces.
"Drop that!" She scolded, standing up from your seat. Fili grinned at her, gently putting her shoulder piece on the small table next to him.
"Wouldn't keep him waiting for too long." He finished, before turning around, walking back into the house. Bilbo lingered for only a short while, but followed Fili nonetheless.
"I will wait at the ponies." Kili concluded, having already stood up, now standing behind Raewyn.
"Fili is right. Let's not keep Thorin waiting." He smiled, sending the ranger a short wink, before running after his brother and Bilbo, her abandoned bandages now in his hands.
Raewyn dared to risk a little smile behind his back, letting out a relieved sigh when he was out of earshot. The travel was long from over yet, and she knew this, though the comfort of simply doing nothing for a few minutes felt so soothing. Almost as if it had come natural to her. After traveling for so long with no breaks, this moment had felt so pleasant. She nearly did not want it to end. But she knew better. When they would finally get through this journey, she would be able to get some rest.
For now, she'd just have to keep up.
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Rukhs shirumund caragu= Beardless orc dung in Khuzdul (Dwarvish)
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