2005(Kahar form 4):
Mama walked through the gym's door with her men. I could already feel the rage multiply.
"Sapa round dulu?" Rahmat tanya. "Kahar."
Rahmat angguk. "Kalau Kahar tumbang?" He asked while looking at Kahar. "Kalau Kahar tumbang, aku kena menang dua kali against mama. Baru aku menang. Standard lah."
Rahmat angguk tanda faham. Budak yang mama bawak tu, bukan mamat pagi semalam. Nampak muda.
"Kahar?" I called him. Kahar turned around and looked at me. He tried to look cool but his eyes screams panic. "Ini bukan KUDRAT. Semua boleh pukul." Kahar angguk. "Relax. You'll be fine." I reassured him. He nodded.
Budak yang mama bawak tu masuk gelanggang. Sorakkan dari semua orang makin kuat. Budak ni famous ke?
"Boleh, sayang. Jangan risau." I reassured him. Kahar nodded again and walked into the gelanggang.
Kahar took of his shirt.
Rahmat ikut masuk gelanggang. "Sedia?" Dia tanya kedua pihak. Budak mama angguk, Kahar pon ikut.
"Mula!"
Right there and then the guy kicked Kahar at his side. He's fast. Kahar was unfazed. It must've hurt but he kept a straight face.
Kahar went in, punching the guy everywhere but his face. The guy was a fast thinker, he dodged most of the punches.
The guy took a hold of Kahar and flipped him to the ground. Kahar let out a loud grunt. The bruises from manifesto a few days ago was still there. The guy pinned him down, chocking Kahar with his leg.
Kahar struggled and struggled, his face turned red.
He somehow made it out. He flipped the guy back and kicked him in the stomach. Again and again. Kahar then chocked the guy with his arm. Locking him there.
"Tap out la bangsat!" Kahar began to panic. The guy's face is almost blue.
The guy was having trouble breathing. It was obvious that he's losing.
"I. Rather. Die." He breathed out before he stops moving completely . Kahar let go of him.
Kahar is shocked of what he's done. Rahmat went up to the ring and held Kahar's hand up. "Round 1 Kahar menang!" Dia announced. The whole crowd cheered. Kahar however stayed quiet. His eyes are widened even when he's out of the ring.
"Kau ok?" I asked him. Kahar's eyes were following mama's men. They were picking up the unmoving boy.
"Dia mati ke?" He asked. "Tak. Aku rasa dia hidup."
"Tapi?" He knows me too well.
"Tapi aku rasa mama nak let go dia." Geng mama memang ada repotasi. Kalau fighter kalah, fighter tu has no good reason to be kept in the gang. You can't just leave a gang.
Kahar looked shaken. Shaken by the reality that I live in. "Stay here." I told him while looking at mama. She already has her coat hung up. Her short hair clipped up. She's ready.
I left my hoodie by Kahar's side. Aku melangkah masuk ke gelanggang. Mama dah berdiri depan aku.
"Ready?" Mama tanya as if mengejek aku.
"Memang bangkai kau malam ni, celaka!"
Rahmat wasn't sure what to say except.
"MULA!"
Mama charged towards me. Her hands curled up into a fist. The same fist yang tumbuk aku masa kecil dulu.
Tapi aku dah besar.
I dodged her and punched her in the face. She stumbled back, her nose bled a little.
"Sakit?" I asked her and tried to punch her again but she held my arm and twist it.
"Sakit?" She asked me in the same tone. She was about to knee my hand and break it. Tapi aku dah pandai.
I got out of her grasp. Correcting my posture and try to pin her down. She pushed me to the side of the ring. Mama punched me right on my eye.
"Brings back memories huh?" She teased.
"Diam ah barua" I shouted and pushed her back. I tried to punch her in the stomach but failed. Instead she kneed me in my stomach. Senak perut aku gila.
She took this chance to pin me down and punched me more in my face. I held my hands up to prevent her tapi berapa lama ja aku boleh tahan.
aku tak boleh tumbang
Aku tak boleh tinggal Kahar.
I yelled at the top of my lungs and forced myself to get up. I punched her in the face. I tried. I got a grasp of her face and pushed my thumb into her eye.
I rolled over. Taking her with me. I punched her face. Again and again.
For all the times yang dia menyusahkan hidup aku.
For all the scars yang dia toreh.
For all the bullshit yang aku kena hadap.
"AKU BENCI KAU LA HANAT! MAMPUS KAU BIAR JADI BANGKAI. SUNDAL!"
I couldn't hear anything. All I felt was rage. Aku dah tak nampak gelanggang. Aku dah tak dengar sorakkan. Yang tinggal cuma aku. Aku dan mama. Mama yang pukul aku. Mama yang hilang. Mama yang tinggal aku. Mama yang selamatkan semua orang kecuali aku.
"Sudah sayang. Sudah." I could hear Kahar. I could feel his arm on my shoulder. I felt him pulling me by my shoulders.
I looked down to see mama half conscious. I know she couldn't get up. "She tapped out."
"Kau dengar sini. Kalau kau datang lagi tempat ni. Aku bunuh kau." Aku pesan ke mama sebelum completely slumped my whole body against Kahar.
"IBU. LARA. TUMBANG!" Rahmat jerit. The crowd cheered.
Aku dah tak kesah. "Office." I mumbled to Kahar. He nodded. Took my hoodie with him. Dia masih papah aku dan terus papah aku ke office.
I placed me gently on the couch. "Mana med kit?" Kahar asked while looking through all the drawers. "The one on the left. Second from bottom." I told him.
Kahar angguk dan keluarkan med kit. "Ada ice pack aku sediakan. Letak kat mata awak sayang." Kahar said and pointed at the ice pack. "Baring please sayang." Kahar said. Despite the piercing light, I opened my eyes to look at him. Dahi dia berkerut, muka dia risau sangat. Risaukan aku. Mata dia dah berkaca.
I placed my palm on his cheek. "Aku tak tumbang. Tempat ni aku punya. Aku tak payah pergi." I mumbled to him and eventually closed my eyes.
I could feel his bigger hand on mine. Kahar nodded. "I love you, sayang." He said before kissing the back of my hand. So desperately, as if aku akan hilang.
I could feel the cold pack of ice being placed on my eyes. I could feel Kahar's hands trying to fix whatever bruises I have. "My sweet, sweet boy." I mumbled. Kahar stopped for a second. I heard a sniffle.
"Gempak do kau Kahar! Kau pun y/n!" I hissed at the loud voice. Hakeem. Confirm. Dia memang fun tapi sekarang dia contribute to my headache.
"Bukan sekarang, keem." Kahar said. He tried to sound stern but he sounded tired instead. "Oh sorry." Hakeem cakap sebelum gently tutup pintu office.
"Saya tak balik sekolah malam ni. Jaga awak." Kahar said. He stated. He's a very stubborn man. Bila dah set dalam otak, takkan dia ubah.
"Esok kau sekolah. Aku dah mintak cousin aku tulis surat dekat sekolah yang aku tak hadir sebab hal keluarga."
Kahar shook his head. "Awak lagi penting, sayang."
I decided not to argue and just sleep on the couch.