Conflict? Yeah, sure. Why not?
Tw: The dwarves being dicks/bullying Raewyn (it's for the story, I swear), Thorin being an asshat lmao what's new, Kili being embarrassed/bullied?, Raewyn being her own aggressive self, mentions of traumatic experiences, trash talking about Raewyn, more backstory?
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Walking on a narrow path surrounded by rocks had been Gandalf's greatest idea yet. Bombur had gotten stuck at least four times and Bilbo had had the ultimate pleasure of getting his head bumped against the wall twice. Bofur had tried to lighten the mood by singing songs, but after only a few minutes, Thorin had told him to shut up. Kili had been quite persistent in carrying Raewyn every time she let out a hiss or a groan, yet the woman insisted the she had been taught how to walk and was adamant to use that skill without help.
Dwalin had not once stopped complaining about his hunger, and Ori - poor, little Ori - had tripped over loose rocks and pebbles so many times, that Raewyn had almost told Kili that, if he were to carry anyone, it would be Ori. She had decided to keep that thought to herself, although it did cause her to laugh a little, which confused both Fili and Kili.
"Gandalf, where are we?" Bilbo wondered aloud after a while. The hobbit had been walking in the middle of the company, beside Gandalf, who had been caught up by Dwalin and Thorin.
"You can feel it?" The wizard asked joyfully, looking down upon the smaller creature.
"Yes. It feels like, well.... like magic."
"That's exactly what it is. A very powerful magic." The pilgrim confided, now keeping his eyes back on the road.
Raewyn saw a few dwarves looking around all of the sudden, as if they were trying to find the magic. She scoffed at the thought, but she was quiet immediately after. They were right; there was some form of magic around them. And it was all too familiar to the woman. She had tried to outrun this place many times before, but after many years, somehow, Gandalf had managed to bring her back. How she had not noticed his behavior before, she could not say. She would have doubled back, had it not been for Thorin. Would she walk away now, he was never going to let her hear the end of it. He would claim her a deserter, a coward. So she kept walking, nay; stumbling, though now she was in a much fouler mood.
"There is light ahead!" Dwalin announced. After a long and tiring walk, the company finally reached the end of the tunnel. Raewyn saw the front of the group disappear into light, and she had almost thought she was hallucinating. It wasn't until she heard Thorin loudly complain to Gandalf that she knew everyone was alright.
When the entire group had exited the cave, the young woman nearly groaned at the place the had ended up. "Not again." She mumbled, trying to cancel out the sound of the dark-haired leader and the grey wizard arguing.
"Where are we?" Fili asked the woman, slightly surprised at the impressive sight in front of him. Raewyn studied the keep in the distance while the sound of the waterfalls welcomed her back.
"Rivendell." She answered, now looking back at the two young dwarves. "I used to live here." She explained, although the memory did not seem very fond.
"Why so glum? This seems like a wonderful place to live." Kili spoke honestly, his eyes wandering off towards the grandious waterfalls.
"It is." The woman admitted, shifting her weight onto her other foot the pushing pain of her injured ankle nearly becoming too much. The gesture did not went unnoticed by the two dwarves.
"But it was a home that was forced onto me. I never felt comfortable here." Raewyn added, "It's too calm and peaceful. Almost as if something is wrong." With those words, she looked towards Kili, whose eyes had now been glued to her ankle. "It kept me up for months."
"Do you think the elves will give our quest their blessing? They will try to stop us!" She suddenly heard Thorin boom, and for once, she had agreed with him. She stepped towards the bickering pair, not giving attention to Kili's protests.
"Gandalf, Elrond will not let us pass after he finds out what we're set to do." She spoke up, surprising both Gandalf and Thorin, who turned to her in wonder.
"Unless you learned to read ancient Dwarvish runes while you were gone, we will need his help." The wizard countered.
"Show me the map and give me a chance!" Raewyn decided, though Thorin quickly opposed to that idea. "I will not let you read this map."
"Great." The young woman began, a mocking smile on her face. "So Thorin will not let anyone look at the map and the elves will definitely make sure we will not resume the journey. Great planning you had there." She summed up, her last sentence directed towards Gandalf.
"We have questions that need to be answered." The pilgrim disputed. "And of course they will try to stop us, but we will not get any further if this map is not thouroughly explained." Thorin huffed in protest as Raewyn frowned at the old wizard, taking a step back.
"If we are to be successful this will need to be handled with tact, and respect, and no small degree of charm," Gandalf spoke up for everyone to hear. He looked over the entire company until his eyes landed on Raewyn once more. "which is why you will leave the talking to me." With that, the wizard walked up front, leading the group towards the center of the village.
