Aidan is scrolling through his messages in the back of the cab to Mara's place. She'd booked it for him, an expense he wouldn't have allowed himself. It's about spending time effectively, she had told him, using money to get more out of the day. Time itself has a cost.
Aidan's just happy to be getting paid on a regular basis, using the sessions with Mara to build up the bank account he's set up, to pay for a place on his own out of the backpacker hostel, somewhere modest that he can lock the door on a night and not have to deal with interruptions down the hallway after midnight. It also means that he's no longer dipping into his joint credit card with his wife.
He'd gone through the transactions last night, found himself scrolling through the entries looking for his payments. Instead, he had found himself piecing together traces of her life since he'd left: where she got coffee, where she went out, how often. Rosa would be able to do it too, tracking him. It hadn't taken Aidan posting the picture of Sydney Harbour at sunset, on the ferry with Kat, to tell his wife where he was. No, the finance trail had already been informing her in detail of his movements. Mara's weekly salary was at last freeing him of all that.
Ant had messaged again overnight. Aidan reads it and responds with a picture of himself on the sand at dawn after a run. Ant comes back straight away with a single line: 'Fuck off.' Aidan laughs to himself.
The next message is from Kat, giving him details of when she lands. They have been messaging consistently and as usual the latest is a statement of the facts: time and date and flight number. She's up from Melbourne for work, with a casual invitation to get together tomorrow night after she's done. Kat's keeping it light and easy, studiously not over-committing, leaving Aidan to read between the lines.
There's nothing from Rosa. It's been nearly a month since the disastrous phone call on the beach. Aidan looks at the two messages he's sent since saying that they need to talk, to no reply. Rosa is on radio silence after the outburst on the phone and it still rankles Aidan's guts that somehow she's found a way to justify blaming him. He has built up an image of his wife, seemingly living her best life in her social posts after moving on from the fact of her husband leaving her. The narrative is clear to him, that this is all on him for quitting. Seeing a picture of his wife's beautiful face up close in a post in her exercise top, smiling, felt like a stab in the heart. Aidan knows he has to get past this. It was always going to be hard: watching her from a distance, feeling those feelings but no longer with the right to do anything about it.
Aidan looks up and frowns.
"Hey, I think it was a right turn back there," he tells the driver.
"Not according to the booking," the driver replies.
"Uh, where are we going?"
"Palm Beach, sir. Isn't that where you wanted to go?"
It's odd, but Aidan shrugs. "I guess," he says and sinks back into his seat.
They drive for a while, threading their way up the peninsula until they're on a winding road that hugs the coastline. There is a wide turn and the cab comes to a halt. A woman in dark glasses and a baseball cap is leaning up against a tree. Aidan gets out and heads over to her.
"Hey," he calls.
Mara nods back, "Hi."
"So, change of plan?"
"I thought a beach run today, just for a bit of variety. What do you think? Get us out of the house."
"Sure. No problem."
Mara smiles and picks up her day pack, leading them towards the sound of the sea.
"You're not worried about being seen?" Aidan asks, but Mara just smiles and taps her shades.
"I'm in disguise. It's foolproof."
Aidan can see that she's wearing makeup. It's not much, but it highlights her delicate features. Behind the dark glasses, he can see she's applied a little mascara too, accenting her wide eyes. There are other changes as well, but they have taken longer. Her shoulders have become more defined over the last few weeks with the strength training regime Aidan's been putting her through. She's lost a little weight too. Walking behind her down to the beach, he casts his eyes over her body, noting the shape of her legs and the degree of toning in her thighs. Mara's working hard under Aidan's tutelage and the results are beginning to show.
She drops her bag in the sand and unzips her hoodie, revealing a tight exercise vest in a pastel blue that goes well with her running shorts. Aidan looks her up and down.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks.
"Why?"
"You're going to get noticed."
"What makes you think that?"
She's grinning now, waiting for him to say it.
"Come on. Don't make me lay it out for you."
"Lay what out?"
She's determined to have her way, he can see.
"You're going to turn heads. People are going to look."
Mara laughs, having extracted the admission from him.
"You mean I look gorgeous?"
"Uh, yeah. Okay, yeah. You look really good."
Mara pouts and then looks at him over the top of her shades. She gives him a slow wink. He can see she's enjoying herself.
"You flatter me."
Aidan rises to the bait. "Just stating the facts."
Mara doesn't respond, but she's looking at him, grinning, like there's something else she wants to say. Instead, she turns and begins to jog down to the water.
"Coming?" she calls over her shoulder, "I don't have all day."
