Running off into the wild with strangers? It's more likely than you think.
Tw: description of trauma/traumatic experiences, building tension between Raewyn and Thorin, description of impending (suppressed) panic attack caused by flashbacks, Kili's horrible flirting
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Bright light shone through the windows of Bilbo's hobbit hole. Streams of white luminosity shone onto Raewyn's face, slowly waking her up. She had never been a heavy sleeper, as much danger always lurked everywhere. Gandalf said it was paranoia. Raewyn said it was experience. Whatever it was, it stopped her from getting full night rests.
She had woken up three times last night. One time when Gandalf had come to check on her, one time where Bilbo walked past the hall in order to get some sleep himself and one time when one of the dwarves found the need to use the bathroom. All three times she went back to sleep, yet sunlight deemed her improbable to return at the moment. She yawned silently as she let her eyes get used to the daylight. Farris had already been seated on top of Raewyn's legs, silently trying to steal some meat from her owner. When Raewyn's eyes met hers, she quickly lifted her head and flew towards the door.
"You little thief." The woman spoke tiredly, her voice still laced with sleep. She made a quick observation of the door and found that it had not been locked at night. She smiled and stood up, remaining her balance perfectly for someone who had just been forced awake. She quietly opened the door and stepped out, getting some fresh air herself. The woman sat down on the bench in Bilbo's garden as Farris flew off, probably to find herself some food.
Raewyn had taken hobbits to be morning people, but when she looked around, she found the place awfully quiet. Thanks to her keen eyesight, she saw a few hobbits moving in their houses, but her glance did not linger too long. That would be intruding. Raewyn never considered herself a morning person. She just woke up early without the possibility to go back to sleep. It did not mean she enjoyed it. Usually she would get a quick bath before reading until she started to become hungry. And that commonly wasn't until a few hours.
She also did not consider herself a night owl. When her surrounding became more quiet and the sky had turned dark, she often opted to find some shelter and sleep immediately. Of course, there were times she was not tired, but she knew her sleep was scarce, so thanks to a certain wizard, she had gotten a herb which helped her sleep almost instantly.
Yes, she was not a early bird nor a night owl. She was some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.
Behind her, she heard silent footsteps approach. She quickly turned around and held her hand next to the holster of one of her daggers. When she came face to face with the person sneaking up on her, her hand dropped.
"Would you stop doing that?" Raewyn asked, letting out a quiet sigh.
"I called you three times already. It's not my fault you didn't hear me." Kili spoke, smiling at the young woman. "Thorin wishes to move as soon as possible. He intended on leaving you here, but I think we'll need you with us."
Raewyn's brow rose as she slightly tilted her head, not quite understanding the dwarf's statement. "What makes you say that?" "Well, I heard you come from a family of great fighters, and I wish to see it myself."
The woman remained quiet, completely foreign to the underlying compliment she just received. When she made no move in response, Kili quickly started talking again. "And, I reckon that, as a ranger, you could have some good stories to tell. I'm tired of hearing Bofur's repetitive tales."
Raewyn now shot the dwarf a short smile, but washed it off as soon as it came. "I will not be joining for the company, Kili. I am here to kill Smaug and protect the hobbit. That's it." Kili's face fell, yet he tried to remain cheery.
"If that's your decision, I respect that." The dwarf spoke, before turning around and walking towards the door. "We leave in a couple of minutes." He mumbled, entering the hobbit hole again.
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When Raewyn learned that the hobbit would not be joining them, she almost doubled back. Unfortunately, Thorin had decided to come around and concluded she had a journey to make. Seeing as Bilbo might've not signed the contract, she did. Therefor, Raewyn had been forced to join a company of dwarves, with much adamance of Gandalf.
"It was a waste of time coming here." One of the dwarves complained, and for once, the woman did not possess the urge to talk back to them. If she was going to be obligated to travel with dwarves, it would not be without a certain level of pettiness.
Thorin had been kind enough to offer the woman a pony, but he made it very clear it was not meant for her and, should Bilbo come back, she would have to walk instead.
The dwarves had placed bets all around on whether Bilbo would turn up or not, and - without surprise - the ranger did not join them. Gandalf had been happy to put in his coins, but he knew he couldn't persuade Raewyn. After all, the disappointment and embarrassment was radiating off of her. He took it as a sign that she would perhaps be best of riding alone, without anyone to interrupt her thoughts.
"We should've never come." Another one complained, causing the young woman to roll her eyes.
"Wait!" Someone shouted in the distance, causing Raewyn to immediately stop her pony, making Gandalf halt too. A few dwarves turned around towards the source of the noise.
"Wait!" It sounded again. A hobbit appeared from beneath the trees, forcing a tiny smile onto the woman's face.
"I signed it!" Bilbo spoke proudly, handing Balin his contract. The one Raewyn had already signed last night. Balin looks over the piece of paper carefully, inspecting every word before nodding to the hobbit. "Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."