"What was that?" Kili now wondered quietly, walking towards the young woman as the company of dwarves began following Gandalf.
"That was me going against Gandalf." She clarified, clumsily resuming her path to Rivendell.
"Yes, I realized that much, but why?" The dwarf questioned, offering Raewyn his arm. She looked at him with a doubting glance, but - for once - Kili would not take no for an answer. He nudged her with his elbow softly, making Raewyn scoff before reluctantly accepting his offer. Her arm wrapped around his own, giving her the opportunity to rest her weight against his own.
"Because this is the house of a lord," Raewyn began, her eyes now shifting from the floor to Kili, "and I'm not exactly proper to those who rule."
"You don't say." The dwarf joked, easing a silent laugh out out of the ranger. "Why?"
"You're asking a lot of questions." Raewyn declared, raising an eyebrow at his speech.
"I won't anymore if I get answers." Was Kili's answer, a big smile visible on his face.
The young woman rolled her eyes, looking back towards the path they had been trailing. "It's in the way I grew up." She confided. "In my family, everyone was equal. Those with power tried to oppress us in order to gain our allegiance."
"It did not work?" Kili teased, shoving her a little, though he made sure her hold on his arm remained prominent.
"What do you think?" She smiled back, regaining her balance. "We've had a rocky past with all kinds of lords and rulers."
Kili remained quiet, not sure whether he should resume his questions or not. Raewyn did not often reveal something about herself. For all one knows, this would be the only chance he would get in a few weeks. Yet, if he would continue asking, perhaps she would shut him down again and become annoyed with him. But as he looked back at her, a rare smile shown on her face, her eyes crinkling along slightly, his heart skipped a beat, and his mouth ran before he could rethink his actions.
"Is Elrond one of those?"
And just like that, Raewyn's smile was gone, her usual stoned face now returning, to which Kili silently cursed himself. She seemed to think for a while, and Kili had nearly told her it didn't matter, but once more, he was too late in acting.
"No." The ranger answered truthfully. "He was the first ruler who treated me with kindness instead of intimidation. I guess it's just stuck in my genes." Her face turned back to Kili as she tried to return her earlier smile, yet it had not shone as bright as it had before. At least, not in Kili's eyes.
"He tries to get me to like him, and I realize that, but I can't seem to appreciate him as much as Gandalf does." She conceded.
"Is that," The dwarf began, nudging his head towards Thorin, who walked a few meters in front of the pair, oblivious to the conversation happening behind him. "why you hate Thorin?"
"No." Raewyn spoke immediately, her face falling. "My hate towards Thorin is completely justified."
With those words, no other question was heard from Kili, which made the woman feel guilty, something she should not have felt. Not about Thorin, at least. Yet, the defeated face Kili subconsiously delivered made her grimace.
"He never talked about me, did he?" She offered, squeezing his arm lightly
"No."
"I wouldn't either if I did what he did." Raewyn mumbled, her earlier intention of making Kili feel less threatened washing away as the words came.
"I'm sorry, if it is any consolation to you." Kili tried.
"It is not." The ranger spoke honestly. "There is no bad blood between us, Kili. You did nothing wrong, so don't blame yourself. You cannot apologize for that what you have not done. It is Thorin's problem, not yours."
Before them, the company had already come to a halt, causing Kili to jerk back Raewyn a bit, who was about to bump into Gloin. She sent him a grateful smile before letting go of his arm, stepping closer towards Gandalf, even though she did not do it to apologize to him in any way. The dwarves all huddled together as an elf descended from the stairs in front of them.
"Mithrandir." He welcomed.
"Ah, Lindir." The wizard spoke fondly. The elf showed a tight smile, before looking over at Raewyn. "Tolmiró." He acknowledged. Raewyn did not answer him with anything except for a nod. Behind her, she heard Thorin mumble something close to 'stay sharp'.
"Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen." Lindir remarked, which caused Raewyn to frown at him. "I must speak with lord Elrond." Gandalf said, not answering Lindir's earlier statement.
"My lord Elrond is not here."
"Not here? Where is he?" The wizard commented.
Suddenly, the Elvish horns from earlier were heard again. The company turns around, now seeing a group of armed horsemen approaching along the bridge at a rapid rate. Gandalf dared to risk a little smile to Lindir as he spotted lord Elrond between the group.
"Ifridî bekâr! Hold ranks!" Thorin shouted, the dwarves now holding their weapons up as if to mock the elves.
"Raewyn!" She heard someone shout, but she could not find the source as the horses now surrounded the company.
One of the elves urged his horse to walk towards the three outsiders. "Gandalf." The elf spoke with a smile.