Aidan follows at a slow jog. He's gotten used to Mara. She's precocious, but he's learned how to manage that by ploughing a straight line and not getting pulled off course. Today is going to be one of those days, he can tell. Mara's buzzing with an infectious energy that seems to have bubbled up out of nowhere. She knows she's going to be a handful today and she's embracing it. Aidan catches up and falls in alongside her.
They run down to the southern end of the beach then turn around. The sand is the colour of red gold, pounded by the incessant waves of the Pacific, heaped up steeply after a recent storm. There are soft patches down by the foaming edge of the water that they have to dig their feet in, and Aidan can feel his calves beginning to burn. The pace is easy enough and he's running elbow to elbow with Mara.
She isn't talking, she's too focused. He's seen how she gets like this, how the Hollywood personality goes on hold as she hunkers down to get the job done. Despite his initial shock and misgivings about being in close contact with one of the most famous people in the world, they have established a rapport and he's been allowed to see the woman behind the posters; in private, there is a side to Mara that he likes.
The beach is long, sweeping in a gentle arc up to a rocky promontory with a white lighthouse on top. Up ahead, he can see a group of people on the beach. One of them appears to be carrying a large silver umbrella.
"Uh, hey, Mara. People."
"Yeah, it's a beach."
"Yeah, I mean, that looks like, uh...."
As they get closer, he can make out more details. There are six or seven of them, gathered around a young couple in a bikini and board shorts.
"It looks like a photo shoot," Aidan observes, "Maybe we should divert."
"You worry too much."
Mara doesn't slacken her pace or turn. They approach the group and now they're close enough for Aidan to see a film camera. They're setting up a shot with the young couple; a woman is fussing with the girl's hair while a man in a hoodie is talking to them both. Aidan keeps his head down as they go past and it looks like they're going to get away with it, since the little crowd are focused on their work.
"Dodged that," he grunts to Mara.
Mara slows her pace, dropping to a walk.
"Mara, hey, what are you doing?"
"I'm puffed. How about we take a break?"
"Yeah, maybe a little way up the beach."
Mara ignores him, heading up the sand. They've come back to where she dropped her day bag off. Mara scoops it up and turns to Aidan.
"Are we done, do you think?" she asks.
"Uh, I guess, if you want."
"Yeah. Let's grab a coffee."
Without waiting, she makes her way up to the grass with Aidan tagging along behind. He feels exposed, acutely aware of the people on the beach behind them and the fact that he has an incognito celebrity with him.
"We can skip the coffee," he suggests, but Mara shakes her head.
There's a café set back from the beach in the grass and a scattering of people at the outside tables. Aidan jogs to draw level with her.
"It's pretty risky. You sure about this?"
Mara smiles and slips her shades on.
"There, happy? I'm completely anonymous again."
Aidan opens his mouth to protest, but Mara isn't interested. She seems fixated on having a coffee and sitting down in the sun. Maybe it's a reaction to hiding in the house, maybe she's gone a little stir-crazy, he surmises. There are a lot of empty tables, it should be possible to contain the risk.
Mara walks up to the counter and slides her shades up. She smiles at the young girl behind the coffee machine. The girl glances at her.
"Just one minute."
Mara nods. "Okay, no rush."
The girl looks again and stops. Mara smiles.
"Just... uh... yeah. I gotta finish this order."
Aidan watches the girl turn her attention back to the coffees she's making. A few moments later, she calls out a name. Aidan can tell that Mara is enjoying the reaction she's provoked. The girl hands the coffees to a middle-aged man and then turns back to them. Her face is flushed.
"Cappuccino please and whatever he's having," Mara says.
"Just the same," Aidan replies.
The girl nods and is suddenly very busy, concentrating on the coffee machine. Mara pays, and when the girl hands them their cups, Mara thanks her. The girl smiles bashfully, but doesn't say anything. Mara turns away, looking for a table.
"There's this difference between people back home and Aussies," she comments, "Watch."
To Aidan's surprise, Mara selects a table in the middle and sits down. She doesn't put her shades back on. There is a ripple of conversation at a couple of nearby tables.
"It's more like in London. You can go into a restaurant, people don't bother you. They all know, and you get nods, but generally they leave you be. It's not like L.A."
Mara's settled now, sipping her drink. She's slipped the hoodie back on and appears quite relaxed. She smiles at Aidan.
"C'mon, loosen up. You're making me nervous."
Aidan grunts. "It's just, I thought you were not supposed to be in the country."
"I got the red carpet on Friday, so I guess it's time to surface."
Aidan blinks. "Red carpet?"
"Yeah, Prospero's War."