A few dwarves cheered, but all Raewyn received was a harsh glare from a particular dwarf. She returned him a just as foul look before getting off of her pony. "This is yours." She spoke to Bilbo, already unpacking her luggage from the animal.
"No, no, no, no. That...that won't be necessary." He quickly defended, not fond of the idea of riding a pony. "Thank you." He quickly added, looking up at the woman's face. "I'm sure I can keep up on foot. Yeah, I...I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know? Even got as far as Frogmorton once."
He couldn't finish the rest of his sentences, as Raewyn had already picked him up by his side and lifted him up to the pony. She quickly handed him the reins and shot him a look, telling him to 'shut up and accept the offer'. She turned back around to walk beside the group, her bag still in her hand, not yet wrapped around her torso.
Before she could lift it, one pony passed her, the rider grabbing her bag and shooting her a wink. Before she could say anything about it, Kili had already appeared out of earshot beside his brother. She could see him securing her bag to his pony clumsily before regaining control of the reins. She let out a small laugh at his struggling but made no move to near nor help him.
Small pouches of coins were thrown around, causing Bilbo to frown and look up at Gandalf. "What's that about?" "Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you'd turn up." The wizard explained, smiling at the dwarves that had just lost some of their gold. "Most of them bet that you wouldn't."
"And what did you think?" Bilbo asked, genuinely interested. "Well..." Gandalf explained. Just then, a bag of gold was launched towards the wizard, which he caught with ease. "My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second."
Raewyn looked at the two of them in interest. Not many creatures easily warmed up to Gandalf. He had a kind demeanor, but his wizard feature left him quite impressive and intimidating. When Gandalf first took her under his wing, even she was scared the first few days.
Raewyn was ripped out of her thoughts by the hobbit. He sneezed loudly, followed by him looking for something in his pockets.
"Oh, it's horse hair. Having a reaction." He excused, his fumbling growing more impatient with the seconds. "Uh...wait, wait. Stop! Stop!" He announced to the group, making everyone halt their ponies. "We have to turn around."
"What on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asked. "I forgot my handkerchief." Bilbo continued.
"Here! Use this." Bofur offered kindly, ripping a piece of fabric from his shirt. He threw it to Bilbo, who received it with a somewhat disgusted look. "Move on!" Thorin commanded, making the dwarves pick up their earlier trial again.
"You'll have to manage without pocket handkerchiefs, and a good many other things, Bilbo Baggins, before we reach our journey's end. You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire. But home is now behind you. The world is ahead." Gandalf said, looking into the distance.
Raewyn walked beside the pair, her pace matching with those of the ponies with ease. All those years of wandering Middle-Earth had provided her with great stamina and endurance. Walking for days would not be a problem for her. It would be the climbing of hills and walking over small rivers. Still, she remained quiet and kept walking, silently grateful for Kili, who had taken her bag with him.
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It wasn't until nightfall that Thorin decided to take a rest. Although he didn't say it, Raewyn knew he did it out of spite. He took no short breaks in between for lunch, not even when his companions asked him to. He purposely chose a longer path, even if he didn't show it or say it. Raewyn knew these roads better than anyone else and she knew that he was taking a detour. He was trying to tire her out so that she would leave, but the woman wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
When they stopped, Thorin shot her a look, disguised in a proud smile. He was not proud of her, not at all. He was proud of himself.
Raewyn had nearly immediately found a place to sit and carefully untangle the heavy armor she wore all day. When asked, she could easily lie and say it was her evening routine, but Thorin knew for a fact it was because she was exhausted. She did well to hide it, but he wasn't stupid. Not like the rest of his company.
"Ranger," Thorin spoke up, nearly causing Raewyn to shout out in hatred. "perhaps it would be wise for you to gather some wood for our fire, seeing as you know the forests and all." The woman shot unclaimed king a vicious look, knowing she had a decision to make. She could say no, as her contract did not bound her to get firewood, but she would show the rest of the company she was tired. And that was exactly what Thorin was trying to accomplish. Making her choice final, she shot an mocking smile his way, strapping on her dagger belt which she had just taken off.
"That would be wise." The woman spoke through clenched teeth. She stood back up and sheathed her dagger. She did not look towards the company again, as she disappeared back into the wild.
When she was out of sight, Thorin allowed a tiny smile to pass his face, but it was quickly wiped off when the rest of the company made it clear they were awaiting his orders.
"Take some time for yourselves. Bombur will make supper when the Asha has returned." He clarified, before finding a seat himself.
A few metres away, Raewyn had started picking up bits of wood, stacking them into her arms. Quiet curses of her native language slipped past her tongue, but she made no move to stop them. Whining wouldn't help her, she knew that, yet she found that she deserved to blow some steam off. And as she, unfortunately, couldn't stall her time to get wood, she was left unable to take her rage out on an innocent tree, so words had to do for the time being.