"Lord Elrond. Mellonnen! Mo evínedh?"
"Farannem 'lamhoth i udul o charad. Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui." Lord Elrond spoke, dismounting his horse and stepping near Gandalf, granting him a quick hug. "Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders. Something, or someone, has drawn them near." He observed, holding up an orc sword.
"Ah, that may have been us." Gandalf confessed, which caused Raewyn to let out a small snicker, which immediately drew the attention to her.
"Raewyn Asha, daughter of Raegon Asha. I welcome you back to Imladris." Lord Elrond spoke with a short bow. From behind Raewyn, she could heard someone mutter a 'that would be the first' and for once, she didn't have to look around in order to know who it was.
"Can you hold you tongue for five minutes?" She asked through seething teeth, turning towards Thorin, her stature now high and strong. "Can you stop breathing for five minutes?" He retorted, making the woman see red.
"You speak to me like that again, or so help me-" "Raewyn! That is enough!" Gandalf boomed, dragging the furious girl back.
"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain." Lord Elrond called. "I do not believe we have met." Thorin mumbled, his eyes still trained on the woman, whom was being held back by the grey wizard.
"You have your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled under the Mountain." The elf explained. "Indeed; he made no mention of you." The dark-haired dwarf provoked.
Ignoring his insult, Elrond turns to the dwarves and speaks in Elvish. "Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin." After these words, the dwarves appeared insulted, unaware of what was spoken.
"What is he saying? Does he offer us insult?" Gloin defended, to which multiple dwarves shouted in anger, holding their weapons up in defense.
"No, master Gloin, he's offering you food." Gandalf spoke exasperatedly. The dwarves quickly discussed amongst themselves, before coming to one conclusion.
"Ah well, in that case, lead on."
———
After Elrond had insisted on healing Raewyn's foot, he had left her an opportunity to wash herself first while the rest had dinner. He knew how the woman appreciated her privacy and had offered her her old room, which was further removed than that of the dwarves. Elrond had deemed that the smarter option as she had nearly killed Thorin today when they met earlier.
The dwarves all sat around different tables, filled with greens and vegetables, making them audibably complain and sigh, inspecting the food as if it had been poison.
"Where's the meat?" Dwalin grunted, picking up a handful of lettuce, looking underneath it as if something had been hidden.
"Have they got any chips?" Ori wondered, searching around the table.
"Try it. Just a mouthful." One adviced, though he himself did not seem that convinced that it was actually good.
"I don't like green food." Ori objected again.
"I can't say I fancy elf maids myself." Kili spoke towards the dwarves at his table, a grin on his face. "Too thin. They're all high cheekbones and creamy skin. Not enough facial hair for me. Although, that one there's not bad." He finished, cocking his head towards an approaching elf.
"That's not an elf maid." Dwalin laughed, the others joining in too.
"We know what your type is;" Nori exclaimed. "Dark hair, an unknown species, very mysterious, weird armor, preferably in a bit of a fight with your family member, with an owl as companion."
Now the dwarves started laughing even harder, alerting Gandalf, Elrond and Thorin.
"Stop teasing him." Fili interrupted, seeing the place his brother was in, softly laughing along. Not because it was funny, but because it was polite.
"Come on, you're not truly taken away by her, are ye?" Dwalin asked jokingly. "No beard, no strong build, no humor. I pity the person who's One she is. She never even smiles." He continues, choking up on his own words, banging his fist on the table.
"She does." Kili defended, though his courage slowly started hitting the floor.
"Lad, you cannot be serious. Her?" Gloin asked, his face now changing to one of shock, quieting the rest of the group.
"No, it's not like that," The brunet dwarf said. "but you can't talk about her like that."
"This might be the only time. When she's present, she'll murder ye. Words have to get out of your system." Dwalin reasoned, to which multiple shouts of agreement were heard.
"You cannot truly see naught but good in her. Just one thing." Nori pushed, leaning over the table to come closer to Kili.
"What? You want me to say something?" He wondered, looking towards his brother for help.
Fili was about to speak up, but he was rudely interrupted by Dwalin. "Just one bad thing. It'll do ye good."
"Well, I don't think I could-"
"Why is she always reaching for her daggers when something happens? Talk about trust issues." Gloin offered, causing others to snicker and laugh at his remark.
"She's a nice lass." Bofur suddenly offered. "You just don't speak to her."
The dwarves turned to Bofur. Even Thorin, who had not spoken a word yet, not even listening to the what his kin had said, was now paying attention to the toymaker.