"Sorry, I never...."
"Went into post-production a year ago. I gotta remember what it was all about all over again, to do the interviews. The director's an Aussie so she was keen on Sydney for the world premiere."
"Oh, okay. Wow, I didn't think."
"Welcome to showbiz. I'm gonna be in hell from tomorrow for a full week. I gotta be up at dawn for the morning show, then Friday's the full circus. I'm afraid I'm gonna squander a lot of your good work in the next few days."
Aidan doesn't say anything. He looks from her to the table behind her. He can see the looks. Everyone knows who she is, and suddenly it's like he's back at the beginning again, when she opened the door to him for the first time. In the house, alone together, it had been quite easy as they went through the exercise plan or just sat talking and hanging out. This was the part of her that he hadn't yet been exposed to, the fame. Aidan shifts uncomfortably in his seat, but before he can say anything, a girl walks up to them.
Aidan recognises her from the beach, but now she has a long-sleeve top over the bikini. She's very pretty, in her late teens or early twenties, long dark hair drawn back in a ponytail and makeup highlighting her soft, round face.
"Hi Ms. Fey," she begins, "I thought it was you on the beach."
Mara turns to her and smiles warmly. "Mara," she replies, "Just call me Mara. You are?"
"Pita," she replies, "Pita Appleby."
"Hi Pita. I saw you filming down there. Looked good."
Pita shrugs, replying, "Thanks."
"What you doing?" Mara prompts.
"It's a show. Dunno if you ever heard of it. A soap opera, we film up here for the outside shots."
Mara smiles again, and it's enchanting. "Yeah, maybe I have. Some of the Aussies back home came outta this show, I seem to recall."
Pita nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, it's a bit of a springboard."
Mara laughs and Aidan notices how the other girl starts to relax. "Anything's a springboard. You gotta take your opportunities, Pita. Believe me."
The girl's eyes flick over to Aidan.
"This is Aidan," Mara says, "He's training me, getting the carcass into shape."
Pita gives him a quick smile before her attention diverts back to Mara.
"He's doing a good job. You look great."
Mara smiles again, taking a sip of her drink. Aidan has known her long enough now to see she's working up to something.
"So," she begins, "You guys got a full day, here?"
Pita nods. "Yeah, I got a café scene with Toby and then there's a shot on the beach."
"You look good together."
"Thanks."
Mara pauses. "Where you shooting the café scene?"
"Here. We set up in the corner usually. The owners are pretty good."
Mara grins broadly. "Need extras?" she says.
---
Aidan's sitting at the table with a cup of cold coffee and the remains of a salad on the plate in front of him. He hasn't touched either. He's wearing a short-sleeved shirt over his exercise top and a woman he doesn't know is fussing with his hair. Across the floor, he can see Mara slipping on an apron while another woman is brushing powder across her cheeks. Unlike Aidan, she's relishing the attention.
On the grass, the crew has set up a camera. There's a boom operator to one side and on a table at the front, Pita and Toby are sitting, stripped again to bikini and boardshorts. Aidan is aware of the fact that the camera lens is pointed in his direction, behind them. He looks down again at the plate in front of him, placed there by the set dresser. The woman steps back.
"Good enough?" Aidan asks, sheepishly.
"Uh huh. You're all set," she replies.
Before Aidan can ask her what he's supposed to do, she turns and heads over to Pita's table to begin work on her.
"You look good."
Aidan looks up to see Mara standing there in an apron with a notepad, her hair gathered back in a French twist. There are strands of golden hair blowing across her face. The effect is stunning.
"So do you," Aidan manages.
"It's my job," Mara replies. "You know what you're doing?"
"No idea."
"Okay, it's easy. I come up to you, we talk, I clear your table."
"What do we talk about?"
"Tomatoes."
"What?"
"Tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes. We say it very quietly. It looks in shot like we're talking, but we just say that."
"Seriously."
"It's where the magic is. Just follow my lead, you'll be fine."
There's no time to protest. The director calls out and Mara hurries to her position, leaving Aidan feeling very exposed. He has no idea how he got talked into this, or even why Mara wants to do it. He suspects that she's bored, and a cameo in an episode of a soap opera is just a way of filling the day. He saw how the crew took the suggestion, the way the director eagerly arranged things to make it happen. There's a buzz on set, but there's also good humour. It's outrageous that they have an A-lister working the tables in the background.
The director calls action, and Pita begins to speak. Aidan's too far away to hear clearly, but Toby reaches out to take her hand and she pulls away, her face crumpling in dismay. He's comforting her, as if it's a make-up after an argument. Eventually she smiles.
