"this is the sequel to the requel, some new fucked up reboot. the motives might feel stupid, but the new motives make the killers more personal, more dangerous. no matter what movie franchise this is, the killers are only going to be obvious in hindsight. it'll be the plot twist of the damned century when they pull off their masks. but that's not the only point to be made. that's not the only thing that makes these movies dangerous anymore. we're part of a franchise, now until the day that we die. and no matter how different each franchise is, everything follows a simple plot and an even simpler set of rules. at least, we feel like the rules are simple.
"i'd explain the rules, but i'm gonna leave that shit to mindy. she does it better, anyways. but what i will warn you about is how to keep yourself alive. keep an eye out on the details that never seem like they matter, because what way somebody's hair fell over their shoulders could help you figure out a hell of a lot more than you would think. trust nobody- you can form all the connections you want, but don't get too connected. that's open to interpretation, but we need to be careful here. if you aren't alert, you die. it doesn't get any simpler than that. always be ready for the next attack; you never know when it could be you. i'm talking tasers, pepper spray, switchblade, the whole nine yards. just fucking watch your back, and maybe you'll survive this one. this new sequel to the requel or whatever mindy calls it, it'll have a higher kill count, more action scenes, less safety time in between everything happening. sure, that's gonna lower your odds of actually surviving, but this is all one big game. you make the right moves, you win the fight. and i'm not about to let some psychos make me look stupid, i'm gonna win this goddamned game for good. what about you?"