There had been many nights where she had thought of encountering Thorin again, yet none of them involved a scenario where he had the power to order her what to do. It angered her, but she was aware of the consequences she would face when she was left able to do what she wanted to the lost king. The dwarves would curse her, if not kill her. It wasn't worth her time nor energy. She would simply have to manage for the time being.
"Who angered you?" She heard from behind. Raewyn stopped speaking and turned around, already knowing who it was.
"I think you know who." She simply stated, pushing the pile of wood into the dwarf's arms, not giving him a chance to refuse. "Who said I came here to help you?" Kili wondered, looking down at the firewood he was now holding.
"Well, I don't see any other reason why you would be at the exact same spot as I am." Raewyn explained, grabbing new pieces of wood.
"Perhaps I just came here to get a kiss." As soon as those words left his lips, the women turned around, her face even more bothered than before.
"You must either be blind or brain-dead if you think you would ever have a chance." She said lowly, now taking the wood back from his arms forcefully. In defense, he took a step back and frowned.
"It was just a joke." He defended. "Not a very funny one." The young woman retorted, picking up one last piece before walking back towards camp. Kili was left standing there, but Raewyn decided to shoot him one final look.
"A tip for you, Kili. When flirting with someone, try using their desires instead of your own. Might heighten the chance of actually getting a partner." The girl advised, before disappearing behind the trees.
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Nighttime had settled amongst the company as they were dozing off after dinner. Raewyn had found her spot back underneath the tree, now strapped free of her heavy armor. Her weapons laid beside her, except one dagger she kept underneath her pillow for safety reasons.
"Good girl. Here's a good girl. It's our little secret, Myrtle." The woman heard someone whisper. "Just tell no one." Bilbo spoke hushed, offering the pony that had carried him an apple. When she took a bite, the hobbit shushed her quickly, making a ghost of a smile linger on Raewyn's lips. Just then, a high pitched screeching was heard, immediately hardening her face.
"What was that?" Bilbo asked, fear laced in his voice.
"Orcs." Raewyn mumbled, loud enough for the hobbit to hear. "Orcs?" He asked, frightened at the idea of orcs being near him.
"Throat cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The low lands are crawling with them. " Fili explained. Raewyn's heartbeat increased rapidly, her hands shaking slightly, although she hid them underneath the blankets. She considered it a miracle her voice hadn't stumbled when she spoke. Orcs did not terrify her. Memories did.
"They strike, in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood." Kili finished, letting fear pass onto Bilbo's face.
"Sekina, run!"
"Help us!"
"Go, now!"
"You think that's funny?" A voice spoke up, ripping Raewyn out of her thoughts. Her chest had grew tight and her hands were shaking uncontrollably now. Gandalf had shot the girl a look, but she paid no heed.
"You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" Thorin asked.
"We didn't mean anything by it." "No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world." With those words, Thorin walked away, looking towards the source of the sound.
"Raewyn." Gandalf spoke quietly, suddenly appearing next to the woman. She looked up at him and shook her head.
"I'm fine."
"Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs." Balin told the three in front of the fire. "After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria, but our enemy had gotten there first. Moria had been taken by legions of orcs, led by the most vile of all their race, Azog the Defiler. The giant Gundabad orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin." The old dwarf explained, introducing Azog to the already terrified hobbit.
"He began by beheading the king. Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief, he went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him. A young dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc. He stood alone against this terrible foe. His armor rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield. Azog the Defiler learned that day, that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied, and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated, but there was no feast, nor song that night for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few, had survived. And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow, there is one I could call king." During the story, many dwarves had woken up and looked at their leader. All 13 of them stood up, a hint of respect in each of their faces. Each of them except for one, who had refused to stand up from her spot.
"And the Pale Orc? What happened to him?" Bilbo wondered, stuck between fear, admiration and curiosity. "He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago." Thorin informed, looking ahead of him sternly, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular. Raewyn could see Gandalf and Balin exchange looks, but she felt no need to ask why. She knew why. She could ruin Thorin's fantasy right now, but she was not in the right mind. Words, images and speech echoed in her head, not fully comprehending everything that had just been said.
"You need to help us!"
"Drepa avhem gith!"
"Come back!"
Without a word, the woman got back up, fastening the most important armor parts before grabbing her sword and a few daggers. She pointed towards her stuff that remained beside her bedroll, maintaining eye contact with Gandalf, who understood her quiet gesture.
"I'll be back before the sun rises." She mumbled, now disappearing into the woods. Bilbo walked up to the tall wizard and looked at him confused.
"Is she leaving?" He asked. Gandalf looked down at the small creature and hummed slowly.
"Only for the night."
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Sekina: Little fighter in Asyr (Original speech of the Ashas)
Drepa avhem gith: Kill them all in Dark Speech (Orcish)
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