"Tomatoes?"
Mara has appeared at his table, looking down at him questioningly. She points at the plate in front of him.
"Tomatoes?" she asks again, keeping her voice low and soft.
Aidan blinks, then snaps out of his daze. He nods, and Mara begins to clear the table. It takes her a few moments, but instead of moving away, she stops. Aidan finds himself looking up into her face.
"I know it didn't work out between us," she says in a quiet voice, "But I still have feelings for you."
Aidan's eyes widen and he opens his mouth.
"Before you say anything, just hear me out."
Aidan watches her closely, sees the pain in her expression.
"I know you want more, but this is all I can give. I'm just not built that way," she continues, pausing before admitting, "I wish I was."
Tears form in her eyes and she wipes them away quickly with a finger. She scribbles a note on her pad and tears the leaf of paper off. Reaching out, she presses it into his hand.
"Maybe look me up, next time you're in town. Maybe I just need time."
Mara draws herself upright, and pauses to pull herself together.
"I don't want this to be goodbye, babe. I just want it to be see you next time."
Mara turns. The dialogue at the main table has finished. Aidan is dumbfounded. Without another word, and against the director's briefing for the shot, Mara walks up to the main table and begins to clear Pita's empty plate. With the plates neatly stacked, she walks out of shot.
"Cut."
Aidan unfolds the piece of paper in his hand and reads it. Mara has scrawled, 'You are doing great.'
The noise level comes up, and suddenly everyone's bustling. Across the space, he sees Mara depositing the plates on a table and untying her apron. She makes her way back over to him.
"They're gonna need that shirt back," she tells him, and Aidan begins to take it off.
"How was your first scene?" she asks.
"I," he begins, "I don't know what to say."
"Did you like it?"
The way she's standing, the expression on her face, she's radiating a strange, excited buzz. Aidan feels utterly lost.
"What you said. I guess, uh, I wasn't prepared. What about tomatoes?"
Mara's lips twist up into a little, knowing smile. "Our backstory didn't involve tomatoes."
"You cried."
"I was breaking up with you. You see, even the smallest part has its story. Every scene has a hundred other stories behind it. You just have to look."
---
Later, sitting out under the shade, hiding from the afternoon sun on the back deck of the house, they talk. Mara is clearing away a couple of plates and returns with a bottle of white wine and two glasses.
"No more work today?" Aidan asks.
"No. We are done."
She's been taking calls fairly solidly ever since the cab ride back from the beach. Aidan has been able to glean enough information to form a picture of Mara's agent scrambling to confirm bookings and interviews for the upcoming movie release. As she flops into the chair next to him, she finally seems to relax.
"It's all in motion now," she continues, "The wheels are just gonna turn and turn from here. I think we've earned the rest of the day off."
She pours two glasses and hands one over to Aidan without his asking. Reaching over, she clinks glasses and settles back into her chair.
"You did good today," she observes, "You ever given a thought to it?"
"What? Acting? I wouldn't know where to start."
"Oh, it's not complicated. You just gotta look good, and smile at the right time."
Mara's eyes are twinkling with mirth.
"So there's really nothing to it?"
Mara laughs. "Oh, baby, if only."
She takes a drink, letting her eyes settle on the ocean.
"I started out at eight, got my first break at fourteen. I've been doing this all my life. I've played bimbos and fruitcakes and girlfriends."
Mara pauses, wagging a finger at him.
"I played a season as Lady Macbeth in the West End, in London. That was a lotta fun."
"What's the new film about?"
"A female detective caught up in a drug war. It's a pretty meaty role. I did a few ridealongs with the cops in preparation."
She snorts.
"Beverley Hills, not the Valley. I didn't want to go where I could get fucking killed. I'm method, but I'm not that method."
"Method?"
"Uh, yeah. Like, you read the script, try to inhabit the character. I think you can only bring them to life if you're gonna be prepared to walk a mile in their shoes."
"So you do that for all your roles?"
Mara laughs. "The jilted girlfriend? Yeah, a lot of miles in those shoes. That's less method, more just muscle memory. Bimbos, well, I guess I got treated like a bimbo all my life. I have insight."
"This one doesn't sound like that, playing a cop."
"Yeah," Mara replies, but then stops. She's looking out to sea again, her expression turning solemn.
"Yeah," she repeats, "This is the tricky bit. The valley of death."
"The what?"
"The valley of death. The dip in the career trajectory."
"I don't get it."
Mara takes a mouthful of wine and for a moment Aidan thinks that's the end of the conversation.