"Aye, it's because we're not crazy, like you." Dwalin countered with a smile. Bofur frowned at his words, not speaking another word.
"We should not hold grudges for someone who has not done anything ill-willed but speak words." Fili tried, taking a quick look towards Thorin, but he diverted his glance the second his eyes met those of his annoyed uncle.
"She burned down our infantry in the Blue Mountains, or did ye forget?" Dwalin argued, to which Nori backed him up with a loud "That's right!".
"No, but we rebuilt it, right? We don't miss anything of importance." Kili now spoke up, trying to regain somewhat of his dignity.
"So we should just forgive Smaug for taking our home too?" Dori pointed out, saying something for the first time all dinner.
"That's different." Fili defended.
"She's a danger!" Nori yelled.
"Aye. She should have never come!" Dwalin agreed.
"She is not evil. She has not done anything to prove her disloyalty." Bilbo abruptly chimed in, his voice quiet, but not unheard. Balin, who had been seated beside him, looked at him in wonder, a tiny smile showing on his face, though it went unseen by the leader of the company.
"And how long do ye think it will take for 'er to take 'er leap at Thorin? She nearly got 'im at the gates today. D'you think that Gandalf will always be around to stop 'er?" Dwalin theorized, his voice raising with every word.
"If Raewyn meant to slay Thorin, she would have done so a long time ago, master dwarf." Gandalf now warned, no longer standing for their words. He stood up, looking over all the dwarves, though his eyes were particularly set on those at Kili's table. His face was stern and intimidating, as it had been at Bag End all those days ago. The dwarves shrunk under his look, simultaneously shutting up.
"If she's set on something, you cannot stop her. Not even I can. She makes rash decisions, but killing someone is not one of them. I suggest you put a bit more respect and trust into your company. After all, you will be traveling with each other for a long while."
As all attention was now at the wizard, Kili took his chance to escape unseen. The only person to notice his actions was his brother, but Fili would not say anything about it. Both of them knew it. Things like that went unspoken by them, which Kili had been grateful for. He knew Fili would cover for him for as long as he shall remain absent.
———
As the dwarves were having dinner - or as far as that could stretch - the woman remained absent, taking some time for herself. It wasn't until nightfall that she came across them again.
She had located herself beside a smaller lake, which had been provided with her own, tiny lake house. Inside, she kept her weapons, armor, books and family heirlooms. Farris, her owl, had returned to Raewyn and was sitting on a small branch, gulping away a small mouse. Beside her, Raewyn was seated on a few blankets, her feet dangling in the water as her hands winded through her hair, braiding her hair in order to secure her father's bead. A few candles were lit around her lake house, yet the moonlight reflecting on the lake provided more light than any of the flames. From a distance, she saw a few elves reading amongst one another while the rest of the landscape remained calm. No breeze was set and the temperature was remotely pleasing. Rivendell had always held the feeling of a dream, yet Raewyn never did feel comfortable there. Something about the place just didn't seem right with her. It was too calm for her being.
As her mind drifted along the waters, Farris flew up, now sitting right in front of Raewyn, as if she wanted to say something. The woman smiled to herself, but didn't turn around, nor stopped braiding her hair.
"Kili." She acknowledged. "If it was your intention to scare me; you failed." A laugh was heard behind her as Kili stood beside her. "May I?" He asked, gesturing towards the pile of blankets that stuck out from underneath Raewyn's seat.
"Please." She affirmed with a nod. He silently sat down and looked at her. Her face was still trained on the lake, but he knew Raewyn was listening.
"Where were you during dinner?"
"Fixing my foot, bathing myself, eating in private." The woman answered. "Why? Did I miss something important?" She smirked, nudging the dwarf lightly.
"Not at all." Kili decided, his eyes landing on the bead laying on her lap.
"I did not know you wore beads." The dwarf remarked. "Can I see it?" He wondered, already extending his arm. Raewyn nodded at him, her hands still busying themselves in her hair.
"Usually I don't." She confessed. "But Gandalf found this one in the troll hoard." Kili had been holding the piece in its hand as if it had been the most fragile thing in the world. It had been freshly cleaned, he could see that much. It was glistening brightly, the carved 'A' now more prominent than before. Tiny pieces of ruby decorated the outlines of the piece beautifully. It had been one of the prettiest form of decoration he had yet seen.
"It's a family bead." He remarked, recognizing the build from it.
"Indeed. How it came to land in a troll hoard, I don't know, but I'm glad it found its way back to me." Raewyn told. "It belonged to my father."
Before Kili could speak again, she interrupted him with a question. "How long did you wander Rivendell?" With a smirk, she turned to the dwarf.
