Our town had a festival each March to show crafts and artwork of our locals. Elaine and I planned to go together. I still didn't have much energy, but I knew I needed to be social and get my mom to think I was doing fine. And I was doing fine; I woke up early, I meditated, I had a healthy breakfast and a big cup of coffee, and I went with Elaine.
I wasn't expecting to see Logan because the craft fair didn't really seem like his scene. But there he was, standing right in front of me, though I felt worlds away from him. He saw right through me, and I looked behind me to Elaine. She was smiling at him.
"What are you doing?" I asked her, pissed off. I felt my face get hot as blood rushed into my cheeks.
"What do you mean?" She asked, breaking eye contact with him to look at me.
"That glance, what the hell was that?" I spit out.
"Jesus Liz, calm down. We're just kind of friends." She looked down as she said it. She couldn't face me.
"You're kidding," I laughed. "No. No you are not," I said.
"I know how he was with you but he's not like that with me, Lizzy." She was serious, she was dead serious. "I kissed him," she admitted. I had heard enough, too much. I walked out of the building and called my mom to pick me up. I told her I'd gotten a headache and that I simply needed to rest and have some tea. She didn't need to know that I felt like throwing up, that I felt like I was capable of murder. Nobody needed to know. I blocked Elaine's number and all of her socials so that she couldn't reach me. I would sit in new seats in our classes, our teachers would be happy about that. She didn't get a second chance, not with something like that.
My best friend, the girl who brought me back to life, she bathed me when I could not move, she played with my hair until I fell asleep, she laughed with me every day for two years, I had seen her naked and she had seen me naked, we knew all of each other's secrets and what made each other cry, and all of the sudden we were strangers, never to speak again. Nothing had prepared me to lose that friendship. When I got home I pulled out my favorite book and began to read it for the 20th time; Nobody's Cuter Than You. It was the only friend that had stuck around all these years, my trusty book. I had brought it to Logan's house a few times, but it remained untouched by his darkness, unlike me. It was basically in pieces, but I didn't mind. After all, I was only made of pieces too. Little fractions that scattered throughout the universe, never to unite again.