"It's like this, Aidan. You get discovered, you're, uh, the same age as Pita who we met today, all bounce and bubble, a bright new thing. You wear the bikinis, you do the bedroom scenes, the camera pans across your body. You play the girlfriend in the romcoms, you don't have to act too much because so long as you got the goods, you keep getting booked."
Mara frowns. Reaching out for the bottle, she refills her glass.
"Doesn't last forever. A lotta girls don't see that part and they just drive off the edge of the cliff. You gotta see what's next. Wives, playing breakups, maybe getting roles where you gotta do a lot more. You work harder. It sorts the wheat from the chaff. You gotta know people, have good relationships, work the floor. You also gotta still look good on the carpet. Even then, the valley of death's sitting there in front of you, when you find you're too old to play the bride and too young to play the mother."
Mara replaces the bottle carefully on the table and takes another big sip of wine.
"Yeah," she muses, "That's the tricky part. Yeah. So, I did Macbeth, I did this film. It's an indie title, but they got an interesting script. It's a lower budget, but it's about pushing yourself out of the comfort zone, taking on new things. There's only a few make it across the valley, and I intend to be one of them."
"Is that what this morning was about?" Aidan asks.
"This morning? No. That was just business, plain and simple."
"Business? I thought you were just doing it for fun."
Mara laughs again. "Hell, no. Or, yeah, maybe there was fun but that wasn't the reason for doing it."
Aidan sits up in his chair, his wine forgotten. "So what was it for?"
"Well, that's how all this works. Here."
Mara pulls her phone out of her pocket and hands it over to him. There's a news story on the screen. Aidan reads it, then looks at the picture.
"See?" she says, "Can't keep a secret, any of them."
"Someone posted."
"Sure, yeah."
"You don't seem mad."
"Like I said," Mara shrugs, "Just read the headline. That's all I needed."
"I don't understand. We've been hiding out here for weeks, and now you're in the news feeds, and it doesn't bother you."
"Scroll down. Second picture."
Aidan obliges. The second picture shows her bending over Aidan's table in the back of the scene. Her hip was stuck out, directing the eye down a smooth, toned leg.
"The socials are going nuts that I turned up to play a waitress in a soap. That picture's getting reposted everywhere. My agent loves it, the studio loves it, everyone wins."
Aidan is still looking at the picture. It's true, Mara looks stunning. The shot is taken from an angle, showing her exercise shorts and her long legs, her face clearly visible. She looks gorgeous and trim, showing off her beach-ready body. There is something about the picture that chills him, though.
"I'm in that shot too," he says.
"I guess."
"Uh, you didn't say we were gonna be photographed."
"We were always gonna be photographed."
"You should have told me."
Mara's smile fades. Aidan hands the phone back to her.
"You don't mind, do you?"
"Bit late, if I did."
Mara holds her phone in her hands, looking down at the picture she had engineered so meticulously.
"Look, sorry. I should have thought."
Aidan shrugs. Yes, he thinks, you should. I'm collateral damage to your publicity coup. He can see in her face that she knows that too.
Instead, he says, "Well, it's done now. No harm, no foul."
"Yeah," Mara murmurs, "Kinda goes with the territory. If it helps, you just look like an extra."
"I guess no-one will be looking at me, hey?" Aidan replies, forcing a smile.
Mara smiles back. "Nah, they're all just gonna be looking at my amazing ass."
She leans towards Aidan, raising her glass in a toast.
"To your good work, and its dividends," she announces.
Aidan clinks his glass against hers, and the awkward moment passes. Mara's mood lifts again.
"Music," she bellows, "We need music."
Aidan raises his eyebrows.
"Pool party!" she exclaims, getting up from her seat.
Again, he's struck by the way her moods change, and finds himself carried along by her momentum. She heads inside and begins fiddling with her phone. The speakers come to life, emitting the steady bass thud of a dance track. Mara stalks back over to Aidan.
"Let's go," she says, emptying her wine glass, "Pool!"
Aidan gets to his feet, but hesitates.
"You got anywhere better to be, Aidan?"
She's dancing now, gyrating to the music, picking up the bottle to refill her glass again. He can sense that today was a big day for her, that somehow, unknown to him, there was a plan and it's all worked out. A single picture of her on a news feed has made all the difference.
"I guess not," he replies and Mara steps up close to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Her beautiful face is close, grinning at him.
"Just don't get it, do you?" she laughs.
"No."
"It's pretty simple, Aidan. There are a bunch of fuckers gonna be sitting around the boardroom table tomorrow morning in L.A. looking at that picture, looking at the buzz. Then they're gonna sign the contract. It's just about exposure. They need to know they're buying the right merchandise. You did good. Now get in the water."