"Pardon me?" "It's fifteen minutes from here to the dinner place and I doubt you would've found it right away."
After a moment of silence, Kili responded with a "You really wouldn't want to know." Raewyn smiled and shook her head. "Then I won't ask."
When silence struck yet again, Raewyn decided to tease him a little bit. "Was it longer than an hour?"
"You said you wouldn't ask!"
"I'm not asking, I'm assuming." She defended, laughing at his reaction. Kili smiled at her, placing the bead back on her lap.
"You look weird." The dwarf said, to which the young woman looked up at him, a questioning frown on her face.
"You look so normal now. Without all that armor." He explained, laughing when she gave him a challenging look.
"Don't get used to it. It is merely to give my body some rest." Raewyn justified, smiling at his words.
"I did not expect to see you in a dress, though." The dwarf jested.
"They are very comfortable to wear." The young woman spoke through laughs. "It is as if you are wearing naught but a warm sheet. I must say, it does feel vulnerable. I feel much safer in my armor, yet there is no feeling that can compete with the feeling of a dress."
"I've never worn a dress, so I could not tell you whether you are right or not." Kili conversed, nudging his head towards the ranger.
"You should. Just for the experience of it." Raewyn decided, shooting him a quick wink, yet she quickly looked away before she could see his face, now fishing for some meat in the puch next to her in order to feed Farris.
"When we reach Erebor, I will give you the most breathtaking dress I can find." Kili promised swiftly, but Raewyn's mood fell with those words.
"When we reach Erebor, I'll be gone, Kili." She informed. "You know this."
"You could stay. There is plenty of room inside the mountain." Kili tried.
"Kili, you barely know me. We met - what - two weeks ago?"
"Then, I will get to know you."
Raewyn did not respond to him. She made a promise to Thorin, and even though she hated his guts, she was no liar nor dishonest person. When promising something, she would keep herself to it. To whatever end.
"Can I ask you something?" Kili blurted out, breaking the silence.
"That depends on the question." Raewyn answered truthfully, but let him speak nonetheless. She would play along with him for the time being. There was no reason to not answer his questions anyway.
"What are you?" She shot him a confused look, not quite catching what he was trying to say.
"You're obviously not an elf or a hobbit, but you don't have the facial structures of a dwarf nor the proportions of men."
At that statement she smiled, knowing he had not been the first one to ask her. "I'm an Asha." She explained carefully, turning towards him, quickly securing her braid before speaking again. "Ashas are a family, even a clan, but we are also our own. I descend from Telchar, who was an important dwarven smith of Nogrod in the Blue Mountains during the first age. Somewhere, we got mixed up with humans, and ever since, it's been in our genes."
When Kili could not find the words to respond, she continued. "Our family still has dwarven customs and rituals....our own language even comes from old Khuzdul, but because of the lack of interaction we had with others, we somehow got our own life."
"Is that why...." Kili wandered off, gesturing to his stubble.
Raewyn laughed at his suggestion. "I don't know, honestly. My mom had a beard, my father had a beard, as did my brother. Even my aunt had a little stubble. Perhaps it just skipped a generation. That, or I'm just a late bloomer." At those last words, Kili began to understand the situation Raewyn was in, yet sought a form of confirmation.
"So, you're technically a dwarf?" The woman stared at Kili, her whole earlier conversation dying down.
"Yes, Kili, I am technically a dwarf." She assured.
"Then why do you hate Thorin?" He interrogated, to which Raewyn gave a very simple answer.
"Because Thorin is no better than the forsaken dragon that took your homeland." Kili had almost let out a scoff at that comment, but stopped it before it came out. "Why? Did he burn down your kin and stole your home with little hopes of restoring?"
Instead of laughing at his statement, which Kili had expected, the woman looked back at the deeps of the lake.
"Raewyn, hide!"
"They will die if you don't help!"
"They don't deserve my help."
"Would you believe me if I told you you were incredibly close?" Raewyn spoke genuinely, now staring straight at Kili's eyes. With these words, she stood up, leaving the blankets for what they were.
"Get some sleep, Kili. I recon Thorin would want to leave as soon as possible."
———
Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen : We heard you had crossed into the Valley. (Quenya/Elvish)
Ifridî bekâr : Hold ranks (Khuzdul/Dwarvish)
Mellonnen! Mo evínedh? : My friend! Where have you been? (Quenya/Elvish)
Farannem 'lamhoth i udul o charad. Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui : We've been hunting a pack of orcs that came up from the south. We slew a number near the hidden pass. (Quenya/Elvish)
Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin : Light the fires, bring forth the wine. We must feed our guests. (Quenya/Elvish)
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