Mara pulls her shirt over her head to reveal a bikini top underneath. She shimmies her shorts down her legs and strikes a pose.
"Let's go," she grins, and heads over to the edge of the pool.
Mara sets her glass down on the side and dives into the cool blue water. Aidan bunches his hands in his t-shirt and after a moment of uncertainty, begins to strip himself down to his exercise shorts.
"Come on in!" she calls, splashing.
Aidan follows her to the edge and sets his own glass down next to hers. He stands there, looking down at her. Mara floats on her back in the water, smiling up at him.
"Come on Aidan," she calls, "Don't think about it. Just dive in."
Her smiles widens. Aidan's stomach flutters, but it's not from the drink. He throws himself forward into the water.
Later, they are stretched out on the sun loungers looking up at the sky. The clouds are high and fine, threaded through with orange and pink as the sun sets. On the little table between them is another empty bottle. Aidan closes his eyes for a moment, feeling the buzz of the alcohol and the damp of his shorts against his skin. The music has mellowed into ambient tracks and Mara has fallen silent.
"This is your life," Aidan murmurs.
"Yep."
"It's insane."
"Yep."
"I couldn't live like this," Aidan confesses.
"Sure you could. It's pretty simple, it just takes practice."
"Seems way too complex for me."
Mara folds her arms behind her head, stretching out on the lounger and looking up at the sky.
"Friend of mine said to me that's it's just like running a business, except the product you're selling is you. Ever run a business, Aidan?"
"Yeah."
"What did you do?"
"A fitness gym."
"Ah," Mara responds, "Figures. Lotta hours, though. Right?"
"Yeah."
Aidan is watching the clouds, but he's thinking about Rosa. She feels a long way away.
"So, what happened?"
"I came here."
"No, I mean what happened that meant you're here and not there? Who's running it while you're gone?"
"My wife."
Aidan keeps his voice level. He doesn't want to talk about it, but with the wine and the relaxed music and the sunset, it's just slipped out. Mara pauses.
"Ah, shit," she murmurs, "I get it. Shit, dude, I'm sorry."
"No problem. Me too."
Mara doesn't reply. The music hums along in the background and there's a faint swirl of the breeze coming up from the sea, far below.
"Life is fucking complicated," Mara observes.
"And you, why are you here?" Aidan asks.
"Same, same. More or less. Had to get the fuck out of L.A. and get some space."
"Break up?"
"You really don't know?"
"Nah. Imagine I don't keep up with the showbiz feeds."
"Oh, man, I wish I knew more people like you," Mara chuckles to herself.
"Was it an epic bust up?"
"Really? I kinda guess not. He was looking for something and I couldn't provide it."
Aidan thinks back to the scene at the table in the morning, how Mara's eyes had filled with tears.
"You mean he wanted more from your relationship, but you just couldn't open up?"
Aidan feels pleased with himself at the insight, liking the way that they're talking. It's good to see the woman behind the image, behind the craziness. She shocks him by laughing.
"Oh, fuck no. He wanted co-producer credits on a project I was involved with. It was, uh, more of a transactional relationship."
Aidan suddenly feels stupid, and remains silent. Mara sighs to herself.
"Aidan, I would have loved for it to be about that. Truth is, it's never about that. It's always about something else. Sometimes, it's just about being a notch on someone's fucking belt."
Her tone sours and Aidan looks across at her. Mara's staring up at the clouds, solemn.
"You know how hard is it to meet someone? Then, imagine trying to do that when your face is on billboards. Imagine how you build a real connection in that kind of world."
Mara props herself up on her elbow and reaches for her half-empty glass. She downs the wine in one, her face crumpling.
"Can I ask you something, Aidan? And you have to give me a straight answer."
Aidan nods, looking into clear blue eyes.
"When was the last time you made love?" she asks, "And I mean love, not fucking."
His mind shifts instantly to Rosa, scanning back through the end of their time together, through the bullshit. If that's Mara's point then she's made it well. He recalls Kat's face as they were laid side by side in bed in the hotel: that look.
"A few weeks back. She came up from Melbourne for her friend's wedding."
"What's her name?"
"Kat."
Mara nods. "Kat. Okay, she sounds nice."
She places the glass back on the table and lays down again.
"How about you?" Aidan asks.
He sees Mara's lips turn up in a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"Fucking? Well a few weeks back too. We were fucking quite regularly and then I got on a plane."
"What about love?"
Mara doesn't answer immediately. Instead, she closes her eyes.
"Years and years and years," she says.
All at once, she sits up, moving so quickly that it catches Aidan by surprise.
"Red carpet," she exclaims, "You need to tell me."
Mara hauls herself to her feet, reeling to one side before correcting her balance. Her face is set, determined.
"Stay there," she tells him, "Or at least, stay down here. I gotta change."
Suddenly, she's in motion, weaving around the side of the pool unsteadily and threading her way back into the house. Aidan watches her disappear up the stairs and reluctantly pulls himself up from the lounger. He picks up the glasses and the bottles and begins to tidy away the empties into the kitchen. The wine has affected him too; after so long without drinking, his alcohol tolerance is way down. He fumbles with the bottles as he puts them into the bin. Mara is gone a while, and he finds himself propped up against the glass balustrade watching the waves crash into the rocks below when he hears movement behind him.
"Eyes closed," Mara orders, "Then turn around."
Obediently, he does as she asks, waiting patiently.
"Okay, open."
He opens his eyes. Mara is standing in front of him in a strapless white silk gown. Her hair is gathered up, leaving her graceful neck and shoulders bare. The dress has a high slit and Mara's standing with one leg forward, emerging through the slit to outline the toned shape of her leg against the silk.
"Whaddya think?"
Aidan blinks, clearing his head. "Wow," he mutters.
"Really?"
"Yeah, really. You look fabulous."
She goes up on tiptoes, trimming her shapely calves.
"Imagine with strappy sandals, maybe a four-inch heel. I don't have those yet."
"Even just barefoot, you look amazing."
Aidan looks her up and down. When his eyes lock on hers, he finds a strange emotion flickering across her face. He can tell she's inebriated, but it's more than that. Her eyes are glittering in the dusk.
"It's partially the drape," she says, "But mostly the scaffolding."
Aidan frowns.
"Let me show you what I mean," Mara explains.
She reaches behind her back and Aidan hears a zip. She wiggles her torso, and the dress tumbles down towards her hips, baring her breasts. She smooths the silk over her hips and lets it fall in a sleek, white puddle of material around her ankles. Mara stands there, nude, her eyes locked on his.
"See?" she whispers, "Want to check?"
Without waiting for a response, she approaches him, reaching out to place one hand softly against his chest.
"You know what happens next, yeah?"
She isn't smiling anymore, her blue eyes searching his, earnestly. Aidan remains silent and Mara descends to her knees on the white paving, her hand tracing down his torso until it's resting on the waistband of his shorts.
"You've been in these all day," Mara murmurs as her fingers begin to explore the folds of fabric.
Aidan feels her fingertips brush against the side of his manhood and, despite himself, he begins to stir. Her fingers trace upwards, around him. She knows exactly what she's doing, and Aidan feels his resolve crumbling. He has a beautiful naked woman kneeling in front of him, exploring his body tenderly. When she slides her fingers into the waistband of his shorts and begins to tug downwards, he doesn't resist.
"Ah, that's better," she purrs, sliding his shorts down his legs, stripping him naked too.
Her eyes are locked on his groin and Aidan waits for her hands to reach up and begin to explore his body. The moment she touches his skin, he feels himself surge to life, stiffening beneath her probing fingertips. Mara looks up at him and smiles seductively.
Aidan watches in disbelief as she leans forward, cupping his balls with one hand before delivering a soft kiss on his firming shaft. The fingers of her other hand encircle his root and as he surged to full erectness, she purses her lips together and blows a steady, warm stream of breath over his tip.
"Remember what you signed," she murmurs, "Remember? You can't kiss and tell, not if you don't want me to own these."
She squeezes his balls gently in emphasis.
"You're not gonna tell, are you?"
Aidan has to clear his throat. His mouth has gone dry. "Uh, no," he grates.
"Good."
"Just, there's one thing," Aidan stammers, "I don't have any protection with me."
Mara leans forward to place a kiss on his tip. It sends shivers of pleasure through his groin.
"Oh, that's okay. There's no risk of getting me pregnant."
Aidan's eyes are fixed on her mouth as she speaks. He watches as she purses her lips and delivers another kiss. Aidan groans in response.
She pulls back and says, "You wanna fuck me, Aidan?"
He's mesmerised by her blue eyes. "Yeah," he groans.
Mara stands up, but she doesn't let go of his balls. She presses herself against him. Her face is right in front of his now.
"You been thinking about what nasty things you could do to me?"
Mara smiles predatorially.
"You been so close to me all these weeks. You wanna do something wild?"
She kisses him, her tongue slipping between his lips. At the same time she goes up on her tiptoes, holding him in position with her other hand. When he feels the moist warmth of her descending onto him, it's a surprise. She pushes down, taking him all the way into her, effortlessly.
Mara releases her grip and wraps her arms around Aidan's neck, pressing her naked body against his even as she envelopes his manhood within her. She squeezes him, her walls clenching, and it feels amazing.
"There," she purrs, "That's so much better, isn't it? You like that?"
She contracts around him again, and Aidan nods.
"Now, I want you to fucking take me."
Aidan's hands slide down her skin, cupping the orbs of her buttocks in his palms as he supports her body weight and lifts her back onto her tiptoes, raising her up off his manhood. It gives him enough room to move, thrusting upwards into her.
"Yeah," Mara sighs, "That's good. Yeah, however hard you like. You won't break me."
At her encouragement, he starts to drive harder into her, feeling her body respond immediately. Part of him can't believe he's actually doing this, but the other part is taking over now, the instinctive part that just wants to fill her. She can sense it too, making little grunting noises at each thrust. She buries her face in his neck and he can feel the heat of her breath on his skin.
"That feels so fucking good. C'mon, harder."
Aidan lifts her up further, supporting all her weight in his hands, and she wraps her legs around his thighs to brace herself in position. He drives harder into her, until his balls are slapping against her skin with each thrust. He feels her body shift and writhe in his arms. Her teeth nick his earlobe and she breathes into his ear.
"Take me from behind," she rasps.
Aidan drops her back down onto her feet and she uncoils herself from him to grasp the edge of the glass balustrade, bent over with her bottom in the air and her legs apart. Aidan positions himself between her legs, his fingers curling around her hips to brace himself before sliding into her again.
"Oh fuck," Mara gasps, "Yeah... just like that. Do it."
From behind, he has better leverage and he begins to pound into her, burying himself to the root inside the beautiful body in front of him. It sends Mara into a paroxysm of pleasure, her groans reaching a crescendo before suddenly contracting around his manhood in powerful, quivering spasms as her orgasm erupts.
Aidan stalls, but Mara's hand reaches back to grab his wrist, squeezing it tightly.
"Don't stop," she growls, even as he can feel the aftershocks coursing through her, "Don't stop until you got what you want."
He thrusts into her again, and she responds with, "Yeah. Take what you need, take it from me."
The gravelly, desperate tone of her voice triggers something deep inside Aidan's brain, and he leans into it, bringing his weight to bear with each thrust, feeling Mara push back to meet him. She's moaning again, building up to her next orgasm, and Aidan feels the deep, undeniable tension in his own core at the exquisite feeling of sliding into her. His body yearns for release, to fill her. Mara senses this too, her nails digging into the flesh of his wrist.
She rips his hand off her hip, pulling it up to her neck and pushing his palm against her throat.
"Do it," she pants, her breath coming in little bursts now as she nears her climax.
Her fingers press against his, closing around her neck. She squeezes, until he can feel the tendons in her neck bulging beneath the skin as his fingers wrap around her throat.
"Harder," she grates.
Aidan's abdominals burn with the strain of his onslaught on her body, and he complies, squeezing her neck. He can feel her trying to swallow, trying to snatch a breath. He doesn't know why he's doing it, other than he can feel her hand still over his as he chokes her. Mara is almost silent now, gagging, but then her body goes rigid and she clamps around him harder than she did before.
He feels her muscles lock as she climaxes again, but this time it's an all-consuming, full-body experience for her. She is so tight around him that he can't hold on, and he tips over the edge into his own climax, erupting deep inside her.
Mara's legs give way and he releases his grip on her throat, sliding out of her and tucking an arm under her waist so he can lower her quickly down onto a sun lounger. He holds her there, feeling her ribcage expand and contract as she presses herself against him. Her eyes are wide and wild, staring at him as if in amazement.
Moments pass, and Aidan feels his pulse beginning to drop again. Mara is recovering too, holding a hand against her throat, stroking the reddened skin gently. Aidan can't quite believe she wanted him to do that to her, or that he complied. He can't believe she wanted to have sex with him at all. Everything moved so fast. Mara looks at him and grins, the same familiar expression that he's used to seeing from her. She's back from wherever she's just been, back in control again. She sits up, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her skin is slick with perspiration.
"Want another drink?" she purrs, "I'm gonna have one."
"No," Aidan breathes, watching as she pads naked across the paving into the house.
"Suit yourself," she calls over her shoulder.
Aidan stretches out on the lounger, looking upwards. The first pinpricks of stars are appearing in the dark blue firmament. The ocean breeze curls around his naked body, brushing over his skin. It feels like a long time has passed since this morning. It feels like an eternity since he left home.